You can explore one of the many other fine dancers present that evening! Or if there aren't any, cut bait early so you're not that guy who keeps looking over at them to see if she might be free anytime soon, but she interprets as glaring. In my experience, the best remedy to being disappointed by a dancer is to not be disappointed with a different dancer.
Hahaha don't feel bad drunk praetorian, we have all been there, you aren't alone
For example, last time I saw my fav she was sitting with me for like 10 minutes or so and then another dude came in and she said "I'll be back" so right then I knew this was another one of her regular customers
Now the truth is I was mildly annoyed that she left, but it's not like I can force her to stay by my side. So I said ok (she asked my permission to leave)and luckily the dude didn't stay too long and once he was gone, she was all mine for the rest of the night
Now some ppl would say I should have kicked her to the curb because she was initially sitting with me, but on that particular night none of the other dancers *really* appealed to me, so I did some stage tipping and drinking until the other guy left and then she came right back over to me
While I may use terms such as "ATF" and "CF", that doesn't mean I care if they are busy, or that if they are free, I ma their's for t he asking. It simply makes no sense to me. Why put someone else at the pinnacle when you are never, ever, ever,going to join them there? Besides, if you didn't sample a multitude of others how would you even know she is "the one"? Vikings - Why kick her to the curb? My "ATF" is very popular and I know, because of how people spend that I am in the lower 15% of spenders among her clientele. I like her and if she can earn with others, I bid her farewell. Once in awhile we'll sit for a long time and if a better deal for her comes along she'll still take it, just with the silent understanding that our next time together will be sometime in the future as in 12 years our total communication, other than face to face in a club has been never.
My ATF always made time for me even though I was her only customer that wasn't a whale. That's a trait of an ATF. I suggest you re-catagorize her as a "regular", or at most a CF,
@GoVikings, in that scenario, I wouldn't hold it against a dancer who asked if it was OK to leave for a little while and then came back for the rest of the night. If I'm not planning on staying much longer, I will tell her, and we'll go for dances then. If we both know she would be starving on the streets if she only sat with me for the whole night, I consider it a nice deal to sit with her for most of a 2-3 hour visit while she takes an occasional break to hustle other prospects.
What works for me is to not be passive aggressive about it, but do whatever makes for the best visit. Sometimes in the kind of situation DrunkPraetorian describes, I leave to get something to eat or check out a couple of other clubs, and return to the first one if nothing better was going on at the other two. On some occasions, it has been like a whole different night, where 2 or 3 more desirable dancers have arrived, the whale was gone, etc.
The other side of that kind of situation is why she isn't sitting with you. It could be that she is worried that you might be getting too needy/clingy, in which case sending sad emojis wouldn't help. It could be that the whale is jealous that she sits with you, and if you leave the club, doesn't see a point in continuing to keep the dancer tied down. Checking out the talents of the other dancers can't hurt in either of those cases. Who knows, she might even start to resent the whale as being too needy/clingy for driving her other repeat customers to becoming regulars of those bitches she hates. ;)
With my former ATF, I never just dropped in. It was always planned so she knew and she then would make sure I was her focus regardless of who else wanted to see her or who she was with when I walked.
If at any point she would have not honored my appointment, I would have considered that grounds for immediate demotion and I would have moved on. Like rockstar said, an ATF should have mutual respect for your time and money as you do for her time. If she doesn't, she is expedable and probably shouldn't be your ATF.
That bastard a2 said almost exactly what I would have said. If she's my CF or ATF, I make an appointment with her in advance. That way, most of the time, I'm the guy with the hot stripper, and it's her other customers texting her sad-face emojis. I don't think it's cricket to just drop in on one of the hotter strippers, especially during a busy shift, and then get too terribly bummed she was already tied up.
And, like a2, I pretty much expect her to honor my appointment; if she doesn't, I'll demote her (not necessarily fire her). I try to think in terms of "her business model doesn't match the experience I'm looking for; no hard feelings, I'll find someone who is a better match for me" rather than in butthurt terms like "I'll kick that bitch to the curb". It's just a matter of knowing the experience I'm looking for, and knowing that depending on how important that experience is to me, I may have adjust my own behavior -- make appointments in advance, switch my club timing to slower shifts, etc. In my case, I don't settle for less than "we'll spend the next 3+ hours together, mostly exclusively", which means I'm not going to seek her out on Saturday night at 1am when the club is a sausagefest.
this might be a dumb question, but i have to ask. lets say you have an "appointment" and she knows you are coming in at a certain time. but before you get there, another PL snatches up your fav. what is she suppose to do? just get up and leave the dude she's sitting with and come over to you? that's what i don't get about appointments. i go to the club on days i know my fav will be there, but i don't set appointments.
I sometimes think that the term ATF is misunderstood. A true ATF isn't going to leave you sitting at the bar. There have been 2 dancers in my life that I considered ATFs.
The first I refer to as my original ATF. She was expecting me one day but before I got there she got a gig in the Champagne Room. So while I was sitting at a table waiting for her, she came out of the Campagne Room and over to me. She explained that she wasn't sure how much longer she would be and trued to give me $40 to get dances from some other girls while I waited. I refused the money and said that I would just wait for her.
A while later a guy in a suit came up to me with a dancer in tow. He introduced himself to me as the club manager, Eric. He said "Your ATF has bought you dances with Kitten. So just take her back there and enjoy it" I did. Much later I found out that Eric and Kitten were secretly married.
I no longer have contact with gridget but she still remains as my ATF. Whenever we were in the club at the same time, she would not dance for anyone else as long as I was there unless they asked permission from me. Only 2 ever did. Both friends of mine.
and just to clarify something you guys---when i said "kick her to the curb"--i didn't mean forever--i just meant i would kick her to the curb for that particular night.
in other words, if i go to the club to see my fav and she's tied up for too long with another PL--and i see another dancer who really appeals to me---i'll spend my time/night with that dancer and just see my fav the next time. and normally this isn't even an issue---because my fav works weeknights and we all know its typically not very busy during those times
GoVikings: I'll tell you the facts, and then I'll make some guesses. Facts: I've been a serial CFer and appointment-driven for about 8 years now (that's when I changed from extras to my current M.O.), and in that 8 years, averaging, say, 30+ trips per year, I've made appointments for many of those trips, and with very few exceptions, the stripper honors the appointment. That is, if the appointment is for 4pm, she is usually ready for me when I walk in at 4pm (or just wrapping up her previous customer), and as requested, hangs out with me for the next few hours. SUMMARY: IME even popular strippers honor appointments
Some guesses as to how she does it:
- A very small number of times, I've made an appointment with a stripper at (say) 4pm, and she told me, "I have an appointment already at 5. So if you want to hang out for a while, you need to come in earlier." That is, at least among her other appointment-driven regulars, she just tells us.
- A number of times, I've made an appointment with a stripper at (say) 4pm, and my buddy who was at the SC before me told me, "she disappeared at 3:30 and just hides in the back and waits for you at 4pm". That is, some strippers evidently take their little break at this time ... saving their energy for a good regular makes sense to me.
- A few times, I've made an appointment with a stripper at (say) 4pm, and she was still with a customer. In almost all cases, she'll come over to me, whisper to me, "just finishing up with this customer", and then got rid of him VERY fast. No idea how. But they do manipulate their current customer into leaving quickly (maybe just telling him she has an appointment, I dunno).
This may be a self-fulfilling prophecy: I only CF girls who keep their appointments. I'm sure there are strippers out there who make appointments and then don't keep them, but I end up moving on from them pretty quickly.
do some of you guys get off hogging the hoes for long periods of time? i definitely think some pls that hold the strippers to themselves fall into this category.
^^ "and just to clarify something you guys---when i said "kick her to the curb"--i didn't mean forever--i just meant i would kick her to the curb for that particular night."
In other words... If I get kicked to the curb for a night I convince myself that I'm the one doing the kicking.
If I see a whale, I quit on the double. If she's the hottest dance piece in the club, either get drunk/high enough to appreciate the other women in the club, wait for the next t shift or go to another club if possible. Unfortunately for me, since I lost my car going club hopping is more annoying than practical. Especially at night.
good response as always. if i remember correctly, you're almost always a day-time clubber. and we all know clubs are typically pretty dead during those times----so that probably has a lot to do with why you have had so much success with appointments
Not getting dances anymore from a stripper simply because she has other regulars that pay her seems like the classic "cutting off one'side nose to spite their face." To me, that reeks of jealousy and insecurity.
If you do really like her, it seems you would allow her a little freedom to enjoy another revenue stream.
@vikings - yes, she has gotten up and left a customer when I've walked in before. But what she tells me is before hand, the customer is made aware that her regular is coming in so its not a surprise to them. A big part of the reason she was and still is my ATF (even though I no longer see her) is that she made feel like there was no one more important in the world than me whenever I strolled in, and I sure made sure that financially and plutonically she got what she deserved for that service.
chess: agree, some guys seem to be flamboyant about it, like stripper hogging as conspicuous consumption, sort of the at-the-table equivalent of making it rain, where being recognized by others is part of the motive.
Speaking for myself, I don't give the other PLs another thought and couldn't give fewer fucks if anyone else is there for her, it's not even a thought that enters my head, and for the most part I like to tuck us away in the corner and be as inconspicuous as possible (which helps keep the pressure off her). For me, at least, it's not about you. It's about me getting as much time as I want with the stripper I want.
-->"good response as always. if i remember correctly, you're almost always a day-time clubber. and we all know clubs are typically pretty dead during those times----so that probably has a lot to do with why you have had so much success with appointments"
Abso-fucking-lutely. I am NOT a whale... if I were, I could pull this off on Saturday night at 1am. Instead, I find the shifts where my paltry remuneration can buy me the experience that I want. Which does not mean that there aren't commonly other guys waiting for the hottest girl on dayshift, who will be with me the next 4 hours. It means there's far fewer of them, less often, and that a regular who is only worth a paltry $200-$300 per visit is still worth passing up random variety-type PLs for.
@flagooner, yes! Dancers talk ab that a lot. We just want to make money while we are working, and try to keep our favorites happy too. I tend to be pretty busy and if one of my regulars has a crappy attitude ab me making money, then he must not really like and appreciate me much. At the same time, a cf/atf should at least take a min to come over and say hi, and let you know how long she will, and find out your plans. She shouldn't get pissed if you leave, or get dances w another girl bc she is busy.
Yeah, tying up a dancer is like the guy that goes into a public bathroom w/ just one-toilet and sits there for 20-minutes reading the newspaper b/c that's what he likes and fuck everybody else - it's a selfish dick-move IMO.
I go to small clubs where dances are on the floor and seats are hard to come by and you don't wanna lose it once you got one - at times I'll see a dude w/ a dancer trying to find a seat to get a dance and if I'm not getting a dance at the moment I'll offer him my seat and just ask him to let me have it back after his dances.
Also reminds me of Inner Room in Cocoa Beach - dances are on somrwhat uncomfortable narrow benches but the corners have more room - some guys will hog-up the corner for themselves for whenever they get a dance (which may be 30 minutes or more) and not let anyone else use it which is a total selfish dick move (the benches are for dances but the club is laidback and does not enforce people sitting there w/o getting dances).
Hogging up anything so no one else can use is a dick-move plain and simple
^ agreed
I may have misunderstood something though...
"some guys will hog-up the corner for themselves for whenever they get a dance (which may be 30 minutes or more) and not let anyone else use it..."
If they are getting 10 dances I see nothing wrong with staying in a prime spot for all the dances. But hogging the spot before and/or after is inconsiderate.
Papi, either I'm misunderstanding you or we have a rare disagreement:
-->"Yeah, tying up a dancer is like the guy that goes into a public bathroom w/ just one-toilet and sits there for 20-minutes reading the newspaper b/c that's what he likes and fuck everybody else - it's a selfish dick-move IMO."
But to make your metaphor remotely relevant to this topic: it's like a guy going into a public bathroom that has 20 toilets, and tying up one of them and everyone else can choose any of the others ... AND he's paying for that toilet the entire time ... AND it's an intelligent toilet that can eject him but the toilet itself is making a business decision to stick with just this guy ... AND then, you getting butthurt because you so badly want that particular toilet. Lesson #1: if we never use another toilet metaphor on tuscl, it'll be too soon :)
That is what we're talking about ... he's paying for her time and has the ability to buy a large chunk of it, you have plenty of other options, and in the end, SHE and only she is making the final decision as to what's the best option for her, staying with him or moving on. And you're somehow blaming him for being the better choice.
But the stripper should have the consideration to briefly excuse herself from your presence to explain the situation to her other regulars, and you should be okay with that unless you are totally supporting her. She needs their cash when you aren't there.
I have no problem going up to the dancer with the whale and asking them politely when they have the time that I'd like a dance with her. I've had a few whales glare at me, but too,f'ing bad, fat ass.
@flagooner "Not getting dances anymore from a stripper simply because she has other regulars that pay her seems like the classic "cutting off one'side nose to spite their face." To me, that reeks of jealousy and insecurity."
There's a difference between regulars and whales. Regulars could be broke boys who happened to save up for a VIP or a few dances. A whale is a fat cat who has the money to horde a lady or two for hours at a time. Half the time they can afford to just have her sit with him (or her) and not dance. Why even bother considering waiting for that when you possibly either can't or won't compete at that level just for her attention.
I know you fellas here are a bunch of rich stids, but I'm not rich so I won't bother to go broke just to compete.
I don't think we are disagreeing here. All I'm saying with that is...
If I have a favorite, there is a reason she has reached that status. If I permanently fire her I would lose out on what I used to get all because she was doing her job and making money. While it may get the desired effect of teaching her a lesson it would definitely lessen my enjoyment in frequent visits.
BTW, I club on a strict, self imposed budget because I have to. I stick to $10 dances. No VIP. No OTC. But I still have plenty of fun.
You can rationalize it any multiple ways - you're reasoning of there being other dancers also means you can get w/ other dancers for a while - i.e. just like you like getting w/ that particular dancer then so do others (many custies only wanna get w/ a few if not just one or 2 dancers in a shift so the fact there are 20 does not necessarily mean he has 20 choices) - time and time again it happens in certain clubs that a custy can't get any dances on a visit b/c they are glued to their regs like if he was her parole officer and all they do is sit there at a table and no one else can get w/ them for a mere 10 to 15 mins to get some dances w/o the reg often getting bent out of shape even though he can still spend a lot of time w/ her
I can see a regular getting *priority* over a non-regular but not *exclusivity* where she's like a kept-woman - i.e. she should be allowed (w/o getting fired by the reg) to make the rounds every now and fhen and if there are no dance-takers then come back and hang w-/ the regular
Most guys at IR will go back to the main-room after getting dances but on occasion I'll see a dude get dances then camp out on the dance bench by himself after his dances if he has a good spot
I'm on a strict budget too, so she already knows I can't compete with a whale. Debating whether to head back in tonight seeing how I barely spent anything last night. I have three favs in there but two are off this weekend
Shouldn't be seeing a girl too many times in a strip club. Get friendly with her, do what ever can be done ITC. Then after that start seeing her outside. Fuck her in your own bed.
If she won't walk out the door with you on your first visit, set up a definite time when you will be seeing her. If she won't agree to that, and she won't give up a phone number, then find out when she dances there next and tell her you will be there, and do so. Close it fast with her so that you are waking up with her in the mornings.
No reason to be going to a club looking for your "ATF". Been their done that. But it was because I was married and could not extricate myself.
If you are happily married, KEEP IT THAT WAY!
Otherwise, you need either a Marriage Counselor, or a Divorce Lawyer.
I have a habit also of hogging up whoever it is I happen to be hanging with,and I never really give a rats ass about the other guys that are there. The way I see it she has a choice, either my money pretty regularly or his money if and when he comes to visit which might not be as often as me, so even if i might only spend say $200. + per visit he might be willing to spend more but she knows that I am a sure thing week after week, month after month, the smarter girl chooses me over the other guy sitting around waiting. so if you are hanging around waiting for me to leave you will be waiting a long time.
@Subraman that toilet reference was funny as hell lol
Love this site.
New short term life goal: Go from PL to a Whale in the next 6 months. Hopefully my bitcoins and cryocurrency come through!...
Nothing better than coming to the club on a slow night, with 10k, and tying up 5 dime as strippers all night while watching the other PLs sucking on their thumbs while baby sitting their hot ass Corona lol
@Subraman should have made it a car reference you know someone brought the last red one and you're gonna wait at the dealership till he brings it back cause you really want a red one.
The dancers that come sit with me say they like sitting with me cause I will actually talk to them. Then, I either keep them around by getting dances, or let em know I'm not planning on spending a lot so they can go work the room. They usually end up coming back.
I also make sure they go and thank their tippers if they've been on stage in case there is any money to be made there (if they can make their money off other guys then I don't have to spend as much).
Force or not forced is all relative - many a PL/RIL will fire a CF on the spot if she's if she's not waiting for him all by herself upon his arrival (god forbid she making $$$ w/ another PL when he arrives even if he arrives late) - and most PL/RILs will fire the girl if she's not w/ him 100% of the time whether it's a 1-hr visit or a 5-hr visit - so IMO "forced not forced" is relative - yeah; my employer does not "force me" to be there Mo-Fr but there will be consequence if I don't do as I'm told/expected.
If you broke mothafuckas have a problem with a guy hogging a stripper, put your big boy pants on and find another girl or take your talents elsewhere (to another club).
If I have a girl tied to me I don't feel for those guys that want to get one or two dances from her. I'm giving her enough money where she wants to stay and doesn't feel like going elsewhere. I don't tell her that she has to stay with me. I'm a variety guy so I don't do the "whale" thing too often, but when I do I'm like Subra except for the fact I spend a little more (around $400 to $500).
1) there is only a set # of strippers and in many clubs that may be a low # or at least a low # of desirable ones. for them to be locked-up by at times just 10% of the PLs while nobody else can touch them - as I mentioned earlier I feel a regular should have priority but not exclusivity given the often limited resources (whether low dancer #s or low #s of desirable dancers) - in the end everyone can do as they please for the most-part whether in a strip-club or any other social setting, others be damned - no law against not giving a shit about how your actions affect others as long as one is not doing anything illegal
2) as we all know; everyone is not gonna agree on their style of SCing - some like 1-hour convos; some just want to get to dances; some like to stick to one-dancer; some like variety; some like small tits; some like big tits; etc - and so goes for locking down a dancer - for some that is the only-way they enjoy their SCing and others see it differently; so be it
It depends on one's view of the world to a certain extent - I don't think having a "I don't give a fuck how this impacts anyone else" mindset I find inconsiderate and crass - but we all have our personal POVs and I have mine that not everyone will agree with
Going with @25 on this one. I'm usually a nice considerate guy. But when I'm clubbing (unless with friends), I'm not going to be any sort of variation of a wingman to anyone. I'm not outwardly going to be a dick, but I'm there for me and me alone, regardless of what that means to your good time if you can't find another dancer.
Obviously enough, I'm in that bucket, too. I'm going for my enjoyment. I'm definitely not trying to rub anyone's face in it or anything ... but I'm definitely not there to worry about anyone else.
-->"as I mentioned earlier I feel a regular should have priority but not exclusivity given the often limited resources"
As long as you realize that when you write "should" above, you just mean that's the way you wish things were, for your own personal enjoyment -- and you feel that way even if it fucks up MY enjoyment. Basically the opposite side of the coin :) For me, the *shoulds* are: 1. I should be able to buy a block of her time if I want, 2. She should be able to decide she that that's the best deal for her, or not.
Agree with you that, as long as we all have different styles of SCing, and as long as the girls have to make choices, someone might be disappointed. Sometimes it's me
OK, I'll make up a rental car analogy. We are like sports car drivers, strippers are the sports cars. Different colors, different transmissions (paddle shift, or straight manual), weights (heavy with a big block engine, or light with a V6, but nearly identical power:weight ratio), some turbocharged (aka blown vs unblown for non-turbos), etc, etc.
So lets say that you have your heart set on a red convertible. You want to take it on your favorite mountain road for 1, maybe 2 hours to explore your favorite twisties. Red convertible (brand x) has just the right power, handling, braking, and overall road feel that fits like a glove. You could have a "good drive" with other models available, even some different colors, but the red one just does it for you so right.
Except when you get there, some fuckoe rented it for 6 hours. The thing that frosts your balls though is that fuckoe isn't racing or exercising car, but instead only drives it a few miles to a burger joint, and parks there just to have folks ooh and ahh at car while nursing his milkshake. Yeah yeah, we all know about free market, free choice, yada,yada. Find another available car that floats your boat. Maybe get there earlier before Mr. Fuckoe next time. Try another car rental place, etc, etc. But none of that erases your fantasy wish of the moment that your eyes had laser guns in them, and you could drill a pair of laser holes spaced 3" apart right through " that guy's" fucking skull. Does that about sum it up ?
"I can see a regular getting *priority* over a non-regular but not *exclusivity* where she's like a kept-woman - i.e. she should be allowed (w/o getting fired by the reg) to make the rounds every now and fhen and if there are no dance-takers then come back and hang w-/ the regular"
^matte of fact, in this scenario I would go elsewhere to find a clean toilet or a more than a few clean toilets. Hell, if you have a clean toilet at home, even better.
@minnow - but at the end of the day Mr. Fuckhoe did get their first and/or had an appointment for that red corvette and paid the money to rent it. How he uses it from there is his business and to get pissy about someone else having his idea of good time with it is beyond immature and irrational.
As the business cliche says, "your failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Mr. Fuckhoe can take his sweet time with that red convertible if he wants.
IMO, you got to have a 2nd or 3rd choice option in your playbook... although if all of your fall back options don't show up (like last night damit) it can be a grim situation
Yep last night was rough. All three of my favs were off, but it worked out because I didn't spend as much, and made a new contact although this new one I might regret down the road exchanging numbers...a bit wacky but we'll see
-->"but at the end of the day Mr. Fuckhoe did get their first and/or had an appointment for that red corvette and paid the money to rent it. How he uses it from there is his business and to get pissy about someone else having his idea of good time with it is beyond immature and irrational. "
Agree completely. I think the various factions are gonna have to agree to disagree on this
@a21985- Take a chill pill and get off your high horse for a moment. No one is calling for completely abolishing the concept of "first come, first served", and "space ownership."
And who said that tuscl members are always mature or rational. I'm sorry you can't grasp gray area nuances, including taking hyperbolic liberties in commentary.
Yes, OP got his answer within 2 posts. Have a Plan B. Of which I personally agree with, and advocate.
However, some prior posters made some valid arguments wrt the much larger concept of just how far "space ownership" goes. Many situations in life, there is a finite and very desired commodity with a number of individuals who desires said commodity at the same time. While utilizing that commodity, one has a certain right to exclusive ownership for the time required to do whatever. Doing whatever has certain societal norms, and deviating significantly from norm is where conflicts arise.
Taking the crapper example, lets say there's 3 crappers, but only 1 is functional with adequate supply of TP. One guys idea of satisfactory use might be to take a crap and read newspaper for 20 minutes. Far outside norm of 5 minutes for taking a crap. Doing that when others are waiting would be a dick move.
Another example would be the guy making a left turn from a single lane exit from a shopping center on to a busy street. He ties up numerous cars for 5 minutes. Yes, making a left turn is legal, and within his rights. One poster says being po'd in short end of stick situation is immature. I submit that the attitude of "it's my right, and if others don't like it, TFB" demonstrates an inconsiderate, unthinking attitude. Did it ever occur to that shopping center guy that maybe he'd be just as well off (and considerate of those behind him) if he'd just make a right turn followed by a U-turn 70 yards down the road ?
Yes, "first come, first served", "I have it, I own it", are well recognized, but not absolute rights.
Part 2..... Trying not to write a novel, just pointing out that concept of "I got it first, and own it" is not sacrosanct, and trumps all considerations. Folks who think that are often inconsiderate jerks. Consider these scenarios:
1) 3 lane busy street at stoplight. Guy going straight ahead stops in right lane, instead of moving over 1 lane in consideration for drivers behind him who wish to make a right turn.
2) 2 lane divided highway, with rolling hills: Truck pulls into passing lane, and stays there for next 5 minutes with variably slow overtake speed effectively blocking many cars behind him, instead of pulling over after 1st vehicle or 2.
3) Drive through ATM: 1st vehicle takes 5 minutes making multiple transactions on 2 cards while those behind him only wanted to make quick cash withdrawal.
All 3 of these cases infringe upon majority, and deviate significantly from accepted norms. Any 1 of those first liners had alternatives, and whose actions rightfully incur the wrath of majority behind them, Hell, I've encountered all 3 on some strip club road trips.
Circling back to strip club scenario: I recognize that one cannot always get 1st choice, nor should have expectation of doing so. Strip club is probably closest to car dealer analogy of several desirable cars on lot, but only 1 red convertible. No matter how much you want convertible, the 1st guy at dealership making a "good" offer is going to get convertible. As far as renting cars, as long as I get something close to what I want with a reasonable color, I don't much "GAS" what brand or color I get.
With scenarios I've presented, many folks with an ounce of vinegar in them are going to be po'd at inconsiderate/unaware schmuck in front of them. Life is sometimes many shades of grey. "Early bird gets the first worm" is a universal concept that sometimes conflict with certain norms of "consideration for others."
Strip club environment is realistically "the rule of the jungle" prevails. Some folks can' completely separate/compartmentalize that from commonly encountered "courteous consideration norms" in several scenarios outside the club.
I thought of posting this yesterday but I get frustrated with debates that take time to get responses. Since f2f isn't feasible, here goes.
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. You should look at the motives behind doing what you do.
If you happen to tIe up a girl for a long time but are paying for it and enjoying her I am fine with that. My loss, gotta look for something else.
If you are tying her up just to get an ego boost by being the BMIC (Big Man in the Club) it's a dick move IMO.
This is where I find fault with both the dancer and whale... If a dancer is going to be knowingly taking herself out of availability for an extended period she should let her regulars know instead of assuming they would just figure it out. The whale should actually encourage this IMO so his monopolizing of her time does not negatively impact her future earnings. I don't see how this would disrupt the experience at all.
Now for the part I just don't relate to. I don't understand why someone goes to a club to spend hours with one person. Some of us go to clubs to get away from that. :-)
And for those that say they don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks, that sounds really macho but it is basically the definition of a dick attitude. All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to be considerate of others.
@flagooner so I guess I have a dick attitude cause, I go for my enjoyment and don't really care one way or another if you can't get a dance with her because I am there. To me that makes no sense whatsoever, if it's any consolation to you I wasn't out to get you anyway, so, sorry you got steamrolled but your enjoyment is your own responsibility.
I agree, my enjoyment is my responsibility.
I can't help it if there are assholes in the club so I try not to let it affect my enjoyment.
It has been a while since I've been so smitten with a dancer that I had eyes for her only so this entire thread isn't really pertinent to me. I'm just voicing my insignificant opinion.
If you truly don't care if your actions hurt other people I find that sad.
I think most people who say things like that don’t really feel that way inside and that it is mostly just posturing, putting on a facade.
It really has nothing to do with caring whether my actions hurt other people, of course I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone, let me give you another analogy; you and I both have kids and let's say for the sake of this discussion they have the same birthday. I promised my little one a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese, I get there a few days before his/her birthday and book the last open party slot, for the birthday of my child Unknown to me you got there after me sorry they say you'll need to pick another day how does that make me sad or posturing ?
-->"If you happen to tIe up a girl for a long time but are paying for it and enjoying her I am fine with that. My loss, gotta look for something else.
If you are tying her up just to get an ego boost by being the BMIC (Big Man in the Club) it's a dick move IMO."
I can't imagine anyone arguing with that. That's a very different view than many of the guys in this thread, though. But yes, I think conspicuous consumption is a dick move no matter what form it takes.
-->" If a dancer is going to be knowingly taking herself out of availability for an extended period she should let her regulars know instead of assuming they would just figure it out. The whale should actually encourage this IMO so his monopolizing of her time does not negatively impact her future earnings. I don't see how this would disrupt the experience at all."
I'd be shocked if anyone argued with this either. I want my stripper to have other regulars and let them know she's tied up. In fact, sometimes I go to the SC without an appointment and some other guy has the stripper I wanted tied up for a while ... usually, once she sees me she'll come by and tell me she's tied up for a while, which I appreciate. I do not get butthurt about it or make up toilet metaphors that don't remotely apply ... I move on to another stripper that day, and make an appointment with her next time.
-->"Now for the part I just don't relate to. I don't understand why someone goes to a club to spend hours with one person. Some of us go to clubs to get away from that. :-)"
lol ... totally get it. I could explain it but it might be a horses for courses thing. If you're a variety guy, you're a variety guy
-->"All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to be considerate of others."
Absolutely agree. But for me, "considerate of others" is along the lines of exactly what you said: letting her other customers know she'll be tied up for a few hours. Some of the guys here think it means a whole lot more than that.
@25. Of course not. I’m not calling you out specifically, I'm being general. Though it was your post and a few others that motivated me to post. I'm talking about a blanket statement of "I don't care how you feel, I got mine." That is either the position of a selfish narcissist or most likely just posturing.
Most people don't really feel that way though they may say it.
In your example of the kid's party, I hope the motive would be to throw a fun party for your kid, not to gain extra enjoyment through depriving me the opportunity to give that to my child.
"In your example of the kid's party, I hope the motive would be to throw a fun party for your kid, not to gain extra enjoyment through depriving me the opportunity to give that to my child."
@flagooner that was my entire point, not to be inconsiderate, but I just don't see being "considerate of others" relevant at all. Notice i said "unknown to me" I have no reason to dump on anyone else, just as I have no reason to care why they are there. Strip clubs are a me thing, at least in mind anyway!
^^^ 25, right. I'm concentrating on groping her and getting more shots of bottom shelf tequila into her. And I don't even know who her other customers or regulars are. If she says to me, "my regular is here, can I go tell him I'm tied up", 100% of the time I shoo her off to do just that. If she says, "Oh, my regular is here", evidently a bit unsure about what to do, my reply is, "do you want to go tell him you're tied up?". But she's the one who has to notice and say something.
You guys are such dicks! If her regular comes in while she's sitting with you, everyone knows you're supposed to offer to help her out in the VIP so he can get a double BJ
so if one of you had the red convertible but didn't want to drive it, why can't I test drive it real quick then you can have it back?
if one of you was on the clean toilet and wanted to read your newspaper, why can't you finish your business and then read your paper later so I can shit?
if all the chuckie cheeses in town are full, well fuck chuckie cheese. I'm going to Dave and busters. lol.
@minnow - I'm sorry man, I'm sure you have some great valid analogies somewhere in there, but that's just way too much text for me to bother reading.
Bottom line, when I am at a strip club, I am gonna an indirect asshole to others because I'm selfishly 100% about me and really don't care about how my experience affects anyone else. Your analogies wouldn't apply because the primal, sex driven moral-less a21985 at a club in no way, shape or form is the same person as a21985 outside of the club.
-->"so if one of you had the red convertible but didn't want to drive it, why can't I test drive it real quick then you can have it back?"
chess, maybe this is the heart of the matter. When I have a stripper at my table, I enjoy every second with her. I'm not in the VIP with her the whole time -- in fact, not in the VIP with her most of the time -- but that doesn't mean I'm not loving her company, we're bantering and drinking and I realize it looks like I'm just holding her lower back but my hand is probably down her buttcrack. In the convertible metaphor, does that count as not wanting to drive it? Maybe this is just a matter of accepting that there's more ways to enjoy the strippers' time than just the time spent in the VIP?
And as a disclaimer, I hypocritically (in a good way) multiple times have told my ATF that she should go talk to some other customers since I was just gonna hang out for the rest of my time in the club.
Oddly enough, she always says no and that she'll just hang out with me while I'm still there...which might ve related to the fact I've not just covered her tip out, but got her to the dollar amount she was hoping to leave with anyways. It's not always just the whale/regular who hogs the dancer, some times the dancer just doesn't really care to dance for anyone else.
Ok. I usually don't care though. Like somebody else said I usually don't get that hung up on one girl anyway, unless she's the big fish in a small pond, the 9 or 10 surrounded by 6s and 7s, the only red convertible on the lot surrounded by cheap shitty cars.
For any of you getting your panties all in a bunch because I said that you are pulling a duck move or are being inconsiderate...
1. That is evidence enough that you do care what others think, and
2. I get accused of worse than that just about every day, so just read the comment and consider it or disregard it. I don't care, but don't waste your time justifying it.
Seeing it esp so in the club, I can see why some of these strippers avoid other custies when with a regular or whale... Too much entitlement(of the PL). Guys getting butthurt over not getting who they want, when they want. That frustration pours over to her to deal with it. And in typical stripper fashion, their coping mechanism is to avoid it(you) instead of addressing it(tied up with a whale).
Thing is, the guys who allow her more freedom get better service.
^definitely think there's some degree of entitlement in that some pl's think because they are paying her whatever amount or whatever the reason, she somehow belongs to them when they are in the strip club.
Remember everytime you are locking a dancer down, there's probably some guy in the club calling you the Fuckoe. Sometimes you are Mr. Fuckoe, sometimes you are getting Fucko'ed by someone else. It is the Yin & Yang of both life & the strip club.
There is definitely far too much entitlement. I am paying for her time, just the way things are supposed to be, and she is choosing to be there and specifically choosing not to be with you. But you feel entitled to her time because, well, that's what you want and you want what you want. You feel like you're entitled to her time despite the fact that I've paid for it and she's chosen to stay with me rather than you.
I forgive you guys though, despite the lack of decorum of grown men acting like entitled brats. Plus, I'll be done at 5:00 and send her your way if you're still here
@subra that was my feeling exactly so @chess your entitlement to my dancer, my red Convertible ,my clean toilet seat, not withstanding, feel free to go to Dave and Busters. ' )
100 comments
this happened last time I saw my fav. This dude only tied her up for about an hour, so I don't know if that qualifies as a whale, but you get the gist
as much as I line my fav, if there's another dancer on shift who *really* appeals to me......I'll kick my fav aside. All depends on the lineup
As ppwh mentioned, don't put all your PL-eggs in one basket - play the field a bit and also hit other clubs that may be worthwhile
For example, last time I saw my fav she was sitting with me for like 10 minutes or so and then another dude came in and she said "I'll be back" so right then I knew this was another one of her regular customers
Now the truth is I was mildly annoyed that she left, but it's not like I can force her to stay by my side. So I said ok (she asked my permission to leave)and luckily the dude didn't stay too long and once he was gone, she was all mine for the rest of the night
Now some ppl would say I should have kicked her to the curb because she was initially sitting with me, but on that particular night none of the other dancers *really* appealed to me, so I did some stage tipping and drinking until the other guy left and then she came right back over to me
What works for me is to not be passive aggressive about it, but do whatever makes for the best visit. Sometimes in the kind of situation DrunkPraetorian describes, I leave to get something to eat or check out a couple of other clubs, and return to the first one if nothing better was going on at the other two. On some occasions, it has been like a whole different night, where 2 or 3 more desirable dancers have arrived, the whale was gone, etc.
The other side of that kind of situation is why she isn't sitting with you. It could be that she is worried that you might be getting too needy/clingy, in which case sending sad emojis wouldn't help. It could be that the whale is jealous that she sits with you, and if you leave the club, doesn't see a point in continuing to keep the dancer tied down. Checking out the talents of the other dancers can't hurt in either of those cases. Who knows, she might even start to resent the whale as being too needy/clingy for driving her other repeat customers to becoming regulars of those bitches she hates. ;)
If at any point she would have not honored my appointment, I would have considered that grounds for immediate demotion and I would have moved on. Like rockstar said, an ATF should have mutual respect for your time and money as you do for her time. If she doesn't, she is expedable and probably shouldn't be your ATF.
And, like a2, I pretty much expect her to honor my appointment; if she doesn't, I'll demote her (not necessarily fire her). I try to think in terms of "her business model doesn't match the experience I'm looking for; no hard feelings, I'll find someone who is a better match for me" rather than in butthurt terms like "I'll kick that bitch to the curb". It's just a matter of knowing the experience I'm looking for, and knowing that depending on how important that experience is to me, I may have adjust my own behavior -- make appointments in advance, switch my club timing to slower shifts, etc. In my case, I don't settle for less than "we'll spend the next 3+ hours together, mostly exclusively", which means I'm not going to seek her out on Saturday night at 1am when the club is a sausagefest.
The first I refer to as my original ATF. She was expecting me one day but before I got there she got a gig in the Champagne Room. So while I was sitting at a table waiting for her, she came out of the Campagne Room and over to me. She explained that she wasn't sure how much longer she would be and trued to give me $40 to get dances from some other girls while I waited. I refused the money and said that I would just wait for her.
A while later a guy in a suit came up to me with a dancer in tow. He introduced himself to me as the club manager, Eric. He said "Your ATF has bought you dances with Kitten. So just take her back there and enjoy it" I did. Much later I found out that Eric and Kitten were secretly married.
I no longer have contact with gridget but she still remains as my ATF. Whenever we were in the club at the same time, she would not dance for anyone else as long as I was there unless they asked permission from me. Only 2 ever did. Both friends of mine.
in other words, if i go to the club to see my fav and she's tied up for too long with another PL--and i see another dancer who really appeals to me---i'll spend my time/night with that dancer and just see my fav the next time. and normally this isn't even an issue---because my fav works weeknights and we all know its typically not very busy during those times
Some guesses as to how she does it:
- A very small number of times, I've made an appointment with a stripper at (say) 4pm, and she told me, "I have an appointment already at 5. So if you want to hang out for a while, you need to come in earlier." That is, at least among her other appointment-driven regulars, she just tells us.
- A number of times, I've made an appointment with a stripper at (say) 4pm, and my buddy who was at the SC before me told me, "she disappeared at 3:30 and just hides in the back and waits for you at 4pm". That is, some strippers evidently take their little break at this time ... saving their energy for a good regular makes sense to me.
- A few times, I've made an appointment with a stripper at (say) 4pm, and she was still with a customer. In almost all cases, she'll come over to me, whisper to me, "just finishing up with this customer", and then got rid of him VERY fast. No idea how. But they do manipulate their current customer into leaving quickly (maybe just telling him she has an appointment, I dunno).
This may be a self-fulfilling prophecy: I only CF girls who keep their appointments. I'm sure there are strippers out there who make appointments and then don't keep them, but I end up moving on from them pretty quickly.
In other words... If I get kicked to the curb for a night I convince myself that I'm the one doing the kicking.
good response as always. if i remember correctly, you're almost always a day-time clubber. and we all know clubs are typically pretty dead during those times----so that probably has a lot to do with why you have had so much success with appointments
Not getting dances anymore from a stripper simply because she has other regulars that pay her seems like the classic "cutting off one'side nose to spite their face." To me, that reeks of jealousy and insecurity.
If you do really like her, it seems you would allow her a little freedom to enjoy another revenue stream.
Speaking for myself, I don't give the other PLs another thought and couldn't give fewer fucks if anyone else is there for her, it's not even a thought that enters my head, and for the most part I like to tuck us away in the corner and be as inconspicuous as possible (which helps keep the pressure off her). For me, at least, it's not about you. It's about me getting as much time as I want with the stripper I want.
Abso-fucking-lutely. I am NOT a whale... if I were, I could pull this off on Saturday night at 1am. Instead, I find the shifts where my paltry remuneration can buy me the experience that I want. Which does not mean that there aren't commonly other guys waiting for the hottest girl on dayshift, who will be with me the next 4 hours. It means there's far fewer of them, less often, and that a regular who is only worth a paltry $200-$300 per visit is still worth passing up random variety-type PLs for.
I go to small clubs where dances are on the floor and seats are hard to come by and you don't wanna lose it once you got one - at times I'll see a dude w/ a dancer trying to find a seat to get a dance and if I'm not getting a dance at the moment I'll offer him my seat and just ask him to let me have it back after his dances.
Also reminds me of Inner Room in Cocoa Beach - dances are on somrwhat uncomfortable narrow benches but the corners have more room - some guys will hog-up the corner for themselves for whenever they get a dance (which may be 30 minutes or more) and not let anyone else use it which is a total selfish dick move (the benches are for dances but the club is laidback and does not enforce people sitting there w/o getting dances).
Hogging up anything so no one else can use is a dick-move plain and simple
I may have misunderstood something though...
"some guys will hog-up the corner for themselves for whenever they get a dance (which may be 30 minutes or more) and not let anyone else use it..."
If they are getting 10 dances I see nothing wrong with staying in a prime spot for all the dances. But hogging the spot before and/or after is inconsiderate.
-->"Yeah, tying up a dancer is like the guy that goes into a public bathroom w/ just one-toilet and sits there for 20-minutes reading the newspaper b/c that's what he likes and fuck everybody else - it's a selfish dick-move IMO."
But to make your metaphor remotely relevant to this topic: it's like a guy going into a public bathroom that has 20 toilets, and tying up one of them and everyone else can choose any of the others ... AND he's paying for that toilet the entire time ... AND it's an intelligent toilet that can eject him but the toilet itself is making a business decision to stick with just this guy ... AND then, you getting butthurt because you so badly want that particular toilet. Lesson #1: if we never use another toilet metaphor on tuscl, it'll be too soon :)
That is what we're talking about ... he's paying for her time and has the ability to buy a large chunk of it, you have plenty of other options, and in the end, SHE and only she is making the final decision as to what's the best option for her, staying with him or moving on. And you're somehow blaming him for being the better choice.
But the stripper should have the consideration to briefly excuse herself from your presence to explain the situation to her other regulars, and you should be okay with that unless you are totally supporting her. She needs their cash when you aren't there.
There's a difference between regulars and whales. Regulars could be broke boys who happened to save up for a VIP or a few dances. A whale is a fat cat who has the money to horde a lady or two for hours at a time. Half the time they can afford to just have her sit with him (or her) and not dance. Why even bother considering waiting for that when you possibly either can't or won't compete at that level just for her attention.
I know you fellas here are a bunch of rich stids, but I'm not rich so I won't bother to go broke just to compete.
I don't think we are disagreeing here. All I'm saying with that is...
If I have a favorite, there is a reason she has reached that status. If I permanently fire her I would lose out on what I used to get all because she was doing her job and making money. While it may get the desired effect of teaching her a lesson it would definitely lessen my enjoyment in frequent visits.
BTW, I club on a strict, self imposed budget because I have to. I stick to $10 dances. No VIP. No OTC. But I still have plenty of fun.
You can rationalize it any multiple ways - you're reasoning of there being other dancers also means you can get w/ other dancers for a while - i.e. just like you like getting w/ that particular dancer then so do others (many custies only wanna get w/ a few if not just one or 2 dancers in a shift so the fact there are 20 does not necessarily mean he has 20 choices) - time and time again it happens in certain clubs that a custy can't get any dances on a visit b/c they are glued to their regs like if he was her parole officer and all they do is sit there at a table and no one else can get w/ them for a mere 10 to 15 mins to get some dances w/o the reg often getting bent out of shape even though he can still spend a lot of time w/ her
Most guys at IR will go back to the main-room after getting dances but on occasion I'll see a dude get dances then camp out on the dance bench by himself after his dances if he has a good spot
@subra, what if all the other toilet seats have shit stains or pee splattered all over?
I definitely fall into the regular category-- I'm on a budget--I ain't no John Smith :-)
If she won't walk out the door with you on your first visit, set up a definite time when you will be seeing her. If she won't agree to that, and she won't give up a phone number, then find out when she dances there next and tell her you will be there, and do so. Close it fast with her so that you are waking up with her in the mornings.
No reason to be going to a club looking for your "ATF". Been their done that. But it was because I was married and could not extricate myself.
If you are happily married, KEEP IT THAT WAY!
Otherwise, you need either a Marriage Counselor, or a Divorce Lawyer.
SJG
Gordon White
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjSqoqqZ…
Whales have the smallest penis size per body weight of any mammal.
True fact that I just made up, just to roast you. Bam, roasted.
Love this site.
New short term life goal: Go from PL to a Whale in the next 6 months. Hopefully my bitcoins and cryocurrency come through!...
Nothing better than coming to the club on a slow night, with 10k, and tying up 5 dime as strippers all night while watching the other PLs sucking on their thumbs while baby sitting their hot ass Corona lol
I also make sure they go and thank their tippers if they've been on stage in case there is any money to be made there (if they can make their money off other guys then I don't have to spend as much).
If I have a girl tied to me I don't feel for those guys that want to get one or two dances from her. I'm giving her enough money where she wants to stay and doesn't feel like going elsewhere. I don't tell her that she has to stay with me. I'm a variety guy so I don't do the "whale" thing too often, but when I do I'm like Subra except for the fact I spend a little more (around $400 to $500).
1) there is only a set # of strippers and in many clubs that may be a low # or at least a low # of desirable ones. for them to be locked-up by at times just 10% of the PLs while nobody else can touch them - as I mentioned earlier I feel a regular should have priority but not exclusivity given the often limited resources (whether low dancer #s or low #s of desirable dancers) - in the end everyone can do as they please for the most-part whether in a strip-club or any other social setting, others be damned - no law against not giving a shit about how your actions affect others as long as one is not doing anything illegal
2) as we all know; everyone is not gonna agree on their style of SCing - some like 1-hour convos; some just want to get to dances; some like to stick to one-dancer; some like variety; some like small tits; some like big tits; etc - and so goes for locking down a dancer - for some that is the only-way they enjoy their SCing and others see it differently; so be it
It depends on one's view of the world to a certain extent - I don't think having a "I don't give a fuck how this impacts anyone else" mindset I find inconsiderate and crass - but we all have our personal POVs and I have mine that not everyone will agree with
-->"as I mentioned earlier I feel a regular should have priority but not exclusivity given the often limited resources"
As long as you realize that when you write "should" above, you just mean that's the way you wish things were, for your own personal enjoyment -- and you feel that way even if it fucks up MY enjoyment. Basically the opposite side of the coin :) For me, the *shoulds* are: 1. I should be able to buy a block of her time if I want, 2. She should be able to decide she that that's the best deal for her, or not.
Agree with you that, as long as we all have different styles of SCing, and as long as the girls have to make choices, someone might be disappointed. Sometimes it's me
Not at all - but if it's getting down to splitting grammatical hairs to prove a point then we've past the point of diminishing returns.
So lets say that you have your heart set on a red convertible. You want to take it on your favorite mountain road for 1, maybe 2 hours to explore your favorite twisties. Red convertible (brand x) has just the right power, handling, braking, and overall road feel that fits like a glove. You could have a "good drive" with other models available, even some different colors, but the red one just does it for you so right.
Except when you get there, some fuckoe rented it for 6 hours. The thing that frosts your balls though is that fuckoe isn't racing or exercising car, but instead only drives it a few miles to a burger joint, and parks there just to have folks ooh and ahh at car while nursing his milkshake. Yeah yeah, we all know about free market, free choice, yada,yada. Find another available car that floats your boat. Maybe get there earlier before Mr. Fuckoe next time. Try another car rental place, etc, etc. But none of that erases your fantasy wish of the moment that your eyes had laser guns in them, and you could drill a pair of laser holes spaced 3" apart right through " that guy's" fucking skull. Does that about sum it up ?
Well put.
This. At least have the courtesy to share the lone clean toilet.
As the business cliche says, "your failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Mr. Fuckhoe can take his sweet time with that red convertible if he wants.
Agree completely. I think the various factions are gonna have to agree to disagree on this
Act accordingly. Have a plan B.
And who said that tuscl members are always mature or rational. I'm sorry you can't grasp gray area nuances, including taking hyperbolic liberties in commentary.
Yes, OP got his answer within 2 posts. Have a Plan B. Of which I personally agree with, and advocate.
However, some prior posters made some valid arguments wrt the much larger concept of just how far "space ownership" goes. Many situations in life, there is a finite and very desired commodity with a number of individuals who desires said commodity at the same time. While utilizing that commodity, one has a certain right to exclusive ownership for the time required to do whatever. Doing whatever has certain societal norms, and deviating significantly from norm is where conflicts arise.
Taking the crapper example, lets say there's 3 crappers, but only 1 is functional with adequate supply of TP. One guys idea of satisfactory use might be to take a crap and read newspaper for 20 minutes. Far outside norm of 5 minutes for taking a crap. Doing that when others are waiting would be a dick move.
Another example would be the guy making a left turn from a single lane exit from a shopping center on to a busy street. He ties up numerous cars for 5 minutes. Yes, making a left turn is legal, and within his rights. One poster says being po'd in short end of stick situation is immature. I submit that the attitude of "it's my right, and if others don't like it, TFB" demonstrates an inconsiderate, unthinking attitude. Did it ever occur to that shopping center guy that maybe he'd be just as well off (and considerate of those behind him) if he'd just make a right turn followed by a U-turn 70 yards down the road ?
Yes, "first come, first served", "I have it, I own it", are well recognized, but not absolute rights.
.....End Part 1...
1) 3 lane busy street at stoplight. Guy going straight ahead stops in right lane, instead of moving over 1 lane in consideration for drivers behind him who wish to make a right turn.
2) 2 lane divided highway, with rolling hills: Truck pulls into passing lane, and stays there for next 5 minutes with variably slow overtake speed effectively blocking many cars behind him, instead of pulling over after 1st vehicle or 2.
3) Drive through ATM: 1st vehicle takes 5 minutes making multiple transactions on 2 cards while those behind him only wanted to make quick cash withdrawal.
All 3 of these cases infringe upon majority, and deviate significantly from accepted norms. Any 1 of those first liners had alternatives, and whose actions rightfully incur the wrath of majority behind them, Hell, I've encountered all 3 on some strip club road trips.
Circling back to strip club scenario: I recognize that one cannot always get 1st choice, nor should have expectation of doing so. Strip club is probably closest to car dealer analogy of several desirable cars on lot, but only 1 red convertible. No matter how much you want convertible, the 1st guy at dealership making a "good" offer is going to get convertible. As far as renting cars, as long as I get something close to what I want with a reasonable color, I don't much "GAS" what brand or color I get.
With scenarios I've presented, many folks with an ounce of vinegar in them are going to be po'd at inconsiderate/unaware schmuck in front of them. Life is sometimes many shades of grey. "Early bird gets the first worm" is a universal concept that sometimes conflict with certain norms of "consideration for others."
Strip club environment is realistically "the rule of the jungle" prevails. Some folks can' completely separate/compartmentalize that from commonly encountered "courteous consideration norms" in several scenarios outside the club.
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. You should look at the motives behind doing what you do.
If you happen to tIe up a girl for a long time but are paying for it and enjoying her I am fine with that. My loss, gotta look for something else.
If you are tying her up just to get an ego boost by being the BMIC (Big Man in the Club) it's a dick move IMO.
This is where I find fault with both the dancer and whale... If a dancer is going to be knowingly taking herself out of availability for an extended period she should let her regulars know instead of assuming they would just figure it out. The whale should actually encourage this IMO so his monopolizing of her time does not negatively impact her future earnings. I don't see how this would disrupt the experience at all.
Now for the part I just don't relate to. I don't understand why someone goes to a club to spend hours with one person. Some of us go to clubs to get away from that. :-)
And for those that say they don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks, that sounds really macho but it is basically the definition of a dick attitude. All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to be considerate of others.
I can't help it if there are assholes in the club so I try not to let it affect my enjoyment.
It has been a while since I've been so smitten with a dancer that I had eyes for her only so this entire thread isn't really pertinent to me. I'm just voicing my insignificant opinion.
If you truly don't care if your actions hurt other people I find that sad.
I think most people who say things like that don’t really feel that way inside and that it is mostly just posturing, putting on a facade.
If you are tying her up just to get an ego boost by being the BMIC (Big Man in the Club) it's a dick move IMO."
I can't imagine anyone arguing with that. That's a very different view than many of the guys in this thread, though. But yes, I think conspicuous consumption is a dick move no matter what form it takes.
-->" If a dancer is going to be knowingly taking herself out of availability for an extended period she should let her regulars know instead of assuming they would just figure it out. The whale should actually encourage this IMO so his monopolizing of her time does not negatively impact her future earnings. I don't see how this would disrupt the experience at all."
I'd be shocked if anyone argued with this either. I want my stripper to have other regulars and let them know she's tied up. In fact, sometimes I go to the SC without an appointment and some other guy has the stripper I wanted tied up for a while ... usually, once she sees me she'll come by and tell me she's tied up for a while, which I appreciate. I do not get butthurt about it or make up toilet metaphors that don't remotely apply ... I move on to another stripper that day, and make an appointment with her next time.
-->"Now for the part I just don't relate to. I don't understand why someone goes to a club to spend hours with one person. Some of us go to clubs to get away from that. :-)"
lol ... totally get it. I could explain it but it might be a horses for courses thing. If you're a variety guy, you're a variety guy
-->"All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to be considerate of others."
Absolutely agree. But for me, "considerate of others" is along the lines of exactly what you said: letting her other customers know she'll be tied up for a few hours. Some of the guys here think it means a whole lot more than that.
@25. Of course not. I’m not calling you out specifically, I'm being general. Though it was your post and a few others that motivated me to post. I'm talking about a blanket statement of "I don't care how you feel, I got mine." That is either the position of a selfish narcissist or most likely just posturing.
Most people don't really feel that way though they may say it.
In your example of the kid's party, I hope the motive would be to throw a fun party for your kid, not to gain extra enjoyment through depriving me the opportunity to give that to my child.
@flagooner that was my entire point, not to be inconsiderate, but I just don't see being "considerate of others" relevant at all. Notice i said "unknown to me" I have no reason to dump on anyone else, just as I have no reason to care why they are there. Strip clubs are a me thing, at least in mind anyway!
if one of you was on the clean toilet and wanted to read your newspaper, why can't you finish your business and then read your paper later so I can shit?
if all the chuckie cheeses in town are full, well fuck chuckie cheese. I'm going to Dave and busters. lol.
Bottom line, when I am at a strip club, I am gonna an indirect asshole to others because I'm selfishly 100% about me and really don't care about how my experience affects anyone else. Your analogies wouldn't apply because the primal, sex driven moral-less a21985 at a club in no way, shape or form is the same person as a21985 outside of the club.
chess, maybe this is the heart of the matter. When I have a stripper at my table, I enjoy every second with her. I'm not in the VIP with her the whole time -- in fact, not in the VIP with her most of the time -- but that doesn't mean I'm not loving her company, we're bantering and drinking and I realize it looks like I'm just holding her lower back but my hand is probably down her buttcrack. In the convertible metaphor, does that count as not wanting to drive it? Maybe this is just a matter of accepting that there's more ways to enjoy the strippers' time than just the time spent in the VIP?
Oddly enough, she always says no and that she'll just hang out with me while I'm still there...which might ve related to the fact I've not just covered her tip out, but got her to the dollar amount she was hoping to leave with anyways. It's not always just the whale/regular who hogs the dancer, some times the dancer just doesn't really care to dance for anyone else.
For any of you getting your panties all in a bunch because I said that you are pulling a duck move or are being inconsiderate...
1. That is evidence enough that you do care what others think, and
2. I get accused of worse than that just about every day, so just read the comment and consider it or disregard it. I don't care, but don't waste your time justifying it.
Thing is, the guys who allow her more freedom get better service.