Stripper fishing for compliments.

For the most part, I think it costs very little to make someone feel nice, especially a low-self-esteem young woman in her underwear who probably has a tragic past. On the other hand, sometimes the girls use this as the prelude to their hustle: "you just said how hot I look, we should get a dance" type thing, where they're depending on the guy being uncomfortable about being "outed" as a liar if he doesn't. I find this easy to handle, but if you're uncomfortable with this kind of hustle, it's a potential downside.

I always thought that women who work in strip clubs were very confident about their looks

I mean their looks/appearance is the main thing that will make them money

So you would think that they would see themselves as very attractive

But I guess not

shrugs shoulders

I tell them the truth, though I try to be constructive about it. "This works, but that doesn't," or "I think you look better in this outfit; or that other outfit shows off your tits or ass better." This is one area of my life where I don't feel like I have to be tactfully dishonest. Some girls even seem to appreciate the honesty and constructive criticism.

The only thing I'm liberal with is compliments :) -- they cost me nothing and win a lot of good will. I try to find compliments that they don't already hear every day. For example, instead of telling a large-breasted stripper that I like her tits, I'll compliment her outfit, or her hair, or her fingernail polish -- you get the idea. (Actually I'll probably find some way to compliment her tits, too.)

Dudes tell my ATF every time she works that she has a beautiful face, eyes, tits, ass, etc. -- she hears that shit all the time. So I try to compliment her on nonstandard attributes such as her persistence (which in my case means sucking for as long as it takes to get the job done) and her reliability (i.e., making every date that we officially agree on).

I'm often asked by strippers if I like their new whole-back tattoo, gargantuan breast implants, or barbell nipple piercings. I say I preferred them the way they were before. This is of course, a buzz kill. After getting fewer dances, or none at all, they get the hint and fade away. Fortunately, new CFs are always in the hopper.

Strippers and the girls who work at the club are very shallow and vain. If they are nice to me- I always recipicate. Many times it can be better than a tip..

Compliments to a woman any woman stripper or civvie are like flowers and chocolates.

anyway, to answer the question, the last time i saw my CF she told me that she was seriously considering changing her hair color. she wanted to change it from black (her current color) to blonde or something of a lighter shade.

so then she asked me what do i think

my CF is mexican and colombian. she has the classic latina look. jet black hair

black hair is my favorite hair color on a woman and i wouldn't like it if she changed it and i told her this, but then i also said "but its your hair" and we shared a laugh.

i wonder if she'll have a different color the next time i see her. hmmmmm

I'm too nice, I always them I like it.

I'm usually pretty honest. I try to have a heart though, at least if its a girl who's not a bitch. If she asks if her hair looks good and I don't think it does, I'll respond by saying "yeah, your ass looks great in that outfit!" or something. If its a girl I'm comfortable with and I know she's really asking, not fishing for compliments, I'll be honest either way, especially if its trivial. I'll tell a girl pretty bluntly that I don't like her outfit, or hairstyle, or even that she's put on a few lbs and I can see it. Things like a fucked up nose, roast beef downstairs, etc, I'll be a little less blunt about.

As far as confidence/self esteem goes, in my experience its all over the road. Some girls are confident about their looks, and should be cause they're hot. Some girls have GPS or some other form of overconfidence about their looks. Some display outward confidence, but have none really. I would say, of the strippers I've been friendly enough with to know their real feelings, most have low confidence/self esteem and derive what little they have from men at the club "wanting" them.

" I would say, of the strippers I've been friendly enough with to know their real feelings, most have low confidence/self esteem and derive what little they have from men at the club "wanting" them."

i believe it.

but it still surprises me because obviously looks are the main thing that is gonna make a stripper $$$. so you would think that a woman who signs up to be a stripper......would feel confident about her looks/appearance.

but apparently from what i've read/heard.....most women are very insecure. perhaps this is common knowledge, but i never knew it

IME their confidence balances on the head of a pin, and insecurities abound. She could feel rock solid confident today, be feeling fragile tomorrow...

Women in general prefer to hear and say what they think is right vs what is true - e.g. when a hippo posts on SW asking if she has the look to make $$$ as a dancer seems 80% of the SWers say "girl you look great - you'd bank".

Most of us know that it's best to not be completely honest w/ women - and seems w/ strippers having a different POV from theirs often times does not get you anywhere except an uncomfortable awkward place (for the most-part IME; not all dancers).

w.r.t. the OP - I don't care much about the face, makeup, hair, outfits - to me it's all about the bod (tits; ass; legs; hips) - I'm not shallow to be thinking of outfits and hair :)

So whenever a dancer asks me about her hair or outfit; if it doesn't do anything for me then 75% of the time I say it's ok and maybe 25% of the time I'll state my different preference but rarely will say "I don't like it" (as to not hurt feelings).

I don't give out compliments for the sake of giving compliments; kinda waters it down IMO - usually when I give them is b/c I mean it and it's what I'm genuinely feeling/thinking at the time - I like tits and most of the time if I make a comment is w.r.t. that ("wow you have great boobs") - I assume most of them would rather be complimented in different ways and probably 3/4 of them don't take it as a compliment and maybe 1/4 do - I'm not a big complimenter by nature but will compliment them on their hair or makeup at times if it really looks great or different from b/f - if I falsely compliment them then it feels like I'm lying to them so at worst I'll stay neutral.

A good compliment: Wow you look amazing in that red dress. A great compliment: Wow that red dress looks amazing on you. The same? No fucking way. Ex. #1 - the dress makes her amazing. Ex. #2 - She makes the dress look amazing.

I always try to compliment them, and to say something good and insightful.

If I don't like the outfit, I might remind the girl of another one I saw her in, or I might say I like it better when she takes it off. That way I don't make her feel bad.

I don't ever fail to compliment if it is something she has to keep wearing for the day, like say in a Viet Coffee Shop.

SJG

@skibum... How well does that work if her dress is black?

I'll usually try to be polite, and not negative. I've seldom gone farther than something on the order of "I'm not a huge fan of that..." whatever we're talking about.

Not the answer to the question but I have to comment on GoVikings thought about dancers feeling confident. I've found that extremely rare. Most girls, including some of the most beautiful I've met, talked to and had dances from, are basically insecure and are seeking affirmation through their dancing and interaction with customers.

I never give compliments, I dont do the GFE. Come to work ready to work! Their job is to provide a fantasy, this is why i prefer lesbians. That way from the jump it is straight business, I usually ask the girl is she straight. They respond by saying 'Bi' and I mention going to gay clubs with one of my friends then they usually tell me the truth or they continue with the whole "Bi" thing I drop them. I've complimented one black girl at Fantasies who was dressed to the T, she was the only black girl there but she represented black beauty well. I usually tip her more because I know the Nails/Hair is not cheap.