lawyer jokes
skibum609
Massachusetts
What is your all time favorite lawyer joke? Example 1. Why did Washington DC get all the lawyers and New Jersey get all the toxic waste dumps and chemical plants? New Jersey chose first. Example 2. Two layers are walking along a deserted beach when they come across a beautiful young woman sunbathing nude on the sand. After they both check her out the first lawyer says to the second lawyer: "Look at that fucking babe. I would sure like to screw her". The second lawyer responds: "Yeah, me too. Out of what?"
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A 5th grade teacher asks her students what their mothers do for a living.
Little Billy says, "My mom is nurse."
Little Judy says, "My mom is a realtor."
Then little Johnny looks up at her and says, "My mom is a stripper. Every night, she dances in a g-string for a bunch of men, and sometimes one of the men will pay her and she'll go to the man's hotel for the night." The teacher, shocked, hurriedly moves the class along to the next activity.
The next day the teacher pulls Johnny aside and asks, "Is it really true that your mom's a stripper?"
Johnny replies, "No. She's a lawyer, but that was too embarrassing to tell the whole class."
Q: "What's another good name for skibum609?"
A: "A fag!"
LOL!
A. A rottweiler.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"
She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "I'll screw anybody any time, any where, any place, it doesn't matter to me."
The guy raises his eyebrows and says, "No kidding? What law firm do you work for?"
Q: What do you call a hundred lawyers tossed into the bottom of a lake?
A: A good start.
A. A family lawyer.
A. What do you call a lawyer who's an asshole, a bigot, and a moron?
A. Jeff Sessions
A. A family lawyer."
You'll recall never the skifag never answered the question about whether he attended a top 10 school or not. Not that matter since lawyers are all, at best, in the second tier of society intellectually.
Lol!
Skid marks in front of the snake!
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Great third-tier school, there. Do they teach un-critical thinking, birther-ism, conspiracy theories, and how-to-smoke weed-3x-per-day?
It was so cold that some lawyers in my firm were actually seen with their hands in their own pockets.
There are some things a rat just will not do!
What do you call a disbarred lawyer?
A politician!
What do you call a disbarred lawyer who has never had a job?
A democrat politician!
What do you call a disbarred politician who has murdered anyone in her or her husband's way, sold nation secrets, national resources, and undermined the security of all of us while claiming to be mother of the year?
"Hillary"
Did hear the real reason for the pollution in Flint Michigan's water supply?
There was a skinny dipping group of lawyers swimming up stream!