How should I spend $500 while my wife is away for a week?

Shoes ; )

A

Go online, find a well reviewed escort in your area. Book her for multiple hours at your home and fuck her in your bed. Make sure to wash the sheets before she gets home or you may have some "splaining" to do!

D- All of the above and in the order you listed

I recently had the same situation, and tried A, and wound up wasting time and money. I spent the rest of the week on B &C

If it was me, I'd skip the high end club and visit the high mileage club 2 times.

Any left over cash is to buy a gift for the wife when she comes home, here sweetie I got this because I was missing you while you were gone.

You can send it to me at.....

;-)

Invest in some TUSCL bonds

Go to the high-end club for some eye-candy then hit the HM dive to seal-the-deal.

Also, patience is a virtue - sit back and take in the scene and then try to choose wisely on which dancer to spend on vs the first chick that hits you up.

I wonder if your wife is on another website asking what she can do not having you around for a week

:)

There's gotta be a hot MILF in your neighborhood - tell her you're alone for a week and will pay her cellphone bill and take her to Olive Garden if she fucks you. That should only cost you about $150.

Go to Hong Kong in Tijuana - the $500 would go a very long way there

C.

Do yourself a favor and make her happy so you can use more time to research your needs before asking a bunch of strangers on a perverted board telling what they'd do. In the long run it will give you more time away to play and set up future arrangements.

Like SJG says, front room friendliness before the pants come off. You need to make sure she is all worked up and ready to go. Then you can go multiple rounds of GFE with her. Lap dances are a chumps game.

Make a donation to your church.

Hot pockets...lots and lots of hot pockets

Is the 500 bucks the pizza money your wife left you for the weekend?

Personally, when my wife is out, I go to a lot of restaurants my wife never lets me eat at, and I do a lot of fully naked jerking off, the kind where you don't have to watch your clock or the door. You can bang a stripper or whore whenever, but naked jerks are rare.

PS - Dave Chappelle's most recent netflix standup special as a piece about the elusive naked jerk that was so true and funny. My wife was wondering why I was cracking up so much during that bit...

lets see... $500. in las vegas at the spearmint rhino i might get a few drinks and a vip low mileage dance. for 10 minutes... in los angeles i might get a half hour with a hot girl. or in hong kong i will have two very hot girls and so much drinks and groping lasting for hours. or

staying at home a bunch of pizza and take out for the week.

Change it all into $1s and make it rain on-stage so you can live like a baller for a few minutes

"so you can live like a baller for a few minutes"

One of the strange stories to watch unfold are the guys who saved up so they could throw a bunch of ones. They do their "look at me" and then step back looking sad for the rest of the night. If you're going to blow money you can't afford on a hobby at least enjoy the moment.

How far are you from Detroit?

$500 should get you 2 to 3 BBBJs, plus a few beers and enough to tip the bathroom troll a buck or two and pay the $8 valet fee.

@wallanon or at least save up more than $100 because that's not a good time lol. Broke bitches. Better Yet, spend that money on return investment before you hot the club. Your broke for a reason lol

B. quite funny.

But if I were you I'd choose D. D. would be a combination of $200 gambling playing blackjack and the other SCing $100, and hopefully scoring OTC at $200. $500 well spent.

Blow it on getting blown

C or D (leave it in the bank). My marriage fell apart almost five years ago (not for mongering reasons -- I started doing that afterwards) and it's absolutely killing me every day. I am filled with so much regret that it's hard to go on some days. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody.

If we are talking about $500 as if saving it and then spending it is some special event, then my vote is to do anything but blow it on strippers. Go to a ballgame, buy yourself a nice steak dinner, and then maybe spend what is left on something nice for your wife.

Rickdugan is right. Throw in the fact that a wife is extra vigilant and suspicious when they're gone. Cell phone calls etc. "why didn't you answer my call" questions... Fuck that. Do your strip clubbing when she's home. Just smoke a cigar in the car on your drive home. Camouflage s's the stripper juice. If you get one with body glitter and you're to fucked up to notice that & you're questioned about it in the morning during your hang over recovery just say you were shopping for greeting cards and must have had glitter on them. Then if all else fails, you're at the end of your rope, tired of having to come up with cover stories or excuses to a hostile, fat bitch of a wife who doesn't work and is a piss poor mother anyway tell her to fuck off and file for divorce. Take a year off, get your kids on track, make some good money then spend the rest of your years fucking 20 something strippers as many and as often as you can! Wow. That was therapeutic...

"Then if all else fails, you're at the end of your rope, tired of having to come up with cover stories or excuses to a hostile, fat bitch of a wife who doesn't work and is a piss poor mother anyway tell her to fuck off and file for divorce."

In marketing parlance, this would be the Voice of the Customer. Depressed housewives, please read this with no sharp objects nearby. Angry and annoying housewives, please print a few copies and roll them up into a tube. Hit yourself over the head. Repeat over and over and over...

Other, buy some nikes and go to the sketchy place with high mileage. High End clubs, never offer anything fun.

sal69. ditto. truly therapeutic.

Go to an AMP 4 times.

$500? I know three clubs where you can be in and out after a good BJ four times for that.

But I tend to agree with Rick on this one. If that seems like a lot of money to you, save it for something really special.