Approaching the woman for a dance?

44 comments

• ime

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  7 years ago

  You tell the waitress/bouncer/manager if they are near you to let her know your interested is one way. It is a strip club what are you afraid of. Shit if you can't talk to girls who get paid to be there and dance from you, how do you possibly talk to regular women.
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  approach them on stage and tell them you would like their company. or approach them when they are alone on the floor. it's not creepy or rude. but after the initial approach letting them know you're interested, the balls in their court.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  if she is on her phone... approach her.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  and if she is with another stripper. you sometimes need to be the icebreaker. shit. i've even given 'eyes' to an interesting girl while she was hanging with another pl. it works most the time.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  I don't think there's a right or wrong. I typically favor catching her at stage, and when she comes to pick up her tips, tell her, "if you're not with another customer right now, I'm sitting at that table over there, come hang out" or whatever.
• houjack

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  7 years ago

  I don't think there's a wrong way. I assume the usual method is a tip while she's on stage. Make sure to express you interest verbally to see her after she's done though, some guys only stage tip, she needs to know your interested. I've approached all kinds of situations, just like normal chicks, except these girls are more receptive as they have a chance at money. Alone on phone, with other strippers, wandering around, whatever, it's all been good. The only thing I haven't done is when she's sitting with another PL, but only for consideration of the customer, I'd hate some fuck interrupting me, so I don't do it. If really interested, get a staff member to express your interest if she's occupied. Staff members talking to girls with customers is normal as it could be work related. Who knows, maybe she's with a no pay idiot and may be over sooner than you think.
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  @justme I used to do that eye stuff all the time. It never worked once. Even raised a glass and all i got was a smile. Tipping only works IMO if you're the only one who wants her to come over. Otherwise old people always win.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  I don't even know what to make of your OP. What are you doing in a strip club if you never approach dancers? If she's talking to another dancer just walk up to her, touch her lightly on the shoulder, and say, "Excuse me for interrupting, but when you have time I'd like to request some dances." Why would she say no or get offended? That's why she's there.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  PS Making eye contact works just fine for me. Generally if I give a dancer a steady look she will come right over.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  WTF - how can it be difficult to approach a stripper in a strip-club - how can it be hard to convince her to take your $$$ - is pretty-much the same-thing as asking the waitress for a drink. One just needs to decide if it's better ro go home w/o getting with the dancer(s) one wants or make one's own luck. How to ask her? How about just going up to her and asking her "you wanna do some dances" or "would gou like to have a drink at ny table". Is not as if you're trying to pick up a chick at a regular-bar.
• Cowboy12

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  7 years ago

  Making eye contact with a dancer almost always gets them to your table. Only time it does not work is if they are already with another PL, but even so, they often walk by after their stage set and say they'll see me in a little while.
• lopaw

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  7 years ago

  Lol you saw me peeking out from behind the curtains, eh? ;) For me approaching a dancer is a crap shoot. I've been lucky so far that it has always worked out, but I generally don't do it all that often anymore. I approached them when they were alone or talking to another stripper. I didn't come up from behind them but maneuvered in a way to approach them so that they could see me and made eye contact as I got closer. Once I used another dancer who was sitting with me to go get the dancer that I wanted from the DR. Asking (and tipping) a waitress to go get a dancer works well , especially if the waitress knows you as a regular or if you tip her enough. As a lady customer I have had plenty of guys approach a dancer when she was sitting with me. They don't realize that I am a customer, and I only get pissed if the dancer decides to get up and go with the guy. Then she'll never get another cent out of me. It happened once where the dancer excused herself to go dance for the guy who came over to us and interrupted us, and she must have assumed that I would be sitting there waiting for her to come back. Yeah, right. She came back and I already had another girl with me. When I was done with the new girl she tried to come and talk to me but I ignored her and walked right past her, leaving her slack jawed. Dumb bitch. I hope she learned to never do that to anybody ever again.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  Just ask
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  Or do like Juice and throw an empty beer-can at her to get her attention
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  "Making eye contact with a dancer almost always gets them to your table." My experience has been the oppsite. Any eye contact will attract unwanted dancers. The ones I usually want, I have to be direct. Because they don't approach based on eye contact alone.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  If what you are doing isn't working you need to change it up, remember if you always do what you always done, you always get what you always got.
• a21985

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  7 years ago

  Any girl who I am to bring to the VIP has to "audition" for me in at least one stage set. If I approve from there, I approach through stage tips of an amount that will let her know I'm interested. Haven't really had a need to get a dancer's attention any other way.
• wallanon

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  7 years ago

  Lots of ways to approach, but I rarely will touch a dancer unless she's expecting it and seems ok with it. I would vote for you're shooting yourself in the foot by not approaching a dancer. Strippers are there to make money. All you're doing by approaching is giving her a chance to make money. She can take a pass on it. Some of the hottest dancers I've seen are shy about approaching guys because they're concerned about being embarrassed by rejection.
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  "concerned about being embarrassed by rejection." or, maybe one in the same, they don't want to risk rejection because they don't have to if they are hot enough to do well w/o approaching.
• Corvus

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  7 years ago

  I usually do not approach dancers but will if I feel I need to. Eye contact or stage tipping while letting her know you want to spend time with her works fine most of the time. Sitting in a spot the girls travel by helps too. And waitresses are a good resource as mentioned above. The most memorable time I approached a dancer turned out wonderfully for me, and her. I had just arrived at a club and was standing at the bar surveying the situation. Beautiful Latina on stage, club about half full, music blasting away. Then she walked by. A certifiable goddess. She walked over to an empty table and sat down. With 30 seconds I was asking her if I could join her. It was the​ start of a great evening and a four year relationship, mostly OTC. I just ended it last fall but it sure was fun while it lasted. I never hesitate to approach a girl if I feel I need to. Thankfully, I usually don't need to.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  so many beauties. so many opportunities. use them all. GET HER ATTENTION. however. :)
• s275ironman

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  7 years ago

  I was not expecting so many responses to say it is OK for the customer to approach the dancer, but if that is the only way to get her attention then there is nothing wrong with doing that. I've always had the view that it is the dancer's job to approach the customer and not the other way around. If she wants to make money, she has to work for it. I've never appraoched a dancer to ask for dances, but then again, I've never really had to. I know I have missed out on 1 or 2 I would've really wanted to get dances with, but that is no big loss to me. Over the years, I have consistenly been approached by close to half of the dancers working on any given night, and most of the time I get approached by the hottest ones there. One thing other posters have mentioned is tipping her big when she is on stage. I have actually tried this before and it worked...to the point that I instantly became her #1 choice to approach for a dance. It is true what they say, sometimes these girls are shy and won't approach unless they are certain they won't face rejection. Tipping her big on stage is a good way to assure her she won't be rejected.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  I'm really surprised, actually shocked, by the number of guys who expect or even want dancers to approach them. The biggest complaint I have about strip clubs is that the women are too aggressive. At least that's my experience. I get approached by dancers a lot, all the time, to the point where it is a huge pain in the ass to have to keep saying no and sending them away. My attitude is exactly the opposite. I feel that it is the dancer's job to make herself attractive, and if I'm interested I'll approach her.
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  I guess some people don't know but I have gone to clubs with exclusive rule of only to be approached, I won't approach others as I felt that it gives the dancer more control to set the terms. So me doing the asking is something new that's all.
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  @anolove usually you already do that in night clubs don't you?
• goosman

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  7 years ago

  I hate doing it, but if you are determined to find out what it's like, sometimes you have to. Sometimes it's been brilliant (©4got2wipe) and sometimes it's been terrible. But I didn't leave the club wondering what she was like.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  Not all clubs are the same - if you're in a club w/ 10 dancers and 20-customers is gonna be a much different environment than Tootsies Miami which can have 100-dancers on a peak night and hundreds of customers
• sclvr5005

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  7 years ago

  I'm not a huge fan of approaching dancers, but if I'm that intrigued I'd rather hit her up then wonder for the rest of my life what I might have missed.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  I think a21985 has the right attitude. ideally i want a dancer to audition for me on stage. I do not want her to approach me without any encouragement. the first is her working for it. the second is her trying to hustle me. two completely different things. @estafador - you're making this way too complicated. set what terms? it's a strip club, everything is standardized. you're not asking her to marry you and bear your children. you're asking her for a dance. the attitude you should have is that you're giving her a chance to audition for you and sell herself to you, and if you don't like her you can immediately send her away. if you walk into a club with $100 for dances, why wouldn't you choose to spend it on a girl or girls that you think are hot, instead of just the first girl that approaches you? what is the worst thing that can happen? she gives you a lousy dance, you send her away, and you move on to your 2nd choice. and yeah, it's the same in regular clubs or anywhere else. you're the guy, it's up to you to approach and make things happen. if a girl says no then she wasn't the right one, but if you keep putting yourself out there and meeting people eventually you'll figure out what you want and meet someone who is right
• sharkhunter

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  7 years ago

  I expect dancers will approach me in strip clubs. That's normal for me. In many clubs, just looking at a dancer will get her attention unless she has better things to do. I.e. Some guy tipped her a twenty on stage or her regular is waiting or she has something else she feels a need to do. If looking at her doesnt get her attention, you can escalate things by tipping her on stage. Many dancers have a brain. I did visit one club where I found out dancers were told don't ask the customer for dances unless they ask you first. I still think that was strange.
• stripfighter

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  7 years ago

  I go after what I want. As far as it being right, the rule is you're allowed to interrupt them as long as you're adding value IE cash is king.
• gunrack

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  7 years ago

  I will only approach a girl for a dance if she is my favorite dancer. Besides that I won't. I don't want force myself to spend unnecessarily. I rarely have that issue.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  Buying dances is a chump's game. Dancers of course want money. All kinds of excuses you can make for handing a girl money. Better to talk to her, and as possible initiate feeling up and GFE. SJG
• Ch3ll

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  7 years ago

  I think you are cutting yourself short of some experiences. I can specifically recall 4 strippers I approached and each turned out to give some of the best lap dances I've had. Two of those were GFE and the other two high mileage. When I first started SCing I felt similar on the thought I shouldn't have to approach them. Slow nights and not having got any dances is what made me ask. And now I know asking may turn out to be a good experience. A far as asking, I won't interrupt if she's talking to another stripper, but I'll stop her in passing and/or approach her if she's alone. As someone mentioned asking a bouncer, waitress, or fellow stripper works too but then you're tipping if you're nice.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  Approaching the girl yourself, letting her see that you are selecting her, is always good. It can be just sitting at her stage. But you want to wait until she is on the stage and in action, before you approach and sit down. You want her to see that you are responding to her. But buying dances is for chumps. SJG Gnostic Mass [view link] [view link] Eugen Grosche, occultist, huge contribution to sex magik. [view link] Lots of books, but not in libraries or Amazon. What I can find as used books seem to be in German. Large influence behind Kenneth Grant, but his books are also hard to come by. [view link] also known as Gregor A. Gregorius, but still available books only used and in German: [view link] [view link] Gnostic Mass Video, Shining Star, Atlanta Georgia, James and Nancy Wasserman [view link]
• ppwh

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  7 years ago

  On my last visit, sustained eye contact as she was walking by got her next to me for a few dances. I suggested a a break so I could eat, and she hadn't returned after an hour, so I walked over to the other side of the club and motioned her over when she was free. Asked when she would be in next and got her number which turned out to be a very good decision the next day. .
• georgmicrodong

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  7 years ago

  I never hesitate to approach the dancers if there's one I like who isn't noticing me. If she's not interested after I specifically invite her, I'll leave her be, but if she's just hanging or working the stage, I'll go up and talk to her. The mid thirties MILF I see periodically would never have approached me. She told me so; said I wasn't the type with whom she usually clicks. A couple years later, and we're meeting for sex every couple of months. That's the kind of thing that makes me never even hesitate to approach.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  ^^^^^ That's the way! You want the girl to see that you are not afraid of rejection, and that you really want her over the others. Just looking at them but not acting can make them leery about you. SJG Mexico City! [view link]
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  ^^^^^^ great! SJG
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  in our ideal club world the pretty girls would approach us customers and playfully tease us with their sexy ways and enticing looks. but as we know that doesn't happen enough. a girl may hang in the dressing room, sit in a booth or by the fireplace or chair and play with her phone... so you need to approach her when you see that she is not approaching you. tipping on the stage should work but it doesn't allways. in tj i quickly learned you gotta approach her sometimes before another customer or mesaro does.
• rockstar666

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  7 years ago

  I very, very rarely approach a new dancer. She has to be exceptional, and I have to be available. I never buy dances from anyone but my CF when she's working. The last time I did approach a dancer was because she was the hottest dancer I ever saw in my life, just my type as well, and it was a packed Sat. night so hot girls were at a premium. I had a drool spot from watching her for an hour as she was busy with lots of other PL's. Finally she drifted by me and I looked her in the eye and said hi. She gave me a smile and said her name which I didn't catch, so I said, "It's too loud in here, let's go to VIP!". Easiest sale she ever made. But the joke was on me because her dances were quite lame. Oh well.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  -->"She gave me a smile and said her name which I didn't catch, so I said, "It's too loud in here, let's go to VIP!". Easiest sale she ever made. But the joke was on me because her dances were quite lame. Oh well." Rock -- ironically, I'd say this story belongs solidly in the "how do you know someone is a SC newbie" thread. Spend VIP money just because you fell in puppy love watching her wander around? Goes to prove even we old hands can get caught up in hormones and poor decisions, despite ourselves.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  guilty.
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  @anonlvone honestly I can make an argument and give examples against your claims but that would take away from the conversation at hand. @Ch3ll that's exactly why I'm trying to do this the best way possible. Even if my initial misgivings are right still wanna say I tried. @rockstar lol come on bro, you been here too long for that