Strippershit paradox double-blind mind fuck
gammanu95
My casual drinking is your alcohol poisoning.
Stopped by Babes on the way home last night. Average night, nothing special to review, but I did have an interesting convo with a dancer I'd done lappers with on other visits. She said she wished she could make guys understand that just because we pay them to care about us, doesn't mean they don't care about us just because we pay them. And she agreed that she doesnt care about the guys that dont tip her of get dances. She could not for the life of her see the fallacy in her own logic. I tried to explain it every which way I could; but I think she had settled on that as a way to rationalize some morality into being a stripper. Maybe some "hooker with a heart of gold" superego fantasy. She started becoming rather upset when I refused to acknowledge or accept her arguments. I left before things escalated, but what a weird visit.
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34 comments
I think they see it as the compensation for not being married.
All in all, not a bad set up.
SJG
Add to that many strippers are young, not highly educated, and not a lot of life-experience.
Most of us have found out it's easiest to pretend we care what they think just like they pretend to care what we think.
Might not be mature enough for it to work well. I have seen this.
SJG
SJG
Don't try to figure these girls out dude. Just be kind and friendly and you'll be able to weather whatever emotional moments you need to. Over the years I've had to say and do any number of things to comfort girls who were struggling with a variety of emotional issues. The only way you can get "mind-fucked" by it is if you let yourself get emotionally invested, which is a bad idea for any number of reasons.
"Listen. Understand. That Terminator is out there. It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with...it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear...and it absolutely will not stop.Ever. Until you are broke."
The fact that I've become a reg at a club and is not loose with one's money but have it so any chosen chick will feel special.
I had to snap on one yesterday. Called me her friend, told her she's not my friend, called me a hostile drunk because of it. She gave me a horrible unforgivable OTC experience plus i saw her without make-up. Disappointing.
The stripper version of this: I became really tight with a popular stripper here (very weird relationship -- I never spent a dime on her or did even a lap dance with her, but did often send my buddies to her). When she retired, she told me "I'm going to cut myself off from this business, stop contact with all my stripper friends and most of my customers, and just stay close to 3-4 of my favorite customers who I really like". A couple of months later she and I go out for drinks and I ask her how it's going -- and she's stopped all contact with everyone, even her 3-4 fave customers who she'd planned to stay in touch with. Why? "You know, I really thought I liked those guys. But I see now I mistook my gratitude for their generosity, for real affection. Now that they're not paying me, I finally realized we don't have anything in common and I don't like them that much." Here, I'll put that statement by itself for dramatic effect:
"You know, I really thought I liked those guys. But I see now I mistook my gratitude for their generosity, for real affection. Now that they're not paying me, I finally realized we don't have anything in common and I don't like them that much."
So there you go --- to me, that is exactly the stripper version of the confusion PLs feel when they confuse lust for love. It happens to even smart PLs, who should know better and who should be able to see the ridiculousness of it. Of course it happens to strippers too... that's why that stripper can't see why her view isn't internally consistent; she REALLY BELIEVES she likes her customers, in that sense it's not a lie. She's just mistaking "favorite customer" feelings for "really like him" feelings.
Anyway, to finish the story off: as a serial ATFer, I end up in the "favorite customer" lists of many of my ATFs, and often they tell me, un-asked, that they want to stay in touch after their retirement. I'm still in touch with a good number of them even years after retirement, but another good number of them eventually fade away, even if they stay in touch for a few weeks/months. I don't necessarily think this is always a case of "stripper telling PL she wants to stay in touch, purely as hustle, to convince him to keep spending". I think it's just as likely the stripper believes what she's saying at the time, but once the money flow dries up, she realizes she doesn't like me as much as she thought -- just like the story above -- and moves on. I feel this kind of confusion about fave-customer/really-like-him may be just as common in strippers as PL lust/love confusion.
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ROFL. Does anyone know what this sentence means? I'm sure the meaning is very "impactful."
Such a deep an meaningful thread. Hate to break it to you, but most dancers prey on lonely guys to make money.
Absolutely true, although perhaps easier said than done, especially if you're not a grizzled veteran. Look at Dlee's response just below yours -- there's no way that exchange, if it really happened, isn't reflective of too much emotional investment. This same sub-theme runs through the "it's just a fantasy" thread, too -- transactions in a strip club are only fantasy-based to those who are too emotionally invested; all the physical and financial stuff is actually happening, no fantasy involved.
I'm not sure about the MILF. Oh sure, she likes me well enough (well enough to fuck me without asking me to pay her, at any rate), but I suspect she really only likes me for my tongue and the fact that I'm not demanding or demeaning. I honestly don't know what will happen after she's done stripping.
Based on previous PL experience, I'm smart enough now to not allow a lot of "mission creep". It's a bit of a balancing act. I don't want the relationship to be purely transactional, but I also don't want any of my dancers disillusioned that I'm a true-blue friend, savior, or doormat.
But, I don't believe that wanting / having a more professional relationship (with strippers or anyone) excludes the ability to care about a person. I guess it's a human thing.
But I assume that like most business relationships, the relationship ends once the business ends - 99% of the time once we we're not spending on a dancer for w/e reason, she will no longer treat you the same way nor "have the same feelings" for you and will likely just toss you aside to make room for the other $pecial custies - and likewise PLs will usually not feel a dancer is "as special" if she for w/e reason stops putting-out or puts on 50-pounds - it's a "what have you done for me lately" "relationship" - it *is* transactional with a little emotion thrown on topbut 99% transactional IMO, it's all good while both parties are getting what they want - sorta like druggies which are super-cool with each other when there's plenty of drugs around but turn on each other when there are no drugs or very little to go around.
My discontent is the piss poor experience at a hotel room.
To come at me like it didn't happen is a try on my intelligence.
I find it insulting like I'm an easy mark or lame to the game. If I am giving legal tender then I want what I want. We all they right to refusal. I have a beautiful lady but we don't live together and I have plenty of down time after work.
I don't see why it should be so hard for guys to keep their perspective. Plenty do. Yet this site seems to draw it's fair share of closet romantics and they almost always pay a steep price for that weakness.
Conversely, strippers are generally far younger than their customers and many have emotional issues stemming from tough childhoods. Expecting an unbalanced 22 year old girl to be able to control herself the same way that a 50 year old man should be able to do is unrealistic.
Net-net, it is a far greater sin for an older dude to lose his mind than it is a young stripper. Customers usually have age, income and other advantages that make that kind of behavior much less excusable and, at least for me, less understandable.
We are all pathetic - just in different ways and perhaps to different degrees; but mostly just in different ways - we each have our weaknesses - let the TUSCLer w/o PLness/patheticness cast the first PL stone.
Anyway, end rant.