Not in love but on the hook.... got advice?

Got to decide what you want, otherwise the women will decide for you. Can't treat 'strippers' differently from other women.

SJG

-->" Even if we met on what claims to be a dating site"

WYP is a sex industry site, and she's a sex worker, just like all SBs on Seeking Arrangements, even if we're not supposed to be obvious about that. You seem to know that already, but it always bears repeating :)

I can't tell quite exactly what you want... I do think that her being above-board about not being terribly interested beyond your sexworker/client relationship is a kindness in a way, better that than her pretending to like you and you falling for it. You should definitely stop trying to build a relationship that isn't going to happen, or worse yet, that she dislikes but is acting out for you. What I'd do is enjoy her for what she is, be thankful she's forthright with how she feels, and keep looking for a woman who'll give you a bit more (keeping in mind that your desire for this may end up being self-destructive)

You met through WYP. You are in a SD/SB relationship. I assume you pay her. You are not getting the service you want. tell her exactly what you expect. You don't pay if you don't get what you want. You expect her to stay the night and wear those sexy outfits.

"Friendship" is a slippery slope. Your girl sound a lot like my current sugar baby. She's not distant, detached or disinterested, but we're there to get something done, and we do it. It's not a "cum and go" situation, but it's definitely not a GFE thing, either.

I'm digging it, and she's happy with it as well.

It sounds like your time together is nice, but she is doing the bare minimum when you are not together, as far as texting and communicating. The communication is strictly business, just to set up appointments and it sounds like you want more than that.

Based on the fact that you don't know her real name, it seems like she wants to keep it strictly business and the way it is. Nothing wrong with that, as long as your time togethet is good.

However, if you want more, there's no harm in shopping around for a better SB, while you continue to see her. I've found there's a lot of gray area with SB's and the experience can be completely different from one girl to the next. Most of the SB's I've been with have given me their real name and life story. I think you may find a better situation, but if not, appreciate the one you are in.

Good luck.

My ATF and I have had a relationship for about 7 years. She's been using heroin on and off through all those years. One time when she was getting high all the time I went to her apartment. She had a female roommate who I'd never met and when I got there they were both sitting around high looking like an unmade bed. The good news was that it turned into a 3 way, but when we finished my ATF took a shower, put on a very sexy sheath dress, put on make-up, did her hair up and we took off for a one hour trip to a friend's house where she was going to stay. She asked me to go a longer way than I planned and said she needed to get something. She directed me and when we got to her mysterious destination, she asked me drop her off and to come back in 20 or 25 minutes. I returned in 25 and waited. I called her number - no answer. Finally after she'd been there 40 minutes she came out. I learned after questioning and pushing and asking that she'd gone to blow and fuck a drug dealer for $300 worth of heroin. I had paid her $400 and she looked like hell. I was regular income. I got so pissed at her that she started crying and told me the dealer was a 400 lb guy with a belly so big that he had to lift it out of the way so she could find his little Dick. She didn't understand my anger since she reasoned, the drug dealer had his pick of women. Girls were throwing themselves at the guy for drugs and he had his choice & that's why she got all dressed up for him. I said, so what am I? A piece of shit? I didn't return her texts or calls for two weeks and when we finally talked again, I told her that the amount of money I was paying her gave me the pick of any number of other women. If she wanted to keep seeing me here are my expectations: and I held her to it.

The response from @K is spot on in my opinion.

Wow Gawker. I would have been pissed too. Good for you for telling her off in that situation. When they start taking you for granted, I think it's important to stand up for yourself like that. Either that or cut bait. I guess it depends on how much you like the girl and whether you want to make it work or not.

@subraman: You are correct, I am well aware of what type of site WYP is. You are also right that it is better than I had my realization now instead of after any significant sum had been spent. What do I want? Well, based on what I already have with her, all I'd really just like a little more involvement/attention from her outside of our physical time together. I'll admit it, I'm lonely - why else would I be doing this? I would happily forego the outfits and crazy sex for 5-10 minutes of texting a few times a week. But if that's not in the cards (and I brought this up in a roundabout way and it's not, she claims she's just not the texting type), I agree; I need to just enjoy what we have and keep looking to see if I can find something even better.

@K: Yes, there are "gifts" invovled with any time we spend together. In most cases, I don't care if she spends the night but this time was a different type of trip in that it was specifically to see her and we had talked about it and I was willing to cover her costs for doing so. While I've certainly mentioned the outifts and all, in trying to be a "nice guy", I haven't pushed because I was trying not to be "another customer". Since it seems that I am (and not just because of the nature of our relationship, but from some of the new stories she told me at our last date) then I've got nothing to lose.

@georgmicrodong: I am truely happy for you. When we are together, I would say she is a bit distant (which leads to my complaint), but definitely engaged and interested. We talk a lot and there is a lot of just enjoying each other's company - at least for me, but she seems to enjoy it as well. She almost never checks her phone so maybe she really is one of the few millenials that doesn't have to be texting constantly. She said she is happy with the arrangement so I am going to try to be more satisfied with it as well. I think if I were still traveling to her area regularly, I would be less unhappy as I could see her more often. Until I get moved for the new job, it's once every 2-3 weeks instead of weekly. That's a big part of why I don't want to upset things, because it will be a great situation once I am local to her again.

@ClearHeelsHotAssCantLose: You nailed it. I should have said I don't know her real last name, or I don't think I do (pretty sure I don't, records searches don't find any matches and while she seemed to almost slip up once I think it's like my pseudonym, close to her real last name so it's easy to cover up in a slip like that). I do know her real first and middle names (she goes by her middle name), her dancer name, as well as her Facebook name although I haven't friended her because she specifically said she doesn't want to know my real last name. I have a Facebook for my pseudonym so I was thinking I might message her through that and see if she is willing to friend me or not. The more I talk about this, the more I realize I have a pretty good thing going but like I said above, I'm lonely so I will continue to see what else I can find. I had one other meet through WYP and she was nice, but nowhere near as hot as this first one (who I was already seeing). The second was early 20s but after meeting in person, the pictures were clearly from during/early college - she had put on some weight and just couldn't compare to the 100lb spinner. She did tell me where she worked (security clearance job) and her real name, but the connection and attraction weren't there - I don't think she even read my profile before the date. Just like with that one, there's no reason to stop seeing the current one while I look for someone that better matches what I am looking for and being new to this, her experience has made a lot of the initial awkwardness easier so I feel more confident in dealing with the girls during my search.

Thanks to all for the comments, I appreciate the advice and putting words down has been cathartic and helped me work through it some more on my own as well. Any further advice is still appreciated!

^ More sweetness and light from our own little ray of sunshine :)

I try not to feed the trolls and looking at his comment history, that's all he is. No need to justify the fact that I have another account with plenty of reviews on it and just wanted some anonymity for this post.

For those that responded with real advice, I am appreciative.