Addictions are stronger than love

So you're saying she's a drug-user and thus her OTCing vs just doing it to have $$$, or are u assuming she does it for drug $$$?

A lot of people cheat and jump thru all sorts of hoops to do it, it's probably as old as humanity itself - w.r.t. dealing with strippers, strip clubs are a seedy business and to expect to have rosey relationships is naive - strip clubs are bizarro world and one should not expect the same results as when dealing in the real-world - basically garbage-in garbage-out

Love is strange, but an addiction is not real love

Addiction is different than a need for money. Economic necessity--a need for money--affects everybody. Dancers usually have limited options for making money, and can make the best money by taking off their clothes and having sex for money ITC or OTC. What strippers do is not necessarily in opposition to love. The stripper's OTC activities may be supporting the boyfriend or children she loves.

Papi, yeah, she's a drug user and I think her OTC'ing is only for drug money, not living expenses. Like most addicts, she would get desperate when she ran out of drugs. She'd text me, I'd meet her, and then she'd go straight to her dealer afterward.

I have another OTC in place, so it was easy to end it. I'm sure it will be easy for her to replace me too.

I guess it just surprises me that she seems to really love her boyfriend, but has no problem lying to him and sleeping with guys behind his back. I think her drug addiction must be stronger than her love for him.

jackslash: valid points. In this situation, the guy has a job and she has no kids. The guy found out she was OTC'ing in the past and demanded she stop. She cut back, but still did some, just more secretively. Not to pay the rent, but to get her fix when her supply ran out.

A lot of people lie, it's part of the human condition, IDK why you are so surprised by it - women hide their shopping expenses from their husbands and husbands hide banging a chick from their workplace - it sounds as if you may be the BF being lied to

Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by it. I hardly lie though, so I've never understood how people can lie so often, without a guilty conscience.

Haha. Nope, I'm not the boyfriend. Just the guy tired of running around with this girl, behind the boyfriend's back. Doesn't feel right to me.

The strip club world and the real-world are 2 different universes, if you expect for both to function similarly then there's a lot you have not learned about strip club world

i.e. strip clubs are mostly dysfunctional environments usually filled w/ dysfunctional people, crazy shit is actually the norm, what you are experiencing is nothing out of the norm - drama and strip-clubs/strippers go together like summer and icecream

I'm probably an expert in dealing with heroin addicted strippers. My atf who I met 8 years ago has been an addict for 15 years. She's now 31 and when I met her, her addict BF was in prison. When he got out, I met him when I paid to watch them fuck for an hour. He's a roofer and a rugged individual and while he knew she was meeting me OTC, she told him I was just a voyeur and met at hotels because my job required that I not go to her club. He was benefitting from the money and drugs she was buying for both of them. They have a child ( now 11 and being raised by his grandmother. Through her I've met dozens of other heroin addicts and none of them like their life of working, stealing, cheating to earn enough to support the habit. My atf says the addiction is stronger than she is and to this point that's been true. I've talen her to detox literally dozens of times ( 3-5 days to get the drugs out of the system and usually substitute a legal narcotic - methadone or syboxin) sometimes after detox she'll go to CSS which is 20-30 days of sobriety - sometimes on methadone; other times without. Like prisons, there's a drug trade in these "secure" facilities and many patients use bentos. ( like xanax) or gabapentine (jonnies) a mild pain killer. Most insurance pays for it to this point and the detox and CSS include individual and group counseling and usally participation in a 12 step program.
My ATF's BF is no fool and figured out that I was fucking her more than he was and he called me on it. I said she was the one making choices and he'd be better off talking with her. I also reminded him that assaulting an elderly person, like me, is a felony which would send him back to prison.
Through the years he and I got to know each other and I even delivered cigarettes to him when he was in detox. He finally beat his addiction and broke up with my ATF who used that as an excuse to go on a bender.
She has now been sober about a month and is coming back to this area and going back to stripping which I think will lead her to drugs again. She has overdosed several times; has a $200 to $300 habit per day when using. During her last bender she was working 5 nights a week and making about $1000 a night, mainly sucking dick. She hates herself when she's like that which leads to depression and more drug use. Her arm veins are a mess and she frequently needs a vein in a leg or her neck. She knows if she can't beat it she'll eventually kill herself.
For the first 5 years I knew I was enabling her drug use and rationalized it by thinking if not me it'll be someone else. Then I stopped paying her cash and paid rent, phone, other bills. Her step-mother convinced me that I was still enabling because that allowed her to spend her earnings on drugs. So now, she's just a friend - no more OTC; no more money. She's sober and wants to stay that way. Time will tell. My relationship has gone from being her John to almost avcting like a parent. She's a needy person, who's not had a lot of breaks. Whether you look at addiction as a disease or as a character flaw, it's a destructive all encompassing condition which destroys.

Extremely interesting. Thanks for sharing Gawker. That addiction sounds both scary and sad. At that level, it does indeed sound like a disease.

He's her pimp, not her boyfriend. She's not hiding from him, she's hiding the truth from you.

Rong. I know their real names and identities. The guy has a vanilla 40 hour week job and I know where he works. They are like a Barbie and Ken couple on Facebook. I've heard the poor guy crying and pleading with her to come home once on the phone when we were together. I don't want to be involved with that anymore.

Good guess though.

@Gawker- you paid to watch your ATF and her BF fuck??? Why??

^^^ Larry, shut the fuck up.

Sleep - welcome here...

So this OTC friend, her boyfriend knows she strips correct? He's niaive to believe she doesn't do more than just strip at her job. Something we always talk about here.

I agree with Shailynn

First, STFU Larry you douche.

Second, while stripping does not necessarily mean that a girl does more, she has put herself on that proverbial slippery slope. If you are going to have a relationship with a stripper you should have an understanding of the influences she will be subjected to even if she doesn't intend to expand her limits.

I don't know what "sleepwalking" is talking about. My ATF's BF has a new 20 year old non-addict GF. He's been living in a sober house for about 8 months and has a court order keeping him away from his son. I've known my ATF's mother for years and she knows what my relationship with her daughter is based upon.
I recently had a phone conversation with her father and it was awkward at best, but I wanted to reassure him that my intentions with his daughter were in her best interests. He is an addict in recovery and just published a book about his reasoning on how to go from addiction to success. He now owns a franchise business and is doing quite well. Her brother is an addict in recovery and recently posted his story on FB; going from years of drugs, criminal behavior , and incarceration to self employment and a middle class family life.
Frankly I'm not expecting to ever bed my ATF again. I'm not giving her money, wish to be supportive, but know that her whoring drags her down and contributes to her susceptibility to relapse.
It took me a long time to realize that you can't "help" someone to quit using. They have to do it themselves.

Love is very dangerous. Lots of these girls practice P4P to protect themselves. Doing P4P can be an addiction, and for either side.

Very good:
https://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Las-Vegas…

SJG

Sounds like your intent to just be a friend (but not a client) of your ATF is the best thing to do gawker.

Your crazy stories are the best! They're ace! ;)

I don't use drugs. I haven't used any since some minor experimentation in high school. Drugs have destroyed the lives of too many people I know. Despite my not using them, they have caused serious damage to my life.

@gawker
You are a stronger man than I am. More power to you. I don't think I could go through supporting a drug addict again. It drains you mentally, emotionally and physically. As you point out in your title, addiction is often stronger than love.

Minor correction- we need an edit function
As you point out in your title, addiction is often stronger than love. should be "As is pointed out in the title..." since it wasn't gawker's title.