Did I do the right thing?

Just give her the tip already

the tip of your dick

up her ass

You are going to end up broke and standing corners at the stoplights, with a cardboard sign that says "will give legal advice for sex".

^^ lmao ^^

The conversation should have been, "So, a hundy for the laps and twenty for the tip makes $120. You owe me $60, I've got $40, guess I owe $20 next time."

Meh. I'd have no real criticism either way. The numbers aren't big enough to create strong feelings one way or another for me. But this is the type of shit that happens when you "loan" strippers money - it creates fucked up dynamics that eat into the entertainment value.

Next time, you should probably just evaluate a loan request as a gift request and move forward accordingly. If she is a fav, then in my opinion $60 was a small price to pay to appear generous and to try to work your OTC and other options with her, but to each his own. Now you just nickled and dimed her for a lousy $20, which she will no doubt remember.

Fuck her in the ass next time and don't tip her, tell her you are even and leave the bitch.

twentyfive - ace prediction!

JohnSmith69, is your fav the DS? I can't keep all of your girls straight!

Seriously though, my advice is to say "fuck it" and just give her $20 out of the blue. Don't connect it to the $60, which she has probably already forgotten about. Just be generous and see where that takes you. I bet it will be brilliant! ;)

Wow! rickdugan saying something non-d-baggy!

Seriously though, the d-bag has a point this time. Amounts less than $100 is in the "not worth thinking about it" zone. I think it would have been wise to have just given her the $60.

Now I just hope that rickdugan won't shift this back into the d-bag zone by finding some way to connect his statement with a hope that some poor girl backslides in her addiction. :(

This dancer's name is Tiny Tits. She's new.

25, maybe some of the marijuana is still left over from last night, but that's funny as fuck.

However, you guys need to understand that Tiny Tits is not a DS. She's cute, she makes me hard, she sucks good, but she's no DS. Thus, no DS prices. She won't break the bank no matter what we do. Stories to follow maybe.

Yeah 4Got, it is unusual for Ricky to be a non-d-bag. Doubt it'll last but you never know.

I think you did the right thing. It's a stand on principle and not what the amount of money means to you. I'm not going to second-guess what she was thinking when she called it a loan, but that she forgot all about the loan is inconsiderate beyond description. You tipped her $60 in advance, and she as smart enough to shut up about it when you reminded her.

Vince is right. It's all a business for these chicks. She's hoping you were so high you'd forget about it. The best ones that get the most money are the girls that manage to make you think it's not about the money. Love the GFE personally, even though I know better it's still fun. Paid my current girl $500, picking her up mid afternoon today, headed to the casino after some drinks to watch ziggy Marley's show then back to my place. She'll spend the night, we'll party and have a great time. I drop her off in the am. To me, that's worth the $500...

Previous thread where @Smith describes lending a stripper $1000:

tinyurl.com

Did she ever repay the loan?

^^ thread says "over" $1000

How many guys did she ask for money? Consider she may have asked multiple people and that's why she forgot. She also deals in getting money from guys on a daily basis, it probably all runs together.

Or it could be because she's a stripper and they forget things.

Regardless - I think it's just fine if you don't give her the money. I'm not a fan of dancers who ask for a tip. If they do a tip worthy job, I'll tip them.

I give dancers more leeway than I give other people, but I don't like when anyone asks for a tip. The fact that you just gave her $60 would make it worse.

I learned a long time ago that if you are concerned about getting the money back, then you cannot afford to loan the money in the first place.

You still paid her $100 for the dances. Not tipping her $20 and cancelling the loan was still generous of you. Don't give her the extra $20.

JS, I think if you made any mistake at all, it's that you handled the situation pretty passive-aggressively, which is the cause of so many problems for customers. You didn't say anything, just didn't tip her, and left her to try to puzzle out an interpretation? You're the "adult" here, as far as emotional maturity and the like. At minimum, what you owed her was a "hey, you owe me $60, you can just keep that as your tip" or whatever. That bit of silent passive aggressive non-tipping on your part is what led directly to everything that followed. Obviously, it would have been nice if you could depend on her -- also an adult, at least in age -- to have brought it up, since she's the one who owes the debt, but many of the girls are emotionally immature.

Beyond that, also agree with Rick that loans can fuck up the dynamics, and it's worth considering alternative strategies. He'd suggested just calling it a gift right from the beginning, which, given how little money it was, would have been fine. I might've said something like, "don't be crazy, no need to pay it back, just treat me extra special next time I see you"... and then just snagged a little extra great treatment from her.

I think if you made any mistake at all, it's that you handled the situation pretty passive-aggressively, which is the cause of so many problems in the club. You didn't say anything, just didn't tip her, and left her to try to puzzle out an interpretation? You're the "adult" here, as far as emotional maturity and the like. At minimum, what you owed her was a "hey, you owe me $60, you can just keep that as your tip" or whatever. That bit of passive aggressiveness on your part is what led directly to everything that followed

Subra, good thoughts thanks.

The $1,000 loan was to DS III. She paid back about $400 of it through discounts on services which is what we agreed to. But then I dumped her, mostly because I was pretty certain that she'd give me an std if we kept going. I understood that meant that the rest wouldn't be paid back.

I'd say you did it correct. It's not about the $20 tip she expected and didn't get, its not about the $60 she asked you to loan her when she meant give her, its not about the $40 difference between the two. It's about some sense of courtesy. Rick says you nickel and dimed her; I look at it the other way, she nickel and dimed you. I wouldn't write her off over it. But, it does drop her value to me, so skipping a tip now and again seems like a reasonable response. Mentioning the linkage between the two things helps establish cause/effect in her mind.

Either approach has risk. She could get bitter over it and service can drop off. Or, if you just continue to be a supply of money every time she asks she could start acting entitled and service can drop off. It's pretty much a crapshoot, so I'd say trust your instincts.

JS posted: "Yeah 4Got, it is unusual for Ricky to be a non-d-bag. Doubt it'll last but you never know."

LOL. I didn't see 4got2think's comments, but if troll affirmations make you feel better then go yee forth and all that. I guess my d-bag-ness disappeared from your threads around the same time that those painful 500 word essays romanticizing stripper pussy did. Also, have no doubt that I would have posted ample shit about making her earn it if the amount was much higher than $60, but that number just didn't get the juices flowing.

Am I back in character now? ;)

Yeah Rick you're an asshole again. Order has been restored.

I have given many loans to strippers--always small amounts ranging from $20 to $300. Have they ever paid me back? No.

Strippers consider loans to be gifts, and they will resent it if you ask them to pay you back.

JS69,

I won't tell you what you should have or should do. Each of us has our own values, resources, and definition of "fav", CF, ATF, etc., whatever.

As you said your "fav", what I would do with a fav is not give her the money in the first place. If she wised to earn it, another story.

Oh isn't the mind/memory of a stripper amazing!?!? When it's to THEIR advantage they have the memory of a super computer. When it's NOT to their advantage they have a memory leak and "forget". I think it's fine to have called it even. She's still up 40. But she won't look at it that way. She'll look at it as you being cheap on her and not tipping her that day!

If there's one thing that can be assured. Rick is a dbag.

Even when you try to be nice to him he shits on you. Meanwhile he's pumping is gorgeous kids while his wife fucks the mailman.

mrrock-->"Oh isn't the mind/memory of a stripper amazing!?!? When it's to THEIR advantage they have the memory of a super computer. "

Yeah, I was going to say in my reply, I think it's unlikely she forgot he lent her $60. But she thought he forgot, or just took the passive aggressive approach of ignoring it and asking for her usual tip ... which, again, happened because JS also took a passive aggressive approach. I do hold the girls to some basic standards, but realize I can't expect the same maturity from a stripper that I'd expect from a civilian woman of the same age, and being passive aggressive very very often backfires with strippers or causes other issues, as it did here.

"The same time that those painful 500 word essays romanticizing stripper pussy did. "

LOL! SLAM DUNKED THAT FAGGOT JOHNYBOY!

John, just adopt the poor girl and she can dance for you anytime for room and board.

Seriously though, I think Subraman nailed it.

"Afterwards when we are sitting in the dance area, she casually mentions do you want to tip me."

Instant turnoff for me. Would literally never hang with this dancer again.

John, I think how you handled it was just fine. It was a good way to find out how honest she would be.

Asking for a tip is a quick way to be crossed off my list for dances. I loaned a dancer $200 last year, with a promise of "extra good service" on my next visit....but it was a big let down.

Recently, one of my favorites was telling me about her troubles with her car and I handed $100. (did not even get dances from her on this particular visit) She hugged and kissed me...and always treats me very well. Those are the only times I gave strippers money for something other than dances/services.

Right or wrong isn't how I look at it. It's about what message you're sending. In this case it's appropriate in that it says she's on the rotation, but not a favorite. She gets a loan, but not a gift.

Intentional or not, you let her know where she stands. When a loan is a gift, she's a fave, when it's not, she's down the rung.

Loans to strippers aren't real loans. My ATF went to Hawaii several years ago. Her planned living arrangements fell through and she met & stayed with an Hawaiin family for a couple of weeks. I fronted her a $1000 to rent a place on the condition she get a job. She needed transportation so I sent her $500 to buy a used scooter. She crashed it and broke her ankle. I sent her rent and living money and when she returned she owed me $10,000. I agreed that I'd pay 1/2 price ($250/hr vs $500) she reduced it to about $6500 and said she couldn't do it anymore in that her other 2 regulars were paying $600 to $1000 an hour and she needed the money. I relented and told her $5000 was a gift. Years later when she had lost her other regulars and I stopped paying $500, she say how much can you afford. Sometimes I'd pay $200; sometimes nothing ( not often) we never kept tack but she probably knocked 1500 off, but it was more of a reflection of how our "relatioship" had changed.