Did I do the right thing?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
A few days ago a fav asked me for $60 for a specific need. She several times called it a loan. I know strippers well enough to recognize that it may very well end up being a gift, but I’m ok with that. I give her the money. I get no affection in return because she’s sick.
Fast forward a few days. I’m getting lap dances with the fav. They are high contact but no extras 5 songs for $100. Our usual practice is that I stage tip her, do these dances, and then sometimes do VIP for extras. She gets a $20 tip for the lap dances.
This time I don’t tip her. Afterwards when we are sitting in the dance area, she casually mentions do you want to tip me. I said let’s just say that I cancel the $60 loan that I gave you a few days ago. I’ll just give you that money and we’ll consider that $60 your tip. She said, “Oh Ok, I had forgotten about that money.”
At the time, I thought that I was being completely reasonable. She called it a loan, and me calling it off has $60 in value to her. That’s three times the usual tip. And I was a tiny bit pissed at her saying that she had forgotten about it. It was only a few days ago, and she just wants more, more, more.
But after the club visit I hung out with Mary Jane, and she makes me liberal. Not totally out to lunch wacko crazy liberal but liberal in the sense that I genuinely care about people in a way that goes beyond compassionate conservatism. And Mary Jane says that I need to consider whether I short changed that poor girl. If the stripper is to be believed (and right now, I believe about 60-70% of it), she’s in dire financial straights. And $20 is nothing to me really. So while she’s too polite to come right out and say it, I’m pretty sure that MJ thinks that I should apologize and give her the tip next time.
How does the discussion board vote? Her $20 tip hangs in the balance.
Fast forward a few days. I’m getting lap dances with the fav. They are high contact but no extras 5 songs for $100. Our usual practice is that I stage tip her, do these dances, and then sometimes do VIP for extras. She gets a $20 tip for the lap dances.
This time I don’t tip her. Afterwards when we are sitting in the dance area, she casually mentions do you want to tip me. I said let’s just say that I cancel the $60 loan that I gave you a few days ago. I’ll just give you that money and we’ll consider that $60 your tip. She said, “Oh Ok, I had forgotten about that money.”
At the time, I thought that I was being completely reasonable. She called it a loan, and me calling it off has $60 in value to her. That’s three times the usual tip. And I was a tiny bit pissed at her saying that she had forgotten about it. It was only a few days ago, and she just wants more, more, more.
But after the club visit I hung out with Mary Jane, and she makes me liberal. Not totally out to lunch wacko crazy liberal but liberal in the sense that I genuinely care about people in a way that goes beyond compassionate conservatism. And Mary Jane says that I need to consider whether I short changed that poor girl. If the stripper is to be believed (and right now, I believe about 60-70% of it), she’s in dire financial straights. And $20 is nothing to me really. So while she’s too polite to come right out and say it, I’m pretty sure that MJ thinks that I should apologize and give her the tip next time.
How does the discussion board vote? Her $20 tip hangs in the balance.
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32 comments
the tip of your dick
up her ass
The conversation should have been, "So, a hundy for the laps and twenty for the tip makes $120. You owe me $60, I've got $40, guess I owe $20 next time."
Next time, you should probably just evaluate a loan request as a gift request and move forward accordingly. If she is a fav, then in my opinion $60 was a small price to pay to appear generous and to try to work your OTC and other options with her, but to each his own. Now you just nickled and dimed her for a lousy $20, which she will no doubt remember.
JohnSmith69, is your fav the DS? I can't keep all of your girls straight!
Seriously though, my advice is to say "fuck it" and just give her $20 out of the blue. Don't connect it to the $60, which she has probably already forgotten about. Just be generous and see where that takes you. I bet it will be brilliant! ;)
Seriously though, the d-bag has a point this time. Amounts less than $100 is in the "not worth thinking about it" zone. I think it would have been wise to have just given her the $60.
Now I just hope that rickdugan won't shift this back into the d-bag zone by finding some way to connect his statement with a hope that some poor girl backslides in her addiction. :(
25, maybe some of the marijuana is still left over from last night, but that's funny as fuck.
However, you guys need to understand that Tiny Tits is not a DS. She's cute, she makes me hard, she sucks good, but she's no DS. Thus, no DS prices. She won't break the bank no matter what we do. Stories to follow maybe.
Yeah 4Got, it is unusual for Ricky to be a non-d-bag. Doubt it'll last but you never know.
http://tinyurl.com/z7ghxqn
Did she ever repay the loan?
Or it could be because she's a stripper and they forget things.
Regardless - I think it's just fine if you don't give her the money. I'm not a fan of dancers who ask for a tip. If they do a tip worthy job, I'll tip them.
Beyond that, also agree with Rick that loans can fuck up the dynamics, and it's worth considering alternative strategies. He'd suggested just calling it a gift right from the beginning, which, given how little money it was, would have been fine. I might've said something like, "don't be crazy, no need to pay it back, just treat me extra special next time I see you"... and then just snagged a little extra great treatment from her.
I think if you made any mistake at all, it's that you handled the situation pretty passive-aggressively, which is the cause of so many problems in the club. You didn't say anything, just didn't tip her, and left her to try to puzzle out an interpretation? You're the "adult" here, as far as emotional maturity and the like. At minimum, what you owed her was a "hey, you owe me $60, you can just keep that as your tip" or whatever. That bit of passive aggressiveness on your part is what led directly to everything that followed
The $1,000 loan was to DS III. She paid back about $400 of it through discounts on services which is what we agreed to. But then I dumped her, mostly because I was pretty certain that she'd give me an std if we kept going. I understood that meant that the rest wouldn't be paid back.
Either approach has risk. She could get bitter over it and service can drop off. Or, if you just continue to be a supply of money every time she asks she could start acting entitled and service can drop off. It's pretty much a crapshoot, so I'd say trust your instincts.
LOL. I didn't see 4got2think's comments, but if troll affirmations make you feel better then go yee forth and all that. I guess my d-bag-ness disappeared from your threads around the same time that those painful 500 word essays romanticizing stripper pussy did. Also, have no doubt that I would have posted ample shit about making her earn it if the amount was much higher than $60, but that number just didn't get the juices flowing.
Am I back in character now? ;)
Strippers consider loans to be gifts, and they will resent it if you ask them to pay you back.
I won't tell you what you should have or should do. Each of us has our own values, resources, and definition of "fav", CF, ATF, etc., whatever.
As you said your "fav", what I would do with a fav is not give her the money in the first place. If she wised to earn it, another story.
Even when you try to be nice to him he shits on you. Meanwhile he's pumping is gorgeous kids while his wife fucks the mailman.
Yeah, I was going to say in my reply, I think it's unlikely she forgot he lent her $60. But she thought he forgot, or just took the passive aggressive approach of ignoring it and asking for her usual tip ... which, again, happened because JS also took a passive aggressive approach. I do hold the girls to some basic standards, but realize I can't expect the same maturity from a stripper that I'd expect from a civilian woman of the same age, and being passive aggressive very very often backfires with strippers or causes other issues, as it did here.
LOL! SLAM DUNKED THAT FAGGOT JOHNYBOY!
Seriously though, I think Subraman nailed it.
Instant turnoff for me. Would literally never hang with this dancer again.
Asking for a tip is a quick way to be crossed off my list for dances.
I loaned a dancer $200 last year, with a promise of "extra good service" on my next visit....but it was a big let down.
Recently, one of my favorites was telling me about her troubles with her car and I handed $100. (did not even get dances from her on this particular visit)
She hugged and kissed me...and always treats me very well.
Those are the only times I gave strippers money for something other than dances/services.
Intentional or not, you let her know where she stands. When a loan is a gift, she's a fave, when it's not, she's down the rung.
I agreed that I'd pay 1/2 price ($250/hr vs $500) she reduced it to about $6500 and said she couldn't do it anymore in that her other 2 regulars were paying $600 to $1000 an hour and she needed the money.
I relented and told her $5000 was a gift. Years later when she had lost her other regulars and I stopped paying $500, she say how much can you afford. Sometimes I'd pay $200; sometimes nothing ( not often) we never kept tack but she probably knocked 1500 off, but it was more of a reflection of how our "relatioship" had changed.