They say to buy gold and silver in case the dollar collapses.........

You put it in sock, see it to knock people out and you take what you want. Simple.

*use not see, damn phone

Most places in 'da hood have a "we buy gold" place (aka modern pawn shop). I guess is the convenience store clerk will not accept your Krugerrand, then you know where to cash them in.

(I'm kidding because not only will you not get FMV for your gold & silver, but for small quantities (e.g., under $100 worth of gold) you get ripped off even further for service fees and charges. )

You can use it to get a new set of teeth

*** I never would of thought of that. You must see more gold teef than I do :)

Good to know that all of those doubloons that I've been stockpiling will come in handy!

I'm stocking up on top quality 2 ply toilet paper. It will be worth it's weight in gold when the end times come. They don't call it mountain money for nothing!

Short treasuries!

If you are serious, before buying or selling, check goldprice.org.

When I sell, I call ahead and ask what percentage of spot price they are paying. 91% - 93% of spot price is fair. Anything under 90% is a ripoff. Most jewelry stores or coin shops are the most fair.

"Cash for gold" places are to be avoided -- I went to one that offered 55% of spot price. I literally laughed in his face and told him "I'm not fencing stolen goods!" before walking out.

I've put all my money in stripper's g-strings.