abracadabra! you're a strip club owner, now. and i got 20 random questions for y

honorable question #21

is your SC bathroom's cleanliness on your radar or nah

lol

all i got to say is one thing i'd like to do as an owner, is see if i can either take a picture or have every dancer submit a picture or two of themselves, so i can look back 5-10 years from now and be like damn remember when amber used to work here? i'd keep a scrapbook of pics of every single employee dancer

1. would you like to be an owner of an upscale gentlemen's club or run of the mill 'hood strip club? UPSCALE AND CLASSY--LIKE ME

2. are you open 7 days a week 8 DAYS A WEEK

3. what would be your hours? you opening at 4pm or 9pm? you closing at 2am or what? OPEN AT NOON AND CLOSE AT 1AM (TO AVOID ALL THOSE 2AM SHOOTINGS)

4. there's a heated dispute between a new female dancer and a male patron you've never seen before. you don't know the story or beef. who do you side with. MALE PATRON BECAUSE BITCHES BE CRAZY

5. lucky you, your stable of dancers are only dimes and 10s. do you stay that way or do you believe in mixing it up with 4s, 5s and 6s? NOTHING BELOW A 7

6. who don't pay a cover at your club PLAYERS

7. your best friend's free spirited younger sister lives nearby and begs to dance at your club over and over on the low. your best friend doesn't do strip clubs and lives in another county. do you hire her? I FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

8. you've been an SC patron. now you're an owner. what would you do now as an owner to make your patron self proud of you BAN THE SHOT GIRLS

9. from a 1-10 scale where 1 sucks how professionally close would you be in general towards your employee dancers? 10--I WOULD TREAT THEM AS PROFESSIONALS AND FUCK THEM RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

10. how furnished is your joint? we talking flat screens everywhere, great sound system, or empty warehouse with fold up church chairs against the walls SUPER CLASSY

11. what's your dj playing THEY HAVE MUSIC IN STRIP CLUBS?

12. who's your right hand man or chick helping you run this joint JUICE

13. you a website, facebook posting owner or are you a paper flyers on windshields and mass texting come out to my club owner I'M ALL ABOUT THE INTERNET

14. how long you planning to hold this down 0-5 years, 5-10 years or 10+ years 1 MILLION YEARS

15. will you advertise on magazines or radio if given a chance FUCK THE DYING MEDIA

16. business is good. everyone's happy. things are great. you got money. you opening a second location or nah 3 LOCATIONS LIKE MY LOCAL HERO

17. as a decent experienced SC mongrel, would you generally be successful as an SC owner WHO YOU CALLING A MONGREL?

18. are your dancers racially diverse or nah DIVERSE. I HAVE LOVE ENOUGH FOR ALL RACES.

19. would you acknowledge bad reviews or peep reviews on tuscl about your club WHAT IS TUSCL?

20. your club is very popular so people always come out. but it's a snowing hard and your dancers don't all have rides. you closed for the night or for safety's sake or you open IT NEVER SNOWS WHERE I LIVE

21 is your SC bathroom's cleanliness on your radar or nah JUICE WILL BE BATHROOM TROLL

FUCK THE DYING MEDIA...RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

1. would you like to be an owner of an upscale gentlemen's club or run of the mill 'hood strip club?

Mid level

1. are you open 7 days a week

Sure

1. lucky you, your stable of dancers are only dimes and 10s. do you stay that way or do you believe in mixing it up with 4s, 5s and 6s?

No 4s, 5s or 6s but I would have 7s, 8s and 9s.

1. who don't pay a cover at your club

Da homies

1. what's your dj playing

Rap/hip hop and Maybe pop. Absolutely no country or techno.

1. are your dancers racially diverse or nah

Yes, even as possible.

is your SC bathroom's cleanliness on your radar or nah

Yes

1. would you like to be an owner of an upscale gentlemen's club or run of the mill 'hood strip club?

Upscale place.

1. are you open 7 days a week

7 days. Hours of operation would depend on how busy club gets.

1. there's a heated dispute between a new female dancer and a male patron you've never seen before. you don't know the story or beef. who do you side with.

I would side with dancer.

1. lucky you, your stable of dancers are only dimes and 10s. do you stay that way or do you believe in mixing it up with 4s, 5s and 6s?

Hell naw. No fuglies, grannies, fatties, skanks with too many tats, retarded bitches who can't even speak English, junkies. 8 and up.

1. who don't pay a cover at your club

Everybody does. Military gets discount. Women aren't allowed or if they are, they have to pay double admission. Btw, it's practiced pretty successfully in Russian strip-clubs.

1. your best friend's free spirited younger sister lives nearby and begs to dance at your club over and over on the low. your best friend doesn't do strip clubs and lives in another county. do you hire her?

Absolutely not.

I can't even come close to competing with jackslashs answers.

It's like Jackslash posted the archetypical Tuscl response and Dancer95 posted the dancer POV response. Well done

@jachslash: if you're going to be open "eight days a week", then you must be playing the Nestle's music, lol.

1. would you like to be an owner of an upscale gentlemen's club or run of the mill 'hood strip club?

Upscale.

1. are you open 7 days a week

Open 7 days.

1. what would be your hours? you opening at 4pm or 9pm? you closing at 2am or what?

Nude, open 2pm-4am.

1. there's a heated dispute between a new female dancer and a male patron you've never seen before. you don't know the story or beef. who do you side with.

Depends. Let's hear both sides first.

1. lucky you, your stable of dancers are only dimes and 10s. do you stay that way or do you believe in mixing it up with 4s, 5s and 6s?

Mix it up with all shapes and sizes of dancers. Only women-friendly dancers will be hired. All others not allowed.

1. who don't pay a cover at your club

Everyone pays cover. Women customers cover is half priced at my discretion.

1. your best friend's free spirited younger sister lives nearby and begs to dance at your club over and over on the low. your best friend doesn't do strip clubs and lives in another county. do you hire her?

Of course!

1. from a 1-10 scale where 1 sucks how professionally close would you be in general towards your employee dancers?

That's a solid 9

1. how furnished is your joint? we talking flat screens everywhere, great sound system, or empty warehouse with fold up church chairs against the walls

State of the art sound system and posh interior.

1. what's your dj playing

Eclectic selection of tunes. More hard rock during the dayshift and EDM, house and techno at night.

1. you a website, facebook posting owner or are you a paper flyers on windshields and mass texting come out to my club owner

Social media and SC dedicated sites only

1. will you advertise on magazines or radio if given a chance

No

1. business is good. everyone's happy. things are great. you got money. you opening a second location or nah

Nah. One's enough.

1. as a decent experienced SC mongrel, would you generally be successful as an SC owner

You betcha!

1. are your dancers racially diverse or nah

Very diverse (see #5)

1. would you acknowledge bad reviews or peep reviews on tuscl about your club

I'd hire someone to address that

1. your club is very popular so people always come out. but it's a snowing hard and your dancers don't all have rides. you closed for the night or for safety's sake or you open

Snowing? In LA? :)

Select answers of the most interesting (to me) questions:

-->1. would you like to be an owner of an upscale gentlemen's club or run of the mill 'hood strip club?

Relatively more upscale

-->3. what would be your hours? you opening at 4pm or 9pm? you closing at 2am or what?

I'd try to be open during the day. I solidly believe that most club owners have absolutely no idea how to cater to the dayshift crowd -- which is, relatively speaking, made up of a far higher % of hardcore PLs and regulars, than nightshift. I'd want to see if my keen insider knowledge of PLs could enable me to monopolize the dayshift. 4. there's a heated dispute between a new female dancer and a male patron you've never seen before. you don't know the story or beef. who do you side with.

-->7. your best friend's free spirited younger sister lives nearby and begs to dance at your club over and over on the low. your best friend doesn't do strip clubs and lives in another county. do you hire her?

Bros before hos man. How is this even a question?

-->11. what's your dj playing

Everything upbeat but country, any kind of thug rap, any music that has swear words or puts down women

-->17. as a decent experienced SC mongrel, would you generally be successful as an SC owner

The answer for all of us is "no". I think we all think we'd be successful, because we're "successful" PLs, but running a business is a whole 'nother world. I gather many of us are white collar workers, and white collar works go into the restaurant or bar business because they love food or the bar scene, and end up losing all their money, all the time. Being a patron and running a business are unrelated skills. And now imagine, instead of opening a restaurant, where you can count on some level of professionalism and honesty from your customers, you own a strip club?

I think as PLs we have some interesting insights, but actually running the whole enchilada would be eye-opening. AND, we would learn the answers to many of our "why do strip clubs do that?" is not always bad management.

-->18. are your dancers racially diverse or nah

Well, I own a relatively more upscale club. The upscale clubs I've been to are more heavily white girls, a smattering of Asians and Latinas, and a few black girls -- in other words, mostly not diverse, just a little flavor here and there. I also note that in my town, only the top two most upscale clubs can pull this off. The other contenders end up with relatively more white girls when times are good (there's more business, and consequently more girls choosing stripping as a job), and more diverse when times are bad... which leads me to believe, at least in my town, there's only a steady enough supply of hot white strippers to support two clubs, the other clubs don't always have a choice about how diverse their club is.

All of that feels about right to me, for catering to an upscale club's clientele. Pack it with as many hot white girls as you can, to appeal to the majority of your customers, but have enough ethnic flavor -- 30%? -- to also appeal to the rest. If you have a choice -- which you often won't.

Shit, jack. I just saw what the thrice-damned autocorrect did to my post! "Nestles" should have read "Beatles".

It was funnier before I had to explain it.

Lmao wanna see a business epic fail? Dancer95 shows why strippers will never succeed in owning a business, especially one that they are already in. Too funny.

sclvr: which replies from Dancer95 do you think are completely wrong?

The one experience I have with a dancer-owned strip club, was the legendary Lusty Lady in SF. That club was pretty unique, it was a dancer's collective rather than an individual owner, and they DID make every mistake in the book as far as managing the place with feminist collectivist ideals being the priority, rather than what customers actually want.

Still, I didn't see any real howlers in Dancer95's replies... other than automatically siding with the dancer, and the policy towards female customers (although there are so few female customers that I don't think that policy will have real material impact)

@Subraman- The no female allowed would right off the back subject her to lawsuits. Very stupid business move. Then there is automatically siding with a dancer in a dispute w/o even considering the circumstances. Stupid move number two. Her "hiring" policies are a joke. Good luck operating a stripclub without some "fuglies, grannies, fatties, skanks with too many tats, retarded bitches who can't even speak English, junkies". Those clubs don't (and never will) exist coz if they were possible then no club would have those types and every club has their fair share.

Bottom line that bitch would have idea what she's doing. Epic fail on all fronts.

In a heated dispute, I can see siding with the dancer as a matter of principle. If a customer is making a big scene in the club, he probably doesn't have enough emotional stability to withstand the strip club environment.

Find a manager if you have a problem, don't display threatening behavior toward the dancers.

@sclvr5005, bullshit. I worked at Go-Go Rama in NJ(super popular club) that had no-females policy. No lawsuits yet. And I already said that it's either that or at least double admission for them.

Female customers are super cheap and mostly annoying(except maybe ex-strippers and lesbians). I know a place that gets super packed with females and couples on the weekends. And guess what? Getting a dance is like a pulling a tooth and half of them just hang out at the bar and don't even pay attention to dancers. It's not a damn night club. So idk why women always whine on Yelp about how they didn't get free/discounted admission in a strip club. 0,001% of my income goes from females. So ya. No loss.

And idk what kind of shithole you club at, if you never been in a club with no super old/fat/obviously drug-addicted/covered with trashy tattooes/no English-speaking women. Trust me, they exist. And I would rather have a club with few quality girls.

By junkies I mean users of heroin, meth and crack.

I am thinking maybe it's a California thing (where sclvr5005 I believe is from) where woman and sue for that, want to sue for it, and win. I can confirm in Ohio (Midwest) that many clubs either (1) won't allow females unescorted with a man, (2) require two men to escort her, or (3) deny access. I think Ohio is just not as progressive, feminist, or what have you as California.

Wasn't focusing on the no female aspect, Dominic. Reality is that the only reason it continues anywhere today is because it hasn't been challenged. One lawsuit and it's over.

t was just one of several issues that helped prove what a clueless nitwit a dancer would be in trying to own and operate a stripclub .

Lol. I already imagine what kind of a shithole you would turn your own club into, hiring crackheads and pigs, cause, you know, clubs can't operate without dancers like these.

--> 1. would you like to be an owner of an upscale gentlemen's club or run of the mill 'hood strip club?

Upscale. If I'm devoting my time each day to it. It had been be upscale. Full stop.

--> 2. are you open 7 days a week

7 days a week.

--> 3. what would be your hours? you opening at 4pm or 9pm? you closing at 2am or what?

Assuming I stay in Ohio, I would be required to close at 12 midnight since it would be a nude club, if I (and my shark lawyer) understand the law correctly, or the girls need to cover up. I'd be open from 2 AM to 4AM, and have the girls cover up after midnight (pasties, bottoms, tops, boy shorts or slit skirts). Depending on customer and dancer reaction, I might just bag it and close at midnight.

--> 4. there's a heated dispute between a new female dancer and a male patron you've never seen before. you don't know the story or beef. who do you side with.

I would need to hear both sides first.

--> 5. lucky you, your stable of dancers are only dimes and 10s. do you stay that way or do you believe in mixing it up with 4s, 5s and 6s?

I'd hire 7s and up. I'd love to do 8s and better like Dancer95's response. I'd only hire the best though. But I would be alt-girl friendly, too, since I like them so much.

--> 6. who don't pay a cover at your club

Military discounts. I'd do website coupons with a valid email address on file (I email the coupon to you).

--> 7. your best friend's free spirited younger sister lives nearby and begs to dance at your club over and over on the low. your best friend doesn't do strip clubs and lives in another county. do you hire her?

Yes. It's a free country.

--> 8. you've been an SC patron. now you're an owner. what would you do now as an owner to make your patron self proud of you

I would be operating a nude club within a sea of topless and bikini clubs. Either I'm a brave genius or it could be business suicide. I'd miss the liquor, from my POV, but I'd rather have the nudity, an option I currently lack as a customer (AFAIK).

--> 9. from a 1-10 scale where 1 sucks how professionally close would you be in general towards your employee dancers?

1. Every so often I'd kick back and enjoy the club and chat with the dancers and employees. Most of the time I'd be a 10 though.

--> 10. how furnished is your joint? we talking flat screens everywhere, great sound system, or empty warehouse with fold up church chairs against the walls

Posh furnishings and a high-end audio system.

--> 11. what's your dj playing Rock and metal during the day. Dance, electronic, and metal music at night. (Non-degrading lyrics, of course.)

--> 12. who's your right hand man or chick helping you run this joint A shark of a lawyer behind the scenes. A bouncer/manager who's viable on the floor. He'd have to fall along my lines ethos-wise. I can't tolerate friction with someone I need to implicitly trust for this role.

-->13. you a website, facebook posting owner or are you a paper flyers on windshields and mass texting come out to my club owner

Maybe billboards. But that's it for old media. Otherwise I'm using new media like websites, Twitter, et al. No Facebook, though.

--> 14. how long you planning to hold this down 0-5 years, 5-10 years or 10+ years Since it would likely take until year 3 to begin to turn a profit, the building & land lease would be the longest I could get. At least 10 years, prefer 15 years. I'd plan to run the place for the next 30 years, truthfully.

--> 15. will you advertise on magazines or radio if given a chance

No. I would buy advertising on Tuscl and StripperWeb and bodybuilding.com or wherever dancers and customers and bouncers are. I plan to do effective market to bring in quality customers who see value in my vision of my club. Quality customers will attract and retain top-quality dancers. One feeds the other.

--> 16. business is good. everyone's happy. things are great. you got money. you opening a second location or nah

One location is enough. The only reasoned do a second, smaller place is in case I run into licensing or zoning problems with the first place. To in the event of a forced temporary closure by the city or zoning board, I'd just move the dancers and customers to the second club, or vice versa. We will see.

It is also equally important that I operate this nude club in a community that wants me or one I which in a tolerate the restrictions and they tolerate me. Absolutely it will not be near any schools, churches, day care centers, playgrounds, affluent neighborhoods with moms baby strollers walking everywhere, etc. I can't afford to operate where I'm beehive toy not wanted and where the citizens and city have the financial tools to make my life a living hell.

Did I mention my shark lawyer?

--> 17. as a decent experienced SC "monger," would you generally be successful as an SC owner

No. Monger and owner are two widely different skill sets, and, no, being a "monger" is not a "skill," lol! A critic != artist. A diner != chef. A pescetarian != fisherman. And so forth ....

--> 18. are your dancers racially diverse or nah

Yes, but what I hire does need to be marketable and profitable. No quotas. Only gorgeous women. W.O.C. need to be closer to the Miss Universe stereotype than not. I'm running a classy joint.

--> 19. would you acknowledge bad reviews or peep reviews on tuscl about your club

I would have someone paid to do this for me.

--> 20. your club is very popular so people always come out. but it's a snowing hard and your dancers don't all have rides. you closed for the night or for safety's sake or you open

It's Cleveland winters. If it is dangerous to be out, then the club will be closed. We are talking at most 1-5 days on the calendar, though. I am not inhuman. I am not closing it for a few snowflakes though. Everyone needs reliable transportation, even I the snow and cold. With that said, we will have a professional relationship with a trusted driver that dancers can use and pay.

--> 21. is your SC bathroom's cleanliness on your radar or nah

Yes, and I would keep a professional relationship with a good plumber. :)

The entire club will be clean from top to bottom. No exceptions.

-->"In a heated dispute, I can see siding with the dancer as a matter of principle. If a customer is making a big scene in the club, he probably doesn't have enough emotional stability to withstand the strip club environment. "

pp, at first, my general reaction is similar to yours. On top of the fact that, as a customer, I've never made a "big scene' in the club, I also tend to side with my team when in doubt about a conflict -- even if I'm wrong, the loyalty earned from the stripper will pay dividends in the long run.

That said, I had an acquaintance who owned a strip club for a while, and though some of his insights weren't well-received here last time I mentioned them, I did have some eye-opening conversations with him about the challenges of owning a strip club. I can almost channel him on this issue. He'd close his eyes and get that look on his face like I"m trying his patience, and tell me, "You have to realize the downside of siding with the stripper here. What if it's a particularly good customer? What if it's a stripper who tends to cause conflict and drive customers away? But most importantly, you have to realize that, if you side with the stripper, you're are predicting how she'll repay you with loyalty and gratitude. But you don't have any experience dealing with people who have no sense of personal responsibility and are in hustle mode all the time. I side with that stripper automatically, there's a good chance that instead of being grateful and loyal, she'll look at me as weak, and as a green light to abuse customers however she wants -- and that I'll always side with her, there's never consequences or questions. And half the other strippers watching will feel the same, and it's open season on customers for them. The other half, who are furious with her because they think she's the one who started the fight and that she's driving away their customers, will be furious with me.".

In short, lots of things that I "know" about how to motivate people and how people respond to kindness and loyalty, he threw into question. It was certainly an interesting series of debates I had with him.

Ohio is not exactly gay-friendly. I agree that it can and should be changed. I think the gays just relocate to more tolerant areas of the country.

Subra,

Your points are well taken - I had thought about the possibility of an abusive dancer, too.

In the case of a guy who was previously unknown getting into a shouting match as his opening act, I am still siding with the dancer, though. Even from the customer's perspective, if you allow guys to be openly and loudly abusive to the dancers, no dancer I would want a dance from would be around a week later. As an owner, I would want customers who tend toward grace and generosity rather than loud confrontation.

Same goes for the dancer, if she's new, she might not know to get a bouncer or manager in case of a problem or maybe she had previously worked at sclvr5005's club so she thought that a shouting match was her only hope of protecting her interests.

-->" In the case of a guy who was previously unknown getting into a shouting match as his opening act, I am still siding with the dancer, though. Even from the customer's perspective, if you allow guys to be openly and loudly abusive to the dancers, no dancer I would want a dance from would be around a week later."

pp -- just to be clear, I don't think anything you're saying is unreasonable, I might be saying a lot of the same things if my club-owner acquaintance hadn't poisoned my mind. Otherwise, my kneejerk reaction would be to tend to side with the girls, too -- at least until the girls start putting the "no good deed goes unpunished" principle into effect :) I will say, though, that I don't think what you wrote above is quite true. There are lots of clubs -- in fact, I would guess most clubs -- where management biases towards customers (or at least customers who are big spenders), and the girls stay, in droves. They complain, but they stay.

I also think it's important to hold employees to a higher standard than customers... another reason I might go into the situation slightly favoring the dancer, but wouldn't choose an action until I'd heard both sides... I think.

1. As upscale as possible.
2. Closed Sundays so the strippers can repent.
3. One shift MON-THU: 4-10. Two shifts FRI and SAT: 10-6 and 6-4.
4. Question presents a false choice. I wouldn't side with either till hearing both sides, unless one of them A) got violent or B) refused to lower his voice, in which case out they would go.
5. Yes, I would love to voluntarily water down the "talent" level of my dancers. NOT!
6. No one. There would be a $10 cover regardless of the time of day and no free passes given out.
7. I would not let her dance at my club unless it was cool with her brother. One dancer is not worth messing up my private life, and besides, bros before hos.
8. I would make my patron self proud by purveying only the finest-quality broads.

1. If the place were my livelihood I would treat the employees/contractors with as much professionalism as they would expect from any other employer. If I were just doing it on the side because I was independently wealthy and bored . . . perhaps I wouldn't give a fuck.
2. My place is swank. It screams, "If you don't have a $10,000 watch, GtFO!," which will A) attract a few whales and B) make the other bums feel as though they're getting a glimpse of how the other side lives . . . almost forgot C) attract the flyest honies.
3. I like rock and hate "black people music", but I don't think it's responsible to pick the music at your business based on your personal tastes. I would see if there was any market research (seriously) about the relationship between certain genres played and revenues. I think I would settle for a mix of pop/r&b/rock/whatever so that A) a customer might dislike one song, but not all of them, and B) the dancers could have a say in what they danced to
4. Another tough one. I think I would try to poach a good head bouncer / manager / bartender from an established club. I'm not sure what else to do. This is somebody you have to trust like a brother. Untrustworthy employees in the service industry will rob you blind.
5. I would advertise on TUSCL, of course.
6. I'm in it for the long haul . . . but my plans could always change.
7. I would advertise on the local classic rock and country stations. Great way to get construction workers in your joint.
8. Sure. We're going nationwide! I would have to make sure the experience was consistent from place to place, though.
9. Not sure. Knowing what a lot of the customers come there to get, and that their actually getting it could put me in legal jeopardy, would stress me out and force me to become the cockblocker of my own worst nightmares.
10. I would select based purely on hotness, but I'm white so my idea of hot does not include cottage-cheese thighs and a disproportionately huge ass with the consistency of a trash bag. One thing I would have zero tolerance for is a "ghetto" attitude from dancers of any ethnicity.
11. I would subscribe to TUSCL. Industry research is critical. I might even pay one of my bouncers to go to a rival club and report back. Remember "Deadwood"?
12. If schools and business were closed that day, I would be closed as well. Dangerous parking lot = liability.

^^^lecherous check out your answer #12 any employee you could swipe could be swiped right back and you will need their loyalty, i would advise against poaching to fill a position where trust is a major factor in the hiring.