I think I'm developing feelings for her....

avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
California
Well maybe not quite yet.

There's this stripper I've seen at one of my local clubs a few times over the past few months. She's a cute white girl who is thick (not BBW or fat) with a black girl booty. I'd rate her a 8.

I've talked to her a couple of times. She seems to have her head on straight. She has a full time job. being a nursing assistant (she wants to eventually be a nurse) she only strips once a week. Both parents are in her life, she didn't have a tough childhood. Blah, blah, blah.

I've probably seen her five or six times, got some dances from her two of those times. She seems like a cool girl, I'm not saying I want to be her boyfriend, but I do want to get to know her better outside the club, and I'm not talking about fucking her for money. She's a couple years younger than me. She mentioned she didn't have a boyfriend (I didn't ask her about that), and she asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. She's given me compliments of being cute etc. Blah, blah, blah, it could all be strippershit.

I'm thinking the next time I see her I shouldn't get dances from her, I don't want to be pegged as a regular that's always spending money. At the same time though I know she's there to make money, and I don't want to waste her time just talking to her.

So basically I'm looking for some advice from my fellow TUSCLers.
With the strippers you have managed to fuck for free OTC:
did you spend a lot of money on her ITC?
were you close to her age?
was there mutual attraction?
did it take a few visits?
other?

Basically I'm trying to seal the deal with her, but I wonder if I've spent too much money on her ITC?

The two times I got dances with her, I spent $80 and $100 respectively.

Thoughts?

28 comments

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avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
8 years ago
"....she asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend""

i think you could have an uphill battle here, larry! ;-)
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
8 years ago
Yeah. Why don't you have a boy friend? :)
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
Dude you say you've thrown thousands of dollars around in a club one night and now you're saying you've only spent $80 on a girl you have a major crush on?

Do you write this shit between 2nd period Spanish and 3rd period geometry or 5th period biology and 6th period art class?
avatar for Beaver_Hunter
Beaver_Hunter
8 years ago
Larry, if you want to go see her and not spend money on her, then go see her and not spend money on her! Sounds simple. I would add that you should tell her you're not going to spend on her. And if she wants to go hustle, she shouldn't feel obligated to stay with you. Keep you visit short.

And if she asks about your bf again, be honest and let her know that SJG was just a fling, your rebellious side got the better of you. You're over that now.
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
8 years ago
Shit
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago
I have 4 possibilities that immediately come to mind:

1. Larry thought he was logged into one of his other aliases when he wrote this

2. His account was hacked.

3. He's drunk and somehow forgot about all the times he claims to be rich and enjoys throwing money at girls when he wrote this.

4. He only goes to the clubs SJGay talks about and that's why the dancer thinks he has a boyfriend.
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
8 years ago
what shailynn said
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
Larry, this is a teachable moment.

Nothing we can say or write is going to me the magic combination to unlock her. Canned lines and canned techniques are straight-up PUA bullshit from and to guys who can't get laid and who can't talk to women, full stop.

Don't buy dances not because you shouldn't spend money but rather don't buy dances because dances aren't what you want. Spend time with her and talk to her. Real confident. Be interesting. Be interested in her. Maybe tip her $5 or $20 when you leave the club, but that's it. A tip is respect. I often write that the dancer always chooses. And she does.

Your confidence in yourself -- that 'charming her is an uphill battle' -- will win her over. I've turned many of 'no's into 'yes's by being confident, determined, and unshaking. If you get the girl to think something like, "sheesh! Who does this guy think he is. And why is he so sure of himself. I've got news for you buddy." I'm sure you do, sweetheart. You can tell me all about it when I pick you up on our date this Saturday at 7.

Just ask yourself: "Is this girl worth it?"

Then I see her again or call her (not text) to confirm the date for Saturday at 7. She'll usually laugh it off and repeat the lines a couple sentences up. As long as she's not giving a clear firm 'no' and blowing the rape whistle, you just have to flirt and play. You might need to pull back on the pressure and dominance a little (if she's interested and you're pushing her buttons). You're looking for an indicator like, "well, I never told you 'no' I just didn't say 'yes.'" It gives her an opening to come forward. Some of the PUAs play mind games or try to dominate her -- without letting up -- into submission, I guess that works, but you're not going to end up with a good long term, willing partner that way.

Just ask yourself: "Is this girl worth it?"

See the PUAs have it all wrong. And most of your questions (IMO and IME) are straight-up PUA bullshit. None of that matters. Go read some of the great erotic or romance fiction. Or find your grandmother or someone else her and age and ask her how her husband seduced and romanticized her off her feet. It's a little confusing in the crazy world of 2010s and beyond (technology et al.) but the old school still beats new school.

You're the eagle. It's time to push you out of the nest.

Like the eagle, you need to use your cunning, intellect, resourcefulness to figure out the specifics, on your feet, during free-fall to the Earth. Ladies like quick thinking men, while under-pressure. You're a crucible. Heat and pressure does not crack you. Something doesn't work, you keep trying, don't be desperate, don't be moody, don't get pissy, be persistent. If you appear needy or emotional, you will turn her off. Guys who give up, they offer girls no protection, no security, no confidence.

Rejection is not failure. Rejection is not final until it is. You *can* flirt and play and reverse a rejection. It happens. Until it's final. Always ask yourself after a rejection, "Is this girl worth it?" If so, keep pursuing. And not every two people are a match for each other. Sometimes learning that you're not a match is the most humane lesson. The PUAs and the guys that can't get laid over-analyze it and get butthurt when they find out they aren't getting the V. Total betamales.

If nothing, this one will prepare you for the next one. You have to stick your neck out a little bit. Hopefully you've been lifting weights and doing cardio, so it's a strong neck. Hopefully you have been taking risks so you can face fear. Girls like guys who take the initiative. If forces her to react either with her primitive brain or with the logical mind. Then you can better get a "read" on her. This is the chase. It's the part before the relationship and before any romantic bonds are formed. It's also the part where you're trying to figure out "what the hell she's thinking, since you really have no idea." I'd rather have my hand smacked that not do anything.


Damn, I should probably apply some of this to clubbing, Lol!
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
8 years ago
To the non-trolls, you all said I was spending too much money so I tried a new approach.....

Thanks dominic77 and sort of beaver_hunter for the insight. Sometimes good info gets lost in the land of trolls.

And you all know what I meant, girlfriend not boyfriend.

@govikings- the Vikings SUCK haha, they will always be the little bitch to the Packers.
avatar for AfricanLovePimppp
AfricanLovePimppp
8 years ago
I fucked her
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
8 years ago
did you spend a lot of money on her ITC?--YES
were you close to her age?--NO (60-year-old strippers are rare)
was there mutual attraction?--YES (Well, strippers tell me I'm attractive)
did it take a few visits?--YES
other?--I THINK A YOUNG GUY CAN FIND A BETTER GIRLFRIEND THAN A STRIPPER
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Jackslash for the win. He's always giving humorous yet valuable insight. I needed that.

I'm not necessarily looking to be her girlfriend. I just want to get to know her better and see where it goes.

I'm still a first year rookie to the strip clubs, I'm learning as I go.
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
8 years ago
Dude....it's nothing to take personal.....it's just that some of the shit you say is hard to believe.....and that's why you got the responses you did
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
8 years ago
i'm a five year rookie. I've learned a lot and there is still lots to learn.
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Sure GoVikings, someone that spends a lot of money in the strip clubs is pretty rare and hard to believe! Those guys are pretty much extinct! Dude stop worrying about much I spend. If you're unable to spend money in the strip club, then get a better job. Simple.
avatar for Beaver_Hunter
Beaver_Hunter
8 years ago
Larry, you're welcome, sort of.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
I'm too old to regularly fuck strippers for free. But it did happen with one dancer, a 22 year old. Free girl and I fucked several times otc, but both before and after we became fuck buddies, I spent some money on her itc. Not a lot, maybe $100 per visit. She still kept fucking me for free even though I was a paying customer. But I was a fuck budy, not a boyfriend. She is married. All I did on our dates is take her to dinner, and once I took her shopping.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
So I'm saying you should spend a little bit on her. Give her a good stage tip, and get a couple of dances. But no more money than that.
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Thank you John Smith.
avatar for goosman
goosman
8 years ago
Yeah, there is a girl just like her outside of the club, who is not a stripper. Go find her.
avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian
8 years ago
From experience I can tell you that if a stripper says she does not have a boyfriend, it's a lie. They might be truthful with everything else but they will always lie about not having a boyfriend.

It's all your YMMV. There is no magic formula to get free OTC from a stripper.

avatar for timothyjames55
timothyjames55
8 years ago
I feel where you're coming from. I'm about to board a plane and head home from where I've been dealing with this.

I could write a novel about the woes from the last couple of days I just had in Vegas, but the general idea is that I'm in absolute stripper-love with Girl A, who is wanting more and more while dishing out less and less, knowing I'm wrapped around her finger; flaking on less profitable ventures like lunch the next day, etc.... While Girl B is there, offering MUCH more, for way less than Girl A, and generally being awesome to hang out with and not flaky, yet like a dumbass I can't get away from Girl A because of the feelings I have for her, and basically just being in stripper-love, even thinking about her when I'm with Girl B.

It sucks.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
I think Dominic77 said it, "don't buy dances because dances aren't what you want"

To me it sounds like she wants civilian dating, and that in such a context she will really deliver for you.

So if you wanted, you could do that. Otherwise you could probably make whatever happens at that club happen with her.

But front room friendliness is best, rather than buying dances. If you want her in your own bed, make that clear to her early on.

Do whatever works in that club with her, just preliminaries, or FS, then take her home with you.

In my view, I still say that "buying dances" is a chumps game. So only get into the dance booths or back rooms with her, if that seems to be the best way to escalate from what was happening with her in the front room.

Or you could just take it all completely out of the strip club and totally civilianize it.

But don't buy dances unless it is really you who are inviting her, and it is understood that it is just preliminary to outside liaisons.

SJG

Am I The One - Beth Hart Live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj_ujwPy…
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
8 years ago
Thanks for the insight my TUSCL brothers.
avatar for carolynne
carolynne
8 years ago
For the love of God, just tell her you think she's so hot, that she makes you so hard that it hurts, and that you can't wait to pump her full of your joyful juice... well, that approach worked with me yesterday.
avatar for jestrite50
jestrite50
8 years ago
Carolynne is not far off from my answer. What I would do is sit with her and tell her how fucking hot she is and that you want her and she makes your dick hard just sitting there with her. The whole time be feeding her $20 bills about every five or ten minutes so she knows you respect her time and are serious about wanting to fuck her. It works almost every time for me. If I want to fuck a girl I can normally accomplish it in one or 2 visits to the club but you got to be respectful and considerate in your approach. (And reaching under the table and playing doesn't hurt LOL just saying) SJG is right These girls need to be treated as civilians not sex workers. Many have other jobs and for sure are real people and need to be respected as such.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
^^^^^^ jestrite50 is The Master.

SJG
avatar for jayhawk123
jayhawk123
8 years ago
"I'm not necessarily looking to be her girlfriend". You really should pay better attention to what you type.
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