The devil you know....

Gawker always makes me feel that I've been tame and cautious in my stripper experiences.

Lol! Yep, may have gone down the rabbit hole deeper than anyone else.

I still go with Rick Dugan's view. As I understand it, you've got to decline all sex and sex acts with her.

You might still be a friend to her and you might still send her money for all the emergencies as they occur. But as long as you keep having sex with her, you are legitimating her, and she knows it.

Need to get your sex elsewhere.

If someday she cleans up great. But no evidence of being anywhere near that. I suspect very likely she will end up being run by a pimp who takes all the money but gives her drugs, as she lies on a bed waiting for her next client. And then it is also quite likely that she will end up dead.

I say that by having sex with her you are not only hurting yourself, but also contributing to her own demise.

SJG

SJG you crack me up. Passing up pussy is aweful illy hard to do. Only guys that never get any but always talk about it are the ones that complain "oh I can pass it up easily."

Yeah it's easy to pass something up that's never offered to you in the first place.

^I agree, but if I was 70 years old, I'd be like whatever fuckit. Lots of the 70 year olds I see in MCD are just there for the $1 coffee, so props to gawker.

Oops that was meant as a reply to SJG

We're not all wired the same way - after I turned 40 (currently 46) my mindset is to a
void drama & problematic people no matter how hot I may find the bitch

Interesting comments. About 3 years ago I realized my own behavior was wrong on several levels, even though I was having a fucking ball. My wife was sick with Alzheimer's, and I felt guilt over "cheating" on her; I realized I was spending our retirement funds, I questioned whether my being such a large part of my ATF's life was helping or hurting her, and I just felt uneasy about everything.
I've always outwardly been a "pillar of the community" and here I was spending lots of time with a stripper/drug addict/prostitute. If I got arrested while she was making a drug deal it'd be headlines in the local papers. I'd been a town official, a high school principal for 15 years, chairman of a million dollar scholarship foundation, etc.
So I sought a therapist. My lawyer & golf buddy had given me legal advice to drop her; friendly advice to get away from her, and finally had me give him her contact information and her boyfriend's name and address in case something untoward happened. I finally found a licensed social worker & professor at a nationally known graduate school of social work. He's nearing retirement and during our first session I described what brought me in. He listened and then said, "Are you fucking nuts?"
I've been seeing him every other week since then and while he doesn't think I'm ready to be involuntarily committed he thinks my obsession with her is very unhealthy and that I should terminate all contact with her.
I'm now a full time caretaker of my wife and it's a boring existence. It's a daily reminder of our own mortality, the expenses of speech therapy, occupational therapy, clothes with Velcro and no zippers or buttons, diapers, innumerable doctors' appointments, etc. take what little money I have left. But the sex that I bought for $500 per hour slowly came down in price. My 30 year old vixen started talking about loving me, about needing me in her life, needing my support to be able to live a sober life. I have to tell you, it's immensely flattering to have a beautiful young woman "fall for you". We'd have sex frequently with no money changing hands. Then I'd send her $50 for something. Or I'd buy her a carton of cigarettes. When dancing, she still offered HJ, BJ, DATY, but not FS to customers.
I became privy to her sexual wants & needs and frankly I'm not capable of fulfilling them. So she developed a fuckbuddy "hot guy" after her BF moved on.
Ours has been an absurd relationship ever since it stopped being "all business". She has been in detox 8 times this year and needs to totally get away from all of her contacts and at age 30 start her life over. During the past 6 months I've greatly increased my contact with her parents in an attempt to put her in a place where she can learn to live a sober life. It's now up to her. She needs me out of her life and I need her out of mine. I'm a constant reminder of her past and she needs to meet and make new friends. She's got millions of issues beyond drugs. Her promiscuity, her impulsivity, her mood swings, her need for immediate gratification will all be impediments. But emotionally she's almost like a teenager who never grew up after getting on heroin at age 15.
Her mother is alcoholic and expects her daughter to die soon. Her Dad, a recovering addict, is optimistic that anyone can get past being an active addict.
Only time will tell.

Holy shit! This story is why I could pass up sex with a hot stripper, but my life's circumstances are way different. I figure gawker believes he has more to gain from this than what he could lose, because everything in life is fleeting.

If a pimp popped a cap in his ass, it could take him out of his misery.

Perhaps Gawker needs the drama like a coffee-drinker needs caffeine - perhaps the drama is an escape for him

FWIW... one of the reasons I ended things with my xATF was the realization that I was helping her lead a destructive life style. Of course, stopping seeing her didn't make one bit of difference.

Gawker, your ATF stories are fascinating.
Sounds like you're finally ready to move on with your life.

I have a feeling that this is not the final chapter. You are not ready for help anymore than she is. Detox is nothing more than a few days without access to drugs. She should have been in a court ordered rehab program with a minimum 30 day stay for starters.

Gripping and gritty story. I appreciate whatever it takes for you to share these with us.

PS: I truly wish the best for your, your ATF, and your wife. And I am sincere.

Gawker, wow! I'm sorry for what you're going through. Alzheimer's is very tough on the spouse. Hang in there!

Gawkers ATF is an addict. Gawker is also an addict, addicted to his ATF. He realizes that.

Most other girls Gawker has messed around with are addicts too, as it's apprentice very common for strippers in his area.

I do have one question for Gawker. Do you think you would be this deep in with your ATF if your wife was healthy and normal?

Most important is just no sex or sex acts with her.

Sending money when she needs it is in my opinion okay.

SJG

Shadowcat - she's been in 30 day court ordered rehab twice, she has gone two years on methadone ( trading one addiction for another), she's been in a 90 day private rehab, been to Tiajuana for an hullacagenic "cure" but keeps going back to the big H, her best friend. She'll stop using when she dies or when she wants to.
Mjy01 - I've tried to stop seeing (enabling) but frankly I have a hard time saying no to her. She once told her step mother about me and said "He'll do whatever I want". That embarrasses me and yet I can't deny it.
Shailyn - if my wife wasn't sick I couldn't have gotten away with the shit I have. And yes, it is an addiction. That's why I'm looking forward to her move south so I can settle into a rut without her. Plus, as addicted as I am and have been, I've always made sure that my wife has had the best medical, social, and emotional support. Her needs have and will continue to be dealt with first. She has a neurologist at a world famous memory disorders clinic where people from all over the world come for treatment.
Trust me, I'm not bragging about my sexual exploits with my ATF. I pass this along for the edification of others and almost as a warning. While I've had a fucking ball and a ball fucking, it's also completely ruined my life. I've dropped hundreds of thousands that I shouldn't have and am now just getting by. I'm being sued by a credit card company, am not able to pay all my bills every month, making minimum payments and that's stressful.
I've always prided myself on keeping my word. When I told the ATF I'd be there for her I meant it, but didn't understand what I was getting in for. It's quickly getting to a point where I'm going to point her in the right direction, block her phone and wish her well.

Gawker, I appreciate your candor and hope you take of yourself and the wife. I am however, done with this train wreck and that you do the same.

I get the feeling we'll be seeing a thread from Gawker in the near-future titled "The Devil is Back"

Not likely, Papi. My wife keeps a container of Mentos gum in the door pocket on my car. The ATF when riding with me fiddles with everything in the car, changing the seat angle, digging in the glove box, etc. I noticed last week she had moved the gum and our water there - water to mix with heroin and cook on a spoon before filling the syringe. I rearrange things and fix the car before taking my wife out. Yesterday she said her gum tasted funny. I ignored it. Today she brought the gum to me and said to throw it out. I opened it and there were 30 pills in there. They're an anti depressant which I know the AFT takes and she must have thrown out the gum and put her stash there. Apparently there are those who crucpsh & snort this shipt hot a "high"
I am so bullshi about this this I'm unsure how to deal with the junkie. I'm supposed to pick her up on Wed. & drive her to the airport maybe I'll just not show up and tell her to fuck off, when she calls.

your experiences make my life seem more normal. my main otc is on opium. butt she stops by maybe once a month.

I can identify with Gawker's need for a break from mundane reality from time to time. Real life is so draining at times (each day / week often feels like repetition from the last) and I tried different things and none were as uplifting as the occasion club visit is for me. So I can sympathize and relate (somewhat) there.

It is hard for me to get my head around this, gawker. You mentioned previously that her father said you're part of the problem because you are an enabler. So with that in mind, you give her money for drugs, take her to her dealer, and get her a room to turn tricks in. All on the way to taking her to detox.

Now that she's been through detox, you're thinking about not giving her a ride to the airport. A simple act of decency that will help her separate her from her addicted past from to what might be the start of her clean future. You can't be troubled for a ride because she left drugs in your car.

Do I have this right? Not only are you an enabler, you are also an un-abler. With a fresh start ahead of her, you want no part of that and blame her recent past history. From my ivory tower, it looks like you prefer her close and addicted.

Do the right thing, give her a ride. Don't take her to a drug dealer or a get a room. Take her to the airport and pray for her recovery. And then never again be a part of her life, you serve no positive purpose in it.

Compassionate post, Beaver_Hunter. I was thinking the same thing.

He's a shitty drug dealer if he trades sex for drugs. What a fucking lameo. AND he is less than a one minute man? BOO! So much for the power of youth!

This sounds like the story of desperate house losers of [insert city here]. Stop being foolish and stick to strippers without a crappy history. Or bettter yet, ITC only from now on.

I respect gawker greatly and love his stories. Thanks for bringing us up to speed on the latest.

Tiburon, these dealers often will trade the bare minimum amount of drugs (like $25-40, if they can get away with it) for sex with a 8 or a 9 with low mileage on her. These guys will often sleep with 100s of women that way easily, many underage. I knew a dealer like that. He pretty much had a new girl each night. I lived with a guy like that for a while. It got to be I see a new girl come up from the basement each morning. After a while I stopped bothering to learn/ask their names. I'm sure he did too. There will literally THAT many new girls. I frequently made coffee / drank it with them / chatted with them while the sobered up and before she'd get on their way. It was sad. But I liked the convo. Lots of interesting girls. Many were affluent or from privileged areas which surprised me.

You know with women getting paid 70 cents on the dollar versus a man many will jump at the opportunity to sleep with a dealer for free drugs.

So our caped crusader further ramped up his efforts to "save her" by bringing her to a drug buy and then waiting until she shot up so that he could fuck her. I wonder if our hero will share that little story with this girl's Daddy the next time he's gushes about how he has been trying to help. I'm guessing not. ;)

But I agree with shadow's assessment that the story isn't over. After all, Gawker still has some equity left in his home and some income to boot, even if his credit is shot and his income is insufficient to pay off his credit cards. I'm sure that, sooner or later, he will find a way to divert whatever he has left to her.