The devil you know....

avatar for gawker
gawker
Older than dirt
So I was spending my las few hours with my ATF. The next day I'd be bringing her to detox and then 5 days later bringing her to the airport and she's moving 1500 miles away. She called a new drug dealer shed me a few days earlier and he told us to see him in a MacDonalds parking lot. I pulled in and she directed me to park near a group of Harley's. She put her window down and he came over, greeted her, looked at me and asked, "Man, you fucking this piece of ass?" She quickly said, "he's my sugar daddy". He laughed and they made their exchange. There was a mixup in what she ordered so he got in the backseat and directed me to a spot near his stash. It was about a 10 minute round trip and we joked about my being an old man (70) with a 30 year old stripper. We dropped him off went to her hotel room and after she did her thing with her dope we fucked and sucked for what most likely will have been the last time after more than 7 years of regular OTC ( at least weekly). I left at about 11:00 and went home.
The next day, I arrived about noon and woke her up when I knocked and her room was a total mess. Housekeeping was waiting, the desk was calling because checkout was at noon. I started stuffing her stuff into her bags and next to the bed was a used condom ( a Magnum no less). Then two condom wrappers on the floor.
After we left I asked what had gone on after I left last night. She said she wanted more dope but didn't have any money, so she traded sex for dope with the nice 19 year old Haitian dealer I'd met at MacDonalds. She said he had a good body and she started sucking his dick and he yelled he was coming in 30 seconds so she dumped his load on his stomach. Then she made him wear a condom for fucking and he came again before she was even really into it. After 10 minutes he was ready to go and this time lasted about 10 minutes and then fell asleep.
No surprise for me, but she's gunna be missed.

31 comments

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avatar for jackslash
jackslash
8 years ago
Gawker always makes me feel that I've been tame and cautious in my stripper experiences.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
8 years ago
Lol! Yep, may have gone down the rabbit hole deeper than anyone else.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
I still go with Rick Dugan's view. As I understand it, you've got to decline all sex and sex acts with her.

You might still be a friend to her and you might still send her money for all the emergencies as they occur. But as long as you keep having sex with her, you are legitimating her, and she knows it.

Need to get your sex elsewhere.

If someday she cleans up great. But no evidence of being anywhere near that. I suspect very likely she will end up being run by a pimp who takes all the money but gives her drugs, as she lies on a bed waiting for her next client. And then it is also quite likely that she will end up dead.

I say that by having sex with her you are not only hurting yourself, but also contributing to her own demise.

SJG
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
SJG you crack me up. Passing up pussy is aweful illy hard to do. Only guys that never get any but always talk about it are the ones that complain "oh I can pass it up easily."

Yeah it's easy to pass something up that's never offered to you in the first place.
avatar for sf_payday
sf_payday
8 years ago
^I agree, but if I was 70 years old, I'd be like whatever fuckit. Lots of the 70 year olds I see in MCD are just there for the $1 coffee, so props to gawker.
avatar for sf_payday
sf_payday
8 years ago
Oops that was meant as a reply to SJG
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
We're not all wired the same way - after I turned 40 (currently 46) my mindset is to a
void drama & problematic people no matter how hot I may find the bitch
avatar for gawker
gawker
8 years ago
Interesting comments. About 3 years ago I realized my own behavior was wrong on several levels, even though I was having a fucking ball. My wife was sick with Alzheimer's, and I felt guilt over "cheating" on her; I realized I was spending our retirement funds, I questioned whether my being such a large part of my ATF's life was helping or hurting her, and I just felt uneasy about everything.
I've always outwardly been a "pillar of the community" and here I was spending lots of time with a stripper/drug addict/prostitute. If I got arrested while she was making a drug deal it'd be headlines in the local papers. I'd been a town official, a high school principal for 15 years, chairman of a million dollar scholarship foundation, etc.
So I sought a therapist. My lawyer & golf buddy had given me legal advice to drop her; friendly advice to get away from her, and finally had me give him her contact information and her boyfriend's name and address in case something untoward happened. I finally found a licensed social worker & professor at a nationally known graduate school of social work. He's nearing retirement and during our first session I described what brought me in. He listened and then said, "Are you fucking nuts?"
I've been seeing him every other week since then and while he doesn't think I'm ready to be involuntarily committed he thinks my obsession with her is very unhealthy and that I should terminate all contact with her.
I'm now a full time caretaker of my wife and it's a boring existence. It's a daily reminder of our own mortality, the expenses of speech therapy, occupational therapy, clothes with Velcro and no zippers or buttons, diapers, innumerable doctors' appointments, etc. take what little money I have left. But the sex that I bought for $500 per hour slowly came down in price. My 30 year old vixen started talking about loving me, about needing me in her life, needing my support to be able to live a sober life. I have to tell you, it's immensely flattering to have a beautiful young woman "fall for you". We'd have sex frequently with no money changing hands. Then I'd send her $50 for something. Or I'd buy her a carton of cigarettes. When dancing, she still offered HJ, BJ, DATY, but not FS to customers.
I became privy to her sexual wants & needs and frankly I'm not capable of fulfilling them. So she developed a fuckbuddy "hot guy" after her BF moved on.
Ours has been an absurd relationship ever since it stopped being "all business". She has been in detox 8 times this year and needs to totally get away from all of her contacts and at age 30 start her life over. During the past 6 months I've greatly increased my contact with her parents in an attempt to put her in a place where she can learn to live a sober life. It's now up to her. She needs me out of her life and I need her out of mine. I'm a constant reminder of her past and she needs to meet and make new friends. She's got millions of issues beyond drugs. Her promiscuity, her impulsivity, her mood swings, her need for immediate gratification will all be impediments. But emotionally she's almost like a teenager who never grew up after getting on heroin at age 15.
Her mother is alcoholic and expects her daughter to die soon. Her Dad, a recovering addict, is optimistic that anyone can get past being an active addict.
Only time will tell.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
8 years ago
Holy shit! This story is why I could pass up sex with a hot stripper, but my life's circumstances are way different. I figure gawker believes he has more to gain from this than what he could lose, because everything in life is fleeting.

If a pimp popped a cap in his ass, it could take him out of his misery.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
Perhaps Gawker needs the drama like a coffee-drinker needs caffeine - perhaps the drama is an escape for him
avatar for mjx01
mjx01
8 years ago
FWIW... one of the reasons I ended things with my xATF was the realization that I was helping her lead a destructive life style. Of course, stopping seeing her didn't make one bit of difference.
avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian
8 years ago
Gawker, your ATF stories are fascinating.
Sounds like you're finally ready to move on with your life.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
8 years ago
I have a feeling that this is not the final chapter. You are not ready for help anymore than she is. Detox is nothing more than a few days without access to drugs. She should have been in a court ordered rehab program with a minimum 30 day stay for starters.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
Gripping and gritty story. I appreciate whatever it takes for you to share these with us.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
PS: I truly wish the best for your, your ATF, and your wife. And I am sincere.
avatar for LecherousMonk
LecherousMonk
8 years ago
Gawker, wow! I'm sorry for what you're going through. Alzheimer's is very tough on the spouse. Hang in there!
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
Gawkers ATF is an addict. Gawker is also an addict, addicted to his ATF. He realizes that.

Most other girls Gawker has messed around with are addicts too, as it's apprentice very common for strippers in his area.

I do have one question for Gawker. Do you think you would be this deep in with your ATF if your wife was healthy and normal?
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Most important is just no sex or sex acts with her.

Sending money when she needs it is in my opinion okay.

SJG
avatar for gawker
gawker
8 years ago
Shadowcat - she's been in 30 day court ordered rehab twice, she has gone two years on methadone ( trading one addiction for another), she's been in a 90 day private rehab, been to Tiajuana for an hullacagenic "cure" but keeps going back to the big H, her best friend. She'll stop using when she dies or when she wants to.
Mjy01 - I've tried to stop seeing (enabling) but frankly I have a hard time saying no to her. She once told her step mother about me and said "He'll do whatever I want". That embarrasses me and yet I can't deny it.
Shailyn - if my wife wasn't sick I couldn't have gotten away with the shit I have. And yes, it is an addiction. That's why I'm looking forward to her move south so I can settle into a rut without her. Plus, as addicted as I am and have been, I've always made sure that my wife has had the best medical, social, and emotional support. Her needs have and will continue to be dealt with first. She has a neurologist at a world famous memory disorders clinic where people from all over the world come for treatment.
Trust me, I'm not bragging about my sexual exploits with my ATF. I pass this along for the edification of others and almost as a warning. While I've had a fucking ball and a ball fucking, it's also completely ruined my life. I've dropped hundreds of thousands that I shouldn't have and am now just getting by. I'm being sued by a credit card company, am not able to pay all my bills every month, making minimum payments and that's stressful.
I've always prided myself on keeping my word. When I told the ATF I'd be there for her I meant it, but didn't understand what I was getting in for. It's quickly getting to a point where I'm going to point her in the right direction, block her phone and wish her well.
avatar for stripfighter
stripfighter
8 years ago
Gawker, I appreciate your candor and hope you take of yourself and the wife. I am however, done with this train wreck and that you do the same.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
I get the feeling we'll be seeing a thread from Gawker in the near-future titled "The Devil is Back"
avatar for gawker
gawker
8 years ago
Not likely, Papi. My wife keeps a container of Mentos gum in the door pocket on my car. The ATF when riding with me fiddles with everything in the car, changing the seat angle, digging in the glove box, etc. I noticed last week she had moved the gum and our water there - water to mix with heroin and cook on a spoon before filling the syringe. I rearrange things and fix the car before taking my wife out. Yesterday she said her gum tasted funny. I ignored it. Today she brought the gum to me and said to throw it out. I opened it and there were 30 pills in there. They're an anti depressant which I know the AFT takes and she must have thrown out the gum and put her stash there. Apparently there are those who crucpsh & snort this shipt hot a "high"
I am so bullshi about this this I'm unsure how to deal with the junkie. I'm supposed to pick her up on Wed. & drive her to the airport maybe I'll just not show up and tell her to fuck off, when she calls.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
8 years ago
your experiences make my life seem more normal. my main otc is on opium. butt she stops by maybe once a month.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
I can identify with Gawker's need for a break from mundane reality from time to time. Real life is so draining at times (each day / week often feels like repetition from the last) and I tried different things and none were as uplifting as the occasion club visit is for me. So I can sympathize and relate (somewhat) there.
avatar for Beaver_Hunter
Beaver_Hunter
8 years ago
It is hard for me to get my head around this, gawker. You mentioned previously that her father said you're part of the problem because you are an enabler. So with that in mind, you give her money for drugs, take her to her dealer, and get her a room to turn tricks in. All on the way to taking her to detox.

Now that she's been through detox, you're thinking about not giving her a ride to the airport. A simple act of decency that will help her separate her from her addicted past from to what might be the start of her clean future. You can't be troubled for a ride because she left drugs in your car.

Do I have this right? Not only are you an enabler, you are also an un-abler. With a fresh start ahead of her, you want no part of that and blame her recent past history. From my ivory tower, it looks like you prefer her close and addicted.

Do the right thing, give her a ride. Don't take her to a drug dealer or a get a room. Take her to the airport and pray for her recovery. And then never again be a part of her life, you serve no positive purpose in it.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
Compassionate post, Beaver_Hunter. I was thinking the same thing.
avatar for Tiburon
Tiburon
8 years ago
He's a shitty drug dealer if he trades sex for drugs. What a fucking lameo. AND he is less than a one minute man? BOO! So much for the power of youth!
avatar for Tiburon
Tiburon
8 years ago
This sounds like the story of desperate house losers of [insert city here]. Stop being foolish and stick to strippers without a crappy history. Or bettter yet, ITC only from now on.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
I respect gawker greatly and love his stories. Thanks for bringing us up to speed on the latest.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
Tiburon, these dealers often will trade the bare minimum amount of drugs (like $25-40, if they can get away with it) for sex with a 8 or a 9 with low mileage on her. These guys will often sleep with 100s of women that way easily, many underage. I knew a dealer like that. He pretty much had a new girl each night. I lived with a guy like that for a while. It got to be I see a new girl come up from the basement each morning. After a while I stopped bothering to learn/ask their names. I'm sure he did too. There will literally THAT many new girls. I frequently made coffee / drank it with them / chatted with them while the sobered up and before she'd get on their way. It was sad. But I liked the convo. Lots of interesting girls. Many were affluent or from privileged areas which surprised me.

You know with women getting paid 70 cents on the dollar versus a man many will jump at the opportunity to sleep with a dealer for free drugs.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
8 years ago
So our caped crusader further ramped up his efforts to "save her" by bringing her to a drug buy and then waiting until she shot up so that he could fuck her. I wonder if our hero will share that little story with this girl's Daddy the next time he's gushes about how he has been trying to help. I'm guessing not. ;)

But I agree with shadow's assessment that the story isn't over. After all, Gawker still has some equity left in his home and some income to boot, even if his credit is shot and his income is insufficient to pay off his credit cards. I'm sure that, sooner or later, he will find a way to divert whatever he has left to her.
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