UGH This world drives me insane sometimes.

28 comments

• jsbach

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  8 years ago

  You should hit up Donald Trump's dad if you need a "small loan."
• skibum609

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  8 years ago

  No one gets a loan without work history and people who get paid in cash and don't pay into social security are going to have serious issues when they become disabled or retired.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  Yeah, it's a bitch of a problem. They seem to be trying to "force your into some kind of a box on their actuary risk sheets" rather than "evaluate your risk to them as person." If it is an auto loan, I've gotten around that in the past by going to a local bank (not a national one) and using my insurance agent as a reference, then putting 50% down. Another way to approach it is to use like 2 years of tax records or bank records. The problem with bank records, is there is often all sorts of "other shit" on there I'd rather just not willy nilly show everyone, but since we're trying to establish trust and ability to repay the debt, sometimes you have to do what you need to do. Nowadays I would try the more direct approach with the "loan monkey bitch" and ask (or the man above her) "what is the minimum information you need from me to satisfy this request (or establish my ability to repay this loan), without paystubs?" or That was the approach I used with my IRS audit. Normally bean counters lack any sense of humor so they don't take offense to you being curt, direct, or unambiguous with them. Personally I don't think she offered to help you because it would be more work for her, since you are outside the norm for them (no paystubs, no 1040, no 1099, etc.) Normally young women in this position just side step the issue by getting a co-signer, since most everyone has a gullible, well-meaning grandpa or grandma. I don't like that solution. I'd take them on by either putting more down upfront, getting a professional reference, or asking curtly what other paper work could be used. Make the bitch do her g-d job.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  That my dear is the down side of skimming on your taxes although you make money and pay your bills if you deposited your money into an account regularly and filed SS and FICA as a self employed person you would have an alternate means of showing income, unfortunately and I say that because the amount of taxes you would pay is probably quite small if you declared your income this wouldn't be a problem.
• JamesSD

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  8 years ago

  I have a friend who does freelance work. Makes about 80k a year doing it. Getting some loans is tough despite his good credit. Banks strongly prefer W2 wage slaves.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  Speaking of freelance work, another thing that helped me was a recent proposal from a client (to show an idea of hours a rate someone was willing to pay me). Unfortunately that won't help a dancer, but still some paperwork to show that you are what you say you are (freelance entertainer) might help you cause. In my case, it wasn't that people doubted what I made. It was just that they doubted I was who I said I was (a Computer Consultant -- for all they knew I could have been a hitman or a drug dealer). But some paperwork from a bonafide company helped clear that up. Thanks JamesSD, I meant to write "W2" instead of "1040" above. Brain-slip.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  I have been self employed most of my adult life and in my business I deal with a lot of independent contractors most that I know have a home with a mortgage I personally have never had a problem getting a loan although it is probably because my net worth is large enough to qualify me without earned income, my take on this is if you deposit regularly and pay your taxes as a self employed taxpayer, you should have no problem getting around a W2 request with an alternate 1040 or some other income showing verifiable source. The people who have the problem that the OP describes are those with poor FICO scores and tax evaders for the most part.
• metaldude

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  8 years ago

  Tough trade off between saving on taxes by underreporting income and showing enough income to qualify for unsecured loans. Co-signer is the easiest way to go.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  Why do people always assume dancers don't self report and pay taxes? Why would someone purposely do something that's could mess up one's financial future like that? Serious question.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  " Why do people always assume dancers don't self report and pay taxes? Why would someone purposely do something that's could mess up one's financial future like that?" Oh Dominic you have so much to learn about strippers! TEE-HEE-HEE
• vincemichaels

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  8 years ago

  Fuck them all. All they want is your first and last born and everything inbetween. Just pull your Glock out and make a direct withdrawal.
• Bavarian

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  8 years ago

  Strippers grudgingly pay their house fees and tip outs. You really think they are going to willingly give 30% of their income to Uncle Sam? What's a small loan anyway? $5,000? Any stripper can easily make that in less than a month. A gorgeous one in less than two weeks. Why would a stripper need a loan when they get paid cash and with no tax withholding? I understand that money is not consistent and summer time is slow, but still, any stripper should have more savings than the average wage slave.
• poledancer83

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  8 years ago

  Problem is I don't have anyone close enough to me to co sign. parents would be not close and I don't wanna have to depend on someone like that. I brought in bank info and tax info and was told it had to be paystubs they wouldn't even to employment verification to satisfy that requirement.
• motorhead

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  8 years ago

  You didn't mention if you have been filing taxes. I've known several dancers who have purchased homes and new vehicles. But it requires a little planning. You just can't just waltz into the bank with no documentation and expect to get a loan. Ask around with veteran dancers. Most know a bookkeeper/tax person that is familiar with stripper income.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  You need a different bank. One with a local loan approval board not a computer system.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  Just find some looser customer to "loan" you the money. Or stop working, apply for welfare, and the government will delivery money straight to you.
• metaldude

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  8 years ago

  Time for a new bank.
• Tiburon

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  8 years ago

  A guy I know always said young woman who truly use the strip club to pay for college is better off working at retail. Apparently this is why
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  ^Or work a few shifts a month as the waitress or bartender in the strip club. Then you might get a paystub.
• Tiredtraveler

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  8 years ago

  I have several friends that are "Sole Proprietor" consultant businesses and have a hard time getting a credit card much less a loan. His answer was to become a chapter S corporation and pay himself a salary.
• Mate27

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  8 years ago

  Ignorance is no excuse to getting angry at the bank. You should know these facts before going in. Better luck next time with the advice given here.
• K

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  8 years ago

  This is a wild idea. Ask the loan officer that turned you down and a few others at your bank and some other lending institutions how to handle the problem. They are likely to have better advice than we will.
• Dougster

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  8 years ago

  Good thing credit standards have tightened up since the GFC, yes?
• rockstar666

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  8 years ago

  Poledancer, your customers are a WAY better source of a loan than a bank. Are you serious??
• ATACdawg

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  8 years ago

  I had a similar, even more vexing experience. We applied for a refi loan, the terms of which would have been a 50% equity position and a payment of half the current one. Because I was (a) retired and (b) had elected to delay receiving Social Security, the loan officer refused the loan claiming that we couldn't support the loan given our declared income. This in spite of the fact that we had enough in their bank to cover the loan balance three times and an 800+ credit rating! She did say that if we cut up all of our credit cards (all 0 balance!)they would deign to give us the loan. I called her a moron and hung up. Suffice it to say, we talked to the bank that had our existing loan. They said of course they'd do it. I told the man the story of our experience with the other bank and he laughed. He said that with a 50% equity position they should pray that we would default, lol.
• rockstar666

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  8 years ago

  When I "lend" a dancer money, I know I'll never see it again. Apparently the loan officer felt the same way.
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  "Shortly before the Too Big to Fail bailouts:" ----------------------------------------------------------------- "Shortly before?" Wasn't Bernanke's quote about a year before Lehman failed? Nobody wanted to bail out the shadow banking system with taxpayer money. Bernanke (a Republican) did what he had to do. It's amusing to watch the hardest of the hard-core Libertarians explain away the financial crisis. We got into the mess in the first place from a lack of government regulation. And massive government intervention was needed to get us out.
• NinaBambina

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  8 years ago

  If you don't file taxes or have pay stubs, getting approved for loans that require proof of income can be difficult. You might want to try opening an account with a credit union as well.