tuscl

Can't even have an inkling of a friendship with a woman without thinking of sex

Thursday, June 23, 2016 3:34 PM
I will preface this by saying that I'm a single guy. It seems like anytime I'm on the verge of forming a friendship with even a slightly attractive woman, there's part of my mind that immediately considers if it would be possible to have sex with her. As one example, I sit in one of the local coffee shops a few times each week with my laptop doing some work. There's often another woman there (in her 50s) working on her laptop, and we've gotten in the habit of chatting for a bit about books we've read, etc. My problem is that I can't just accept a platonic friendship (even a relatively shallow one) without thinking of other things. Any sort of friendship that I establish with a woman (in any situation) starts me thinking of blowjobs, sex, etc. I have no doubt that most men operate like this, but for me it's becoming excessive.

16 comments

  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    IDK - IMO it may be worse if you don't have those feelings
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    In my unprofessional opinion; I don't think it has to be either or - I think you can like her as a person and be sexually attracted to her also.
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    The two are not exclusive. You can be friends with a woman and think of fucking her. You don't have to follow through . if you do follow through, it doesn't always mean the end of the friendship .
  • IronFox22
    •
    8 years ago
    I think you're right, Papi_Chulo. Good point. I just wonder if women know that virtually every guy they become friends likely wants to get in their pants.
  • rockstar666
    •
    8 years ago
    All heterosexual men have a 'Would I like to fuck her' gene with every woman they ever meet in their lives. It's the human condition.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    I think most women know what affect their bodies have on men - that's why many that don't want attention know not to dress a certain way - not every man is going to be sexually attracted to every woman though even if she looks alright (a type thing). - so in some cases perhaps there can be a plutonic friendship.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    I think Chris Rock has a funny sketch about this
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    8 years ago
    "so in some cases perhaps there can be a plutonic friendship." No disrespect intended Papi_Chulo, but this is a brilliant typo! I think JohnSmith69 has a "plutonic friendship" (same root as plutocrat) with his DS! ;)
  • Meursault
    •
    8 years ago
    I don't have this problem. I guess that makes me abnormal. I have a few female friends and I don't think about sex with them. One time I actually got sexually bored with a woman but stayed with her because we were friends (and she watched my dog).
  • mrrock
    •
    8 years ago
    I only become friends with a women if I'm working with her and unattracted to her. If I'm not attracted I wouldn't even bother talking to her just if I was out and about for example. So no I guess I wouldn't be thinking of sex with only a friend.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm not attracted to most of the women where I work at so I have no problem not thinking about sex. Now I remember the daughter of another employee looked very attractive and she worked there temporally. I was afraid I was going to cause trouble even thinking about asking her out so I didn't go there. Any guy who is attracted to a female is sexually attracted to her in my opinion if she looks good physically. If a guy is sexually attracted to a girl, sex is the main goal just speaking from a natural physical perspective as an animal.
  • Corvus
    •
    8 years ago
    Two things from my perspective: first, you are normal. Second, ask her what she thinks about your issue . It will give you something new to talk about and might lead to a romp with her.
  • lopaw
    •
    8 years ago
    It's not unique to men by any stretch of the imagination. Women do it too, and lesbians do it constantly. Trust me about the "lesbians doing it constantly" part.
  • shadowcat
    •
    8 years ago
    I must be really getting old because I don't think about sex with every female I come in contact with. Since my surgery May 2, I have had countless office visits and home therapy sessions all with women and I only think about sex as a reward down the road after I am rehabilitated.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
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  • vincemichaels
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm strongly attracted to attractive women no matter how we meet. Most, I don't even raise any possibility of sex. Through my physical rehabilitation, I met several very attractive women. Sure I would think about sex, but no way would I jeapordize our relationship. At the beaches, sex with many of the babes will enter my mind, but either they are way too young (15 minutes will get you 15 years) or there's just no way I'm going to attempt anything. these days. Some I've met through the years on the beach, we'll strike up a conversation, I'll compliment them on their beauty, but I don't take it farther. I've met several on the beach that did become my girlfriends, I liked them, they liked me.
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