So me and my wife frequent strip clubs in our area and most strippers know that we spend money when we're out if you pay us attention and sit and chat a bit. We have done vip many times with different stripper trying to find a good regular. Well we found one but she got fired and is now at a club that is way to expensive for vip. We like and have done with 4 girls at this one club but they never want to sit and chat for a bit before going to vip or after. So we have been looking for new ones although the others still think we should get dances from them, we'll that isn't happening. Last time we were in the club er found a new one told her exactly what we wanted and she is game. So the hell with the ones that have taken our money with limited time spent.
Yes it's generally understood that strippers ain't the sharpest tools in the shed. Good for you & the missus for holding your ground and not settling for stripper laziness and greed.
I understand your frustration. I like to visit a little with the girl before buying a dance.
I was at my favorite club this past Friday. I saw a favorite all over a customer at the bar.
She was interacting with him and talking. Keep in mind I have known this girl for quite awhile.
All I get from her is "wanna dance?" No small talk. I really have no interest in returning to see her
or her friend.
^^^lol
That's actually pithier than intended. I really think, fundamentally, you'll have a more fun time -- and be emotionally healthier to boot -- if instead of being butthurt at every little thing strippers do, you simply look at it as a business transaction, and take the mindset that you're going to find the stripper whose offer matches your expectations. If many strippers won't take the price, or amount of socialization, or amount of touching you want, then pull up your big boy pants and move on to one who will, without getting your precious feelings hurt.
While I agree with "not the sharpest tools in the shed" as a broad generality, the girls do sometimes have reasons for what they do (maybe they simply don't like you enough to socialize you, you're giving off a creepy vibe, your wife is unknowingly giving off a I'm-about-to-bring-some-drama vibe, whatever), sometimes the girls can make far more money if they don't socialize (like on very busy shifts), etc., so there's never a bad opportunity to work on yourself, too, rather than blaming the girls. Maybe you should be going on less busy shifts, maybe you should work on your approachability and how interesting you are when socializing, maybe you should spring for a drink for the girl right away. I dunno.
We get the behaviors we reward. if "wanna Dance" gets her a dance, that is all you will get from her. If talking to you and pretending to like you is what it takes to get your money, that is what she will do.
Confusing a dancer with a civvi girl always leads to frustration and heartache. Subraman is right: treat is as a business transaction in your mind. Unless you're fucking her for free at least, and even then.
I've learned long ago not to let strippers get under my skin. You know it is what it is. My only thing is they know how to get our money and always come over and hug us when we arrive i guess in hopes that we will get dances, but they all know how to get them and i guess they just aren't interested in making a few hundred dollars lol (like that's a thing). And again went last night with the same results except one came and sat at a empty table behind us and shot daggers my way while we were there and eventually went back to the bar. Just seems stupid to me. But I'm done with dancers wroth no time for me and my money. As far as drinks i will buy any dancer a drink that wants to chat even if I'm not interested in getting dances from her, but i will tell her she isn't our type ahead of time so she can decide if she wants to stay or go.
Yeah - strip-clubbing is def an inexact science and many of us whether we visit as lone-wolfs or not often get frustrated for various reasons.
First of all - it does seem to be a fairly common theme that most couples feel they don't get much if any attention in clubs - it's been posted here on the board b/f and expressed in various reviews - I can only "assume" that for many a dancer walking up to a stranger and striking up a convo is not easy for them and it being a couple may be even harder (over on SW many of the dancers there have posted they are often not comfortable w/ female custies - I guess most strippers are used to dealing w/ male PLs and know how to deal w/ them but may find-it harder to deal w/ female custies - some SW dancers state female custies can often be more judgemental).
It also depends on the type of club - some clubs have the M.O. where dancers don't do much approaching no-matter who you are - in most clubs it is often competitive b/w the dancers for biz; but in many clubs it can also be competitive b/w custies to get certain, or many, a dancers' attention - often times in popular clubs w/ many custies and may willing-to-spend custies it bcomes more of a seller's market and often times a certain type of custy may be the ones that get most of the attention (for w/e reason that may be - they make look like big-whales; etc).
As a sorta rule-of-thumb if one goes to a popular club and goes at popular times (late week nights or weekend nights); then one will oftne get less attention - for many of us experienced SCers we know to go at certain times if it's better attention that we want (as long as one hss the flexibility to go at non-peak times).
So a "possible remedy" may be going to a less competitve club or try to go at non-peak hours - and whether you are solo or w/ the S.O.; in competitive clubs one can't sit back and wait to be approached; i.e. one is better served to be proactive and go seek out the dancer - not the way it should be or the way many of us prefer but just as life SCs are not perfect - i.e. perhaps you can walk the floor for a dancer you and your wife would like, approach her, and ask her if she'd like to join you and your wife for a drink.
To be honest I wish more strippers would just stop by and hit me up for dances w/o telling me their friggin' life stories. And of course the ones that I don't have any interest in at all are guaranteed to squat at my table and clam-jam me while the dancers that I do want walk by.
I agree^^^^^^ however we are regulars at all these clubs and they know us and have talked to us and know that my S.O brings no drama or is judgmental. I guess they just don't like to sit and have a drink with us even on off peak times. I guess i just don't understand the way they think lol. I do have done but most we are not interested in that are cool and sit and shoot the shit and have a drink. I guess i just need to stick to those clubs i know i have a good dancer that spends time, however the same thing gets a little boring after a while. What really kills me is we were at this particular club one night and asked a dancer if she wanted to vip with us for a hour and she flat turned us down because she didn't want to hurt the feeling of another dancer we've done vip with. Seriously you would turn down 400.00 in your pocket
Some clubs have different M.O. - in some clubs it is the norm for most dancers to sit and chat for a decent amount of time - in others it's kinda the exception - and in others they'll sit long enough (2 songs or so) to get you to agree to a dance and if the custy has not decided by then they are off to hit another custy.
two4fun1225: More than likely your "prior" VIP entertainer sees you and your wife as her customer ($) and your potential entertainer doesn't want the BS that might come from allegedly stealing another dancer's customer. Sometimes being a known can come with others (dancers) believing that they won't screw with another dancer's money. It is also not the norm for the couples dynamic to always work well, and a dancer has to have more skills to engage and entertain. Kudo's to you both for making it enjoyable for both of you.
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I was at my favorite club this past Friday. I saw a favorite all over a customer at the bar.
She was interacting with him and talking. Keep in mind I have known this girl for quite awhile.
All I get from her is "wanna dance?" No small talk. I really have no interest in returning to see her
or her friend.
That's actually pithier than intended. I really think, fundamentally, you'll have a more fun time -- and be emotionally healthier to boot -- if instead of being butthurt at every little thing strippers do, you simply look at it as a business transaction, and take the mindset that you're going to find the stripper whose offer matches your expectations. If many strippers won't take the price, or amount of socialization, or amount of touching you want, then pull up your big boy pants and move on to one who will, without getting your precious feelings hurt.
While I agree with "not the sharpest tools in the shed" as a broad generality, the girls do sometimes have reasons for what they do (maybe they simply don't like you enough to socialize you, you're giving off a creepy vibe, your wife is unknowingly giving off a I'm-about-to-bring-some-drama vibe, whatever), sometimes the girls can make far more money if they don't socialize (like on very busy shifts), etc., so there's never a bad opportunity to work on yourself, too, rather than blaming the girls. Maybe you should be going on less busy shifts, maybe you should work on your approachability and how interesting you are when socializing, maybe you should spring for a drink for the girl right away. I dunno.
First of all - it does seem to be a fairly common theme that most couples feel they don't get much if any attention in clubs - it's been posted here on the board b/f and expressed in various reviews - I can only "assume" that for many a dancer walking up to a stranger and striking up a convo is not easy for them and it being a couple may be even harder (over on SW many of the dancers there have posted they are often not comfortable w/ female custies - I guess most strippers are used to dealing w/ male PLs and know how to deal w/ them but may find-it harder to deal w/ female custies - some SW dancers state female custies can often be more judgemental).
It also depends on the type of club - some clubs have the M.O. where dancers don't do much approaching no-matter who you are - in most clubs it is often competitive b/w the dancers for biz; but in many clubs it can also be competitive b/w custies to get certain, or many, a dancers' attention - often times in popular clubs w/ many custies and may willing-to-spend custies it bcomes more of a seller's market and often times a certain type of custy may be the ones that get most of the attention (for w/e reason that may be - they make look like big-whales; etc).
As a sorta rule-of-thumb if one goes to a popular club and goes at popular times (late week nights or weekend nights); then one will oftne get less attention - for many of us experienced SCers we know to go at certain times if it's better attention that we want (as long as one hss the flexibility to go at non-peak times).
So a "possible remedy" may be going to a less competitve club or try to go at non-peak hours - and whether you are solo or w/ the S.O.; in competitive clubs one can't sit back and wait to be approached; i.e. one is better served to be proactive and go seek out the dancer - not the way it should be or the way many of us prefer but just as life SCs are not perfect - i.e. perhaps you can walk the floor for a dancer you and your wife would like, approach her, and ask her if she'd like to join you and your wife for a drink.