Liars get defensive when called out on their lies

22 comments

• lopaw

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  8 years ago

  Why call her on it if you know its SS? Nothing good can come from that. IMHO if the deal you got going is good, don't risk losing it by calling her on her stripper lies. They all do it and we all know it. Just nod and smile at whatever lame shit she says and enjoy the ride.
• TravelingGolfer

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  8 years ago

  That's probably good advice Lopaw. Thanks. In my instance it happened once and as it was happening the second time, I questioned her if it was about to happen again, because it seemed like it was about to. I wasn't really sure at the time because my head was full of SS. Anyway, sure enough it happened a second time. Plus it ruined the night with the disagreement. Oh well.
• s88

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  8 years ago

  You can't win with a stripper, you are in her house, she isn't in yours.* Say your disagreement once very calmly, and never repeat it. You will never win. She is always right, you are always wrong. If it is 1 or 2 ITC interactions/visits, I walk away. If it is 5 or more visits, I confront her once, she rants to me I am wrong, and I walk away. "Anyway, she got so defensive about me confronting her on her SS that she asked me to stop contacting her, which I will." You didn't say if this was F2F, or by text. Even if you know you were screwed/stood up OTC, in a friendly way say it. Dont let her think you will beat her/rape/murder/turn her our for lying, then she will really be afraid of you. If you scared her enough that she said to stop contacting, it is over. She doesn't feel safe with you, or thinks you want revenge. $$$ isnt worth her life unless she is an IV drug user or something. The best revenge is you being in her SC with another stripper sitting on your lap with her looking on from another seat silently regretting standing you up. *I've had atleast 2 strippers ask me if I know a place they can move into in the last 2 months, I've considered for 15 seconds getting a stripper to move into my house, my dead grandpa's room is empty, then walked around the house and started thinking how much each thing not screwed down is at a pawn shop, then decided against letting a stripper move into my house
• TravelingGolfer

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  8 years ago

  Anyway, I think this may have been a blessing in disguise. It's probably better it ended this way, rather than having an actual relationship with someone who lies constantly and cheats on their significant other. It was an inexpensive lesson and probably saved me a lot of grief and money in the long run. I may need to go back to civilians. I'm not sure that I'm cut out for the emotional roller coaster ride that dating a stripper would involve.
• dw.buck

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  8 years ago

  someone wants a relationship with a stripper???? you cant change a hoe into a housewife. many have tried and ended up broke - broke money, broke heart, broke possessions. the only meaningful relationship for a stripper is with a sugar daddy or pimp - leave the relationships to those two experts and move on
• Timex345

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  8 years ago

  Best to move on. It was a hard lesson for me to learn. Honesty has no place in a SC. It sucks. But these girls are only after money. I saw a fav. with her sugar daddy. It was a surreal sight. He looked like her grandfather. Sad really. But, this is the world's oldest profession. Have fun. But keep away from dating these women.
• jackslash

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  8 years ago

  Q. How do you know when a stripper is lying? A. Her lips move.
• TravelingGolfer

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  8 years ago

  She wound up texting me several messages later on apologizing to me. What's that line from the Godfather? Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in. The smart thing is probably to walk away, but she's really hot and I like her. Maybe I'll give it one more try...
• ime

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  8 years ago

  Stripper lies are half the fun.
• Cashman1234

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  8 years ago

  It seems that you need to make up your mind. Do you want to be a customer or do you want to actually date a stripper? In this dancers eyes (the one you describe in your op) - you are a customer - and a source of $$$. Based on your description - it's all SS - and that's all it's going to be. If you see her OTC - it's not going to be more than P4P. She's good itc - as she's created a great vibe and the gfe feels great - but that's all it is - a girlfriend experience. Don't think it's anything more. I'd recommend you enjoy the gfe with this dancer. If you actually want to date a dancer - you will need to find a different one. You are a customer with this one - and you won't be crossing back over to an actual relationship.
• a21985

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  8 years ago

  I let SS slide most of the time, because it is part of the game. With my ATF, I have enough of rapport with her that if she gives me too much SS, I don't verbally call her out, but I simply shoot her a dissapointed look that essentially says I know that's stripper shit. When she sees it, she immediately responds back with "I'm being a pain in your ass right now, aren't I?" Then we both continue on. No harm, no foul.
• flagooner

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  8 years ago

  It's all a game. Why spoil the fun by letting her know that you're in on it?
• Cashman1234

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  8 years ago

  A21985 - that's smart. You have a relationship with your ATF where she's relaxed enough to understand your limits for SS - and that's impressive. You don't find that often.
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  "Look, all I mess trying to do is find out if you were really going to meet me outside. I am perfectly OK with continuing to fuck you in the club, if that's where you want to keep it. I'd prefer to go somewhere else more private, where you don't have to share with the club, but if there's some reason you aren't comfortable with that, I'll be happy to keep seeing you here."
• a21985

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  8 years ago

  Cashman - she's smart and one hell of a hustler that knows exactly how to treat me (within my limits) to get me to open up my wallet for her. Doesn't mean she doesn't try some over the top SS every once in a while though. A few of the other dancers have joked that we act like a married couple at times in the club. I don't know if that's a testament to her GFE skills, or if we've both have gotten a little too relaxed in this business relationship.
• Cashman1234

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  8 years ago

  A21985 - it sounds like a good (strip club) relationship. You both know that it's an itc relationship - and that's very important. It's great to enjoy a gfe time - as it's relaxing and fun. She knows when to tone it down (based on your cue) - and you know it's an itc gfe - so it sounds great to me.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  I think you have to ask yourself what you'll get out of it. Is the awesome thing to be fucking a super hot stripper, or is the awesome thing to be home alone jerking off but with the knowledge that she knows you know she's lying and that makes you better than her. I'll take fucking the stripper, most of the time. Sometimes, I'll catch her in a little lie regarding a behavior that's irritating me, and instead of "confronting" her (honestly, I have no idea what's up with all the "confronting" on tuscl; is the reason some of you are in strip clubs that you can't figure out how to interact with people you aren't paying? Are you constantly confronting people instead of finding more positive ways to change their behavior?), I'll tease her about it... typically, as long as my demeanor is smiling and teasing, instead of being defensive, she'll laugh along, admit it, tell me she owes me one (and either her owing me one or promising not to repeat is my endgame; otherwise, there's little point). There can be times when a come-to-Jesus meeting is required, but they're few and far between, and I've mostly given up on them since they don't often seem to get long-term results. But even this is not about "confronting", or not about me being butthurt over the fact that she lied -- it's about getting a hot stripper who I want to fuck to change her behavior so I don't have to fire her.
• K

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  8 years ago

  Subraman Thank you for the uncommon dose of reality. I sometimes think the biggest reason I go to strip clubs is because I can fire them at any time for any reason.
• Cashman1234

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  8 years ago

  Subraman - you said it well. Sometimes folks don't want to admit it - but you provided the dose of reality needed.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  I've been in the game long enough and I am still relatively young when compared to other PLs on this board so I am still close to the age of most of the strippers I deal with. It's not uncommon for me to go after stripper the same age as me either. I have found when a stripper says she wants to "date" me or have some sort of relationship that doesn't revolve around money, they are serious about 25% of the time and the rest are just telling me what they think I want to hear. Actually 25% may be stretching it.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  dwbuck + 1 As others have said - we PLs often need a dose of reality and for me the reality is that it's naïve to expect genuine affection/feelings from a chick we are fucking for $$$ - it is a fake relationship and thus fake emotions. And as a dose of reality - it takes two to tango - the reality is we are using them as they are using us - our "feelings" for them are not real either - in reality most PLs just want the stripper to be there to fuck them or pay attention to them when they want-it/need-it - most PLs are in it for themselves to get what they want - if the chick puts on weight or has some kind of life issue most PLs are not gonna be there for them - we PLs are not devoted to them beyond paying them - can't expect them to be devoted to us. If they were "nice girls" they wouldn't be strippers - if one wants a nice girl then go to a library not a strip-club.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  w.r.t. SS - I choose to work around it - strippers are not good at being "confronted w/ the truth" - if that was the case they couldn't handle being strippers and the things they gotta do. Strippers will often try to get away w/ as much as the PL will allow - kinda like a PL in a club will try to get away w/ as much as the dancer will allow - dancers will often set their boundaries and PLs gotta do the same - I set my boundaries and it's up to the dancer if she wants to deal with them - if she doesn't that's her prerogative and right; and if she wants my $$$ she will treat me according to my expectations.