Obviously enough, if you're referring to your "scared straight" thread, from what I can tell, she didn't disrespect you at all, she absolutely did the right thing, but for some reason (you're over-invested emotionally? You try to make everything about you, even when it's not remotely about you?) you took it personally and as disrespect.
I think the things to keep in mind:
- Make sure you have some perspective -- if you're going to be insulted, at least be insulted about something legit, not a girl following the OTC code and you being so incredibly needy and in fantasy-land about your place in her life, that you take it personally
- If you're going to deal with strippers, there's going to be some level of actions that you might consider disrespect -- e.g., showing up late sometimes -- that either you'll just deal with, or else you shouldn't be dealing with strippers. It's a matter of figuring out where you draw the line between actions that are just "well, she's a stripper, I'll deal" and "I'm not willing to be treated like a bitch, I can't respect myself if I let this slide".
Interesting topic! My ex-ATF crapped out on dates about 50% of the time which I considered par for the course for a dancer. Plus I wasn't paying her so maybe there was less incentive. If I were paying for her I would have dumped her right away but free dates with my personal goddess? I let it slide.
^^^ There was definitely a time when I expected and put up with a 50-ish percent flake rate. Maybe I'm older and grumpier, I can't imagine putting up with it now. I have to arrange my life -- work-wise and/or family-wise -- to take the time off, drive as much as an hour to the city, and then take into account the anticipation. Just not worth it to deal with a girl who flakes that much. 10 years ago, I was fine with it, and just always turned lemons into lemonade -- if she flaked, I'd just head to the strip club, or grab a bodyrub.
'course, the "not paying her" part changes everything. For free, I might deal :)
My regular girl usually has to wait for me, when I go to her apartment after I leave my office, and when we are in the club together she treats me great, never leaves my side till I leave to go home, and if we are leaving the club together to get some dinner she will be in and out of the dressing room in under 10 minutes. This gal is the best I have had in a long time, looks wise she is an 8.5 or better and she is about 33 years old and very sweet and intelligent. She has turned out to be a good friend and I have become quite fond of her.
I'm not technically seeing anyone. I'm not dating - so I'm not seeing any women. If I'm meeting a dancer OTC - it's simple. She doesn't show - then I don't pay. Of course it's frustrating - if I'm left waiting. Inside a strip club is a fantasy land - and I've learned to avoid buying drinks, buying blocks of dances in advance, etc.
If a dancer wants my money in advance - she will only get it if she's proven herself to be a reliable performer. So far - I've found one dancer who was that reliable.
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I think the things to keep in mind:
- Make sure you have some perspective -- if you're going to be insulted, at least be insulted about something legit, not a girl following the OTC code and you being so incredibly needy and in fantasy-land about your place in her life, that you take it personally
- If you're going to deal with strippers, there's going to be some level of actions that you might consider disrespect -- e.g., showing up late sometimes -- that either you'll just deal with, or else you shouldn't be dealing with strippers. It's a matter of figuring out where you draw the line between actions that are just "well, she's a stripper, I'll deal" and "I'm not willing to be treated like a bitch, I can't respect myself if I let this slide".
'course, the "not paying her" part changes everything. For free, I might deal :)
My regular girl usually has to wait for me, when I go to her apartment after I leave my office, and when we are in the club together she treats me great, never leaves my side till I leave to go home, and if we are leaving the club together to get some dinner she will be in and out of the dressing room in under 10 minutes. This gal is the best I have had in a long time, looks wise she is an 8.5 or better and she is about 33 years old and very sweet and intelligent. She has turned out to be a good friend and I have become quite fond of her.
But it becomes like in that opera Carmen.
Can't go that way.
SJG
If a dancer wants my money in advance - she will only get it if she's proven herself to be a reliable performer. So far - I've found one dancer who was that reliable.