tuscl

The old west

crazyjoe
Colorado
Did you ever want to be a gunslinging badass that fucks shit up in the old west?

16 comments

  • ime
    8 years ago
    Juice's grandfather Jackie the Chackin Fanger was a gunfighter. He lost 23 consecutive duels, strangely enough he didn't die from his many times being shot but from the Clap. Sidenote he was also a frequent brothel visitor who never paid the whores and it was frequently heard being yelled from the windows of various houses of ill repute "Fuck You Jackie" which is where get the popularly used phrase today.
  • vincemichaels
    8 years ago
    I lived in Nevada at that time. It was a good time to be there. :)
  • motorhead
    8 years ago
    I would have loved to live in the old west when prostitution was legal and brothels were out in the open.

    I always found it kind of funny that in an era of television where you weren't even allowed to use the word "pregnant", one of the most popular shows on TV (Gunsmoke) had a major character that was a former whore turned madam who ran and saloon and whorehouse.
  • dallas702
    8 years ago
    I'm thinking about it.

    Whores who bathe a couple of times a year. (if that often),
    Women don't shave anything,
    Open sores, broken teeth, foul breath, the worst odor and sloppy looseness of being number 17 that afternoon,
    Nite jar (half full of piss) sitting next to the bed,
    STDs at epidemic rates,
    No antibiotics,
    No indoor plumbing,
    The closest thing to a dentist is the barber,
    The nearest doctor is an undertaker 20 miles away,
    Day old milk is literally deadly,
    A rattlesnake bite is fatal 80% of the time,
    The flu is fatal almost 20% of the time,
    A good horse costs almost as much as a factory worker, or miner, makes in a year,
    A Colt Arms "Peacemaker" .45cal costs more than three month's wage and is capable of firing 5 of the 6 bullets that can be loaded in the cylinder before jamming due to powder residue, but it is accurate (within one foot of aim point) out to 20 FEET. (only if carefully aimed).
    Most gunshot victims die slowly and painfully of sepsis or later infection, not trauma from bullet wound.

    Yea, that sounds like a lot of fun - - - NOT!
  • mikeya02
    8 years ago
    Juice would have been hung for stealing chickens
  • mikeya02
    8 years ago
    Nina would have been the star attraction at the Shady Lady Saloon
  • mikeya02
    8 years ago
    Alucard would have been tarred and feathered
  • ime
    8 years ago
    SJG would try to convert the Native Americans to join him in a fight against the white devils, however he would be scalped and left for dead in the desert because they ain't got time for that shit.
  • ime
    8 years ago
    Crazyjoe would set up his nitro gylcerin and TNT store next to the rowdiest saloon...hilarity ensues.
  • sharkhunter
    8 years ago
    Even if you were pretty fast with a gun, you'd probably get a reputation for it. Then every guy who thinks he's a badass might want to challenge you. No thanks. It only takes one time when your gun jammed or he was faster to end it all. I've killed thousands of people in my dreams multiple ways. It gets boring after a while unless you're just a blood thirsty freak. Enjoying the blood lust is just evil. Remembering a dream where I enjoyed the killing after I woke up, disgusting. Well not if it was self defense. I usually thought that was cool. I wondered if you can really slice someone's head clean off with a machete like I did in one dream in self defense. I kind of doubt it unless your blade was super sharp. I rarely mention dreams where I'm killing people. That can scare people. In my lucid dreams, I can separate every atom in people's bodies and reunite them if I have total control. I have more fun killing aliens in my dreams though. The Wild West, no thanks.
  • san_jose_guy
    8 years ago
    Did I ever want to be a gun slinging bad ass? No.

    But I'm not Crazyjoe.

    :)

    SJG

    CAMERON CARPENTER Mussorgsky=Carpenter - Pictures at an Exhibition Pt.1/3
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NwSUOFV…
  • shailynn
    8 years ago
    I'd get shot cheating in a card game.
  • ATACdawg
    8 years ago
    I'd be Chuck Connors with his badass rifle with the big lever loop.
  • Cashman1234
    8 years ago
    Before dallas702 brought the truth into the discussion - I thought it might be fun. However - I'm a total failure at riding horses. I can't play cards at all. Without glasses - I can't see shit. I'm tall enough to be a very easy target.

    Oh - and the chance of catching a glimpse of SJG in ass-less chaps makes me wish I was totally blind!
  • san_jose_guy
    8 years ago
    " scalped and left for dead in the desert "

    It could happen.

    " SJG in ass-less chaps "

    No no no. In my manner of attire I am just an ordinary Joe. Not into any sort of gay style male display. That should be clear by now.

    SJG
  • Cashman1234
    8 years ago
    ^^^ ok. That is good to know. Thats one less threat to my existence in the old west.
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