This is Why I'm Not Married

avatar for motorhead
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life

Being 100 pounds overweight and bald has nothing to do with it.

$32,000 Shit

Bitches be crazy

27 comments

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avatar for motorhead
motorhead
9 years ago
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
9 years ago
Motor....you don't get lonely?
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
9 years ago
OMG...that's what you get for marrying a virgin. HUGE bills!
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
9 years ago
Imagine paying for your daughter's wedding. There she is, your darling little girl....standing next to a drug dealer
avatar for seaboardrr
seaboardrr
9 years ago
I know both our parents wish we would've had a huge wedding but when it came down to which STATE to have it in and the guest list was climbing close to 500 people we finally had enough and just drove down to the keys and got married on the beach just the 2 of us. Had memories we'll never forget (and a massive bed we still can't find for sale anywhere...you could easily fit 4-6 people in that thing) and sent everyone pictures.
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
9 years ago
That's steep. What kinda wedding does 30 grand get you anyway?
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
9 years ago
Well, between venue and food, $100 per guest is on the cheap end. If you've ever paid to cater a party you know that $50 per person won't get you steak and lobster.

Part of the problem is cutting down the guest list. When I got married I was fortunate neither of us had a lot of family in the area. Cousin bob and aunt sue didn't spend $300 plus hotel to come, and in some cases even sent small gift checks anyways. A 200 guest wedding is not unusual. 200 x $100 is $20,000, and that's not including photographer, booze, officiant...

I have a few friends who did courthouse weddings or backyard weddings (basically a big bbq with a keg) and those are way cheaper.
avatar for Dur_Flush
Dur_Flush
9 years ago
I concur with cflock
avatar for jester214
jester214
9 years ago
When my best friend got married I split the check for the rehearsal dinner with his brother as their parents aren't around. It cost me a little over a grand.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
9 years ago
why do guests cost you money for the wedding? Aren't they coming for free?
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Absolutely fucking insane. All for a few hours that you will most likely regret after some years together. Also you could have a DS as your girlfriend for several months with that kind of cash.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
9 years ago
Lonely,schmonely, I can stand a moment or two every so often for $32,000.
avatar for jester214
jester214
9 years ago
Keep in mind that typically you aren't footing the bill yourself. Her parents are helping out and most likely she has a job too. My brother's in-laws footed about 80% of his 40Kish wedding.

@Estafador, a lot of things get broken down per guest. Catering for X costs one amount catering for Y costs another. I assume that's what you're talking about.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
9 years ago
My Dad's next door neighbour paid for his daughter's (she was a major hottie!!!!!) wedding to the tune of about $60,000; this was about15 years ago. Too bad they never solved the issues of who would be in control of the bride and groom's money, the groom, his bride (who was bringing the major cash to the marriage) or the groom's momma.

The marriage was over in three months.

The shortest marriage on record? A guy at the gym I belonged to got married on Friday to a girl he had met a few days earlier. On Monday they were back at the courthouse getting it annulled. We gave him crap about that for months - " Hey, Charlie. Who are you getting married to this weekend?" He was a good sport about it.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
9 years ago
Now, my daughter and her husband planned their own wedding, had about 200 guests, and had a heavy hors d'ouerve reception. The total cost for dress, flowers, reception hall and catering was right around $8000. They're still married and we've got two beautiful grandkids.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
I'd spend that much if Hotstuff married me and made me chackin fangers every night for dinner.



avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
9 years ago
^not gonna happen buddy.
avatar for gawker
gawker
9 years ago
I have two daughters and spent $17,000 on each wedding. Anything over that was their responsibility. One daughter didn't spend a dime over my limit. The other one had the groom's parents kick in plenty - $10,000 for the 5 piece combo with 2 singers ( 2 professors from the Berklee School of Music) filet mignon, lamb chop appetizers, ballroom on the water, horse drawn carriage, etc.
Both weddings were memorable.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
9 years ago
I do think that study is using some fuzzy math. And yeah, if you do appetizers it's cheaper than buffet which is cheaper than sit down dinner. Cash bar is cheaper than wine and beer which is cheaper than full bar. I went to a fucking dry wedding once. Left before cake.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
9 years ago
$32K is cheap compared to what the divorce will cost you.
avatar for Ugluck75
Ugluck75
9 years ago
Ouch, that is ridiculous- you could buy a car for that. If I get married again I hopefully can elope but will go on a nice honeymoon.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
9 years ago
We only spent 26k, but it was 26 years ago. Other than buying Cisco many moons ago it was my best financial investment ever. Great marriage but a 1700% increase in an investment is tough to beat.
avatar for MrBater2010
MrBater2010
9 years ago
I think the Atlanta Federal Prison will marry you for free on Friday afternoons.

Yeah, I am single as I have posted before. And I remember if she is pregnant you can skip the blood test. But then she could lose Medicaid and she can't go on your insurance, because it is pre-existing.

99 Problems
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
9 years ago
I spent $235 on our wedding or less than 1% of the headline article. We applied the rest as a down payment on the house.

I also agree with shadowcat's comment.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
The more money and bullshit spent on the wedding, the worst the results!

If it were up to me, the people that publish Brides Magazine would be lined up against a wall and shot.

SJG
avatar for Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx
Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx
9 years ago
Fuck that....just go to the courthouse and save all of that money on a honeymoon and a down payment of a house or something.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
If I got to live life over again, I would be a divorce lawyer.

I'd offer a package deal, wedding with all the extras, plus prepaid divorce lawyering for both sides if needed.

SJG
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