There has been some good discussion topics lately and in the past but I'm not sure I've ever seen this one posted before? How many strip club patrons are scared of women?
I'm curious how many of those you see in a club you think are actually scared shitless to interact with a civilian woman. Well, except their own mother.
Most of the people I see are older people or married people who want to cop a feel. Every jonce in a while you see a newbie walking in with friends. I haven't met a single guy who seemed super nervous there.
But I know I started going because I was nervous and easily flustered around civies, and ya it definitely improved my game...so
Men (and women!) who like to see tits and naked chicks.
Old men, middle aged married folks, and the young and horny (military guys here)
SC give me game and make me fearless. Alot of the stripper pickup lines they give me I can use at civie women. All of the interactions with strippers, each one is a little bit of adrenaline to wash away your worries and fears.
I like to go to titty bars
I see lots of guys who act too timid and scared to approach a dancer. But I think many of them do this because they are cheap.
One time a table of old guys next to me (I'd guess 70s) were staring intently at the DS as she did some table dances for me. They never took their eyes off of her for multiple songs. So I went over to them when she finished a song and told them they had good taste in women, and explained that they needed to give the young lady some money if they were going to enjoy the view as much as they obviously did. I suggested that a $20 tip to the DS was the least they could do given how much they enjoyed her dancing. They refused. And as best I could tell they never spent a penny on a single dancer all night. They just stared at the dancers that other guys were paying. I think this is true of lots of the customers that appear timid or scared. They're just cheap.
^Preach, brother!
The first few times I went to a SC by myself, I was very nervous. I was nervous as I walked through the parking lot, entered the club, and then sat by myself. I saw girls I liked, but wasn't sure how to approach them or what to say. After a few visits, as I became familiar with everything, the nerves went away. Now the entire visit is a fun experience and I have complete confidence approaching the dancers.
In civilian life, I'm not nervous around women in general, but I get nervous around hot women I don't know, unless I have some reason to talk to them. I guess I have a fear of rejection, so I'm afraid to just walk up to a hot stranger and start a conversation. If I meet a pretty woman online, I am very comfortable on the first date.
It's just the cold approach that I have trouble with. As I've gained confidence interacting with hot strippers, it's helping my confidence with civilians too. My dilemma now is whether I want a civilian girlfriend or whether I want to hang out at the strip club. I'll have a pretty "match" on Tinder who I'm communicating with and I'm not sure if I want to go spend $100 plus on a date or $100 plus at a SC. Lately, I've been avoiding asking out the civies and going to the SC instead.
I dont approach dancers because I want the girls who are thirsty. If I see a new hottie I'll make eye contact and tip an extra dollar or two when she's on stage.
@DaOnion
Same here for more me more or less. There is one thing that I can't get over yet. When I walk into my SC on fri/sat, I generally feel rage and anger for an hour in the SC, that I am going piss $100-$250 away on "junk love" from a "fast love restaurant". I chase away the first 30-45 minutes of dancers who approach me, since they are the same old 20 dancers I wouldn't fuck for free. Eventually a fav becomes free, maybe my mood will improve depending on how much talking and eye gazing we do, sometimes the mood won't improve. The 1st VIP room trip is hit or miss whether I enjoy it even though I've done it with that dancer before. Usually due to sheer numbers there will be 1 new dancer that fri/sat night that is fuckable, and 1-2 test LDs later the rush of the new dancer for sure makes me happy. I have a policy to never VIP room a new dancer the same night I first see her work, that will be on the 2nd visit. Eventually towards closing some unfuckable dancers will sit with me even though I wont be buying LDs for them (they will get a couple dollars for their time). These final dancers, even though I see them not as women but as loose friends, finally make the night worth it if the new girl didn't nor the VIP with the fav did. If I get a dancers number that night, the opportunity of the unknown makes me glow. On the motorcoach going home along the highway, with its engine purring and HVAC blowing on my face, I remember how angry I was walking in the door of the SC, but now I have no regrets what I did, and it was all worth it. I get home, get a liquor bottle, turn on some SC style music on the TV, and drink till I pass out on the couch thinking of the stripper's tits faces and voices I saw and heard that night. When I wake up, I wonder if was a dream. I check my pants pocket, and it has my SC wallet, I open it, and know last night was real.
Next week, same anger walking in the door, and no regrets after.
S88: I hear you! But I encourage you to get over it. When I go to the club I'm going to drop significant money, and a bad mood would ruin my ROI. I've cancelled SC trips that had a logistical advantage because I realized I just wasn't in he mood. Like tonight! My g/f cancelled so I was thinking of a trip but I decided to just go home. Yes, by the time you leave the club all is well...but I prefer to go with positive expectation, not bad feelings.
@James: That's my first choice too. The problem is, most of the thirsty dancers are ones I don't want dances from. Once in a while the stars align and a thirsty dancer happens to be just my type, but that's the exception and not the rule unfortunately.
Damn, s88, that's very self aware.
@rockstar: I agree. I try to only go when I'm in a good mood and looking forward to it.
@S88: I like the descriptive writing. Your experience was an interesting read.
What I see are mostly older guys trying to hold conversations with younger dancers. There is no fear, but plenty of awkwardness from both parties. Also many young immigrant blue collar workers that the dancers tend to ignore due to their aggressiveness. Also no fear there, but a over the top cockiness that many dancers don't seem to find appealing.
Why would I be afraid of a dancer?
If they are packing heat, that's one thing. We can trade rounds with our Glocks. :)
Lopaw, do you ever run into other like-minded ladies as customers? If I remember correctly, you mentioned one other that did not impress you. But not sure if you ever mentioned others?
I rarely club on Friday or Saturday when the clubs are often busiest. But have seen guys who look like they are socially awkward and wondered if the only interaction they have with women was in the club?
Maybe this came to mind because that idiot from San Jose started posting again? You just never know what will pop into my mind these days.
I got divorced when I was 60 years old after a 27 year marriage. That is a long time to be out of circulation and I had certainly lost any game I ever had. I'll admit that talking to hot women got me all tongue tied. Hitting the clubs got me over that but it also changed my feelings about dating civies. I was a very desirable bachelor for women my own age or even those in their 40's but I had no desire to get tied down to just 1 woman again. I wanted what I had missed for those 27 years. Strip clubs offered that and I plan to keep at it as long as I can.
@Corvus - to date I have only encountered one other female PL. She was very nice, loved to get her drink on (I have never seen her at a nude club, only topless where booze is served), and she is very very butch. The first time I saw her I almost had her kicked out of the ladies room because I thought that she was a guy!
Interesting conversation.
An update to my last post
"On the motorcoach going home along the highway, with its engine purring and HVAC blowing on my face"
is upload.wikimedia.org style of bus. Not a urban bus such as rapidtransit-press.com . I dont drive so I always take public transit to the SC. The Greyhound style bus is quiet inside, the drivers often keep the lights off, and watching out the window as buildings along the highway pass by is hypnotic just like being buzzed in a SC with flashing lights is hypnotic. The bus ride is really a serene place to zone out after being in the SC for some hours.
"There is one thing that I can't get over yet. When I walk into my SC on fri/sat, I generally feel rage and anger for an hour in the SC, that I am going piss $100-$250 away on "junk love" from a "fast love restaurant"."
I said fri/sat night specifically. I am very picky over dancers and the ones I pick are high demand ones. If I arrange a "date" on a monday or tuesday at the SC with a fav, I never feel rage or anger going into the SC, since my favs are actually accessible on those days and its not "wanna dance". On a weekday there will be atleast 20 minutes of chit chat if not an hour or 2 with my fav. My favs usually excuse themselves to go greet new random customers for 5-20 minutes and come back to me once the other customer runs out of money or decides to spend none. They say something like "babe, I goto go make some money, I'll be back to you when Im done". Aslong as they come back when the other customer is done spending $, I'm happy. It gets awkward when you make a date with fav #1 at the SC on a monday, and you discover #2 is there randomly and she starts wanting your money and attention but you came just for #1. With my fav either sitting on my leg, or lying on me in the seat with my arms around her waist, talking about random crap, I am in heaven then. Getting "release" at a SC is expensive and I think pointless. I always can jerk off for free in the SC bathroom or at home and fantasize over the dancer I just saw. I see the VIP room as more to get the dancer nude and make some good "HD quality" memories for later rather than getting an orgasm.
I've tried regular escorts and hookers before, they are a waste of money. I barely get hard and they have no kissing rules. Only a pornstar escort works for me, but that is a once in a lifetime opportunity $ and location wise. I'd need multiple hours to possibly get a connection with an escort, and there goes the new car fund. With strippers, multiple visits are affordable and a connection and a smile is possible. Without chemistry, I might as well fuck my dog in the ass with astroglide for free, laws aside. I can't bring myself to fuck a corpse, and the typical escort or hooker is a corpse lying on your mattress for 1 hour. Im not a necrophile. A very bad experience I had was an escort saying I have to wait while she drinks or does drugs before I am allowed to touch her because she "isn't in the mood". Now Im the roofie rapist fucking a corpse on my bed. Never again.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on escorts versus dancers. The whole escort thing is just too sterile for paying $250-450/hr for multiple hours or encounters. I have way more fun for less money with dancers.
Again, thanks for sharing. (nodding in agreement)
The dancers at my usual club tell me that the majority of the Asian men they see in the club are terrified of women. The more confident the woman the more scared they are. In a strip club, they just need to screw up the courage to say yes when a dancer asks if they want a dance. I always thought this was BS until I took a contract with a company from India. Almost all the men that came over from the head office for a few weeks were terrified of approaching a woman. They loved the nude clubs and went every weekend.
I think most people above are talking about overt, noticeable fear. I think that's rare to see, sometimes the super young guys and female customers show it a bit. But I also think the vast majority of customers, TO SOME EXTENT OR OTHER, have more subtle hangups. Hell, even among the hardcore PL crowd here, we have lots of guys who, when asked by a stripper if they want a dance, answer "maybe later" or pretend they're waiting for someone, because they have some kind of hangup or fear of just saying no. There's guys who say to change clubs, as the best way to fire your CF, so you don't have to face her in the club and tell her. I can give multiple examples of even the PL crowd using passive aggressive excuses that, IMO, indicate at least a low level of fear and intimidation, or at minimum, a fear of any type of conflict. And the non-PL "amateur" crowd is even more subject to alpha female aggressive sales tactics, I've seen it countless times.
^^Yeah if your talking about subtle social fears, then yes- there is plenty there (and here) to go around. But many of those "fears" are understandable, such as not wanting to create a scene with a pissed off stripper, for example.
sclvr, I guess for me, there's understandable, and then there's understandable. It is certainly the case that some strippers are batshit crazy, or so aggressive that normal social interaction doesn't work. And hey, this is a hobby, who needs the aggravation just to prove a point. And there, avoidance might be the best tactic. But, I think in the majority of cases -- like guys who are afraid of saying "no thanks" when asked about a dance, or guys moving on from their CF -- that is NOT the case. It's unreasonable fear and lack of confidence, to some extent or other; hell, the majority of girls like "no thanks" BETTER than being lied to or being told "maybe later" or whatever. A lot of this behavior is in the guys' heads, not a concern about something that is likely to actually happen.
I think it's lack of confidence and a lack of understanding that dancers (or sex workers in general) are NSA** interactions and/relationships. They offer "sex work" (attention, interaction, and sometimes sex) in exchange for money.
**No Strings Attached
^Sex workers as opposed to civilian women. Customers don't understand that a simple "No, thank you" is all that is needed.
For many people going to strip clubs means crossing over boundaries they have not before crossed:
I think learning to do this, and in a venue which is actually safer than the outside world, is the benefit of strip clubs.
Having said this though, lots of guys there are always going to be holding back some and being cautious about engaging. They will be holding reservations about the women.
SJG
@SJG ditto
Most of the P/L's I see are decrepit old men with money and have no fear. The 20 somethings are the ones who are intimidated and are the easy marks; I know I was an easy mark when I was in my 20's. I would actually be nervous driving to the club! Being a performer though, it didn't take long to get over the stage fright and now I go to the club with the confidence of playing music in front of 200 drunks. If I pretend I can handle it, it turns out I actually can!