Experimenting with writing short stories...

poledancer83
Narnia
I've wrote a few short stories just to pass time. Let me know if you think they are any good.

Meeting starts as usual. Drink specials and song selections and here I am again at work. I down some drinks to take off the edge and now its time to put on the fake me. Fake nails, makeup, fake eyelashes, fake tan, hell even a fake name. I here my name echo through the club. I am up and on stage watching the crowd. 18th birthdays and retirement parties, they are all the same. They chose this club and some choose me. As the songs play I think of bills, family and that I need to make plans to meet a lady about a new apartment. Then all the sudden back to reality. Once again I did the impossible. I am exposed. I crawl and rub and shake and collect the money. I hear the talk. Hot sexy nice ass. I also hear slut to fat and ugly. As the song stops I collect my cash and leave the stage. I cuss myself because once again I am turned on. I am fully exposed and feel as if I should be ashamed but I am not. My manager comes up to me tells me someone wants a dance. I fix my make up and get my self together. Another drink to calm down. Panties and bra are on and here I go. Head held high and doing what I love even when sometimes I feel its wrong. A nice man is waiting for me. He compliments me but not in a way most girls are complimented. I get a nice ass or comments about my tits. Most would be mad but again im not. He tips I dance and again I feel the wetness and sensation betray me again. I grumble and take the money. I silently, with every dance and set pay bills in my head. I am able to dance, be naked and talk to people while still not even thinking about what I am doing. Its then that I realize I am proud. I am a strong female, a dancer, not only a dancer but a god damn stripper. As the club closes and I make it home to my bed I can be me again. I lay there naked smelling of body spray and smoke. Tomorrow I will wake up and ride the roller coaster one more time. I smile and close my eyes. Maybe I chose the job or maybe the job chose me.

Thoughts?? Excuse grammar and spelling lol

12 comments

Latest

dallas702
9 years ago
Go for it Poledancer! Your "stream on thought" style can be entertaining, and you do write well. Good teaser.

I strongly suggest that you get someone to edit your stories. Do NOT try to edit them yourself. Once you have written a story, you will read what you wanted to write, not what is written (all writers have the same problem). A friend (or a professional) editing will help tremendously.

Also, if you are planning on writing "stripper" or "slice of life" stories to start, you might try publishing over at literotica.com where you can get loads of help and lots of critique and comments.
lopaw
9 years ago
Write some girl/girl stuff and I might read it.
rickthevulture
9 years ago
You should write about vultures. I could give you insights into the complex life of a high ranking genius vulture that likes to have hot and steamy sex with female hairless apes and kicks the asses of those who insult the honor of those named rick. Squawk!
Bavarian
9 years ago
Good job PD
jackslash
9 years ago
Keep writing. You will find you get better with practice. However, if you're thinking of writing as a career, my advice is to keep you day job (or night job depending on your shift). It is very hard to make a living as a writer. I was a professional writer for 2 years, and I have never worked so hard for so little money.
s88
9 years ago
Sounds like something I'd read in Esquire or Cosmo under a pen name of a "former stripper". Not a bad job.
sclvr5005
9 years ago
Sorry but stories from a strippers POV are a dime a dozen. You gotta either spice it up or look for a new angle to really stand out.
Corvus
9 years ago
Good start, keep working at it. Writing is tough for most people and gets easier for some also. There are some minor grammatical errors, but in this day and age that is not unusual. I will second @dallas702's comment to find someone to look at/edit your writing. You used "here" when you meant to use "hear". Those kind of errors are hard to spot yourself.

Keep writing and you will improve. Do it for yourself and you will come to love it.
rockstar666
9 years ago
I also write a lot, and I even posted one of my efforts as an article recently.

Suggestions? Paragraphs! One long one makes it hard for the reader. Plus you'll have your storytelling clearer when you organize it in paragraphs. Each paragraph is a thought and they should lead on into the next.

Your narrative has two themes: the drudgery of the daily grind of work along with your almost scornful attitude of having a sexual response. And in a rather cliche way tie them in the end of the story with, "Well I'm a strong woman who pays my bills". As sclvr said, BTDT. To be a good writer, you need to have some surprises and originality. Something new to the reader.

But stay with it!!! The ONLY way to be a good writer is to write. A lot. And also, read a lot and as a writer you will see the structures that the pro's have, which is why people pay money to read what they write.

rogertex
9 years ago
Thumbs up
ilbbaicnl
9 years ago
You obviously have potential. Have you though about taking a continuing adult education class (usually cheap) in writing? You should get cracking, as you might have to do an unpaid internship or two to break into writing as an occupation. A lot easier when you can support yourself with fewer working hours as a dancer.
DaOnion
9 years ago
You are very good with words. You have the best words. Donald better watch out.
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