What would you do?

I felt somewhat ripped off by a favorite dancer last time I saw her and am trying to decide whether to see her again and spend money on her. What would you do in this situation? How much do you let your favorite get away with?

Here's the full story:

About six months ago, I met a 11/10 dancer. She had a sweet personality and was red hot in the VIP room. She actually lives in a state far away and has a normal job there, but comes to this other state to do her dirty work. I don't actually live in that state either. I got her phone number and last month she let me know she was coming back.

So I went and saw her on Super Bowl Sunday, when the club was pretty slow. We did one VIP room and she was more business like. It wasn't red hot like last time, but still fun. Part of the reason was that I was feeling so tired. We hung out on one of the couches by the stage for a while, and I started to feel better and more high energy after a few drinks. I didn't mind spending big on her, and I really wanted a fun weekend. She asked if I wanted to do VIP again and I told her that I was staying in a hotel room in a nearby city and that she should come see me there. She seemed open to the idea, but didn't like how far away it was. She said that she was staying somewhere a lot closer. Well, the club was closing in about an hour, and she suggested doing the VIP again and then having me take her back to where she was staying.

Now, the VIP time is bought in blocks of 30 minutes. I actually didn't look at the time when we went in, but I'm fairly sure she cut the time short. Usually the bouncer comes over and lets you know the time is up, but this time, my dancer said we were out of time. I believe the reason she did this was because she wouldn't be able to do any other VIPs if the club was closing within 30 minutes, so she shorted me.

Well, that was okay by me because of what was going to happen when we left. The club closes and I wait in the car for a while for her to change clothes, get her stuff, finish up and come out (all in all, I was probably waiting for an hour from when our VIP ended to when she came out). I followed her directions to where she was staying and...She says "Okay, thanks. It shouldn't be hard to find your way back, see you next time!"

I felt like a chump after spending big money on her, waiting for an hour, driving her back and then getting nothing. I deleted her number from my contact list and put her number in the spam folder. Once in a while I look at the spam messages though, and I saw that she sent message on Sunday saying she is back at the club and hopes to see me again.

Now I am feeling more soft and thinking of going. While I felt tricked, she never said that we were going to fuck. Likewise, I don't actually know if she shorted me on time, it just felt like it. It is easy to find good looking strippers, but finding extremely hot ones who exactly fit your taste is much harder. I really don't care about money and just want to have fun.

So what would you do?

21 comments

  • lopaw
    9 years ago
    I'm confused about what happened when you went to her place after the club closed.
    What exactly happened? Did you guys hang out?
  • larryfisherman
    9 years ago
    She played you, it happens to all of us. I would just forget about her.
  • Digitech
    9 years ago
    Lopaw - We didn't go inside together. I pulled up and she got out the passenger side of my car, saying something to the effect of 'Okay, thanks. See you next time.'
  • Ch3ll
    9 years ago
    Are there other things you can enjoy in the area near the strip club or where your hotel was? If so, and driving there isn't like 2 or more hours I'd say go a couple of more times and see what's up. IMO it serves some value that she allowed you to take her to her hotel if this was knly you guys 2nd time in thr club.
  • lopaw
    9 years ago
    I see.
    You'd be awful forgiving to let that go. She had to know damn well what you were expecting.
    I dunno......maybe give her one more shot to redeem herself (with YOU making all the rules) and see what happens.
  • TheeOSU
    9 years ago
    Just like she has lots of options with other guys you also have lots of options with other strippers. If a dancer plays me in a disrespectful way, she will never get anything from me again. Move on.
  • K
    9 years ago
    Don't waste your time or money. And next time clarify if you will hang out before you drive anyone back.
  • jester214
    9 years ago
    She took advantage of your generosity but I'm not sure she really ripped you off (unless she shorted you on time and I blame you as much as her for that).

    If I waited an hour to give a relative stranger a ride home then I'd expect some consideration of some kind, even if it was just heartfelt thanks and the promise of a free dance. Since you didn't get that, I'd say fuck it.
  • Timex345
    9 years ago
    I enjoy this website because many of the things written on this site have happened to me as well.
    I am afraid you were promised some OTC to get you to spend money in the club.
    Being played by a stripper has happened to a lot of us. It goes with the territory.
    Remember that these women are not the most honest creatures by there chosen field of work.
    I say see her again and ask for some time back from the last VIP and see what happens.
    When a girl plays me, it upsets me and I feel like confronting her. But, most of the time I move on and
    find a girl who better fits what I am looking for. I rarely return if a girl overcharges me on dances.
    I recommend keep enjoying yourself at the clubs and keep an open mind for other girls.
    I learned the hard way not to get laser focused on one dancer. Test the waters and you'll soon forget about
    the traveling liar.
  • shadowcat
    9 years ago
    She played you. Move on.
  • maho
    9 years ago
    Given that she ranked an 11/10 on your scale, I say give it another shot.

    Don't think I would ask for any sort of "credits" from last time. My approach would be to see her in the club again, but not do VIP. Explicitly state that you would love to spend some time with her OTC where you could do more with her, and give her something for her time. She says yes, great! She says no, you at least tied, and aren't out any more money.

    Then again, what do I know. I'm still working on my first OTC experience....hahaha. Guess I would just try keeping it straight and real with her, and see where it goes.
  • maho
    9 years ago
    Meant I would only give her more money for her OTC time and fun.
  • londonguy
    9 years ago
    I am trying to see this from her side as well as yours. You said she seemed open to the idea but not whether she actually agreed either by saying so or by implication. If it's yes to either which is how I read it then she played you. Blank her if you cross paths again.
  • rockie
    9 years ago
    If she's good entertainment for you - give her some rope. If she's easily replaceable - cut her loose. Knowing what you know today, you can manage your interaction with her better next time.
  • JohnSmith69
    9 years ago
    You should have been much more explicit about the OTC opportunity. You were passive about it, and she seized the opportunity to take advantage of the ambiguity of the discussions. Most strippers will do this if you let them. You're listening to the little head, she's listening to the big head, and the two are on totally different wave lengths. So when you get to the pivotal moment, she says bye.

    I'd see her again. I'd be careful about monitoring the VIP time, as you always should especially when you suspect but can't prove a past rip off. And I'd have a very clear and unambiguous OTC discussion. Anything could happen. She could rip you off and you'll be done with her. She could just end up being a good ITC provider. You could get extras. Or you could end up in bed with her.

    There is no way to know what will happen given your limited interaction with her so far. Your one visit wasn't enough to judge.

    Alternatively, if she's a blond or redhead with natural tits, you could put me in touch with her and I'll give you my professional opinion after spending an evening with her. Your call.

  • jackslash
    9 years ago
    You got played by a stripper. I'm glad that's never happened to me. :)

    If you want to see her in the club, go ahead. But she doesn't want to fuck you OTC.
  • Cashman1234
    9 years ago
    Sadly, it seems you got played. Nothing wrong with that - as its happened to many of us. If you decide to go back - it's imperative that you follow what JS69 said. Currently she has the upper hand - and she knows it. She shorted you on VIP - she made you sit in you car and wait - and she got a free ride to her hotel. All of that time and effort was uncompensated - so don't let her play you next time. Take control early - and if she doesn't say yes - then move on. Remember - she needs to agree upfront - as she has already showed that she will exploit any opportunity to play you.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    9 years ago
    I would dump her, but jot this down as a learning opportunity with regards to just asking for what you want.

    I'm amazed at how many guys take the vague / passive route when it comes to OTC and ITC action. I've been turned down for OTC/ITC quite a bit, but I can count on one hand the number of times where I've had to deal with an angry / offended dancer (and still have enough fingers left over to flip someone off... in London). And I capably survived those few times a dancer got pissed because I asked for sex.

    Dancers blatantly market their sexuallity. And we can blatantly (but politely...) ask for it. They can say 'no'.
  • Lone_Wolf
    9 years ago
    I suggest sending her a very candid text asking for OTC when she returns. Be very clear, but tactful, regarding date, time, cash, and location. If she comes back with a vague non-response, that is your answer.
  • rickdugan
    9 years ago
    She played you for both the second VIP and the ride home. But you made it easy for her by relying upon innuendo rather than directly asking her about what she would need for some fun OTC. In my experience, most girls won't flat out lie if you put them on the spot, but plenty are willing to play along with guys who are operating under faulty assumptions. It probably didn't help that you were so eager to please and fattened her wallet up so much ITC with multiple VIPs either.

    We live and we learn. We've all been there, so don't take my post as taunting, but rather just direct. But I wouldn't bother with her again, not only because of what she did, but also because she probably has you in the dupe category in her head. If you go back to her after what she did, it will only confirm that belief and lead her to try to get over on you again. In my humble opinion you are better off starting fresh with the next contestant.
  • topmandd
    9 years ago
    If you like it that much - be more direct next time - i would say it's the burn me once aspect. My 2nd fav shorted me on dance counts the first time - but now i just keep better track and actually with vip - it's a fixed price anyways. Now if she'd be more consistent on schedule. LOL It may take some time - but there are PLENTY other fish and i wouldn't have a single problem going back to that club and grabbing someone else right in front of this chick. Gotta remember - it's their business mode - and that's half the trick to turn to your favor. Key is know what you can spend and enjoy it.
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