How to avoid a DUI

JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high


I do this every time I drive if I have been smoking weed. It works equally well for alcohol. I just did this last night after my porn production was completed to make sure that I was OK to drive home.

Stop consuming your drug of choice at least 30 minutes before you hope to leave. An hour would be better. You want to be sure that the drug is not going to have additional effects upon you while you are driving.

Find a private place where you have a little bit of room. In a strip club, I usually go into the bathroom stall, although I have also done it in a VIP room after we were finished.

Once you find that place, conduct a field sobriety test on yourself. You can Google field sobriety tests to find out what this involves. I usually stand on one leg, walk in a straight line, and touch the tip of my nose.

Do not be an idiot and cheat on the test. You either do it right and pass or you fail.if you fail in the bathroom, you will fail when a cop pulls you over. Do not drive until you are able to pass the test.

I have had to stay in the club for up to an extra two hours before in order to meet the standard. It's no big deal. Just stay and watch naked women for a while longer until its safe.

Do not go by the vague how I feel test. The fact that you feel like you can drive does not mean that you can drive. Do the field sobriety tests. And don't cheat.

If your drug of choice makes your eyes red, always carry drops with you and use them. Not only do you want to not be unlawfully under the influence of anything, but you need to not look like you are under the influence of anything.

And if you have a concealed carry permit, take the gun out of the car before you leave the house if you are going to be drinking or taking any other mind altering drug. Even if you pass the field sobriety test, you do not want to have a gun if you are in anyway under the influence of anything to any degree.

And never, ever, under any circumstances have alcohol or drugs in the car. Yes, the DS violates this all the time. But it's her going to jail not me, and I have told her repeatedly not to do it.

This advice is worth much more than you guys are paying for it.

33 comments

Latest

  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    If this is something you normally do - I would also recommend buying a higher end breathalyzer that taps into your smartphone. They run about $90 at Best Buy. Whole heck of a lot cheaper than a DUI.
  • twentyfive
    •
    9 years ago
    Quick question JS is the firearm ok in a lockbox, if its in the trunk ?
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    If alcohol is your drug, and if you are a serious drinker, then yes get a breathalyzer. But that should be in addition to, not instead of, the field sobriety test. You can be arrested for DUI if you fail a field sobriety test even if the breathalyzer shows you under the limit. I also would not fully trust your breathalyzer to have the identical results to the ones that a cop would use.
  • rockstar666
    •
    9 years ago
    The way to not get pulled over is to be invisible. That means look like every other car: stay in your lane, stop at red lights, go the speed limit or no more than 5 over. If you do these simple things you're just another car on the road.

    If you CAN'T do these things you shouldn't be driving.
  • mikeya02
    •
    9 years ago
    I noticed on COPS that there are different field tests in different parts of the country. Some of them are ridiculous.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    25, it depends upon the law of the state that you are in. But cops everywhere have a lot of discretion in these cases. I wouldn't risk it.
  • GACA
    •
    9 years ago
    Thanks
  • bvino
    •
    9 years ago
    Last time I saw that behavior in the men's room at a strip club I thought it was a mating dance. Thanks for the clarification. I haven't risked this behavior since I was seventeen.
  • twentyfive
    •
    9 years ago
    Thanks JS I will certainly take that under advisement
  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    Use your blinker!

    I know several people who were at a stop light, all traffic in their lane turns right, but they didn't use their turn signal which was the excuse the police needed to pull them over.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    Rockstar, I agree with what you say to a degree although you have to consider random check points. They will catch you if you try to avoid them. The Supreme Court has been very liberal in what cops can do at a random check point. So you may get tested at a random stop even if your driving is stellar.

    As for driving invisible, you might be able to do this under the influence of weed. It hurts your brain but a high person who really concentrates can often do very well at somewhat complex tasks like driving. I don't recommend this but it's true. But alcohol is a totally different matter. If you are impaired by alcohol, you may well think that you are driving invisible when in fact you're impairment is obvious to others. If you genuinely pass a self imposed field sobriety test then you will almost certainly be fine.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    Just pass the three basic tests that mentiined and you will likely pass any others as well.
  • jackslash
    •
    9 years ago
    Uber or Lyft.
  • crsm27
    •
    9 years ago
    Here is the new test that cops use. This is for everything to see if you are impaired.

    It is the eye test. Now JS you will need a partner to do it.

    But this is how it goes.... The officer tells you to look straight ahead. Then they will instruct you to look at a pen, finger or something they are holding up. Then they will tell you to follow it with just your eyes and not move your head. If you move your head they will tell you to start over. If you keep failing to not move your head.... you are hammered. But if you can not move your head they will watch your eyes.... at about a 45 degree angle your eyes will twitch if you are under the influence. Now with alcohol you will be at about a .1 BAC for this to occur.

    If you don't believe me.... Try it out sometime. do it when you are sober with someone... then the next time you have been drinking or someone has been drinking.

  • Subraman
    •
    9 years ago
    I am guessing you guys have seriously looked into other forms of transportation? For 20 years I drove to and from the strip club, for no other reason than I was too lazy to look for other ways of doing it, and I made up excuses about wanting relatively more freedom of schedule, etc. But really, switching to a no-driving policy involved almost no compromises whatsoever. The train runs every hour during the slowest periods, and as often as every 10 minutes during high volume periods. Between taxis, uber, and lyft, I never have to wait more than 5 minutes to get picked up ... which really isn't any more time than it would take me to walk to a parking lot, pay, wait for the parking attendant to bring my car.

    I realize this just plain isn't an option for many of you, who SC in less urban areas. But I'd bet anything it's an option for a whole lot of people who are driving. It is awesome, the train is relaxing plus I can get some work done or read tuscl :), and I'm not putting anyone's health at risk.
  • Tiredtraveler
    •
    9 years ago
    Best way to avoid a dui while clubbing is to not drink... It is also the best way to not spend to much money.
  • thaJuicelayer
    •
    9 years ago
    Best way to avoid a DUI is to not be a stupid piece of shit and have consideration for others around you
  • twentyfive
    •
    9 years ago
    Subra down here in S Florida unless you are in Miami metro area or downtown areas in ft lauderdale & WPB it's rough public transportation is nearly non existent Uber & Lyft aren't always available, taxi cabs are unreliable and expensive from my home to the airport ends up costing 90-125 depending on whether the livery co has someone available as a result I have been clubbing near my home and never having any drinks other than beer never more than 2 an hour. My personal preference would be scotch but I only indulge when I go with a buddy. That's the way it is in many parts of the country
  • gammanu95
    •
    9 years ago
    @twentyfive: Must be unloaded and inaccessible to the driver, I.e. In the trunk. If you want to carry protection while you drive, get a concealed carry permit.
  • gammanu95
    •
    9 years ago
    ^^Florida specific in Louisiaa, you can set a .50 Desert Eagle with a round in the pipe on your dashboard, and it is perfectly legal
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    27, that test is much harder to perform which is why I didn't mention it. Do it if you can but if you pass the 3 tests I mentioned you'll most likely pass any others.

    Obviously not driving is the ideal solution if you are going to partake, and that's often what I do. But it's sometimes not a practical alternative.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    Legal advice on concealed carry laws is an entirely different subject. I know a lot about gun laws if anybody cares, but it doesn't fit this post. My only point here is that if you have consumed any meaningful amount of any mind altering drug, stay completely away from guns whether you are intoxicated or not.
  • twentyfive
    •
    9 years ago
    To gammanu I have had a CCP for over 30 years now, l generally know the rules regarding alcohol and firearms usually if I enter a club I will lock my firearm in a lockbox in my auto but I have always had a suspicion that if you get detained by the police depending on the individuals officer that they might try to polish their brass by adding charges, even if later dropped that was the reason for my question.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    9 years ago
    You could always not drink before expecting to drive.

    Yeah, that's me being an asshole again.
  • twentyfive
    •
    9 years ago
    No GMD you are not an asshole, you are right mostly about the fact no one has the right to put innocents at risk, I do agree with you, unfortunately the laws are draconian when it comes to this behavior I would be willing to bet there are very few who have not been guilty of this at one time or another, as such a first offense where no one was harmed deserves a break.
  • SmithWV
    •
    9 years ago
    I usually stop drinking an hour to two hours before I leave and consume copious amounts of H2O and do scales before I head out. Since I was a kid I have played the piano. To be sure that my mind is sober enough to react, I run through the scales using both hands and whisper the notes as i go along.
  • gawker
    •
    9 years ago
    JS69 - I drink very little and have not considered this as an issue for me. I live in a rural area 35 miles from my CF's apartment. She smokes weed voraciously and today's medical grade weed is so much stronger than I'm used to from 40+ years ago. I just take a couple of hits and I'm floating. I left her apartment recently and within 2 blocks knew I shouldn't be driving. Time & distance were really distorted. I pulled into a Burger King and stayed there two hours until I felt capable of safely driving. Your suggestion of self administering a field sobriety test makes sense. Thanks for the advice.
  • gawker
    •
    9 years ago
    And by the way, I love fucking her while high on weed. The sensations are magnified. I was eating her pussy recently when she asked, do you mind if I smoke while you eat me? I love to watch you lick me while I lay back and smoke.
    Am I just another sex object?
  • sharkhunter
    •
    9 years ago
    I can do those field sobriety tests a whole lot easier after a few beers than without.

    I've said the same thing about getting the high scores on some arcade video games in the bars. I scored better and got high scores after drinking a few beers. I did a lot better than without any alcohol. I did get worse rapidly after more than a few. I read a study that agreed with my experience that at least with some people, a little bit of alcohol can act as a stimulant. If you can't stand on one leg or touch your nose, I hope you aren't driving.

    What I hate sometimes are pushy waitresses if they see you not drinking for a whole hour or two saying these tables are reserved for drinking customers. Well that was just one time years ago.
  • NinaBambina
    •
    9 years ago
    I've never gotten a DUI or had to take a field sobriety test, but I worry that I would fail a field sobriety test even while sober. If I know my BAC is nowhere near the legal limit, I would refuse the field sobriety test and just ask for the breathalyzer which is completely legal.

    Now here in MI officer's can give you DUI/OWI at their own discretion, even if you blow under a .08 (the legal limit). This mostly applies to people who blow a .06-.07 range, especially after failing a field sobriety test. However, if you are in the .04 range and below, and either pass or decline a field sobriety test, as long as you have a good lawyer the case could easily get dismissed.

    Field sobrierty tests are just tools for incrimination IMO. Many cops issue a breathalyzer even after people pass field sobriety tests. It's BS.
  • NinaBambina
    •
    9 years ago
    Officers*
  • NinaBambina
    •
    9 years ago
    The best way to avoid a DUI is to not drink and drive. Getting a high-quality breathalyzer is smart for those who do plan on having a few drinks.

    I always said I would NEVER, EVER drink and drive. Then one night, almost a year ago, I had a few too many drinks at work. I figured a Detroit cop won't give me a DUI; so instead of driving home to the suburb in which I live, I decided to drive to my mom's that night since she lives in Detroit.

    I made it about a mile before crashing and seeing my airbag covered in blood in front of me. Seconds later I saw flashing lights - the cops were behind me. I got out of the car, they asked if I needed EMS, I declined. They asked where I was coming from and if I had been drinking and I was honest with them and asked them to please not give me a DUI. They asked for my license, registration, insurance, which I provided. They ran my info and I once again asked, in tears, for them not to give me a DUI. They said they called a tow to take my car to impound and called me a cab to take me to my mom's house. No DUI, no tickets.

    So while I was right, the Detroit cops didn't give me a DUI, I totalled my beautiful car and couldn't work for a week because my face was awful. For a good 10 days my lips looked like I had gotten botox.
  • motorhead
    •
    9 years ago
    Thanks John for the long post. It could be said much simplier -- just don't drink and drive.

    I've said it a million times before. I can drink a beer at home. I can't see young naked women at home. Strip clubs do not mean you must drink.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion