A somewhat uncomfortable realization
JamesSD
California
I've been clubbing a lot so far in 2016. Historically I average about one trip a week, but I think I've gone 8 or 9 times so far in January. Cover is only $10 with free lunch and I don't always buy dances, but I'm definitely less excited by girls in thongs and naked on stage than I was when I started clubbing.
I've been getting dances from my CF for around a year. There have been some breaks when she wasn't dancing or when I didn't go for a couple weeks. But typically we saw each other once every two weeks or so for some excellent dances. Good mileage for SD (at least for a girl as hot as she is. She's definitely been dancing more, so I've been seeing her once a week lately. This should be a good thing.
But.
She used to make me reliably LDK, no problem. She at least acted like she enjoyed making it happen. Two trips ago it barely happened, and not for lack of trying on her part. This time it didn't. No issues getting hard, no drop in mileage. Just wasn't feeling it, didn't want to deal with the mess in my pants. Historically in the moment I don't give a fuck about that.
There's a few possibilities:
1) I'm bored with her, and strippers in general. I don't really get hard in the front room anymore, barring some serious stripper-handshaking or grinding. I've tried out some new girls this year with mixed results. Had one girl who is arguably a 9 give me a totally decent mileage LD, but because she was so robotic and obviously not mentally present for it, it wasn't as hot for me as it could have been.
1a) I'm bored with just getting lap dances. This is very plausible. The idea of doing OTC with my CF is extremely appealing. I'd love to get a BBJCIM from her. This is the least upsetting theory.
2) She's not as hot to me as she was. She's gained a couple pounds and I've always gone for the girls that are between "average" and "chubby", with a few fit exceptions. It's possible that a year older and a few pounds heavier she just doesn't make my dick as excited as she used to. This would be rather sad and superficial if it is the case, but the fact I would love to fuck her suggests it's not true.
3) I'm starting to see her as more of a whole person and that's fucking with my mojo. This would be the most disturbing reason of all. I'm far from a Regular-In-Love, but I've started to actually care about her as a (sort of) friend far more than when we first started doing dances. I know a decent bit about her personal life (which is pretty mundane and not especially stripperish... she's more of the poor student/expensive tastes/not great with money type of stripper rather than the trauma type). At this point I also know that some of the extremely sexy things she does and says in the lap dance room are for my benefit and to get my cash rather than because she's just a horny, naughty girl. We've done enough dances I can tell when she's more and less into it, which does make the dances she's clearly more into it more exciting, but it also makes it a little less exciting when I can tell she's not quite as into it as she sometimes is.
Typing this all out at least has helped me figure out a plan going forward:
1) Club less. This is tough because I enjoy getting away from the Office for a couple hours and I can easily spend $10 on lunch elsewhere and not have it be much better, minus the boobs. But clearly I've been overdoing it a little lately
2) Continue diversifying the dancer portfolio: The challenge here is when CF is working, I know she gives a better dance than most girls, and usually is one of the top 2 or 3 Hottest Girls in the Club (dayshift). There wouldn't be drama for skipping her once, but more than once in a row might ruin our momentum. Realistically there aren't THAT many dayshift choices, and night girl mileage tends to suck.
3) OTC? I've danced around the topic with her and she hasn't really bitten. I feel confident I've got some good will built up and could broach the subject smoothly without ruining what we've got going. I know I'd need to come with a dollar amount in mind, and my inexperience here could trip me up.
TL;DR?
I've been getting dances from my CF for around a year. There have been some breaks when she wasn't dancing or when I didn't go for a couple weeks. But typically we saw each other once every two weeks or so for some excellent dances. Good mileage for SD (at least for a girl as hot as she is. She's definitely been dancing more, so I've been seeing her once a week lately. This should be a good thing.
But.
She used to make me reliably LDK, no problem. She at least acted like she enjoyed making it happen. Two trips ago it barely happened, and not for lack of trying on her part. This time it didn't. No issues getting hard, no drop in mileage. Just wasn't feeling it, didn't want to deal with the mess in my pants. Historically in the moment I don't give a fuck about that.
There's a few possibilities:
1) I'm bored with her, and strippers in general. I don't really get hard in the front room anymore, barring some serious stripper-handshaking or grinding. I've tried out some new girls this year with mixed results. Had one girl who is arguably a 9 give me a totally decent mileage LD, but because she was so robotic and obviously not mentally present for it, it wasn't as hot for me as it could have been.
1a) I'm bored with just getting lap dances. This is very plausible. The idea of doing OTC with my CF is extremely appealing. I'd love to get a BBJCIM from her. This is the least upsetting theory.
2) She's not as hot to me as she was. She's gained a couple pounds and I've always gone for the girls that are between "average" and "chubby", with a few fit exceptions. It's possible that a year older and a few pounds heavier she just doesn't make my dick as excited as she used to. This would be rather sad and superficial if it is the case, but the fact I would love to fuck her suggests it's not true.
3) I'm starting to see her as more of a whole person and that's fucking with my mojo. This would be the most disturbing reason of all. I'm far from a Regular-In-Love, but I've started to actually care about her as a (sort of) friend far more than when we first started doing dances. I know a decent bit about her personal life (which is pretty mundane and not especially stripperish... she's more of the poor student/expensive tastes/not great with money type of stripper rather than the trauma type). At this point I also know that some of the extremely sexy things she does and says in the lap dance room are for my benefit and to get my cash rather than because she's just a horny, naughty girl. We've done enough dances I can tell when she's more and less into it, which does make the dances she's clearly more into it more exciting, but it also makes it a little less exciting when I can tell she's not quite as into it as she sometimes is.
Typing this all out at least has helped me figure out a plan going forward:
1) Club less. This is tough because I enjoy getting away from the Office for a couple hours and I can easily spend $10 on lunch elsewhere and not have it be much better, minus the boobs. But clearly I've been overdoing it a little lately
2) Continue diversifying the dancer portfolio: The challenge here is when CF is working, I know she gives a better dance than most girls, and usually is one of the top 2 or 3 Hottest Girls in the Club (dayshift). There wouldn't be drama for skipping her once, but more than once in a row might ruin our momentum. Realistically there aren't THAT many dayshift choices, and night girl mileage tends to suck.
3) OTC? I've danced around the topic with her and she hasn't really bitten. I feel confident I've got some good will built up and could broach the subject smoothly without ruining what we've got going. I know I'd need to come with a dollar amount in mind, and my inexperience here could trip me up.
TL;DR?
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20 comments
I would recommend diversifying your club attendance.
I refuse to become a regular of a girl. It never ends well.
I just visit for fun now. This has helped me.
I force myself to go to different clubs, visit with different girls.
I also don't give out my personal phone number because I hated the
weekly text of trying to entice me to visit. If I start to develop feelings for a girl, I run like hell and quit her.
so JamesSD......i've often heard on TUSCL that day-shift dancers are usually better mileage. but i haven't clubbed enough during the day to be able to confirm this.
why is this? because there are obviously far less customers in the club during the day,--so dancers sorta have to push the limits more in order to make $$$?
is that it?
Some guys treat strip clubs as merely entertainment, like going to a sports bar. Others use it as a sexual release. They don't get enough at home or they desire variety and they turn to strip clubs and strippers to fill their void.
Others, well their entire life encounter with any woman only occurs at a strip club, hence the title PL.
For most of us, the king obviously being excluded from this, we grow tired of cumming in our pants like a teenager having a wet dream. When you have evolved beyond lap dances, the only solutions are sex itc (which I guess is not going to happen in SD) or sex OTC.
I would think that OTC shopping in SD would be pretty good because my impression is that the girls can't make a lot from lap dances given all of the stupid rules. Play hard ball but be nice about it. She either meets you OTC or you're done spending money on her. And diversify. Lots of girls will even if she won't.
Last suggestion. This is a serious suggestion. If you're over 40, get some cialis.
Locally, the night manager enforces rules more than the day manager. It's partially supply and demand, as Tuesday night mileage beats Friday night mileage. And when you're literally the only ones in the LD area, there's zero chance of LE present.
I need to ponder logistics.
SD is known for crappy strip clubs. But SD and Escondido each have some great AMPs. And then the Blue Train to TJ. And then there are civilians.
SJG
Every now and then there is a thread from someone about being burned-out so seems kinda normal.
I’d say step away for a while so you can perhaps think it over w/ a clearer mind – the thought of not SCing may be disconcerting but IME the hardest part is the initial phase of not-going and then IME it gets easier after that.
Don’t go for a while – save some $$$ - and if you can hit Tijuana and fuck till you can’t fuck no more and then reassess things.
If you can't enjoy the view because nipples are covered up, beer costs a lot, you don't enjoy the lap dances that much anymore and the club put extra restrictions on everything, just stay home and find another hobby.
Oddly the two girls who have side hustles I know about, business is booming.
You mean they are losing money on the stock market, or you mean their clientele has become tight fisted?
No matter, there are no innocents in the stock market. Like it said a couple weeks back in the Mercury News, "Watch Out Below!"
I take that literally, don't walk under high rises. If you have to go past, walk out in the street.
SJG