Explaining your divorce to your daughters. :)
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Gordon: Girls, your mother and I are getting divorced. Don't cry. I know you're upset, I know you're confused. I don't know what your mother told you, but let me explain it from my side in terms you can understand... You got your doll, right? You got your doll there.
Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: You got your doll and you like your doll, right? You love your doll.
Five Year Old Kim: Yes.
Gordon: Yes, you love the doll. But what if I told you that was the only doll you're allowed to play with the rest of your life. How would you feel?
Five Year Old Kim: Sad.
Gordon: You'd feel sad, of course, 'cause there are a lot of other dolls on your shelves. And if you play with the other dolls, you can't have that doll anymore. Even though that doll doesn't want to play with you at this point. You're both living a lie. There's other dolls you like, and they're making new dolls every year. You want a stewardess doll?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: How about a slightly overweight cocktail waitress doll?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: What about a doll who happens to be best friends with your main doll?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: It could happen, right?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: What about a doll you only play with one day and never see again?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeeeah.
Gordon: What about a doll where your friend's playing with a doll and he needs you to, you know, kinda man up with the other doll? You don't even wanna play with that doll but you do it cause your friend's playing with that doll and you don't want to sit there and look at the other doll unattended.
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: ...yeah.
Gordon: So that's why me and mom are getting divorced.
Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: You got your doll and you like your doll, right? You love your doll.
Five Year Old Kim: Yes.
Gordon: Yes, you love the doll. But what if I told you that was the only doll you're allowed to play with the rest of your life. How would you feel?
Five Year Old Kim: Sad.
Gordon: You'd feel sad, of course, 'cause there are a lot of other dolls on your shelves. And if you play with the other dolls, you can't have that doll anymore. Even though that doll doesn't want to play with you at this point. You're both living a lie. There's other dolls you like, and they're making new dolls every year. You want a stewardess doll?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: How about a slightly overweight cocktail waitress doll?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: What about a doll who happens to be best friends with your main doll?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: It could happen, right?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeah.
Gordon: What about a doll you only play with one day and never see again?
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: Yeeeah.
Gordon: What about a doll where your friend's playing with a doll and he needs you to, you know, kinda man up with the other doll? You don't even wanna play with that doll but you do it cause your friend's playing with that doll and you don't want to sit there and look at the other doll unattended.
Nine Year Old Amy, Five Year Old Kim: ...yeah.
Gordon: So that's why me and mom are getting divorced.
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15 comments
Marriage should be made illegal. Or at a minimum, married people should never have unsupervised custody of a minor child.
All these vice cops making prostitution busts should be re-allocated to making marriage and child exploitation busts.
SJG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MxnhBPo…
I need to watch this.
SJG
So certainly he considered slave ownership to be a 5th Amendment protected property right, and above all state laws and state constitutions. But he seemed to be taking it even further than this, placing it as you say, totally outside of the government's purview.
So if then say I were to shoot him out of his wagon driving seat, would that also be outside of the government's purview? And if not why not?
Calhoun did not quite live to see the 5 part compromise of Sept 1850 passed. But one of it's provisions was the admission of California as a state with an anti-slavery constitution. It had been President James Polk, and his backers like Calhoun, who had wanted to take land from Mexico as more territory to expand slavery into. So though Calhoun did not live until the Sept, he did speak out against this 5 part compromise.
Calhoun's legal interpretation was never quite put to the test, but with the Dread Scott decision the Supreme Court did seem to be moving in that direction. And this motivated many to action. In Kansas Territory pro-slavery agitators sent in from Missouri sacked the free town of Lawrence, killing 6. Then John Brown and his guerillas responded by dragging slave owners, a total of 5, out of their cabins and hacking them to pieces with broad swords.
After six months of further guerilla actions, Brown would go into hiding, and then on to try and start an armed slave revolt at Harper's Ferry.
If you say that slavery is outside of government purview, then you are saying that some people are denied protection. This cannot be right.
But also it cannot be right for children to be denied protection. And actually they aren't, thanks to the 1974 Mondale Act. And the most important provisions of this are the mandatory reporting requirements. Otherwise things always get swept under the rug.
https://www.minnpost.com/community-voice…
But such an act is still very hard to enforce and it does not go far enough. The two married parent family is still held up as an ideal, and still somehow considered above the law, and so it becomes a façade which is hard to penetrate. And then others, like medical doctors and psychologists, will come in to help the parents effect abuses.
Here is one Julie Gregory who survived, just barely, Muchausen's by Proxy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_4BB08J…
Marriage is a high risk proposition. And I'm sorry to say that most of the time it is just to give an identity to the adults. So as such, those most likely abused by it are minor children. So these children must be protected. They must have citizenship rights, as called for under the 14th Amendment, and there must be people and resources there to guarantee these rights.
Just by fate a chance was handed to me, to get involved in the case of a man I knew who was accused of sexually fondling his daughters. I had no specific knowledge of these matters, but I was blown away by how much energy the guy had invested in blacksheeping his eldest daughter.
So I decided that I should not let this chance pass, as if I did I might not be given another. So I read this guy's largely autobiographical book and I was again blown away by his need to blacksheep this daughter. And I knew how everyone in his church seems to have at least one blacksheep child. And then I read the court file and the police report.
And the reason the case started was the mandatory reporting law. The youngest girl, 13yo, said something to an intern youth counselor. So the counselor did exactly what the law required. She asked more questions and then wrote it up and faxed it to police and CPS. So soon police were tracking down the eldest daughter and then they used a different detective to do a video interview with each of the family members.
The guy was up for over 50 years, likely more than his life expectancy. Though I knew he probably would not get that, I also knew that sometimes criminal cases spin wild. I knew that I should not get involved further unless I really wanted him to get that. Even, I should not get involved unless I was willing to follow the example of John Brown and kill him myself.
I finally decided that not just on the basis of the police report, but if after listening to the daughters myself, and if I lived in a society where that was the best way, that yes I would break down the door to his perfectly kept suburban home and kill him myself.
So I was not asking the state just to lock up more people, as a supposed way of solving our society's problems. I was asking them to lock him up because otherwise I would likely kill him myself.
So I attended the trial and a great deal happened which I should not disclose, and I ended up extremely involved at all levels for over two years.
Today that guy is serving a quite lengthy sentence in San Quentin, and I am also involved trying to shed additional light on the familial child abuses which I know are going on within his church.
So as to who does the supervision of the affairs of children, we all do, our entire society does it, children already have to attend school and they are seen by doctors, and these are both subject to the mandatory reporting law. But this is still not enough. Many kinds of abuse are a collaboration between doctors and parents. There has to be more intervention. No child should ever be trapped in a family home. Other places always have to be available. Parents should not ever be able to justify themselves via a parental role. There has to be public funding always available for the care of children.
I am glad that I did act. I did not shoot anyone out of their wagon driving seat, and I didn't hack anyone up with a broad sword. But I did show police, prosecutors, judges, and newspaper journalists that the public does understand these cases and wants them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
I also made it clear to the Prosecution and the Court that it were up to me, the wife would also be in prison. And I have continued to draw the attention of local authorities to this guy's church, as I know it is saturated with forms or familial child abuse.
A child is not your property, and the care of a child cannot be anyone's private affair. A child has rights. There is no right of parents. If there were, then we'd just be back at Moria.
And so I stand ready, looking for more such cases to be involved in. And if circumstances call for it, I will be ready to shoot someone or hack them up with a broad sword.
If you have care of a minor child, your right to privacy is nullified. Don't believe me? Just try me. I'll have your door broken down and you face down out on the sidewalk in no time at all. If I have to do it myself, then I will. But likely I'll be able to just let local police do it.
So before you start placing things outside of government purview, remember that some like me will not sit by in such a situation and let familial child abuses continue.
SJG
Deep Purple - Knocking At Your Back Door
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7GERh0s…
I am sorry that your childhood was shit, but that shouldn't give you the right to make wild-ass pronouncements that mold all of humanity into your sick vision like that one that you just made.
Please, for your own sake, get help!
But I do insist that there be intervention when children are being abused, even psychologically. The Family cannot be above the law. Making a child into the blacksheep, or taking them to doctors who will convince them that there is something wrong with them, because that makes the parent feel good, is extreme abuse.
So the government has to intervene, otherwise I will.
ATACdawg, are you uncomfortable with the revelation that psychological child abuse, within the family, is highly prevalent?
If you are doing any such, your chance to seek help is already gone, because if I get there before the police do, you are gone from the mortal coil.
SJG
A few selected quotes from the Wikipedia article on Asperger's/high-functioning autism:
".....demonstrated limited empathy with their peers, and were physically clumsy..."
Sound familiar? I take issue with your idiot pronouncement and you respond with a threat? See your last sentence above. More times than not, you respond with a veritable novel, of which about two lines actually address the issue, which brings me to:
"As a pervasive developmental disorder, Asperger syndrome is distinguished by a pattern of symptoms rather than a single symptom. It is characterized by qualitative impairment in social interaction, by stereotyped and restricted patterns of behavior, activities and interests, and by no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or general delay in language.[28] Intense preoccupation with a narrow subject, one-sided verbosity, restricted prosody, and physical clumsiness are typical of the condition, but are not required for diagnosis."
One-sided verbosity pretty much sums up 90% of your posts. Maybe you have sought help and are on your meds for the 10% that are succinct, to the point and actually offer reasoned, logical input to civil discussions.
"People with AS may analyze and distill their observations of social interaction into rigid behavioral guidelines, and apply these rules in awkward ways, such as forced eye contact, resulting in a demeanor that appears rigid or socially naive. Childhood desire for companionship can become numbed through a history of failed social encounters."
I think these lines should speak for themselves.
"Pursuit of specific and narrow areas of interest is one of the most striking possible features of AS.[1] Individuals with AS may collect volumes of detailed information on a relatively narrow topic such as weather data or star names, without necessarily having a genuine understanding of the broader topic."
Again, I see the narrowness of interest and the obvious collection and somewhat random spewing back of that data in your posts.
I could quote more, but I don't want to bore everyone, including you with the whole, very informative article. SJG, I think that I am, overall, a pretty tolerant guy in my posting life here on TUSCL. I have never given in to the "living in his Mom's basement" crap that a lot of the trolls and even some of the good guys have put out. However, your responses to two of my posts, one offering a view of marriage that was at odds with yours and the other a comment on an inane proposal to inflict government intervention over every family in America have really PISSED ME OFF!
I repeat, for your own good, seek professional help. If you have already sought help, then take your meds.
"SJG, I think that you are a victim of Asperger's Syndrome, or "high-functioning autism" as it has been redefined today."
Well, I'm sure there's all sorts of people who might want to diagnose or as they say "assess" me and others with all sorts of things.
But just what exactly is the point of it, except social marginalization. People may have temperaments and personalities which are some standard deviations outside of the norm. But then again, when people grow up in hostile environments, they do become more rigid. Usually the first step towards more flexibility is learning how to stand up for one's self so that one can have safety, and then develop more flexibility.
But this is never going to happen so long as those who have been used within the family are being assessed by white coats and then taught to live by seeking pity, taught to live as Uncle Tom's.
So I for one would never sit still for any kind of assessment. I would fight back and use whatever means are necessary to protect myself and make the doctor understand that they will not be able to proceed without severe consequences.
ATACdawg, you sound like someone who is into the Psycho-therapy, Recovery, and Religion approach to anger and social injustice. I am not. I oppose these things because all they are are justifications for child abuse.
I don't know if you saw on another thread where I posted about Lynn Kern Koegel at UC Santa Barbara. She is an Autism doctor who teaches parents how to abuse their children, and she demonstrates herself. I want her to be imprisoned. And I am actively trying to set up actions against her, as others have acted against the Rotenberg Center in Massachusetts.
Are you someone who makes his living by convincing children that they suffer from some sort of a neurological difference ( Autism, Aspergers, ADHD ) or from a brain chemical imbalance ( Manic Depressive, Bipolar, Schizophrenia ), and thus vindicates the parents in their view that "something is wrong with this kid".
If you are, and if I can find you, I will put you out of action. If the police will do it, great, that is better. But if not, I will take care of the problem myself, and this is not a threat.
And as far as families, the law already requires reporting and intervention in cases of suspected child abuse. Doctors and school teachers, and lots of other people, though not clergy, are required to report suspected cases, and then CPS is required to investigate.
I'm not saying that this is adequate, not at all. It is not adequate because so much child abuse amounts to blacksheeping, psychological child abuse, and much of it is a variation on Muchausen's By Proxy.
So ATACdawg, you don't have to like it, because that is the law. Do you have some sort of a problem with this? Is there some kind of a problem going on between you and children of yours, or that you have care of? Are you convincing any children you have care of that they have something wrong with them, or that they need to be fixed or made normal and passably acceptable to most people most of the time?
If so, then I want your complete identity and contact information, because I am going to report the matter immediately.
I have already once forced San Jose officials to handle one case on the opposite side of the country. I knew that if I reported it, probably nothing would happen. So I threatened them with the consequences of failure to comply with the mandatory reporting law. They said they would consult with the City Attorney. I reminded them that the City Attorney advises the City. The City is not the one subject to the mandatory reporting law. If they want legal advise about its applicability to them, then they needed to consult with a Criminal Defense Attorney.
So local police did question the suspected abuser, and I believe authorities in another state did approach the grandchildren in question. I don't know that anything more came of this than that, but this alone is enough to make a difference. It makes the suspected abuser think twice, and it shows the grandchildren that there is someone who will act to stop their nut case Bible thumping grandfather. This is very important.
ATACdawg. if you are cheating on your wife, like in strip clubs, though I think it perfectly sufficient justification for your wife to divorce you and for you to be publicly discredited, I really don't care about it. That you don't agree with some general statements I have made about marriage, I could not care less about. This might make you even more angry, but most of my positions are really commentaries on the middle class.
But to anyone psychologically abusing children, by making them believe they have some sort of defect / difference, which is really just the result of living in a negative family environment, these persons are on my target list.
And I hope no one reading ATACdawg is stupid enough to let anyone put them on psych meds. If you are now or have ever used them, contact me. I would like to start taking action against the doctors who prescribe them. I am actively looking for comrades and for targets of opportunity.
SJG
As far as your assertion that I am cheating, I disagree with you. Believe it or not, I spend a lot of time thinking about that issue and if I ever start straying there, I will quit. You are, of course, entitled to disagree with me, as I am entitled to disagree with you.
I guess that I was wrong to think that you might benefit from professional help. Too bad for you.
I'll be praying for you SJG.
Every parent in America is already supervised, as many of the people their children come into contact with regularly are subject to the mandatory reporting law. If they fail to report a suspected case of child abuse, they could individually be charged with a federal felony. This is what I pressed upon some San Jose officials recently. It melted the was out of their ears. The care of a minor child will not be a private, beyond gov't purview, subject, anymore than slave ownership as characterized by John C. Calhoun was.
It is not private because, for one thing, I won't let it be. If you are abusing a child in your care, you'd better hope that the police get there first, because I won't bother with the Miranda Warning, or with judges or juries either.
As far as strip clubs and cheating, or what I would prefer to talk about as just Marital Infidelity. of which I am also very guilty, there are a few here on TUSCL who have their wives' permission. But otherwise I would say that just spending time, spending money, and ogling, do constitute infidelity. If you do not agree with me, ask your wife.
But you go ahead keep on thinking about it. I mean this, because I can tell that you are a conscientious fellow.
You might be interested in this:
http://www.amazon.com/Waging-War-Autisti…
Now a warning, this is a book written by the evil side. This Andrew Wakefield is a completely discredited, fired, and delicensed U.K. gastro intestinologist. And he was working for the parents. So you really have to take about the things he is saying.
The good side is muzzled by a court gag order to protect identities. But if you poke around online, the identities can be found.
This was about a family with 5 children in Arizona, which was home schooling. Though not used in the hearing, they are Christian fundamentalists.
They claimed that all 5 children suffered from this neurological difference known as autism. They actually got doctors at PCH ( Phoenix Children's Hospital ) to give these diagnoses.
But other PCH pediatricians saw this case as simply Munchuasen's By Proxy, the parents having already fooled over 100 doctors all over the state. So arguing against their own autism specialists, PCH doctors and CPS argued and finally won the removal of the children.
The main argument of this Andrew Wakefield and the evil side is an emotional appeal that the Holy Family is sacrosanct and beyond gov't purview.
Arizona PCH and CPS won! Autism diagnoses are starting to be challenged and starting to be seen as simply child abuse, at least in Arizona.
And then this:
http://www.amazon.com/Myth-Autism-Medica…
One of the co-authors had accepted an autism diagnosis. But now he has rejected the entire concept. For him the main difference was that with that on his resume he was unemployable. Now, taking it off, he has quickly been employed for the first time in his life at a salary commensurate with his abilities and maturity.
Peter Breggin, in Toxic Psychiatry, has explained that most all of the Autsim Advocacy groups are just defensive formations of the parents, trying to protect themselves from recriminations. That there even could be such a thing as autism is a highly contentious matter.
Also consider this, most every industrialized nation on the face of the earth, except the US, makes it almost impossible to disinherit a child. This right there takes the wind out of most of the blacksheeping, and the lies and the denial.
I'm talking about Europe, Russian Federation, U.K., Australia, Canada, Mexico, Central America, and South America, and increasingly countries on the Pacific Rim.
Most of these places follow the Civil Law system, derived from the Roman Empire. It has long had the Legitime, a forced share. We used to have this ourselves in Louisiana, but no more.
But then the Common Law Countries started to change in 1938 when the British Parliament passed the Wills Variation Act.
The place where this has gone the furthest is in British Columbia. If someone there tries to disinherit their adult child, the courts will pretty much shred the will. And the nation's highest court has affirmed this. In the most important case in 1996, their nation's highest court went even further on behalf of the disinherited and blacksheeped adult child. It is not necessary to show need or anything like abuse, only the parent child relationship and the attempt to disinherit.
So while in the US those who grow up in dysfunctional families usually end up opening the yellow pages and looking for that professional help you speak of, psychotherapists. Then they end up lying on the couch and confessing their anger and then punching pillows and screaming at them histrionically.
Well not so in British Columbia. I mean sure you use the yellow pages, but you just open it to A, attorneys, like Trevor Todd.
Now sure, the people who abuse and then disinherit their child go senile. But Todd will still send someone once to try and talk some sense into them. But if this doesn't, he just files a suit under the Wills Variation Act and their will is shredded and they are forever discredited.
http://disinherited.com/dysfunctional-fa…
And if you want to understand what Psychotherapy is, just forcing people to kneel down and worship the Holy Family,
http://www.amazon.com/Anti-Oedipus-Capit…
So besides Alcohol, Street Drugs, and Born Again Christianity, what keeps the people at the bottom, the people with the least to lose, from rising up, is Psychotherapy and Psychiatric Medication.
So yes, I am spoiling for a public fight with one of these professional helps.
You don't need to pray for me, but are you one of these professional helps? Are you someone who has authority over social service programs or over juveniles in school, or anything like that?
Can I talk with your clients?
Please, Please, Pretty Please?
SJG
Sarah Vaughan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u51fdqvc…