Question for dancers regarding boundaries

24 comments

• DivorcedDude

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  9 years ago

  Question along these lines. I'm kind of new to this...
  
  A few times during lap dances, the women have gotten really close and slowly moved their breasts down my face, so both their breast and nipple brushed against my lips and mouth.
  
  They did this while I was leaning back, so it's not like I moved in to their breasts.
  
  If a dancer does this, is she kind of inviting me to lick her nipple. I wanted to and thought she was encouraging it, but didn't want to get slapped.
  
  Thanks and sorry if this is a threadjack. I thought it fit in here though.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  DD, you'll get lots of answers on this, but my own personal approach is: when in doubt, ASK. Simple as that. It may be that sometimes you just can tell that she's inviting your touch, but if you're not sure, asking only has upside, IMO. Aside from the general ethics of "it's her body, I should make sure she's consenting", I feel like, if anything, if she trusts me she'll give me more leeway, not less.
• Bavarian

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  9 years ago

  Not a problem DivorcedDude. We might have crossed paths at Baby Dolls, lol.
  
  Most dancers do what you describe. Even on stage. I never tried to suck or lick nipples though. I think that's beyond a stripper's comfort zone and a slap would be coming my way.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  if it's an ultra high mileage club I would pribably just start sucking especially if she puts a nipple on my lips. I'd start out slow though so she has an opportunity to say no if I misunderstood.
  
  But in most clubs you need to ask first.. Be respectful but don't be tentative about it or act like you're asking for anything out of the ordinary. When you ask depends upon how important it is to you.
  
  If it's really important then always ask before you commit to a dance. Then if she says no you can choose not to do a dance if you consider it a deal breaker.
  
  I never pressure a dancer to allow something that she initially says no to except that I will sometimes sweeten the offer with a promise of a tip or multiple dances if she allows me to suck or to do whatever I'm in the mood for.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Bavarian, I like you but you really need to man up and take more control of the strop club experience. I've been doing this for 20 years, I've sucked the breasts of hundreds of dancers, and I've never come even remotely close to being slapped.
• DivorcedDude

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  9 years ago

  Thanks Sub, good advice.
  
  Funny Bav. Haven't been there in a month and I'm due for a trip soon.
  
  Thanks JS. Yeah, I'm usually respectful, and probably a little too tentative in certain situations. I'm not going out of my way looking for this, but if the situation presents itself again like this, I might go for it. I like spinners, so even if I get slapped, I imagine it won't be too hard. :)
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  Bav, none of what you said is necessarily true. Whether or not it's "common" to allow touching tits or or her vajeen or whatever depends completely on the club. Right here in my area, I can send you to clubs where the girls won't let you touch their tits, and other clubs where the only thing that's uncommon is anal sex (it's available, just not from everyone). The girls will set rules for themselves, but YMMV is the rule, not the exception, and favored regulars may be allowed more leeway than the casual tourist, etc.
• rh48hr

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  9 years ago

  If unsure, just ask what her rules are. Simple.
• Bavarian

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  9 years ago

  @JS69 I'll be the first to admit that my "game" is weak. Who would have thought that game is needed for a strip club too! Having money is not enough. If you have both, like you do, you can practically have it your way with any stripper. I have a hunch that the guys, that get away with more from strippers, are simply more witty and charismatic. Money, being a regular or being nice are not factors. Especially nice, lol. The stripper will just run over you!
• shailynn

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  9 years ago

  Okay here's a good guideline for you guys...
  
  I have been in a situation literally 100s of times where I'm in a club (maybe for the first time) and with a dancer for the first time, and I really don't know the boundaries or "rules" of the club, other than what I've read from maybe a review or two from this site.
  
  So I nipple passes my lips once, look at the girl, does she smile at you, act like nothing happened, or kinda have a strange look on her face like she didn't mean to get that close? Well 30 seconds later, her nipple brushes your lips again, once again look at her face. Some dancers are horribly uncoordinated, to others that may be their limit.
  
  - if she acted like nothing when it happened and it happens a 3rd time, I'd probably ask her permission. As cheesy as that sounds, to be polite you should do that, be classy in this situation would be my suggestion.
  
  - if she smiled at your both times, or giggled, and does it a third, take the initiative and try to casually get to 2nd base because its extremely likely she is inviting you to do so.
  
  
  
• alabegonz

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  9 years ago

  It's for me to get into two-ways and DATYs. My experience with girls who are OK with them are they don't end up for OTC.
  
  It's not an indicator of an OTC for me, though.
  
  Maybe some girls are cool with that, that's how they roll.
• alabegonz

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  9 years ago

  "I have a hunch that the guys, that get away with more from strippers, are simply more witty and charismatic. Money, being a regular or being nice are not factors. Especially nice, lol. The stripper will just run over you!"
  
  Haha, dude, practice the art of the pull without two-ways and DATYs. It's an awesome skill. 9s and 10s will be easy, man.
• clubdude

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  9 years ago

  ears ago at a club I haven't been to in awhile (dancers have changed up drastically), a dancer told me to stick out my tongue a little. She then proceeded to rub her nipples on it. needles to say I returned until she quit dancing. I've found that a lot of dancers will just shove their tits in your face and tell you to start sucking (not wanting to offend, I follow their command)!
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Bavarian, you need to step outside of your comfort zone and actually do what the experienced guys on this site recommend. It won't always work. Hell it doesn't work for me lots of times. But with experience, you get better and the results steadily improve. The first step is to stop viewing and treating strippers like civilian women. And you need to just be respectful rather than nice. There is a difference. Good luck.
• mrrock

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  9 years ago

  If a dancer puts her nipples across my/your mouth...fair game kiss or lick or suck away. She'll tell you if she doesn't like it.
  
  You can also test her with her pussy for example. When your hands are caressing her slowly inch closer and closer to the sweet spot. If she doesn't like it she'll turn around for example or re-direct your hands somewhere else. If you continue to get closer with no physical or verbal objections briefly touch the kitty. Again she will say something or move away or change positions of this is too far.
  
  It's not rocket science guys just follow the clues they give you.
• JackKash

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  9 years ago

  I keep my lips closed whenever a dancer brushes her nipple against them, you know why? 'Cause if she's doing it for me chances are all you PLs have already been sucking on those tits!
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  If disease were a serious threat from sucking dancers nipples or kissing them, I would have been dead many years ago.
• shadowcat

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  9 years ago

  I push the limits. I've never been slapped or yelled at. I have had my hand pushed away and been told no but they've experienced it many times. It comes with the job. And they still want my money.
• Dancer_

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  9 years ago

  I won't let anyone get away with doing something that makes me feel uncomfortable.
  
  Usually if he tries to suck on my nipples or touch crotch, I change positions. If he doesn't understand a hint, I will tell him something like :"Baby, we have cameras here - you will get me in trouble.". Only twice I had to stop someone from kissing/licking with slapping - the first dude was super drunk, the second one was warned not to do anything with his mouth/tongue yet he held my hands and forced himself on me, idiot.
• Dancer_

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  9 years ago

  Oh, and once customer tried to finger me. I felt moody that night so when he asked why he can't do it, I got angry and replied :"Because I vil beat ze shit out of you, zets vai.". It was ridiculous considering that he was twice bigger than me but it worked.:)
• seaboardrr

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  9 years ago

  Simply ask. I know our situation is diff than everyone else's but the first thing we do is mrs sea asks what her boundaries are and we usually hear the normal rules but this makes the stripper always ask mrs sea what our rules are. When mrs sea says we have no boundaries and she can do anything she feels like the stated rules have usually gone out the window. If your nice and respectful it's amazing what is on the table.
• Dominic77

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  9 years ago

  I simply ask. Then I don't exceed them. In the case of titty fondling and titty sucking, usually after a couple dances, the dancer will see that she can trust me, and that I'm behaving myself, and she verbally offers it up to me at that point. Though there are ways to test the water and watch for her non-verbal communication cues.
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  I always ask a dancer who is new to me what here limits are, and I don't exceed them. Generally, their limits go beyond where I would have gone otherwise, and quite often beyond the official club limits.
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  Bavarian, you are talking about the women who dance in strip clubs as tough they are vending machines. So the sorts of experiences you have with them are of your own making.
  
  SJG
  
  Bernstein on Schoenberg
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olwVvbWd…
  
  part II
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n6p7_0g…
  
  part III
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LuAlmLn…