Ten reasons men should avoid South Florida strip clubs

avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
For men, no good can come from strip clubs. It's good that Oakland Park is getting rid of them. City leaders are doing you a favor.

At this moment, many men, maybe even your dad or uncle, are screaming: Daniel, are you freakin' crazy? Are you!!!

The strongest of strip club supporters among us will most assuredly quickly tick off three benefits of today's gentleman clubs: Sex. Steak. And sex.

Not that strip clubs sell sex, per se. The legal ones only deal in the idea of sex. They put sex on stage, ask her (or him) to wiggle and smile and seduce. In return, customers throw money. Away.

Some strip clubs do serve a mean sirloin. Still, here at 10 reasons men should stay away:

10. You can't afford what's on the menu. Unless you are actually wealthy, your wad of hard-earned cash will run out way before your appetite does.

9. She's really not that into you. No. Really. She's not.

8. If you had to lie about being there, you really should not be there.

7. She doesn't need you to rescue her. And if the dancer of the week does need help, a strip club regular grasping crumpled single dollar bills for a peek at her goodies is probably not her image of a knight in shining armor.

6. Women drug men at strip clubs and high-end restaurants to steal credit cards, cash and more. It's a thing. Google it, or just trust me.

5. You are not sexier because you go to strip clubs. It just feels that way. It's the dim lights, fake fog and four beers you just had.

4. Think twice about filing a police report if someone steals your wallet or breaks into your car. Your wife or girlfriend can pull a public record.

3. No such thing as the one-beer-and-I'll-go rule in a strip club. It doesn't work.

2. Go to Hooters. You won't see as much, but you'll save money on the food.

1. This is South Florida man, go out and meet someone not wrapped around a germ-laced brass pole. If you seek sexy companionship, there are oodles of beautiful women and men parading around near-nude at the beach, bike trail and Sun Life Stadium on Sundays. Give it a shot.

The strip club will always be there. Sorry, Oakland Park

23 comments

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avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
Fuck this idiot for telling free adults what is best for them.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
@Lone_Wolf: He's probably a PL himself, and doesn't want to admit it. These are all reasons they *he* should stay away from clubs, and if he can get others to agree with him, he feels validated in his self loathing.

Either that, or he's trying to scare/urge away his competition. :)
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
Yea, I would like to see this clown try and approach one of the "oodles of beautiful women..." he refers to. I'm sure they would be very receptive to his advanced. Not.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Ok. I'm convinced. Can't argue with such superior logic. I'll stop going.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
9 years ago
Yeah John his reasoning is superior I guess I'll stop going too
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
9 years ago
I agree with #10. You shouldn't be there if you can't afford what's on the menu. Can't afford it today, then save up for tomorrow, but don't be a "broke" regular. That's just blue ball central man. Unless you go the LDK route.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
LOL JS
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
I'm yet to see an article or any other depiction that accurately describes SCs – just morons talking about something they don't know and have not experienced enough to know.

I would not be surprised if Oakland Park wanted to clamp down on the SCs – is is near Ft Lauderdale and Ft Lauderdale has been trying hard to change its image from the wild Spring-Break party place it used to be up to the late 1980s – Ft Lauderdale pretty much shutdown/killed the Spring-Break scene as well as most party things (i.e. no more strip-clubs).

Broward county in general (where Fr Lauderdale and Oakland Park are) is not very SC or nightlife friendly – I'm kinda surprised the Pompano area (also in Broward) still has some good SCs w/ good mileage.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
I don't bring my credit cards into the club so I won't get robbed.

I am a TUSCL elite making over $350k a year so I can afford it.

I always look hot in a strip club, everybody looks betters - it's because of all the black lights
avatar for shanny72
shanny72
9 years ago
I think that Pompano works because the clubs there are mostly in unincorporated Broward county. No local police dept or city bs
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
^ good point - thanks for the info
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
9 years ago
Scat,was your ex wife a White Hispanic?
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
9 years ago
I can take the same list and argue why you shouldn't bother going to church and make it seem more realistic to me than his arguments.

here goes
Still, here at 10 reasons men should stay away from church

10. You can't afford what's on the menu. Unless you are actually wealthy, your wad of hard-earned cash will run out way before your appetite does.
Yep, you have to be wealthy if you can afford to give up 10% of your income before taxes and your mortgage payment, car bill, food bill, etc, etc. The church will expect you to pay 10% forever and ever.

9. She's really not that into you. No. Really. She's not.
This is correct. The priest will say he cares about the congregation and then tell you how you are living in sin and lots of other things you must be doing wrong. Then want you to work at the church as if you are retired with nothing else to do. Do they care if you work 60 hours a week? no.

8. If you had to lie about being there, you really should not be there.
Not very many people go around acting proud they go to church. Most people don't even mention it. Is that a place you enjoy visiting? Do you enjoy all the other people there and being told what to do all the time?

7. She doesn't need you to rescue her. In this case the church will be looking to you for help. just give up all your money and time. Someone will likely say thanks. If that makes you happy, you can be happy almost anywhere. You might hear more thanks giving money to actual poor people rather than someone building multi million dollar buildings.

6. Women drug men at strip clubs and high-end restaurants to steal credit cards, cash and more. It's a thing. Google it, or just trust me.
I've been drugged as much at church as at strip clubs which is never.

5. You are not sexier because you go to strip clubs. It just feels that way. It's the dim lights, fake fog and four beers you just had.
Do you really think you will feel better in bright lights in a church where everyone can see whatever is wrong with you? no one will care but no one cares anytime anyway. A least in strip clubs, hot girls will complement you a lot and flatter you.

4. Think twice about filing a police report if someone steals your wallet or breaks into your car. Your wife or girlfriend can pull a public record.
If you have a controlling wife or girlfriend, you are sol. turn in your man card and just obey orders. your life as a man ended a long time ago. You might secretly be a sadist for wanting pain or punishment.

3. No such thing as the one-beer-and-I'll-go rule in a strip club. It doesn't work.
I actually never heard of such a thing. I had more than one beer before going to church before. I did it to cool off because I knew it was going to hot as hell inside church because the priest and old people inside have some metabolic problem and had the air set to 80 or 85 degrees.

2. Go to Hooters. You won't see as much, but you'll save money on the food.
not a bad idea if you're hungry. I never buy food in strip clubs so Hooters is a rather expensive place just to grab a bite to eat. If you got money to burn, saving a few dollars won't matter.

1. This is South Florida man, go out and meet someone not wrapped around a germ-laced brass pole. If you seek sexy companionship, there are oodles of beautiful women and men parading around near-nude at the beach, bike trail and Sun Life Stadium on Sundays. Give it a shot.
Yeah, if you can go up to 9's and 10's and they say how good looking you are and want to meet up with you, why bother with church or any other place unless you want to marry her?
Of course if you have some cash you are going to spend anyway and want to have fun, strip clubs work great.

I'll add one. I love how all the sick and smelly people go to church coughing and sneezing and at some point, they want to share their germs and get you sick by shaking your hand. The flu kills thousands of people a year. These people must really love you. They want to see you in heaven as quickly as possible.
avatar for luvemthick93
luvemthick93
9 years ago
THIS!!! Oh this was awesome ^
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
9 years ago
could have just gone with FU to whomever thinks they can dictate what you can do because they think strip clubs or whatever are immoral.
They are almost as bad as a terrorist group overseas that wants us all dead or following strict Isis laws. They just haven't tried to kill you physically.
avatar for luvemthick93
luvemthick93
9 years ago
You'll end up paying more money in the long run for good pussy with a 8 or higher civilian girl compared to an OTC with a comparable stripper. Haven't done an OTC yet but sure as he'll am contemplating it considering the amount of money I've blown on mediocre amateurs. Could've had a couple nice OTC gfe's for that money.
avatar for Bend7
Bend7
9 years ago
Oakland park's Solid gold's is anyway so damn expensive, so if it closes who cares. (Otherwise reading logic in post was such a waste).

avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
9 years ago
I never visited any clubs in South Florida. I did see about 60 to 90 gators while in a swamp. Only saw one before it started to pour, then the gator eyeballs popped up everywhere.
Safety was paramount. someone said be careful and don't slip. An entire tour bus was walking on two boards about a foot above the water with it pouring down. Someone said the tour guide looked really surprised. No one slipped. Strip clubs sound safer.
avatar for Timex345
Timex345
9 years ago
I could not agree more! I quit showclubs this past week.
I posted a discussion entitled "Done". I can"t begin to tell you how much
happier I already am. No more with the nonsense of showclubs.
I quit cold turkey. The end came for me when one of my favorite entertainers
talked incessantly about her "man". I finally realized I was wasting my time
willingly visiting with this young woman. I finally felt pathetic enough to make some
changes in my life. I rediscovered my self-respect. Do I really want to spend my hard
earned money on another man"s woman? My needs have changed. I want something
real. I don't miss the clubs or the heartache of having a crush on a woman I can never
have at all. I recommend getting out while you can. Those women only want your money.
Your not Romeo. She is using you. Believe me. I have been there. But. I am free at last!
Thank God, I am free at last.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
9 years ago
Who you trying to convince?
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
9 years ago
I think going to the movies is stupid. I hate going to sporting events even when they are free. I think bringing children into this world is a crime against them. My wife doesn't care if I go as long as I bring home no diseases. In the last 25 years I have taken a year off twice and find retirement is only for people who have catered to others their whole life, so I work. My wife works. Our basic monthly expenses are less than 2 weeks take home pay. I don't plan on leaving any money to anyone when I die. Thats why I don't mind spending on a luxury. I fly first class; I rent a cadillac; I stay at the Westin; I buy pretty women.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
9 years ago
"17 Hours Ago • Ok. I'm convinced. Can't argue with such superior logic. I'll stop going."

Thank God! JS has finally come to his senses! I guess we should cancel the intercession.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
9 years ago
Or maybe even the intervention!
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