Ex-favorite's bizarre sens of entitlement
Lone_Wolf
Arizona
Has this ever happened to you.
Met the fine honey ITC about six months ago. A stunning exotic dark haired beauty. Cute sense of humor and walking sexy. We seemed to have excellent sc chemistry. Several fun visits to see her ITC eventually led to OTC p4p dining and fucking. Everything seemed to be going great for months. I tried my best to be generous, respectful and fun company.
Unfortunately, as often happens to these honeys, my baby-doll had some hard times involving the law, family, money - the perfect storm of bad luck. Of course I was sympathetic and diligently listened to her hardships when we were together. I was generous with $ because I know she was struggling.
Somehow, slowly, my honey morphed from this fine, sexy, easy going sweetheart that was fun to party with into acting like a high maintenance, spoiled rotten, miserable civie gf. Problem is, she wasn't a civie and all my time with her was p4p.
The honey had lost sight that she was a paid entertainer that is supposed to be fun. Although never said, it was obvious she actually expected me to pay her for the privilege of listening to her problems.
The baby-doll being so fine, it took me too long to realize that she was no longer fun. But when I did finally wake up, I distanced myself from her immediately. This shit is really baffling because it would have took very little effort on her part to keep me happy and keep the revenue coming in.
Met the fine honey ITC about six months ago. A stunning exotic dark haired beauty. Cute sense of humor and walking sexy. We seemed to have excellent sc chemistry. Several fun visits to see her ITC eventually led to OTC p4p dining and fucking. Everything seemed to be going great for months. I tried my best to be generous, respectful and fun company.
Unfortunately, as often happens to these honeys, my baby-doll had some hard times involving the law, family, money - the perfect storm of bad luck. Of course I was sympathetic and diligently listened to her hardships when we were together. I was generous with $ because I know she was struggling.
Somehow, slowly, my honey morphed from this fine, sexy, easy going sweetheart that was fun to party with into acting like a high maintenance, spoiled rotten, miserable civie gf. Problem is, she wasn't a civie and all my time with her was p4p.
The honey had lost sight that she was a paid entertainer that is supposed to be fun. Although never said, it was obvious she actually expected me to pay her for the privilege of listening to her problems.
The baby-doll being so fine, it took me too long to realize that she was no longer fun. But when I did finally wake up, I distanced myself from her immediately. This shit is really baffling because it would have took very little effort on her part to keep me happy and keep the revenue coming in.
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16 comments
IMO; you should not be baffled at all – as far as I'm concerned these days I am more “baffled” when a dancer is reliable and acts accordingly – i.e. I expect SS sooner or later so when dealing w/ dancers I don't have any expectations or dreams of grandeur – having low expectations often means I won't be as disappointed when the stripper-shit hits the fan and will thus be pleasantly surprised when/if she does something right.
I've heard psychologists often talk about boundaries and their beneficial/healthful effects – I think one def needs to have “boundaries” w/ dancers as in not being too nice a guy or too willing to bend/yield towards the dancers' wishes.
Often times w/ people in general and dancers specifically; the more you give the more they want and the more they want to take; reminds me of a Seinfeld episode (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5xCOF65…)
IME dealing w/ dancers in particular; when I try to be the-nice-guy/friend; I usually get diminishing returns – not saying one has to be an a-hole (alhtough that seems to work best for many dudes) but IME the nicer you are to a dancer often times the more they take you for granted and the more they want from you while simultaneously doing the least for you – many of these girls spend their personal time w/ thugs and/or o/w dirtbags and they use PLs – i.e. they use PLs to get what they want/need and then they go and hangout with the dirtbags and use our $$$ to spend on them (the dirtbags).
If you constantly feed a stray-cat; of course it's gonna keep coming back asking for more and expecting it.
I had a stripper that I had OTC with for over a year with no single problems. She always showed up late but I didn't really see that as a problem. Then in one day, she came 6 hours late, made me late for a dinner date, and she apparently was on something (I didn't even know she drank let alone did drugs) talking crazy shit about a sister and she told me before she was an only child. I ended that quick!
Anyway you like her, so maybe just stay cool and ride out the storm, maybe her life will calm back down and she will return back to normal. When bad things happen to people they act crazy and their whole equalibriam is fucked up - myself included.
Maybe you should have a frank talk with her, saying "you really enjoy your time with her, and you're prepared to pay X for it. You don't want to pay more than X for it and will cease this arrangement is she doesn't calm it down." Of course you can say it much more eloquent than that.
I will say, the best way to end a beautiful ITC relationship is to see her OTC, because either yours or her expectations will change when that happens. She'll feel too entitled and demand more and more money, or the guy will think he's having a real date and not have to pay at all. There are exceptions of course, but this is the rule of thumb as far as my experience goes.
^
BAM! Nailed it!
The extent to which I not just agree with you in theory, but had internalized those low expectations, really came to me when my ATF became my bodyrub girl (who I started seeing "OTC", to the extent that that concept carries over) after years of only ATFing and OTCing strippers. I had stripper-type low expectations for her ... I expected her to go silent near when we were supposed to meet, or if she didn't go silent, I expected her to be late, or if not late, manipulative, full of poor-me stories, some other wacky thing. I'd be driving to our rendezvous point, not hearing from her, already feeling like she was definitely going to flake and feeling furious over it, but she always got back to me, always made it, always on time. I expected her to fuck me over in some way, at every turn, and she simply didn't. It's been a bizarre experience to me -- I now have *almost* civilian-like expectations for her, not stripper expectations.
In retrospect, I guess I should have expected it. Bodyrub girls have to make appointments, be there on time every time, never forget an appointment, always communicate clearly especially those rare times she will be late or an emergency arises, not show up fucked up, and make each appointment delightful regardless of her personal woes, or she gets shredded in reviews and her business dries up fast. It's a basic life skill many strippers don't have or need or want or value -- and when I find a stripper who breaks the mold, I def hold onto her.
So my lowest expectations are reserved for strippers, although as I get older, my limit for what level of flakiness I'll tolerate has drastically lowered, and I move on even from CFs far more easily and dispassionately than I used to. I realize there's always another CF, or even ATF, just around the corner who I'll like as much, and I'm happier not putting up with much lack of respect for my time
My ATF turned out the same way. The first 6months to a year were awesome. Then it some how morphed into a me taking care of her situation that drained me of money. My biggest problem was that I ended up having feelings for her and falling for her.
I learned the really, really, really hard way. But it's a lesson I'll never forget now with strippers. But that comes with experience and school of hard knocks.
Because of the way they run their lives there is always an emergency, they always have a great excuse for why they are late but you need to stick to what you know, and just use them for your own ends not be used by them. There are plenty of stray cats if one leaves at least 10 more are there to take their place.
Good luck in your search for the next fun thing.