24 things all women think while giving a blow job

Here's the link: metro.co.uk (Oddly enough, also not from StripperWeb!)

As Samantha Jones [Kim Cattrall on "Sex and the City"] once said ‘honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing’.

This is what we’re thinking on those occasions when you’re lucky enough to be getting head.

1.This is an overly complicated belt. Seriously, is this a chastity belt?

1. Note to self: buy him new pants. If I don’t, his mother will get more of these monstrosities.

2. Hm, how to start?

3. Christ, this is taking a long time. Is he delaying on purpose or am I really bad at this?

4. If I pretend to be enjoying this that might speed things up.

5. Jaw ache.

6. Oh well, at least he’s not as big as that guy I met on holiday.

7. Er, grabbing the back of my head may seem sexy but I’d rather not choke to death, thanks.

8. I wonder if men secretly find vaginas as gross-looking as women find penises.

9. Not as gross as balls though. There’s really nothing sexy about a ball.

10. If I look in his eyes while I’m doing this that will speed things up, won’t it?

11. I really want to stop now but it seems like I might actually be getting somewhere.

12. Dilemma: if I switch to hand I’ll be way more comfortable. But that might set things back a bit.

13. That’s it, I can’t breathe, I’m switching to hand.

14. Why do men like this so much anyway?

15. I guess I might as well try that thing I read in Cosmo.

16. I really should have tied my hair back.

17. Ugh. Pubes.

18. Right. How should I deal with the impending, er, situation?

19. Don’t want to swallow. Spit seems rude. Boobs might be better but I don’t trust his aim.

20. If I’d used a condom I wouldn’t be having this dilemma.

21. Shit, better decide soon.

22. Oops, neck and hair it is then. Oh well, better than that time I got red eye.

23. Crap, this will take ages to shampoo out.