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It's not cool to call TUSCLers out – but sometimes their actions are too egregio

Papi_Chulo

Miami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)

A recent review of Lipstixx NOLA by TUSCLer and discussion-board member “4got2wipe” - dude spends time on the board but yet got taken for 500 smacks in a tourist-trap NOLA club – being a discussion-board member he should have known better:


Review:
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Alas, like many a man, I let the little head make some unwise, or should I say "seriously non-brilliant," decisions the first night of my New Orleans vacation!

Initially I wasn't sure whether I wanted to go upscale or downscale for my strip clubbing and I went to the French Quarter with the plan of having some oysters at the Acme oyster house on Iberville and then hitting the Penthouse across the street! But the line outside of Acme was long and I wandered off for oysters (and gumbo) elsewhere, deciding along the way that I might go to a club where I might be able to experience some of the crazy (and perhaps(?) apocryphal) stories shared on the TUSCL discussion board!

Went by Temptations and the place next door to it (Stilletto's). But neither had much of anything going on so I left quickly and won't review. That's when I went to Lipstixx.

Surprisingly, I was carded. I haven't been carded in years (and, alas, I look nowhere near 21). So things started off oddly!

Physically the club is nothing spectacular but it also isn't a craphole. There is a main stage in the center with the pole and seating all around it. The bar is on the other side of the club from the entry doors. A couple of girls were sitting along the wall with the entry doors and a few others were milling about. The private rooms are across a courtyard (actually, I think they are all on the left as you exit from the club to the courtyard and both rooms I was in were there).

I was actually very pleasantly surprised by dancer quality given the low ratings (I'm not TUSCL VIP and this is my first review but one of the parts of a review I read stated that dancer quality was low. There were several dancers that immediately caught my eye. One was a young (early 20s) girl with light skin and dark hair (I’ll call her K) and, unfortunately, way too many tattoos. And I mean way too many tattoos! A second was a blonde with a big ass that didn’t have any visible tattoos but had some visible cellulite when I saw her walking. I decided to go talk to K (which is how I got her name, cleverly redacted to an initial to protect the guilty). Talked a little about private dances ($40 for one song, $100 for three) and I said I’d do three.

Private dance room is very dark with only a dim reddish light. Five other people were in there when we went in, including a couple where the wife or girlfriend was getting a lap dance and the husband/boyfriend was saying all sorts of stupid shit like “is that your ass?” What did he think? That she had an ass transplant? Maybe he was asking whether she had butt implants, but I doubt it because the dancers butt wasn’t that big. Regardless, he kept repeating it and it was irritating because he was a loud idiot. Fortunately, the other people left and it was just me and K for one final song.

That’s when the little head started making decisions. Non-brilliant decisions! K asked if I wanted VIP. She said it was $400 for 30 minutes but tipping the waitress an extra $100 would get us longer (she said 15 minutes). She said we would definitely have “fun”. I didn’t have $400 cash on me (when I looked I realized I was down to a bit over $100) and the ATM in the club only gave out a max of $100, so one of the bouncers pointed me to an ATM across the street with a low fee and K said she’d hold onto my drink.

Once I got the cash we went to a different room. Brighter with three couches and a high table. Then we waited because I had to pay a waitress and one was supposedly going to come but she didn’t. At one point K exited the room to go track her down. Seemed like forever. Not brilliant! After about 10 or 15 min of basically hanging out, either alone or with a clothed K, the waitress finally arrives. Pay her $400 (apparently $300 goes to the dancer, but the club has to see the full $400) and give the waitress a $100 tip. So now I think the fun will start!

K turns off the lights. I can barely see! Not brilliant! :(

Then she starts giving a lap dance after stripping down to her thong. About 5 minutes in she starts pretending to give a BJ through the pants, so I’m thinking that things are looking up! Brilliant! Little 4got is pretty hard and wanting to have fun.

Then she stops and explains the rules. She’ll play with herself and I can get naked and play with myself. Not brilliant! I ask if anything more was available for a bit more money. She said she doesn’t do that. Not brilliant to the extreme! But at that point my choice was blue balls or jacking off, so I jacked off. I bent over periodically to suck on her tits while she played with herself, but I couldn’t even see her well. I did cum and she gave me a paper towel to clean up.

All in all, the verdict is “not brilliant!” And a lesson was learned by Mr. 4got! What was that lesson? Don’t 4get to use the big head!

https://www.tuscl.net/club.php?ID=643