I know many of you on here are experienced pros at OTC. I have met a couple of different dancers in the past a couple of times OTC for dinner but nothing more has been offered and I didn't ask. I am kind of shy. My current favorite though is so HOT. I have had one dinner OTC with her but I have now gone to see her and get many dances from her 2 times since then and we have had plans to meet OTC one other time and possible plans another time. I feel we will meet again OTC but don't know how to ask or figure out if she is just meeting me to get me to keep coming and getting lap dances or if she has some interest in me as a Friends With Benefits or something. I would really like that but don't know the best way to find out her TRUE motives.
An OTC meeting is generally regarded as a meeting for sex. Certainly doesn't have to be. My first with my ATF was to help her buy a truck. I was her "father" and only there to offer her advice. The dealer dealt with only her.
We met many times OTC, but never for just sexual purposes.
My first OTC was after itc sex and I pointed out the financial benefit to her and to me without paying $300 to the club for an hour's VIP. Another fave offers no extras and I've met her for lunch a couple of times. Talk with her; embolden yourself. Practice being clear about what you want and decide before hand what you'll pay. I'm assuming you've not paid for the woman's time when you've met for lunch. If you want it to lead to a hotel room then at least bring her a nice gift for seeing her for lunch.
So do you guys ALWAYS end up paying for sex from a dancer? Have you not had one who was interested in you and you didn't have to pay anything. I could be wrong but I think my CF would be offended if I asked and offered to pay.....I think she would see that like a prostitute and I don't think she thinks of herself that way.
The only person in your relationship getting any benefits right now is her -- free meals and somewhat guaranteed lap-dance sales. If you want to be the platonic PL, keep going this route, complete with her hand on your wallet. If you want to do an actual OTC -- real sex with a real stripper -- you'll have to get a little more forward with her.
Start it off in the club, get a little hands-on, and see how things go from there. If she pushes your hands away and starts copping a stuck-up prude attitude, all you'll be seeing is lunch. If she starts encouraging more, ask her just how far you two can go.
But keep the prices within reason. Check your local market for average market value and go from there. If she says you can do her for $1000 and the local market value is $300, tell her no, it ain't happening. If she's in the right ballpark, it's a good start to a good mutually beneficial business relationship.
Even if you are the most shy guy on earth, you should never be shy at a strip club or dealing with strippers. It's the one place where even the biggest looser will usually succeed as long as he has $. You are the king of Olathe Kansas strip clubs wherever that is so start fucking acting like it.
You've taken it very slow. Too slow. It's time to pick up the pace. Since it sounds like you don't know what to say, here is something like what I might say. "You are gorgeous and I love spending time with you. After I take you out to a nice dinner, the next time I would love to go back to my hotel room and have some fun. As I hope you know, I'm a very respectful and safe guy, and I'd be very generous with you too."
That should get the ball rolling. If she is open to it then you start to talk details. If she says no I don't do that then you have you answer. Either keep hanging out with her without sex or move on. Or she might delay, saying not now but maybe after I know you better. This last one could be genuine it it could be that she is just dragging you along and is afraid you'll stop spending money on her if she says no outright. But no matter what the answer you won't know til you ask.
She will not be offended by you asking, and offering her money. She knows that sex is what you want, and she is a sex worker. She gets asked for sex constantly. Whether she plays or not it is definitely ok to ask. Man up.
Jay, yes some girls will see you for free but it's rare, very rare, almost as rare as a unicorn. In 8 years of steady OTC I think it has happened 5 times to me and 2 of those times the dancer was drunk so not sure if they would have agreed so easily sober.
I've had encounters where a girl will meet me for OTC (sex) and the vibe is "she's meeting me because she likes me." Usually after the session in the hotel room I will slip money into her purse in front of her to kill that awkwardness of her having to ask, even though she's too embarrassed to ask. Also I determine the rate by making the first move, making sure it's fair for both parties.
I'm not sure of your situation - if you're local or visiting her and you're an out of towner... But I agree with the advice above try to push the limits inside the club and see where that gets you - if all goes well maybe you should suggest "hey would you like to go to dinner and then back to my hotel room for awhile." Or maybe tell her something like "I'm really attracted to you and I would really like to do things with you that I can't inside this club, how do you feel about that."
Yes, okay, to give a less snarky response, I agree with the above advice you've gotten, and think it's silly you feel like you shouldn't bring up $. But hey, you gotta be you, and if you absolutely can't bring yourself to bring up money first, that's okay. The "I love hanging out with you! Would you like to go get drinks and then grab a hotel room" approach is fine, and I've done that myself at times. In fact, I've done that with strippers and we didn't discuss price until afterwards when we were parting, and each time, we settled on VERY reasonable prices -- although if you do this, you have to be prepared for the possibility of getting quoted not-very-reasonable prices, and that could ruin the stripper/client relationship you have.
Among the possible upsides, if you really like her and like spending time with her ... For about a year I had a great thing going with a stripper who 1. was a VERY late sleeper, didn't like to get up before noon, and 2. Lived an hour from the club. Between #1 and #2, she was constantly getting in for her dayshifts hours late and getting fined and suspended. So we had this awesome thing going: If she was working Wednesday dayshift, I'd get us a hotel room that was literally around the corner from her club Tuesday night, we'd spend Tuesday night drinking and sexing, then we'd cuddle all night (ya, I dig that, fuck you guys if you don't like it :) , I'd wake her up at 10:30 or 11am, she'd shower and stumble her way to work on time. She so loved this, that she eventually stopped asking for any fee at all.
noon ... you don't know what a late sleeper is. The DS has slept til 4 pm and even then I had to wake her. But yeah I could cuddle with her all night. Come to think of it I just did.
Too many PLs; especially inexperienced ones; confuse business w/ pleasure.
It is a stripper’s job to make you feel like they “genuinely” like you; the better they are at this the more $$$ they are often able to fleece from custies.
SHE IS A SEX WORKER – if you are paying her $$$ then the normal male/female “rules” go out the window 99.9% of the time.
You are not the first PL to genuinely think “I think she (dancer) really likes me” – this happens ALL THE TIME in strip clubs and most that have shared their experience have come to find out it was all about the $$$ - many of these dancers will go on “dates” w/ PLs and they actually, and often do, have a boyfriend.
Dancers very very rarely hook up w/ normal guys – more often than not they hook up with tatted up unemployed/under-employed dudes and only “date” “normal’ guys for the possible disposable income they may have and that they (dancers) can get their hands on.
What is the age difference b/w you and her – if it’s under 15 years then there might be a slight (5% or less) chance that she is genuinely into you; o/w forget it.
You don’t want a stripper for a girlfriend or even casual dating; even if you think you do (unless you fit the profile of a unemployed/underemployed douche) – if you want sex from her then just bring it up – you are a man – she is a woman – what’s wrong w/ sex b/w a man and a woman – she’ll either say yes; no; or will ask for compensation “for her troubles” LOL – it’s not as if you are asking her for a kidney.
Nice guys finish last – and when it comes to strippers; they finish last and often broke.
If you communicate with the girl in ways which are completely civilian, and if you are willing to jump through a few hoops she sets up, then the chances of an entirely off the clock relationship can be good.
But doing P4P for Free, no, that would really insult her.
jayhawk posted: "...I feel we will meet again OTC but don't know how to ask or figure out if she is just meeting me to get me to keep coming and getting lap dances or if she has some interest in me as a Friends With Benefits or something. I would really like that but don't know the best way to find out her TRUE motives."
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If she was looking for a FWB and was interested in you for the role, you'd probably already know. It sounds like she's trying to keep you on the hook for club visits.
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We met many times OTC, but never for just sexual purposes.
OK now that you're done projecting your own moral values on her. She knows what she does and why she does it.
The only way she would be offended is if you offered to pay too small an amount. $500 is compliment; $50 is an insult.
Start it off in the club, get a little hands-on, and see how things go from there. If she pushes your hands away and starts copping a stuck-up prude attitude, all you'll be seeing is lunch. If she starts encouraging more, ask her just how far you two can go.
But keep the prices within reason. Check your local market for average market value and go from there. If she says you can do her for $1000 and the local market value is $300, tell her no, it ain't happening. If she's in the right ballpark, it's a good start to a good mutually beneficial business relationship.
You've taken it very slow. Too slow. It's time to pick up the pace. Since it sounds like you don't know what to say, here is something like what I might say. "You are gorgeous and I love spending time with you. After I take you out to a nice dinner, the next time I would love to go back to my hotel room and have some fun. As I hope you know, I'm a very respectful and safe guy, and I'd be very generous with you too."
That should get the ball rolling. If she is open to it then you start to talk details. If she says no I don't do that then you have you answer. Either keep hanging out with her without sex or move on. Or she might delay, saying not now but maybe after I know you better. This last one could be genuine it it could be that she is just dragging you along and is afraid you'll stop spending money on her if she says no outright. But no matter what the answer you won't know til you ask.
She will not be offended by you asking, and offering her money. She knows that sex is what you want, and she is a sex worker. She gets asked for sex constantly. Whether she plays or not it is definitely ok to ask. Man up.
I've had encounters where a girl will meet me for OTC (sex) and the vibe is "she's meeting me because she likes me." Usually after the session in the hotel room I will slip money into her purse in front of her to kill that awkwardness of her having to ask, even though she's too embarrassed to ask. Also I determine the rate by making the first move, making sure it's fair for both parties.
I'm not sure of your situation - if you're local or visiting her and you're an out of towner... But I agree with the advice above try to push the limits inside the club and see where that gets you - if all goes well maybe you should suggest "hey would you like to go to dinner and then back to my hotel room for awhile." Or maybe tell her something like "I'm really attracted to you and I would really like to do things with you that I can't inside this club, how do you feel about that."
Among the possible upsides, if you really like her and like spending time with her ... For about a year I had a great thing going with a stripper who 1. was a VERY late sleeper, didn't like to get up before noon, and 2. Lived an hour from the club. Between #1 and #2, she was constantly getting in for her dayshifts hours late and getting fined and suspended. So we had this awesome thing going: If she was working Wednesday dayshift, I'd get us a hotel room that was literally around the corner from her club Tuesday night, we'd spend Tuesday night drinking and sexing, then we'd cuddle all night (ya, I dig that, fuck you guys if you don't like it :) , I'd wake her up at 10:30 or 11am, she'd shower and stumble her way to work on time. She so loved this, that she eventually stopped asking for any fee at all.
It is a stripper’s job to make you feel like they “genuinely” like you; the better they are at this the more $$$ they are often able to fleece from custies.
SHE IS A SEX WORKER – if you are paying her $$$ then the normal male/female “rules” go out the window 99.9% of the time.
You are not the first PL to genuinely think “I think she (dancer) really likes me” – this happens ALL THE TIME in strip clubs and most that have shared their experience have come to find out it was all about the $$$ - many of these dancers will go on “dates” w/ PLs and they actually, and often do, have a boyfriend.
Dancers very very rarely hook up w/ normal guys – more often than not they hook up with tatted up unemployed/under-employed dudes and only “date” “normal’ guys for the possible disposable income they may have and that they (dancers) can get their hands on.
What is the age difference b/w you and her – if it’s under 15 years then there might be a slight (5% or less) chance that she is genuinely into you; o/w forget it.
You don’t want a stripper for a girlfriend or even casual dating; even if you think you do (unless you fit the profile of a unemployed/underemployed douche) – if you want sex from her then just bring it up – you are a man – she is a woman – what’s wrong w/ sex b/w a man and a woman – she’ll either say yes; no; or will ask for compensation “for her troubles” LOL – it’s not as if you are asking her for a kidney.
Nice guys finish last – and when it comes to strippers; they finish last and often broke.
1) do you pay her when goes on OTC non-sex dates w/ you?
2) has she asked you for $$$ b/c she has had some “money issues” or “emergencies”?
3) do you regularly score w/ women of her caliber outside the club?
If the answers to 1) or 2) above is “yes” – then most likely you are being played
If the answer to 3) is “no” then stop drinking the Koolaid.
If you have the time; read thru these two related recent threads:
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…
But doing P4P for Free, no, that would really insult her.
SJG
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If she was looking for a FWB and was interested in you for the role, you'd probably already know. It sounds like she's trying to keep you on the hook for club visits.
Time to saddle up and make her a p4p offer.
That's one of the funniest posts I've read in a while even though it was kinda cruel to the OTC newbie.