Who's ready for a religious experience
whodey
Fat bastard that can afford to fuck hot strippers
http://www.local12.com/news/features/top…
When the developers of a swingers club were denied building permits the reclassified it as a church. The submitted the exact same plans but renamed the "dungeon" as a" choir room" and the "game room" as a "fellowship hall."
Maybe we could use this method to help get around zoning for strip clubs. The stage could be the "alter" where the priestess could spread her message to the masses. The private lapdance booths could be called "confessionals" so we can confess our sins and everything that happens in them would be privileged. Our tips could be a form of "tithing" since many of us already spend 10% of our money there.
Apparently all that we would have to do is prove that worship services take place. I know that several trips to the vip, i mean "sanctuary" have ended with a religious experience with someone calling god's name.
The only question is what should we call this new church?
When the developers of a swingers club were denied building permits the reclassified it as a church. The submitted the exact same plans but renamed the "dungeon" as a" choir room" and the "game room" as a "fellowship hall."
Maybe we could use this method to help get around zoning for strip clubs. The stage could be the "alter" where the priestess could spread her message to the masses. The private lapdance booths could be called "confessionals" so we can confess our sins and everything that happens in them would be privileged. Our tips could be a form of "tithing" since many of us already spend 10% of our money there.
Apparently all that we would have to do is prove that worship services take place. I know that several trips to the vip, i mean "sanctuary" have ended with a religious experience with someone calling god's name.
The only question is what should we call this new church?
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13 comments
1. If you call something an ALTAR, you may lose all the Protestants, as we don't have altars, but communion tables. I think the bar would be ideal for this function.
2. The stage in a church is called a chancel. Clearly, the minister/priest (there's one of those pesky differences between Catholics and Protestants again) would preside with all of his acolytes (dancers). Maybe they could even do sensuous things with hot wax!
3. One possible solution would be to rotate Catholic, Protestant and Jewish perspectives throughout the evening - that way we could cover all the bases.
4. We Protestants don't have confessionals either. However, in the interest of ecumenical peace, I would certainly be willing to compromise.
5. The tithing thing is brilliant, and I don't think that we will have a problem exceeding the average church's threshold!
Finally, when we are going to the club and our SO asks where we are going, we can truthfully answer, "I'm going to church!"
It's Brilliant!
http://caw.org/content/
A few (actually, about 35 years ago!) a group of us were returning from a mission trip to Jamaica and were going through Customs and were declaring our stuff. The agent asked the purpose of our trip and when we said "church mission trip" he grimaced a bit and said, "Oh? What denomination?". "Presbyterian. . Visibly relieved, he said, "That's good. Presbyterians always declare their liquor. If you'd said Baptist, I'd have had to go through all your bags."
This lapsed catholic has been looking for a reason to go back to church and this may be just what I need.
But, if you make a strip club members only, you do get around all zoning and public nudity or sex act rules.
SJG