Two. Strippers make fun dates (when they show up), but sex workers are usually not normal people until/unless they quit the sex industry. They don't follow any particular rules...just like a lot of musicians now that I think about it! You have to take them on their own terms and not take it personally when they act like irresponsible children.
Yes, and basically sworn off it, for roughly the reason laid out by rockstar, except that I'd add, even after they quit the industry, many take their damage with them. Instead, the past few years, a small number of times I turned the relationship to fuck-buddies rather than dating or anything that implies any kind of commitment, and that is a FAR more fun & satisfying relationship with strippers. Based on my very few experiences actually dating a stripper, and few guys I know who have done the same, I would not suggest dating a stripper to my worst enemy. Well, okay, maybe to my worst enemy, but that's it.
@Subraman: Yes, a dancer as a fuck-buddy works well. You do have to pay of course, but it's worth it if you're into her because it's all above board. Having an actual "relationship" is not something I'd choose anymore. I prefer civi g/f's even though they're not the eye candy of a dancer (at least in my case)...
I actually mean that a few times, I've managed to turn the relationship to sex outside the club, without paying. Of course, lots of times I've done the for-pay OTCsex route, but I don't think that's what the OP means, he means a no-pay relationship. In fact, I had one weird relationship where I still visited her in the club as a customer (and paid her, of course), but OTC encounters were free (minus dinner, drinks, etc)
Yes... I have. They all were not locally but in some cases I saw one at least once every two weeks. They all were crazy in their own ways but on the stripper scale their craziness was quite low. All non smokers and non drug users. Two didn't even drink. One wasn't fucking guys on the side, one definitely was and the last... not sure. She protected her phone with her life but other than that she did nothing suspect.
I'm with most other on here. I really don't want to be your buddy or talk to you on the phone. Just come to my hotel and fuck me then be on your way. I'll be more than happy to pay you for that and I'll occasionally take you out to eat. Other than that leave me alone! Lol
" I really don't want to be your buddy or talk to you on the phone. Just come to my hotel and fuck me then be on your way." I'm okay with all those things. I absolutely truly like the girls I see, plus I don't think any of them would have come fuck me FOR FREE if they weren't getting something more than sex out of it -- talk on the phone, hang out and have drinks, be their buddy. There's no right or wrong, obviously, for me I really love the for-free fuck buddy relationship. What I avoid at all costs is going past that, where I'm invested in her in some way, like true romantic feelings I have towards a girlfriend -- that's just been a recipe for hurt, disappointment, betrayal, confusion, etc. But as fuckbuddies, friends-with-benefits, whatever -- it is pretty fucking awesome to have a stripper in your life, and I think part of the reason I pull it off is because the girls sense I do actually like them and care, faults-and-all.
Years ago when I was a very young man. Was set up by a mutual friend and neither of us were aware she was dancing (all I was told was she was a college student). After a few dates we started getting serious she told me, and that she was saving the money for law school. I knew the club was just a go go bar and no private dances or anything, and she told me that although some of the other girls did some OTC she didn't (and I believe her to this day about that). Club had a strict rule no boyfriends/husbands of dancers allowed while they were working, but did hang out there quite a bit when her shift ended and it was quite a bit of fun (you wanna get hit on by a lot of hot dancers, be dating one of them!). Was all good till she graduated and went off to law school, then we just drifted apart.
I have been dating a stripper and now living with her for 20 months. I am 55 and she is 31. There has been drama at times but not huge and she is a better partner in most ways than both my ex wives.
@ranukam "I'm positively sure I would never do it again" Until the next time. ;)
I've done it and will probably do it again. A friend of mine who happens to be a strip club bartender says I have a much higher tolerance for drama than most guys.
Yes, and while boyfriends husbands etc were barred from the club I was an exception, mostly because the owner knew that it was not going to be a problem for him, and had resolved a couple of problems for him in the past. And impala is right about being hit on. Gwin took it vey well, and even offered a 'bonus' to any of the other girls who could get me to have sex with them. Fortunately I knew far better than to let anyone win but it was fun ........
I agree with that part -- that's what I meant when I referenced that Seinfeld episode. But, from experience, I'll tell you that you don't have to be in a committed relationship with a stripper to get that treatment. Even just a fuckbuddy relationship gets you the treatment from the other strippers. What's particularly funny is how intensely your stripper's frenemies and enemies will pursue you, sometimes
If the dating question refers to outside the club relationships with dancers without money, then yes, several times. Whenever I went somewhere with a dancer, I just never called it a date. One dancer I know now wants to call it a date if we go somewhere.
I've done it.
I won't do it again though. In all cases, it didn't work out well. The other girls at the club knew we were a couple. And therefore whenever I went in to the club, I was limited in being able to get dancers from any other girl. And if I did end up getting dances, it got back to my stripper girlfriend.
So I ended up just going to other clubs when she wasn't working. :)
It was interesting and fun at times. But I won't do it again.
I think it was Charlie Sheen who said: "I'm not paying you to stay. I'm paying you money to go away."
I keep that mantra now and only do OTC once in a while and never on an ongoing basis.
I don't think I ever went to another strip club with a dancer, it was always a regular club. The dancer I was with did not want to visit a strip club on her time off. I heard the main reason some of them might visit would be just to check it out in case she was thinking about working there.
I guess it can “technically” work but when dating somebody one is inevitably dating their problems/issues also.
Strippers normally become strippers b/c they want or need $$$ - and IMO/IME dating a stripper will often deal w/ $$$ b/c most probably can’t do anything else to make the same $$$ they are making stripping – so if you are dating one; then you gotta be ok w/ then also continuing to strip o/w you’ll probably have to financially support her fully or to some extent – and even if they continue to strip; they often have $$$ issues they will look at you to help them with – if you are ok w/ this then it has a better chance of realistically working.
I dated one once and it was a fiasco – but then again I was not aware of what I was in for.
"
There's nothing special to hanging out with dancers.
I'm still doing it, hanging out is not a big deal.
Don't know why you guys make it like it is one most special or crappiest thing.
"
This has got to be the most sensible thing I have ever read on TUSCL. This I know is from a man who has very little in terms of a boundary between his personal life and his life in the strip club. He clearly treats his dancers just as he does any other women. Of course I agree with him completely and I hope to have my own life set up just as he has his now.
Dating strippers, or fuckbuddies with strippers, or hanging out or whatever, is completely different than dating civilian women, IME. Doesn't mean I don't treat them with the same respect I would any other woman -- by the time I'm having sex, for free, with an incredibly hot 25-year-old, chances are I'm treating her pretty damn good -- but the experience with strippers is utterly different than dating the 38-year-old sales executive I dated last year, or the 44-year-old high tech lawyer I dated earlier this year, or ... well, any civilian woman I've dated, period. There are crazy ups and downs -- special things and crappy things -- that have been universal experiences in hanging out with strippers, that haven't happened with civilians. If you don't believe that, SJG, good luck to you :)
Dating a 40 year old professional is always going to be different than dating a 20 something service worker. Shit, back in my dating prime when I would juggle ladies, there was a big difference between late 20s professionals and 20 year old college girls.
Having never dated a stripper, I do have to imagine a huge difference between casual dating and being in a "relationship". The former seems more like the sweet spot, but with women it's often tricky to maintain.
Yes, for sure, and it's different dating a 20-something professional and 20-something service worker, and different dating a 20-something service professional and 20-something stripper ... again, in my experience, but I think the many guys who echo'ed they wouldn't date (as in "relationship") again is some proof that my experience is mostly representative (though obviously, there's always a few exceptions that prove the rule). That said, the same craziness that makes it so iffy to be in a relationship, can make it a rockin' good time to casually date, be fuck buddies, etc.
"I guess it can “technically” work but when dating somebody one is inevitably dating their problems/issues also."
I understand what you mean by that.
The thing to remember when hanging out with dancers is to simply be the GUY.
And if you know how to be that GUY she will like you like you are the only man on the planet. Of course that sounds BS but you should have done your homework, or met dudes that fit this profile.
"This I know is from a man who has very little in terms of a boundary between his personal life and his life in the strip club."
Dude, wat you saying? You seem to be pulling it out of you ____.
Regular women and strippers, stop comparing the two, both are still under the category of women. They are the same.
Don't chase these women around. Let them work it, a dancer should see you like a challenge and if you display yourself as something else, welcome to the friendzone or ATMzone.
"very little in terms of a boundary between his personal life and his life in the strip club"
What I mean is that it sounds like when you are in an SC you are just yourself. You present yourself as you are, like you are not trying to hide anything of your personal life.
People who are in an SC because they want to cheat on their wives have to maintain an identity barrier. Of course the girls pick right up on this instantly and it completely colors how they relate to the guy.
Also, lots of people, not me, treat strippers as though they are in some special category different from other women and not eligible for ordinary relationships. Some people even have sex with them and then make hundreds of posts on places like TUSCL, talking about them in derisive terms.
That was what I meant, you are just yourself and you are basically open with them.
So obviously you are going to be getting along with them very easily. And as I can see this, I believe what you say. Whereas with some of these other people I know that their experiences are completely driven by the negative attitudes they approach the women with.
36 comments
I actually mean that a few times, I've managed to turn the relationship to sex outside the club, without paying. Of course, lots of times I've done the for-pay OTCsex route, but I don't think that's what the OP means, he means a no-pay relationship. In fact, I had one weird relationship where I still visited her in the club as a customer (and paid her, of course), but OTC encounters were free (minus dinner, drinks, etc)
I'm with most other on here. I really don't want to be your buddy or talk to you on the phone. Just come to my hotel and fuck me then be on your way. I'll be more than happy to pay you for that and I'll occasionally take you out to eat. Other than that leave me alone! Lol
I've done it and will probably do it again. A friend of mine who happens to be a strip club bartender says I have a much higher tolerance for drama than most guys.
I've done it.
I won't do it again though. In all cases, it didn't work out well. The other girls at the club knew we were a couple. And therefore whenever I went in to the club, I was limited in being able to get dancers from any other girl. And if I did end up getting dances, it got back to my stripper girlfriend.
So I ended up just going to other clubs when she wasn't working. :)
It was interesting and fun at times. But I won't do it again.
I think it was Charlie Sheen who said: "I'm not paying you to stay. I'm paying you money to go away."
I keep that mantra now and only do OTC once in a while and never on an ongoing basis.
Too many strippers in the sea to sample. lol.
I'm still doing it, hanging out is not a big deal.
Don't know why you guys make it like it is one most special or crappiest thing.
Strippers normally become strippers b/c they want or need $$$ - and IMO/IME dating a stripper will often deal w/ $$$ b/c most probably can’t do anything else to make the same $$$ they are making stripping – so if you are dating one; then you gotta be ok w/ then also continuing to strip o/w you’ll probably have to financially support her fully or to some extent – and even if they continue to strip; they often have $$$ issues they will look at you to help them with – if you are ok w/ this then it has a better chance of realistically working.
I dated one once and it was a fiasco – but then again I was not aware of what I was in for.
"
There's nothing special to hanging out with dancers.
I'm still doing it, hanging out is not a big deal.
Don't know why you guys make it like it is one most special or crappiest thing.
"
This has got to be the most sensible thing I have ever read on TUSCL. This I know is from a man who has very little in terms of a boundary between his personal life and his life in the strip club. He clearly treats his dancers just as he does any other women. Of course I agree with him completely and I hope to have my own life set up just as he has his now.
SJG
Stones, Zurich 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNHGC85q…
SJG
Having never dated a stripper, I do have to imagine a huge difference between casual dating and being in a "relationship". The former seems more like the sweet spot, but with women it's often tricky to maintain.
I understand what you mean by that.
The thing to remember when hanging out with dancers is to simply be the GUY.
And if you know how to be that GUY she will like you like you are the only man on the planet. Of course that sounds BS but you should have done your homework, or met dudes that fit this profile.
C'mon man, it's not that hard to figure that out.
Dude, wat you saying? You seem to be pulling it out of you ____.
Regular women and strippers, stop comparing the two, both are still under the category of women. They are the same.
Don't chase these women around. Let them work it, a dancer should see you like a challenge and if you display yourself as something else, welcome to the friendzone or ATMzone.
What I mean is that it sounds like when you are in an SC you are just yourself. You present yourself as you are, like you are not trying to hide anything of your personal life.
People who are in an SC because they want to cheat on their wives have to maintain an identity barrier. Of course the girls pick right up on this instantly and it completely colors how they relate to the guy.
Also, lots of people, not me, treat strippers as though they are in some special category different from other women and not eligible for ordinary relationships. Some people even have sex with them and then make hundreds of posts on places like TUSCL, talking about them in derisive terms.
That was what I meant, you are just yourself and you are basically open with them.
So obviously you are going to be getting along with them very easily. And as I can see this, I believe what you say. Whereas with some of these other people I know that their experiences are completely driven by the negative attitudes they approach the women with.
Sorry I wasn't more clear in my earlier post.
SJG