tuscl

OT: Weird thoughts!

4got2wipe
In a brilliant place!
I've been thinking about things and I realized that one thing you don't see much in America is a bidet! I've decided that I really want a bidet! They're brilliant!

How about you guys?

22 comments

  • EarlTee
    •
    10 years ago
    When I travel to Europe, I never use them, so I guess I don't need one in America. Of course, my name isn't 4got2wipe.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    10 years ago
    Elizabeth Warren has convinced President Obama to protect the public by issuing an executive order requiring all products to have clear English names. So you can't call it a bidet. You now have to call it an anus hoser. Still want one?
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago

    Bidet's are brilliant.

    http://youtu.be/uYIe9o2jMSE

    G'day mate
  • Clubber
    •
    10 years ago
    motor,

    Not you too!
  • Diva1975
    •
    10 years ago
    Motörhead is brilliant!
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    Ditch the 1-ply, and use 2-ply toilet paper. No need for a bidet. Just wipe your ass.
  • AnonymousJim
    •
    10 years ago
    I saw an article a while back about how America is one of the few places they haven't taken hold. It then discussed some sort of high-tech Japanese toilet that's on the market for some number of thousands of dollars with a heated seat, a bidet option with various speed settings, water temperatures and adjustments, etc.

    I'd try it. But I'm not spending a butt-tonne of money on a toilet when I could spend it on club activities.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    I want one of those ultrasexy, heated self-opening and closing toilets, built in bidet and probably a machine to pleasure me! And only about $8000! Gotta have one to put me firmly in the ranks of LMN and all the other 0.1 Percenter's! Gotta gotta gotta have one for each bath!

    Er, can I borrow a roll of single-ply tissue from one of you?
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    10 years ago
    Well damn if toilet paper really isn't enough, you still don't need all that expensive extra plumbing. Just marry someone with a decent aim. Then go to Toys-R-Us and pick up a super-soaker.
  • Josh43
    •
    10 years ago
    "Elizabeth Warren has convinced President Obama to protect the public by issuing an executive order requiring all products to have clear English names. So you can't call it a bidet. You now have to call it an anus hoser. Still want one?"
    --------------------------
    For Christ's sake Ilbbi, absolutely everyone knows the GOP is the party of xenophobia. During Bush/Cheney we were forced to call it "anal waterboarding." Still want one?
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    "Anal waterboarding" - brilliant!

    Fortunately I don't breath through my anus! In fact, I bet spraying a guys ass with a bidet is not an effective way to get information at black sites!
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    Seriously though, I bet a bidet would be a conversation starter when I have dates over! I could use the line "bidets - aka anal hosers - are just brilliant!"

    Plus, you should remember that you clean off all that ball sweat too! A clean asshole and a clean taint! Brilliant!
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    You guys didn't know that bidet is French for anal hoser? Sheesh! ;-)
  • crazyjoe
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^Use listermint for a fresh ass he
  • crazyjoe
    •
    10 years ago
    for a fresh ass hole. That will freshen your breath too.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    Crazyjoe - brilliant idea! Minty fresh asshole!
  • crazyjoe
    •
    10 years ago
  • PhantomGeek
    •
    10 years ago
    ATACDawg, that's probably what some French-Canadians call other people: "What a bidet, eh?"
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    If anyone has ever visited a public toilet that hasn't been cleaned recently, it's easy to see that water doesn't cut the cheese or clean all that shit away all the time.
    no thanks.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    10 years ago
    Shark has a sand-blaster-bidet.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    "Sand-blaster bidet" - brilliant!
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    Sharkhunter - but I think crazyjoe is implying that he believes that listermint will succeed as asshole cleaner when water alone fails! The question that occurs to me is whether the order of asshole cleaner effectiveness is:

    listermint > water > paper

    or

    listermint > paper > water

    What do you say crazyjoe? You're just brilliant when it comes to shit!
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