I've been thinking about things and I realized that one thing you don't see much in America is a bidet! I've decided that I really want a bidet! They're brilliant!
Elizabeth Warren has convinced President Obama to protect the public by issuing an executive order requiring all products to have clear English names. So you can't call it a bidet. You now have to call it an anus hoser. Still want one?
I saw an article a while back about how America is one of the few places they haven't taken hold. It then discussed some sort of high-tech Japanese toilet that's on the market for some number of thousands of dollars with a heated seat, a bidet option with various speed settings, water temperatures and adjustments, etc.
I'd try it. But I'm not spending a butt-tonne of money on a toilet when I could spend it on club activities.
I want one of those ultrasexy, heated self-opening and closing toilets, built in bidet and probably a machine to pleasure me! And only about $8000! Gotta have one to put me firmly in the ranks of LMN and all the other 0.1 Percenter's! Gotta gotta gotta have one for each bath!
Er, can I borrow a roll of single-ply tissue from one of you?
Well damn if toilet paper really isn't enough, you still don't need all that expensive extra plumbing. Just marry someone with a decent aim. Then go to Toys-R-Us and pick up a super-soaker.
"Elizabeth Warren has convinced President Obama to protect the public by issuing an executive order requiring all products to have clear English names. So you can't call it a bidet. You now have to call it an anus hoser. Still want one?"
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For Christ's sake Ilbbi, absolutely everyone knows the GOP is the party of xenophobia. During Bush/Cheney we were forced to call it "anal waterboarding." Still want one?
Seriously though, I bet a bidet would be a conversation starter when I have dates over! I could use the line "bidets - aka anal hosers - are just brilliant!"
Plus, you should remember that you clean off all that ball sweat too! A clean asshole and a clean taint! Brilliant!
If anyone has ever visited a public toilet that hasn't been cleaned recently, it's easy to see that water doesn't cut the cheese or clean all that shit away all the time.
no thanks.
Sharkhunter - but I think crazyjoe is implying that he believes that listermint will succeed as asshole cleaner when water alone fails! The question that occurs to me is whether the order of asshole cleaner effectiveness is:
listermint > water > paper
or
listermint > paper > water
What do you say crazyjoe? You're just brilliant when it comes to shit!
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Bidet's are brilliant.
http://youtu.be/uYIe9o2jMSE
G'day mate
Not you too!
I'd try it. But I'm not spending a butt-tonne of money on a toilet when I could spend it on club activities.
Er, can I borrow a roll of single-ply tissue from one of you?
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For Christ's sake Ilbbi, absolutely everyone knows the GOP is the party of xenophobia. During Bush/Cheney we were forced to call it "anal waterboarding." Still want one?
Fortunately I don't breath through my anus! In fact, I bet spraying a guys ass with a bidet is not an effective way to get information at black sites!
Plus, you should remember that you clean off all that ball sweat too! A clean asshole and a clean taint! Brilliant!
no thanks.
listermint > water > paper
or
listermint > paper > water
What do you say crazyjoe? You're just brilliant when it comes to shit!