Really upset right now

22 comments

• GoVikings

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  9 years ago

  "She used to ignore my texts when I asked about her schedule. That really screwed up my self esteem and made me feel worthless." Relax a bit. It probably shouldnt be having THAT big of an impact on you. By the way, is she Latina? I'm only asking because in the bucket list thread you said you go for exclusively Latina dancers
• GACA

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  9 years ago

  Corrections she didn't cause you have self esteem issues -- you already have self esteem issues, and she can clearly sense that. Stripping is an emotional job and you are being an emotional drain. So she chooses to avoid you like the plague rather than be around. The best way to "win" her over is to let her be the favorite but not the only, that shot is fckn creepy, not romantic. If you are looking for a GF date the fat girl at work. If you are looking for a good time give up the creepy control you think your tiny bit if money entitled you to and start going with the flow. Build a reputation with the other girls first (cut you already blew it with this one) and she'll come around. Goodluck -- and please grow up, make it about others not yourself, it's called charm, then all kind of strippers will be coming after your money and good time
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  Vikings is right. Their girl isn't your girlfriend, and she shouldn't be able to damage your self esteem. She's a horrible businesswoman, or else she's just young immature and stupid, but don't take it personally. And it certainly shouldn't make you stop going to strip clubs just cause this one girl is a bitch. I'm sure you've noticed this, but the clubs are full of cute nude women. Many of them will give you a cell number, many will communicate with you responsibly, and some will have sex with you. You should have moved on long ago. Drop this one and quit worrying about it. Monogamy has no place in a strip club. Even if you have a dream stripper you get to play with other girls too. So it's fine to have a nice fav but you're not married.
• researchgirl

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  9 years ago

  Maybe your next time try a different club. New dancers and vibe might pick you up some. This time do not go in looking for her phone number off bat. You already intend on being her regular so there is no rush. Just need to know her schedule for now. Figure that out and keep up with it as best you can. Give her 3 good $$ paying visits without asking for her outside contact info (you have her please you, pay her for time and leave. Come back in knowing she will be there yet again, have her please you pay her for her time and leave) She will be surely more intrigued to see you in that 4th visit than the first few. Why? Because she knows you want her, she is familiar with you, she knows your about business and she will be more prone to please you. Now ask her for her number. She dont see you as desperate like when you ask on the first meet. But just my thoughts.
• xxxrated

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  9 years ago

  DO NOT ask that girl again about her phone number....Instead ............Pick and friendlier girl,when she approaches you tip her a lil cash,drink some beers together,ask simple questions, (let her do all the talking)girls love to talk ..... tip her lil more cash, Build some cameraderie. You can get a phone number indirectly. Buy her a beer and say something like"I don't club often but i will try to see next week " oh yea what's your text?" Strippers are basically party girls. There to make a lot of cash with no strings attached. Kind of manipulative. Although a few are good companions. A very hot stripper where every guy in the club wants, would probably be the type that won't interact socially with customers,ignores some customers,does hot lap dances and(strictly there to make cash and go home). Then there's the type of stripper who's more well grounded -more people oriented.........go for the latter for the companionship and conversational stuff...........
• GACA

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  9 years ago

  I should point out, some guys are very unaware of the vibe/attitude the exude. Know that if you are getting frustrated internally you are giving of a vibe/attitude. Pretend that people can see right through you, always feel like you are winning and fun internally, and your vibe will change. BUT more importantly, we all throw a little change at strippers we don't think are 10's and sometimes you'll be surprised with the experience ; )
• farmerart

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  9 years ago

  There is a reason that 'PL' figures prominently in stories and discussions here on tuscl. This post is a perfect depiction of a PL.
• jvTroop

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  9 years ago

  Just start jerking off in the corner and stop giving a fucc...everything i own smells like pussy cuz i charge it all to a bitch....get some pimpin
• grand1511

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  9 years ago

  Grow a pair
• jackslash

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  9 years ago

  "I am the type of PL that picks a favorite and stays "loyal" to her until I no longer feel attraction." I'm pretty much the same. But I think you're doing it wrong. This girl clearly doesn't care for you. It doesn't matter why. She's your type but you're not her type. Just forget her and move on. Find more than 1 favorite. Find a few girls in this club or in various clubs. Most of them will be happy to give your their number. As soon as you are seeing some other favorites, you won't feel bad about the one girl who doesn't appreciate you.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  Some strippers won't give you their number after seeing you for just the second time. As far as her not being there on the days she said would be there, that's typical stripper stuff, I would suggest you get used to it, because that will be common. If I were you I would move on from her and spend your money on other strippers. If do you see her again, you can still have fun with her ITC, but don't ask for her number again.
• sclvr5005

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  9 years ago

  Stop being a doormat. Move on to someone else, and stop picking one stripper to fawn all over. Variety is the spice of life.
• tumblingdice

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  9 years ago

  what a puss ,I think ur the one giving to the left of better than craigs list
• Bavarian

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  9 years ago

  Gentlemen, thanks for the reality check. I have no shame in admitting I am a pathetic loser when it comes to women. I'm really out of the norm. In my lifetime, I only approached one civvie. I got her cell # but it went nowhere. People say it's a numbers game. You have to approach 100s until you will eventually find one who wants to date you. I, like any other person, craves human touch. Getting to that point with a civvie requires mutual attraction. I figured strip clubs were an easy way to fill that craving. You find a stripper you like and you pay her. It would not matter if you were her type because they are just selling a service. I guess I was wrong. Some strippers are worse than civvies. I understand that strippers don't give a fuck about me, it's all about the money. I am OK with that because I am not trying to date them. All I expect from the stripper I like, is a good attitude and showing up. There are other strippers who are very professional. They keep a regular schedule, they approach me and engage in good conversation. I get a few dances from them to return the favor. Too bad I am not attracted to them. It's very difficult to understand how attraction works. People say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I took a cousin to the strip club and I pointed out to him my previous favorite. He did not find her attractive at all. To me a favorite is someone I lust for. Someone who turns me on and I don't mind spending hundreds or even thousands of dollars. I've only had two favorites and both have been less than professional with me. I guess I am like those women who are attracted to men that treat them like shit. @GoVikings - Yes, both of my favorites are Mexican ladies. To me they appear mid-20s but they claim to be 19. I have no reason to doubt them. They were surprised when I told them I was Mexican. They thought I was White. I figured I would get better treatment from someone I share a common heritage with, but I was wrong. Women will act the same way no matter where they were born. @GACAClub - You make some interesting points. I agree that the frustration inside me reflects on my face and body language. Some dancers have told me that they recognize me as a regular to the club but were reluctant to approach because I have a "serious" look on my face. My buddy who got the number does not have much going for him but he's always in a good mood and always a smile on his face.
• ilbbaicnl

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  9 years ago

  @Bavarian how old are you? When I was young, I thought a lot of things were common sense. Now there is no crazy shit that some people think or do that does or could surprise me. There are also things I do compulsively that make no sense. Like feeding stray animals. Best case just delays their horrible miserable death. Worst case they breed lots of offspring who all have horrible miserable deaths. People do what they do. Enjoy it when you like it, walk (or when necessary run) away when you don't. Don't analyze except for purposes of humor.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Strippers are not girlfriends – if you go to a strip club expecting to have your emotional needs met (romance; loneliness; etc) you will be perpetually disappointed – strip clubs and strippers are not the place to have one’s emotional needs met and if these are your conscious or subconscious expectations they you need to give yourself a serious reality check. You have your needs and they have theirs and these needs do not match up 99.9% of the time – a PL wants sex; attention; maybe romance/companionship – this is not on the minds of 99% of strippers - $$$ and only $$$ is on their minds and not a PL’s emotional well-being or his needs. Strip clubs are about business and $$$; not interpersonal relationships – if a business is not giving you what you want/expect; do you keep on patronizing that business? And as a final note – coming off as super-needy is about the biggest turnoff to any woman – one can’t force things and often times having a “don’t give a fuck attitude” works way better than acting super-needy/desperate.
• ilbbaicnl

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  9 years ago

  @Papi, I get the feeling you avoid the type of club that markets itself as "upscale". These clubs have few if any black dancers. Management will threaten any dancer who weighs more 130lbs with firing. Due to ignorance and limited choices, I used to frequent a club like this. In this club, there was a practice of PLs "buying out the night" of the dancer. Based on mutually agreed to arrangement, a dancer would spend the entire evening with a single customer. Not something that would fill any emotional need for me, but for some PLs, apparently it does. There were stories of these "relationships" ending badly, however, with the custy having expectations it would evolve into an IRL dating relationship.
• Bavarian

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  9 years ago

  @ilbbaicnl - I am a grown-ass man. I'm 35.
• rickdugan

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  9 years ago

  Yes strippers are getting paid, but they are still human beings. If you skeeve a girl out by coming across as too needy, she is likely to steer clear of you. But if I were you, I would avoid clubs altogether. You're too emotional about your dealings with strippers and, sooner or later, some girl is going to take advantage of you and get you on her pay-me-go-round with a romance hustle. Seriously dude, you sound like a lamb who continues to go into a wolf den begging for attention. At some point, the wrong girl is going to give it to you. Get a hobby. Do some charity work. Go to the gym. Become a stronger and more emotionally assured person. All of these things are better than going to a strip club in your mental state. heck, these things may also help you actually get laid by a girl who you don't have to pay upfront for affection.
• dw.buck

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  9 years ago

  Dude your going it at this all wrong - you got an agenda and almost wanting the stripper exclusively for you. just like strippers give off bad vibes gaming for money your giving off a PL vibe and the strippers are reading it clearly. dont quit the SC go in with a different attitude/angle. go in not looking for a girl but to have fun. if your dropping 500 a night at one club your doing something wrong. i can find clubs and barely spend any money but have a great time. there were times i walked in a club with $30 and had a blast of a night, there are other times i walked in with 300-400 and walked out with damn near all of it minus beer and entrance fee. take a different angle - go to have fun - my method i come in drop 2-3 bucks per stripper while they dance on stage to see what reaction i get. and if the vibes are right it will lead to conversations, private dances and more.
• JamesSD

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  9 years ago

  @bavarian, I feel for you, man. But you need to play the field. Make the girls work for your dollars. Get a few LDs from girls who may not be your perfect physical type but who seem likeable.
• Dougster

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  9 years ago

  RickyBoy: "Get a hobby. Do some charity work. Go to the gym. Become a stronger and more emotionally assured person. All of these things are better than going to a strip club in your mental state" Or just run The System when you do go,