Farmerart Dodges Not A Bullet But A Howitzer Shell
Back in early September I was chilling out in the local watering hole with the resident rednecks. I had just returned from a visit in Toronto with my Million Dollar Saloon sweetie and I was feeling especially mellow. Conversation turns to the upcoming county elections. The boys tell me to run for county councilor. I use the word "fuck" in as many contexts as possible to convey my feelings about this proposition.
"Another table full of beer" I say to the biker owner of our fine drinking establishment.
A couple of rounds later the subject arises again. I use the same word again but in capital letters - "FUCK YOU".
"More beer please, Godfrey".
Do you see where this is going? It seems that sometime during that unfortunate evening I actually signed the nomination papers!!
I lived in terror for three weeks that I would be elected. I couldn't stand the tension so I left for my condo in Vancouver. I did vote for my opponent in the advance poll before I left.
Last Monday was civic election day in Alberta - my opponent creams me: I lose magnificently. I joke about this but I do take civic responsibilities seriously. Is it time for farmerart to join AA?
Comments
last commentWell, shit! I thought I had the edit techniques figured out. I am such a useless putz. Help me out, georgmicrodong.
Hooray!! Idiot farmerart finally figured out the edit techniques. Back to MFC (both of them), george.
Farmerart is calling others "rednecks"?! I can't imagine what kind of inbred hillbillies live near him.
LOL/JK
I suspect you're like most people, art: unelectable. You don't lie well enough, and you have too much personal integrity to screw people over like a politico seemingly must do. And you have an additional handicap that I share. You're whoring about will come to light if any high enough office is at stake.
I ran for office twice. The first time, in a forum, I went first and made a speech about ten things I wanted to accomplish and how I was going to do it. My opponent got up and said "I think I can do a better job", then sat down. I lost by a margin of ten to one. A year later, when she had accomplished nothing but attend a few meetings, her supporters came to me and apologized for voting for her.
Nah farmer, you are just fine. AA is for quitters ;)
I'm a recovering alcoholic...I'm just now getting back into drinking
I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. I know cause I have a T-shirt that says so.