tuscl

Future of marriage as an institution?

Lone_Wolf
Arizona
Thursday, October 2, 2014 2:10 PM
Okay, so it appears one of our brethren has gotten engaged with the intent to marry and quit whoring. Although I wish him the best, I definitely would have been in the camp to say "don't fucking do it". I've seen too many friends go thru horrific divorces leaving everything in shambles. Years of hard work wiped out just because the honey wants her freedom or whatever. In fact, I'm surprised any man will get married nowadays. I know that statics show less and less men are getting married even though the same amount of women want marriage. Smart. I'm not advocating not having long term relationships. Also, both sides would need protection. It would be more on a contract basis versus outright marriage. I guess pre-nups help. My question for the team - given the devastation of the almost certain divorce, what is the future of marriage? Will it continue to live on in our culture or morph into something more mutually acceptable?

48 comments

  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    I don't know but for me I'll never get married again. No reason to.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    I know the answer (not really). But the trends suggest marriage being less popular as time goes by – some reasons reported: + young people wanting to get an education; i.e. college + advanced degrees; thus pushing marriage further back in life and maybe not doing at all + young people with tens of thousands in college debt and not wanting to get married under a mountain of debt + the availability of sex either via hook-ups or P4P w/ the internet making it easy to get the cuchie w/o commitment In general; young people are waiting longer and IMO the longer people wait the less they may want to take the plunge either b/c they have seen too much shit or decide they can have a better life w/o the commitment of a spouse and kids. The link below has been posted several times and was originally posted by TUSCLer “sinclair” – it’s an interesting take on relationships: [view link]
  • Clubber
    •
    10 years ago
    To old and married to long (over 44 years) to even worry about it.
  • jackslash
    •
    10 years ago
    There is no marriage in my future. All I'm looking for is sex with strippers.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    jack – you’re so shallow
  • sinclair
    •
    10 years ago
    This is a bad place to ask about marriage. Alot of the guys on here go to strip clubs because they are divorced, hate their wives, or are too wretched to attract a woman. Unfortunately, alot of people get married to the wrong person or are not able to compromise/give-and-take in the relationship. But some people do get married, make it work, and are happy until death do them part. My grandparents were married for 70 years; then again, they were very different then the "ME generation" of today.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Opinions I've heard seem to come out 50/50 for versus against.
  • farmerart
    •
    10 years ago
    I am a numbers guy. Stats say that a married man has a longer life expectancy than a single man. Since I am resolutely single I guess that I'm fucked for an especially long life.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Clubber, 44 years? Damn. You need strippers worse than I do. Farmerart, if there were stats on the subject, I'd bet regular strip club goers have the longest life expectancy of all, married or not. We have much less stress (high blood pressure, heart attacks, stroke, etc) because most of us get regular sex from strippers.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^ yeah, riiiiiiiggghhhhttttt....
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    What age did alutard and Yoda make it to?
  • Missionary
    •
    10 years ago
    Fuck marriage, I'm gon be a playa 4 life.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    The idea of marrying multiple wives didn't sound so bad to me. You could sleep with a different wife on different nights and all the women could work, raise the kids and take care of cooking etc. However it seemed like these families were always hard up for money and if you were expected to have sex with 4 or more women every week, you'd probably be too tired to bother with strip clubs.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Maybe it will just become a gay thing :)
  • Clubber
    •
    10 years ago
    JS69, Married young. Wife was 16 with we strayed dating.
  • IanSmith
    •
    10 years ago
    Marriage exists for one purpose and one purpose only. Children! I was going through women like pints of beer when I met wife #2 the Thai. We had a passionate and extremely volatile relationship. My constant coming and goings and extended absences while I made my fortune would drive her as crazy as a crazy Thai woman. I stayed awake many a night for fear she would slit my throat in my sleep. Then one day she ended up pregnant and I thought I should try settling down. We had a traditional Thai wedding, I built her a house and she popped out her first ‘trophy’ to show off to her family and slutty friends. She never again got upset when I left. Seems that I had made her ‘respectable’ and she became the submissive wife all women are born to be. That’s what marriage and children can do. Turn a crazy woman into the dream mate. We’ve now got six children and I still come and go as it suits me. Much the same story with wife #3. Wife #1 is a little different but she is French after all so what can you expect.
  • PhantomGeek
    •
    10 years ago
    Never have been married, never will be. Hell, I don't even date any more. Getting stuck on one end of the spectrum with crazy-ass drama from the women I knew to "sorry, I just see you as a friend" all the way on the other end (and almost never anything in between), I just don't see any point in even trying any more. Just gotta say, not dating has saved me a ton of money on Extra-Strength Tylenol.
  • KIL0
    •
    10 years ago
    Fuck pussy don't be one
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    No idea what the future of marriage will be, but as Papi says, statistics seems to point to it being much less popular right now. Which is good news. My question for any male considering it is simple: WHY? What possible fucking benefit will you get from entering into a legal obligation like that? If you have a job and are making decent money, it is highly likely that your wife will be the one who benefits from the marriage, not you. If you get divorced, you're fucked, plain and simple. She gets a whole boatload of shit she never earned, you did. She will inherit part of your estate if you die, even though you worked for it. She will benefit from any government benefits you might receive. Why? Who the fuck knows, that's how it is. The non-working person, usually the wife, benefits from the husband's earnings. YOU get fucking nothing from her. Again, the question is WHY?? What possible benefit will you receive, to counter the incredible fucking you get if you divorce. And the likelihood of that could be much greater than 50%. If you're doing it because you think you've got an assurance of great sex and someone who will care for you, you're fucking dreaming. And most married guys can attest to that. YES, there are some exceptions, but the chances that any one guy will be an exception are exceedingly small. Maybe a few percent at best. But the chances of divorce are greater than 50%. Why play insane odds like that? Women want security, and marriage is their chance at security. They benefit from a binding legal contract. You don't. Marriage is designed for women, not men. Date them, spend years with the one you love, but don't get married. It's fucking insane.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    "My question for any male considering it is simple: WHY" There must be some valid reason. Why did George Clooney just get married? He's like the world's biggest playa. There must be something.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    So why did you get married then jerkoffson? Or is your story going to be all over the place now and say you aren't?
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Spend years with one and the law will treat like you are married whether you like it or not, jerkoffson - you stupid fuck.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    I think most guys do it because the women want it, and the guy is so enamored with her that he is afraid to lose her so he gives in....and add to that a dash of white knight syndrome and i think you've got it
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Jerkoffson claims he is married one day so he can argue that guys who aren't are losers one day, then says there is no reason to get married another. Guy just like argue and whine and can't keep his story straight.
  • DandyDan
    •
    10 years ago
    I'm 41 and never been married and I don't see myself ever getting married. I mostly look for sex without emotional attachment. The trouble with most ladies is they want emotional attachment. That's the thing about my current fuck buddy. She was married and had her kids, but deep down, I don't think she was happy about it all and needed to let her inner slut out.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Dougster, I won't go back and look since I wouldn't want to be accused of "stalking ". But I do remember a thread a while back where jerikson said she was married even though she now says that she isn't.
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    I've been in love with and married to my wife for almost 25 years. I have also practiced divorce law for 32 years. I'd like to point out first that this is the worst place possible to ask about marriage because some of the comments are not only wrong, but incredibly stupid. First off the idea that men get screwed in divorce is not only 100% wrong, but reflects the issues of those who make the claim. Get a clue: women are on the verge of making more than men and the idea the man is "losing his money" simply shows that he's the one who fucked things up. Two: Fat men are just as ugly and gross as fat women. So tired of some 300 pound slob who couldn't find his dick with gps whining about his wife who put on 25 pounds. Third if 49% of marriages end in divorce who fucking stupid do you have to be to claim that all marriages inevitably fail. Doug don't cal others stupid because only 4 out of 50 states have common law marriage so you're the dope. From the outside it looks like marriage is failing as an institution, but it really isn't. Marriage rates for upper and upper middle class people are the same as they have always been. The stats are skewed by the fact poor and low income people no longer marry. Since throughout history marrieds have always been far better off financially its just another example of how the poor keep themselves poor. Take a snapshot of my core group in 1994 and one today and its the same exact group. I have no divorced relatives or friends. 32 years as a lawyer and I am the poorest. Of course I am taking a year off from work to golf, ski and play poker, but then again my wife is working her two jobs until 2017 when her next year off occurs. Just bought a new car too. Want to know the key to a happy marriage? Easy: if the woman you love was good enough to romance and seduce every day until you won her..why the fuck did you stop after getting married? I romance my wife every day and despite still having friends I see weekly from 45+ years ago, there is no one I'd rather hang out with. Yup, she knows I strip club and we swing and this weekend, after hiking in the amazing foliage, we'll have dinner, wine and swap with friends. Tickets to the Pats game Sunday night rounds out another weekend.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    "Doug don't cal others stupid because only 4 out of 50 states have common law marriage so you're the dope" I don't always agree with skibum, but when he's right he's right..,
  • GoVikings
    •
    10 years ago
    I think marriage will continue to remain in our culture. It's definitely not for everyone, but it can work and last if people are properly prepared for it. The reason many marriages fail is because many people don't truly know what they're in store for. It's important to: -Know it's the biggest commitment one can make in life - Be financially stable BEFORE marrying - Realize you have to cut down on the things you did before marrying for the sake of your partner Do these things, and the chances of your marriage lasting will increase greatly - Make sure you know the person
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Skibum, as usual you are very articulate in your defense of marriage. If I was married to a woman like the one you describe I would romance and seduce her every day too. But I'm not, because few women are anything like that. You describe a woman who 1. Supports or at least accepts your strip club habits, 2. Let's you have sex with other women, 3. Has a healthy libido despite probably being in her 40s or 50s, and 4. Works 2 jobs so you can take a year off from work. That may be your marriage, but very few guys will ever find that kind of a woman. Given the way that most women actually are, which is very different from what you describe, marriage is nothing like the nirvana you make it out to be most of the time.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    How about the guys that are lifelong bachelors then get married at 50 and have kids – man that’s rough IMHO
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I do have some relatives who are happily married. Both individuals tend to be high income earners and they became friends before they got married. I think of marriage as a merger between partners and a business arrangement. If one side isn't bringing much to the deal, well then I could imagine any divorce not going well for one side. If a very rich and very pretty lady wanted to marry me, I would still want to hold off until I knew things looked good even though if I got half of several million, that would screw her over based on what we both started with. I guess the common assumption above is the guy has a whole lot more assets than the girl.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    Skibum, with all due respect, listening to a guy whose income for the last 32 years is dependent upon failed marriages isn't really a good way to judge whether it is a viable and valuable option for the average guy. You want guys to get married, and you want them to fail, or else you have no income. It's great you have a good marriage. But to say "I have a good marriage, therefore I recommend the world gets married" is fucking insane. And for some reason you think FAULT is pertinent to the discussion. It's irrelevant. Apparently you're convinced that men always cause divorce. Fine. What the fuck difference does that make? If you're gonna change men to be perfect husbands, then great. It ain't gonna happen. Men will be men, and women will be women, and no matter who causes it, it's highly likely any marriage will fail. The odds suck. And to imply that men, who are historically the wage earners, don't get fucked, thru no fault of their own, in a divorce is beyond lunacy. Where do you come up with this shit? I gave clear examples of how men get fucked. We can come up with many more. The fact is that it is rare for both husband and wife to be willing and able and skilled in making a marriage successful, and as a result it's highly likely it will fail. And if a guy like you has been the wage earner for 32 years, and you get a divorce tomorrow, how many years do you have to pay alimony and child support, who gets the house and the car, and on and on. You worked for it, but you lose it. Is that your fault? Geez dude you can't be serious.
  • PhantomGeek
    •
    10 years ago
    Papi, I seem to remember Tony Randall fathering his first (and I think only) child when he was 75. Shark, didn't the institution of marriage start off as business and political ventures? The union of a man and a woman was actually the union of two kingdoms and the like?
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    skibum: "Get a clue: women are on the verge of making more than men" Where's this? Scandinavia?
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    There also seem to be a couple of confusion about correlation in causation in this thread. The fact that married men have longer lives than single men does not necessarily mean it is good for all men to marry if they want to live longer. It's possible that marriage leads to longer life, but it's also possible that the factors that cause men to live longer in the first place also cause them to desire and/or be the most desirable for marriage. An example of this would be women have a preference to marry men with a genetic propensity to be healthy versus unhealthy, but that genetic propensity would not change whether the man got married or not. There is also a similar problem in skibum's statement about the poor doing things to remain poor by not marrying. It is possible that this interpretation is correct, but it is also possible that the factors that cause people to be poor are not going to change for most whether they get married or not. Again, I'm not saying that is the case, just that it's all speculation one way or the another, unless someone can cite some statistical evidence across control groups otherwise.
  • minnow
    •
    10 years ago
    Every time this question gets asked, I recall a quote from a coworker who'd already been married 2 decades when he said it: "Marriage is a good institution if you want to be institutionalized."
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    I hate discussions about marriage because it's one of the few places where I'm forced to agree with jerikson. Let's switch to whether a vagina is attractive, so things can get back to normal.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    @JohnSmith: yeah, this isn't one of those subjects for me, but I also hate the 25% of the time that jerkoffson actually has a point so you can't argue against him. Fortunately, him saying something stupid after that is never too far away.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    @Dougster: "Spend years with one and the law will treat like you are married whether you like it or not" Not so much any more. For instance, in Kentucky, Common Law marriages were disallowed a few years ago. I don't think marriage is going anywhere, though I believe what we currently think of as marriage will only be a subset of what future generations call it. It's far too useful as a way to pool resources and rear children effectively to ever go away. Short of a major cultural upheaval everywhere on the planet, that is.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Ah yes, I was wrong on that one. Had a friend who was caught in a common law situation so assumed it was universal. Thanks for the fact check guys!
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    P1: Women want security, and P2: marriage is their chance at security. P3: They benefit from a binding legal contract. You don't. Therefore: Marriage is designed for women, not men. I thought for a while the dude made sense, but then... LOL
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    "I thought for a while the dude made sense, but then..." Ummm...is there a point there? Because it sure as hell makes a lot of sense to me. Or are you just doing the standard TUSCL response where you just imply that someone you disagree with is wrong without providing any real information or argument? yeah, that's it.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    "Therefore: Marriage is designed for women, not men." Um, no. Historically, in Western society, marriage has more often been about wealth consolidation and political and religious alliances, with women used as nothing more than pawns. That's been changing *somewhat* in America and some other Western countries, for the last century or two, but in many places, it's still an economic and political alliance vehicle for the benefit of men.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    jerkoffson: "Or are you just doing the standard TUSCL response where you just imply that someone you disagree with is wrong without providing any real information or argument? yeah, that's it." Lol!
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Sometimes jerkoffson does have a legitimate point.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Ummm...is there a point there? " Lemme tell you how your conclusion works. The truth in your conclusion here: 1) Bras, panties, lingerie - I like that. 2) Condoms - I hate that. 3) What else ummm, there's actually no relation to marriage.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    Traditionally prostitution has been a second career for women. But as we are seeing, for more and more, in the SC environment, it has become a first career. I think they see that they will only be young once, and the chance of getting a good marriage is getting less and less. So instead they want that nest egg. But this does not mean that they are now made of iron. It is just that the way their lives are organized is different. SJG
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