Today's joke

8/18/2014 9:34:04 AM

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with queenly large breasts.
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason.
He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor.
Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 100 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that, among all of the citizens of the kingdom, only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers.
Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next two hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and was hailed by both the King and Queen as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 100 gold coins.
With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear.
The King immediately summoned Nick .

The moral of the story -
Pay your bills.

13 comments

Latest

mikeya02

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10 years ago

good one!

mikeya02

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10 years ago

Variation of a joke:

A cowboy was captured by Indians. The chief told him to choose either hanging or snu-snu. "What's snu-snu"? said the cowboy. The chief clapped his hands and a beautiful squaw bent over and was ass raped by a large warrior. "I'll take snu-snu!" said the cowboy. The chief clapped his hands twice and 10 large naked warriors surrounded the cowboy. "So be it" said the chief, "Death by snu-snu!"

BigTuna1

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10 years ago

Lmfao

crazyjoe

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10 years ago

Great jokes. I needed a good laugh

TxVegas

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10 years ago

I laughed out loud even though I saw it coming. I like the moral of the story.

motorhead

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10 years ago

LOL

SlickSpic

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10 years ago

Magnifico

JohnSmith69

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10 years ago

Very funny.

skibum609

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10 years ago

One day Jesus is strolling through heaven when he comes across Saint Peter at the pearly gates who waives him over and says: " Jesus I have to use the men's room will you watch the gate for me"? Jesus doesn't want to and says: " I don't know how to do your job, what if something happens"? Saint Peter responds: "its easy. I'll be back in a minute, but all you have to do is ask their name and if they are on the list check em off and let em in and if they aren't, send them downstairs". In response to Jesus asking what if they don't know their name, Saint Peter says: " well you're a smart guy. Ask them some questions and figure out their name and then go through the routine" Jesus agrees and the first three people are no problem. He asks their name. They tell him. They're on the list so he checks them off and lets them in. The last person is a very, very old man and when asked his name he says he is so old he can no longer remember it. Remembering what Saint Peter said Jesus asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says: " I recall very little, but I do recall that I was a carpenter and that long ago I had a son and my son was a very good man, a very special man. He saved many people and was renowned for his heart. When I think of him though I think mainly of wood and that is all I know. Realizing who this man is Jesus leaps from his chair and exclaims "Father"! The old man responds with love and yells" Pinocchio"!

Clubber

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10 years ago

juice

zipman68

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10 years ago

^^^
@clubber - is that a request for Juice to tell a joke or a statement that Juice is a joke?

Clubber

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10 years ago

zip,

Now what you you think? :)