Something new for me

There is always a next time. BTW, I never dress "up", but when I dress "down" (biker attire), I tend to get more attention, at least from the wilder dancers.

@occurious - Don't worry, in a few more years you'll have reached the age when giving up isn't who you are, the age where you don't back down from a challenge, where you've learned a thing or two.

This is the age of knowing what you're made of, the age where you don't get thrown by curveballs, the age of knowing how to make things happen.

Does anyone every really go to a club "just to watch the stage" yet have cash with them, and not end up buying dances from someone? I know I always spend whatever I bring!

Not sure why this would be so surprising. Having problems getting the girl you most want is not uncommon. I would suggest that you make your intentions clearer and not just assume that she knows what you offer just because you give her a good stage tip. Sometimes you have to be aggressive to get your favorite. She can't read your mind, and she has no idea how much money you have. Some guys just do stage tips and can't afford more. When you tip her say something like "I have hundreds of dollars in my pocket and I'd love to spend that money getting dances from you." No guarantees but I find this works a lot better than just salivating over her and throwing money to her on stage. Also this doesn't obligate you to do anything. If her lap dances suck just quit after a couple and make some lame excuse. If she's good keep your promise and spend that money on her.

i thought the tips at the stage is an indication of how much money you have and are willing to spend, if any.

Dancers – well women in general – can be finicky.

My1st thought is that she had just finished w/ a PL and was not ready or desiring to get close and personal w/ another one right away – i.e. she needed a breather.

Then you mentioned the two other older guys – maybe she has her regulars and that’s enough for her? Or maybe; based on her looks; she can be choosy and the older guys are often the most desired ones (at least by the dancers with business sense).

My first thought -- does the club or the dancers have an [informal] rule about sitting with or taking custies away from the tip rail?

2nd thought -- wow, a lot of 'mind-reading' going on. 'It's how I'm dressed, not attracted to me, not ready for VIP, only likes older [$$$] men, etc.' PL downer BS.

When she thanked you profusely, tell her that you tipped her well not only for her stage performance but because you find her quite attractive and would like to spend time with her in VIP. 'Are you available now?' If she says 'let's go', do it and check her VIP action as others have suggested.

If she raises issue of you just being a 'watcher and stage tipper' tell her you came here tonight to check out the dancers on stage but are very ready for a VIP with the RIGHT lady.

What if she says 'love to' but have a regular to see first, or some other excuse. Say you're sorry to hear that but you have to leave before she'd be available and ask her for her schedule. Make sure you convey enthusiasm about returning soon to do VIP with her. Otherwise, she may think you don't really mean to return but are just doing some face-saving.

If she just says NO with no explanation, move on. Yea, it's a temporary ego blow but at least you won't leave obsessing and second guessing as you are now.

Joker I agree this is "PL downer BS." It's the PL version of SS. Be aggressive and go after what you want, but if it fails just move on. There will be another one just as hot on an upcoming visit.

Chessmaster. Logic would indicate that large stage tipping indicates interest in more. However I have repeatedly found that many dancers don't think that way. I've asked many girls who I've gotten through other means why they didn't come over when I tipped them big on stage and they say they didn't realize that I was so interested. Women like communication, and this may be the only setting where I'm a good communicator with women. Tell them what you want and what you've got for them in exchange. It has increased my batting average significantly.

^JohnSmith69

I've seen many 'big stage tipper but no VIP' guys at area clubs. Dancers with a lot of experience with these guys may believe that's the norm and unless they're desperate for $$ that nite, won't assume you want VIP unless you say so.

The not approaching/asking a dancer for dances/VIP etc is sometimes not a matter of being or not being aggressive.

As for me personally – I rather have a dancer approach me b/c it makes me feel she wants the biz and will hopefully provide good service – if I have to approach her then it makes me wonder if she has the desire to do it and may thus give me an uninspired performance.

I agree that dancers can be finicky. You walk in there and you have no idea what is going on with them, like who else they know who is there, or what else is influencing their lives.

But beyond that what I would say is that your best tool for interacting with them is not you wallet, it is simply by talking to them.

Sure, they are there to make money. But this does not mean necessarily that they are impressed by people who throw money at them senselessly. They respect the fact that a guy has money. But they also expect a man to use it wisely and not be someone who can too easily be separated from it.

So tipping a dancer who you are getting along with and interacting with is good. But with one you have no rapport with, I would say the tipping should be kept light. If other people are putting out $1, then you do the same. Give her the chance to interact with you. Look for the opportunity to talk to her, like when she comes around to collect her tips.

Eventually there may be ways to get her to interact with you more when she is on stage. If you stay in the club a while and are showing her preferential attention, it is likely that she will respond. These girls are competitive, and it is not just about money, it is about attention.

If you have warmed her up some and found ways to be talking with her, I am sure she will be happy to offer what ever is done there in the way of dancers or "mileage".

Sometimes you just will not be able to engage with a particular girl on a given day. Her head may be elsewhere, or she may just be busy with other people. So try to get her name from when the DJ announces her and see if they publish the schedule, and then come back.

SJG