Here's a story most can't match: my ATF has been a heroin addict for at least ten years. She's usually on and off methadone but says she really hates it. She gets dosed early in the morning and is lethargic by 9:00 pm, her peak earning hours. So she decided she's gonna clean up her act and get off everything. She began decreasing methadone a month ago and last week stopped all methadone therapy. Of course she then started shooting a heroin/ fentenal combo ( about 3 to 4 grams daily. She began applying for admission to a detox facility and found no beds available. Yesterday she called me early asking if I'd drive her to detox. I got to her apartment about 11:00, took her shopping for necessities (shampoo, conditioner, make up, etc.) then back to her apartment for a little nookie, then an hour & 1/2 drive. Just got on the highway and she took two tampons apart and shoved 3 cigarettes in each easy glide dispenser (it's a non-smoking facility. She then put an old flip phone in a Baggie, slipped her pants down to her ankles and stuffed the phone up her pussy. The truck driver beside us was shitting his pants watching, but she's an exhibitionist and loved it. She flashed her tits at him, too. I asked if she wanted me to stop and shove the phone charger up her ass, but she declined. We got her to detox, said goodbye and I came home.
Today, I was driving my wife who has dementia, and she reached in the door pocket, brought out two tampons and asked, "What are these?" I said a friend I played golf with had nosebleeds and must have left the packing there. I took them and threw them away. Then she found the top of the Kotex box and fortunately can't read. I said its just rubbish, don't worry about it.
I also was given my ATF's purse to hang onto for a month and that's in the trunk of my car. I checked its contents this morning and discovered one used syringe, two crack pipes and a bundle of Choy. Must remember to discard before some drug sniffing dog hits on my car. Can anyone match that story?
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last commentGawker I'm not sure anyone can truthfully match your stories. Unless LMN is for real, I'm pretty sure no one can come close!
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Just don't tell RickyBoy about it. His "system" makes a point of targeting drug addicts.
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The world is a Vampire.
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Great Googily Moogily.
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@Gawker-If she had the phone on vibrate, I'd call her and hive her the best phone sex of her life.
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@gawker - is it true Scorsese optioned the film rights?
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"Can anyone match that story?"
No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express
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@Moto-Haha.
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Wow! She is a trip! Make that a multiple trips and that's before noon!
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Scorsese? This is material for Benny Hill (yeah, I know he's dead) or the National Lampoon Vacation Series!
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Wow.
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your devotion to your CF is commendable. Though she can't hold herself together you still go on and support her.
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“Scorsese? This is material for Benny Hill (yeah, I know he's dead) or the National Lampoon Vacation Series!â€â€
or for my close personal friend - oprah “the truth is boring†winfrey
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Gawker, I had some wild experiences with my xATF, but not as wild as yours.
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You're a crazy mofo gawker-dude. But a good soul for taking care of your wife. I'm sure it's difficult and that is why you pull your crazy antics. Keep on keepin' on and keep outta jail my brother!
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