Reviews -- Shorter the Better?
dennyspade
Illinois
I just read a review of a club (Kenny Mays in Hammond, IN) by our own bestoftmz. It told me all that I needed to know in just two lines:
"If you are out walking your dog, you may want to stop by here. They just might offer your dog a job. It's that bad. Management is rude, girls don't seem to care whether they make a buck or not. Forget it."
I've been there and couldn't agree more.
Can anybody top that?
"If you are out walking your dog, you may want to stop by here. They just might offer your dog a job. It's that bad. Management is rude, girls don't seem to care whether they make a buck or not. Forget it."
I've been there and couldn't agree more.
Can anybody top that?
22 comments
Case in point is my current club, Gentlemen's God Club in Baltimore. They keep moving upscale and are chasing people like me out the door with their outrageous prices. That might make some sense except that they're located in an area where there aren't enough upscale customers around to make it work. I think it's a really dumb strategy for them. But if you're a high roller from out of town looking to blow some big bucks on a really attractive dancer, you'll love this place because it's as fancy, classy and plush as any club in the country. But if you're an average Joe looking to have a couple beers and enjoy some friendly laps without having to take out a second mortgage, you'll think this place sucks. I've tried to reflect both sides of that coin in my reviews of GGC.
But most importantly, a review should be informative and easy to read. "I thought this place sucked, so my buds and I split after a half hour" doesn't help me at all. (And neither do reviews that are just a bunch of lines filled with spelling errors that have no punctuation or paragraphs. I just skip over those.) That two-line review doesn't explain enough, but I still like it because that bit about them giving your dog a job is funny.
I don't know who owns the Baltimore Block. In Chicago, during the rolling 80's, the Mafia interests controlled the clubs near the O'hare airport, Rush Street area and the outlying suburbs. It was customaery for a waitress or bartender to ask if "you wanna buy the lady a drink?" In 1980 $$, these could range from $12 to $20 for a little lap sitting, leg rubbin' and upgrade-selling to a "back room or private quarters." Therein you would be ambushed by a waitress to buy a bottle of Champagne, while the "dancer" began a light caress of the trouser snake. Then they would try to get you to include her girlfriend and do a double. Of course, they wanted to put all of these charges on your credit card, since you were obviously drunk to say yes to any of these shenanigans. Any opposition stopped the entire charade and you still owed some exorbitant $$ and would have found no relief.
If any of this sounds familiar to you guys in other areas of the country, you now know why Chicago became a Wasteland for Adult Entertainment until a few years ago.
BTW, I actually left out a few pertinent facts in my review of Sherries to keep it from getting too long. For example, the bartender was sort of a jerk and not very friendly. He obviously thought that when I paid him for the $70 private "dance" he was entitled to a tip on top of that. I didn't agree since he was acting in his capacity as the manager and I don't tip managers. But as a result he cut our time a little short, which didn't bother me at all because I was more than ready to leave by that point. But have you ever noticed that places that are run by annoying and unfriendly bartenders seem to also have a lot of unattractive dancers? I wonder which comes first? And yet the attractive young girl I was with said that she really liked the club and did well there. Go figure.
For example, I have been to Olympic Gardens in Vegas when the talent was extremely thin on a weekday afternoon. But in a few hours there were numerous dancers that could have emptied my wallet.
Shadowcat, haven't you ever had a great time in a shithole? I have. One example - I once checked out a place in the middle of nowere that had only one review and it was bad, but it was the only place around so off I went. The place was as bad as advertised. There were only 2 dancers and I was the only customer. One of the dancers was really fat. But the other one was absolutely gorgeous and turned out to be really friendly too. Plus she gave really hot LD's. I had a great time and was glad I went. I've also been to some highly rated clubs that I thought really sucked, including the one that's currently rated #1 in the US. That place has a ton of reviews (mostly phoney in my opinion) but they're all short and don't tell you anything about the place other than that it has high contact.
A short review to a local club ( when their are dozens of options) helps to narrow your choices when you're in the mood to explore. Of course, you should read the other reviews from those who may be more expansive in their prose; however, a bad club with bad management and an awful selection of dancers may not justify the additional descriptions.
I agree with the majority of you, that a good description of a club's decor, talent, drink options and quality of service is quite helpful when you are travelling to an unfamiliar area. When the club is minutes or moments away, you sense that the reviewer has helped you when he nips your curiousity in the bud.