OT: NBA Playoff Predictions (Tongue In Cheek Stripclub Index)

Chicago all the way

Globetrotters.

Hey, Slick, have you been to any good stripclubs in Harlem? How many?

Not an expert on the NBA this year, but based on the respective city's club quality:

Round 1 - Indiana def Atlanta (ATL clubs overrated, Indy high end clubs are a good value) Washington def Chicago (only if Balt is included) Miami def Charlotte (never been to a club in Charlotte) Toronto def Brooklyn (Brooklyn clubs sound scary) Dallas def San Antonio (never been to SA clubs) Portland def Houston (PDX has a riddiculous # of clubs) Memphis def OKC (OKC has clubs worth going to?) LA def Golden State (SoCal beats NorCal in looks)

Round 2 - Ind def Was (Traffic on the beltway to Baltimore can suck!) Tor def Mia (a close one, but Toronto wins due to proximity of clubs) PDX def Dal (wins on sheer quanTITy) LA def Memphis (LA quality hard to beat)

Round 3 - Tor def Ind (quality/mileage over value) LA def PDX (actresses/models over hipsters)

Finals - LA def Toronto

Go Clippers...

Pred,

I think SS has a better chance with his pick then you do with yours. :)

My take

Round 1: Atlanta beats Indianapolis. Indy has Brad's, but Follies and Cheetah puts Atlanta over the top. Miami beats Charlotte. Miami has Tootsie's Cabaret and Scarlett's Cabaret. Charlotte has.....? Toronto beats Brooklyn. Toronto is widely known as one of the best strip club cities in the world. Chicago beats Washington. Both cities are terrible for strip clubs, but in DC the dancers aren't allowed to give you lapdances. WTF? Dallas beats San Antonio. Baby Dolls is all you need to know. Memphis beats Oklahoma City. Memphis isn't great strip club city, but it's gotta be better than Oklahoma. Los Angeles defeats Golden State. LA has clubs like 4 Play, Bare Elegance, Plan B. San Francisco has Mitchell's, but Mitchell's is way overpriced. Portland beats Houston. A few years ago Houston would win, but with the drastic decline in the Houston clubs, and the sheer quantity of Portland clubs, Portland wins.

Round 2: Atlanta defeats Chicago. Atlanta wins in a blowout. Miami defeats Toronto. This was a tough one, both are great strip club cities. A great argument can be made for Toronto, but Miami has two of the top 20 rated clubs on TUSCL, so I went with Miami. Dallas defeats Portland. Baby Dolls is all I got to say. Los Angeles defeats Memphis. This one is a blowout.

Round 3: Miami defeats Atlanta. This was a tough one. Both of them have top rated strip clubs. I gave Miami the edge because I think overall you will get more mileage in Miami than in Atlanta. Los Angeles defeats Dallas. Dallas puts up a good fight, but it is just overmatched by LA.

Championship: Miami defeats Los Angeles. This series is going to 7 games, but Miami will squeak out a game 7 victory.

Ladies and gentlemen, Miami will win their third straight title!

Good posts, PD and r-kam. My rationale as follows, East first:

ATL vs IND: Nude w. alcohol vs topless w. alcohol. Atlanta has more clubs, and 2 in the T100 overall (though in past years, Indy has had 2 or 3 of its club in T100). Indy has slid a bit in last 2 yrs, with Brads no longer holding value edge. Long distance help from HH-Kokomo not enough to overcome Atlantas advantage in improving mileage plus a top eye candy club in Cheetahs. >> ATL in 6

CLT vs MIA- No contest as Miami has Tootsies, plus a bunch of long distance help from Lauderdale, West Palm, etc. Charlotte has, what, a good eye candy low/no contact club or 2. Look for Heat to sink a bunch of treys and sweep the series.

BRK vs TOR- Ok, Big Apple has a bunch of clubs with 3 in T100, and some long distance help from NJ clubs. In all fairness, Toronto probably wasn't even factored into T100 list since its in Canada, and not exactly right across from border. With indications that Toronto has several solid clubs that are more PL friendly than NYC clubs, I'm giving the edge to Toronto in 7 games.

WAS vs CHI- Both cities are acknowledged to be stripclub Siberias. However, Washington getting some long distance help from Baltimore gives it the Wizards sinking more treys the edge in 7.

...Cont'd>>> WEST

DAL vs SAT: Dallas has big edge in quantity and quality (aka- PL appeal). Baby Dolls, and 2 other clubs made T100. It is only San Antonio having a bright spot or 2 (1 club made T100, S.A. IS home to the Alamo and awesome Riverwalk section of bars and eateries) prevents a Mavs sweep- Mavs in 5.

MEM vs OKC- Memphis has slid a bit from its glory years, but OKC never really had one (in stripclubs, anyway)- Grizzlies in 5 because Elvis just might spook Memphis once.

GSW vs LAC- I think Clippers might be closer to COI than Lakers are- in complete agreement with prior posters on merits of LA vs SF. Clippers in 6.

PDX vs HOU- Both cities have a lot of stripclubs. Portland does have 4 in T100 vs 2 for Houston. IMHO, T100 list has become more flawed over the years- maybe the minimum number of reviews should be increased. Looking further under the hood, a lot of Portland clubs are mom and pop taverns. I've spent 2 hours in both cities clubs. In 3 different Houston clubs, I didn't see the same dancer on stage more than once- in Portland, saw at least 3 complete stage rotations. Bottom line, I'd go out of my way to visit 1 - 3 Houston clubs, Portland is down a ways on my wish list. Rockets in 5!

I'll make more progs as the subsequent playoff rounds develop. Happy clubbing, all.

I've only visited clubs in 5 of the cites, but of those 5, it is Miami all the way followed by Atlanta, San Antonio, Dallas, and Charlotte.

Didn't do so hot in 1st round- 3/8, though in 1 of wrong predictions, I guessed the number of games (IND vs ATL) that it would take to win. Correctly predicted a Miami sweep. .375 Average.

Putting the past behind, and moving on to 2nd Round: (Again, these predictions have nothing to do with actual teams strengths- I'm basing it on respective stripclub city strengths. I'll provide rationale in future post.

INDIANA vs WASHINGTON: PACERS in 5 MIAMI vs BROOKLYN:>>>> HEAT in 5 SAN ANTONIO v PORTLAND:BLAZERS in 7 OKLAHOMA CITY v L.A.:> CLIPPERS in 5

minnow,

Picks seem pretty solid.

I did a little better in 2nd round- 2/4 on predictions, .500 average.

Predictions for 3rd round as follows:

INDIANA vs MIAMI: HEAT in 6 SAN ANTONIO vs OKC: SPURS in 6.

Ever since last year, all the pacer talked about was getting the home court. THAT would have made them champs last season, they seemed to think.

Well they took all this season to get to that point. And just think, last evening, it all was for naught!

Three years in a row, Indy bites the dust at the hands of the Heat. Last evening, after some of the BS from the Indy Aholes, I wish the Heat had kept pouring it on and beat them by 50+!

Lebron has some long distance help from his Akron clubs. $5 high mileage lappers from his hometown

Finally aced it- Batted 1.000 and picked the number of games it took to boot. Now for my Final Predictions and Rationale-

MIAMI vs SAN ANTONIO: HEAT IN 5

Miami has Tootsies plus a slew of nude clubs that serve alcohol. Plus Miami gets a slew of long distance help from Fort Lauderdale, Pompano Beach, West Palm beach nude/alcohol clubs, several which are, or have been in T10 Tuscl list.

San Antonio has (how many fingers can you hold up).. how many clubs ? How many nude clubs ? Long distance help from Austin ? Several Austinites are probably Dallas Mav fans. Austin has had 3-4 of its clubs in T10, which is the only thing that keeps me from predicting a Miami sweep.

I'll take it!

Well, I guessed the number of games correctly, but picked the wrong team. What can i say- congrats to the new world champions, the San Antonio Spurs.

In the meantime, lets hope the San Antonio stripclubs become more attractive for mongers over the next year.

Heat split in San Antonio, all looks good. Then some other team disguised as the Heat come out and embarrass themselves the next three game. Sad!