i was thnking about this recently at a club. I always seem to leave a club disappointed. No matter how it goes, I aways leave wishing something more would have happened. So I asked myself, "What would the perfect strip club experience be?" So, here goes. Now, keep in mind I'm going to try and be descriptive rather than imaginative. And hopefully you'll work off past experiences rather than just write a Cinderella story:
The club would have secure parking with cameras…so I don't gotta worry about explaining to the wife why I took a cab home from wherever I said I was going to be (but wasn't). The cover charge would be small, say $5.
Full service bar and affordable prices, like a neighborhood bar. Specials on drinks that are actually SPECIALS…like $2.00 bottles of beer, $1 shots, etc.. Shooter girls would have shooters, jello shots, and pot brownies for sale, also at reasonable prices.
The club would be multi-level and every seat not at the stage would be nice, spacious, cushy booths. Like those circular booths you see in movies where they are at a Vegas show. Lighting dark, but with lava lamps and other lamps that provide a fair amount of light. Lap dance area would be in a private area with even more comfy booths. VIP area would rooms like at Hong Kong where it's almost a "suite" with 1-way glass so they can get it on and still watch the show.
You're allowed to lay on the stage to have the stripper take the money from your mouth (they do this in some of the Canadian clubs I've been to. Strippers actually use the pole rather than just roll around spreading their p-lips with their fingers. And the dancer music is all 80s and hard rock rather than wall-to-wall hip hop.
The girls are all 21 with killer thin bodies and A-C cups.
I connect with a gal, she spends the whole night talking to me…I buy her drinks and every so often lap dances…which are like 3 for $30. As she gets drunker, the dances get more "frisky". After awhile my shirt and pants are fully unbuttoned and dances progress from good grind to HJ, to BJ/Full sex. But this isn't in a VIP booth or anything and the club frowns upon it….but she makes me feel like she just wants it….from ME!! The whole, "I never do this during a lap dance but am making an exception" sort of thing.
End of the night, she asks if I wanna go home with her to finish what we've started. No charge, not an escort/prostitute, and again claims I'm the first guy she's ever left the club with. We start a relationship, etc…
See, that combines my two most sought after items in a strip club experience:
- Actual sex.
- Sex with a girl after the club closes/her shift is over. (#2 has never happened by the way)
It would be called" I split the atom while you split the watermelon"