Strippers say the darndest things

avatar for VeryBigDawg
VeryBigDawg
Stripper: I want to get a shark.
Me: What? (thinking I misunderstood with the loud music).
Stripper: I want to get a pet shark.
Me: Why don't you get a cat? (thinking the cat would be smart enough to move out when she forget to feed it).

After a couple of high quality dances, we got to discuss in more detail. This girl had done her research. The pet shark would cost $2k and the tank would cost $3k. Not to mention the maintenance and expensive live salt water fish to feed it. I asked if it was legal to own in GA and she assured me it was. WTF?

OK, have heard some weird shit from strippers, but this has to be in the top 10. What have you heard from them to make you scratch your head?

Comments

last comment
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
Those numbers sound pretty low. Must be a very small shark.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
South Carolina
11 years ago
Will you support me when I quit?Wait,was that the 5:15?
avatar for gawker
gawker
Older than dirt
11 years ago
"Would you like a hit oh heroin? I've got clean needles."
"Can you send me to Hawaii for drug rehab?"
"Will you drive 100 miles, pick me up and drive 75 miles to drop me off at a hotel so I can meet another customer, then come pick me up after 2 hours & drive me home?"
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
11 years ago
Isn't that what Art Linkletter said? Oh wait. No. That was kids. :)
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
South Carolina
11 years ago
They are entitled Gawker.
avatar for jester214
jester214
North Carolina
11 years ago
Sounds more reasonable than the one that told me she wanted to buy a boat after having already told me her car got repoed.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
Wakanda
11 years ago
Gawker- if it wasn't a stripper I wouldn't believe that third one. But I could see a stripper asking that nonsense.
avatar for VeryBigDawg
VeryBigDawg
Georgia
11 years ago
Dougster those prices seemed low to me too, but was amazed that she was quoting them as if she did the research.

"Will you drive 100 miles, pick me up and drive 75 miles to ..." Did that bullshit once for a stripper but it was only a 30 mile drive. Did I get off cheap? lol.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
Detroit, Michigan
11 years ago
"The cell phone you bought for me just got stolen by my ex-boyfriend. Can you buy me another one?"
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
Colorado
11 years ago
Dam skippy
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
11 years ago
"I want to have my boobs re-done. Will you pay for it?"
This from a dancer whose big boobs I enjoyed but who was not giving me extras.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Damn, Jack. The nerve of that gal.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
Colorado
11 years ago
Dam skippy
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
Illinois
11 years ago
"We can't move in with my grandfather unless we get married first".
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
11 years ago
Dancer. "Let's go to Vegas. I want to go with you."
me, surprised I heard that, silence
Then, "Are you paying for the plane tickets?"
silence
I found out how to keep her quiet.
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