ATF Drama With Her GF
3LeggedMan
Chicago, IL
My CF, or overall 5th ATF, has recently posted on Facebook that she's been having repeated drama with her GF. What should my reaction be? 1) Keep perfectly quiet, 2) Offer support for whenever she needs it, or 3) Offer support and advice if the GF looks a bit like a player to me.
I kinda walked down aisle 3 and got my hand slapped. "I DO NOT want to talk about my love life". Message received. What do you all think? I've been meeting this girl OTC for a few months and have been feeling a little closer to her than when we were totally ITC. I value her friendship, but have to watch for those boundaries.
I kinda walked down aisle 3 and got my hand slapped. "I DO NOT want to talk about my love life". Message received. What do you all think? I've been meeting this girl OTC for a few months and have been feeling a little closer to her than when we were totally ITC. I value her friendship, but have to watch for those boundaries.
27 comments
If I read it correctly; the problem is b/w two female lovers – talk about drama and estrogen overload – no place for you to stick your nose in IMO.
Tread cautiously and I'd suggest be there to listen if she wants to vent, but don't bring it up or question her about it.
“… I have strong feelings for my ATF …â€
Having “feelings†for a dancer can be hazardous for your wallet and state of mind IMO.
You fave’s statement about not wanting to talk about her love life makes me think you are not part of her “love life†– she probably keeps you, her revenue stream, and her personal life, separate. She probably sees you as her revenue stream; not as someone she wants to get personally involved with – so you may not want to get personally involved with someone whom does not want to get involved with you.
Many of these dancers have issues that most likely you will not be able to resolve – getting involved in her personal life/issues will most likely mean they may become your issues.
At the end of the day; you can likely end up lighter in the wallet and having been taken for an emotional rollercoaster ride – i.e. if you get involved in her biz/personal-life; often times many of a dancer’s personal problems are financial; and guess who she will turn to with her financial issues; yes “Mr. Helperâ€.
It’s her life and she is going to live it her way.
You have mentioned b4 about a fave whom I think is black and lives in a housing project; and then on top of this she is a lesbian also? – if I got the person correct. I don’t know your bio; but if you are not black; live or have lived in housing projects; and know about lesbian relationships; I don’t think you know what you may be in for.
But this is just my *opinion* - I actually got involved with a dancer about 10 years ago trying to be “Mr. Helper†and it was a fiasco. This was way b4 my TUSCL education and I was younger then.
Also – most of the accounts that have been posted on TUSCL over the years of involvements with dancers seemed to not have ended well in particular those dealing w/ dancers’ issues.
I'm stating what many here would consider the obvious, but since you have developed "strong feelings" for her, I suspect that you might be getting a little too caught up in her. As should be clear from her response, she does not reciprocate.
During most of my clubbing years, I have been lucky in a weird sense as I have (1) been something of a club gypsy; and (2) almost never been without a serious SO. These factors have really helped to keep me grounded, but even so I've had periods of time with certain exceptional girls where I felt drawn to their plights. I can only imagine how much more I might have been sucked into their worlds had those factors not been at play.
This may be a wake-up call for you 3legged. Maybe it's time to spread it out a bit? In any event, good luck.
I NEVER post anything on my dancer's FB pages that has anything to do with anything personal. They aren't 'dancer' pages; they are mom, sister, daughter, friends pages if you get my drift. It would be inappropriate for me to get involved in their personal lives beyond a 'casual friend' who swaps jokes or offers compliments.
Run. Trust me on this one.