Homosexuality

SlickSpic
It's time for me to take a certain member of this to board to school. You know who you are. It's time for you to grow thicker skin. It's time for you to understand the realities of homosexuality.

About 10 years ago, a younger cousin of mine who was in high school came out of the closet to me. I was the first family member he ever confessed his true sexuality to. I know why he chose me. I'm a misfit, a trouble maker, a law breaker, and someone who marches to the beat of his own drummer. My cousin coming out changed not just his life but mine.

I was brought up in a very Catholic, very machismo oriented family. Homosexuality was taboo. Now, here is my cousin baring his soul to me. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He needs more than tolerance. He needs acceptance. Would I be able to do that? Yes, I could.

Was it easy? No. Did I not have second thoughts? Yes, I did. But my cousin needed me. I was there for him. I learned a lot about myself because of him. I went beyond merely tolerating something that I was brought up to hate to accepting him, his lifestyle, and his boyfriend.

Not too long after he came out of the closet, I got a promotion but it was in the Hollywood area. If you're not from California then you might not know the difference between San Bernardino and Hollywood but my Cali peeps and ex-pats know.

I spent a year and a half working in homosexual households. Once again, this experience taught me a lot about myself. I also learned that when homosexuals move into shitty neighborhoods, they make them better. Property values increase. The aesthetic of the neighborhood increases. Places like Echo Park, Silverlake, and Los Feliz become hip and happening places to stay at.

I also spent many Saturdays working in Palm Springs(another well known homosexual haven). I've had more conversations, been in closer proximity, and have been in more homosexual homes than most non-homosexuals ever have been.

I don't have shit to prove to you, Alucard. If you wanna get mad at me, so be it. While you were getting your pretty, pink panties in a bunch over one F-Bomb on Sunday morning, my homosexual cousin and his boyfriend were helping me clean up my place after Saturday nights dinner party. Oh yeah, I told my cousin that he washes dishes like a fag. His reply-Do you still need a booster seat to look over the steering wheel(I'm short). I laughed, I didn't whine.

26 comments

Latest

jackslash
11 years ago
Good for you, Slick.
rockstar666
11 years ago
Well written, and frankly much needed.

The Uptown area on the northside of Chicago used to be a bad area with cheap rent and I moved there shortly out of college. Then the gay community started moving in and crime went way down, more businesses opened and by the time I had the means to buy my house in the burbs, it had become a very upscale area.

Of course, this is a very minor point when talking about homophobia in general...but I will say as a segment of the population I'd rather be in a gay community than a misogynist working class heterosexual community.
tumblingdice
11 years ago
Alucard,can you kind of understand?Look buddy nobody on this board really hates you,but you leave yourself soooooooooo open for ball busting.And trust me I'm the nicest guy in the world,but when met with hypocrisy and one who can't explain his stance on things there's just something inside me that can't hold back.It's kind of like my Bill O'Rielly to your Rachael Maddow.Peace.
SuperDude
11 years ago
Gay is becoming mainstream, if it's not already. Fine. Society, the law and social attitudes are catching up to reality. Openly gay people are on their way to being accepted, without fanfare, in all walks of life, including the NFL.

If the reports are true that half of the military sexual assault victims are men, then who is attacking them? Is homosexual assault a problem in the U.S. military, but it is polictically incorrect to ask questions about it because it would cloud the abililty of gays to serve openly? Being gay does not entitle a person to some cloak of nobility and special status, rendering them protected from being questioned about criminal behavior, assaulting children or exploiting positions of supervisory authority. Gays, like staights, have and will engage in behavior that violates others rights to privacy, safety and job security.

Heterosexual men have long exploited supervisory authority to coerce sexual favors from women. Are we to pretend that gay men won't demand sexual favors from straight men in exchange for promotions in the military or the workplace?

Marriage equality is fine, but what happens to the children in the divorce. The law holds that child custody is determined by weighing the best interests of the child. There is no longer a presumption in the law that prefers a mother having custody, but it's in the heads of most judges. Now what. Two men divorce. Who gets custody of the children?

We are facing a whole new set of issues and problems without much debate.
sclvr5005
11 years ago
Not sure what exactly provoked this thread, but well said Slick. One of my lil bro's is gay ( and now a civil rights lawyer) and I have learned so much from him. Word.
Dougster
11 years ago
It might seem superficially paradoxical, but I think it's a testimony to level of tolerance in our society that, these days, straight guys often joke around and call each others "homos", "fags", or "gay" while at the same time being completely tolerant of homosexuality. Basically they can say it because (95%+) they know they aren't homophobic. The word isn't supposed to have any sting. I bet nearly all those guys who do joke around with it, would vote pro gay rights once inside the ballot booth.
looneylarry
11 years ago
A heart-felt post, Slick. The world has far too much hate, and no one needs to add to it.

Some of this homophobia has to do with a generalized fear that you will be hit upon, pursued, objectified, corn holed. If that makes you queasy or weak at the knees, drives you crazy, or creates a bubbling resentment--how do you think women feel? Do you think they like the construction worker cat calls, the groping in the elevator, the undressing with the eyes, the lecherous look and the stalking? Oh, it's okay when you are the predator and not the prey. Every gay guy doesn't want to come onto you, so get over yourself. Just the same as every civvie 10 doesn't want to fuck you in the alley. And just to be clear, because of this site: I am NOT talking about the SC, because that is theater, that is a fantasy that you are purchasing.

Everybody thinks that mainline religion condones discrimination against gays and lesbians because of some overarching concept of sin. And those who are the most self-righteous are the first to reach for the stone. But not so fast. If we spent just a little more time trying to find the lonely, the dispossessed, the forgotten, the weary, the hungry, the mentally ill, the people who are tired of just hanging on, maybe we can make the world a bit better. There is way too much suffering. And no, it's not because they all deserve it.

And about this lifestyle thing. If I want to live like a Rastafarian, that is my choice. If I want to live like a hermit in the woods, that's my choice. If I want to live like a callous, pompous bastard with my own talk radio show, that is my choice to live that way. But when did you make the conscious choice to live a heterosexual lifestyle? Was it something that just happened, as a core part of your being? So heterosexuals are born but homosexuals just choose it? I think a powerful argument is that if homosexuality was a choice, do you really think people would choose the layers of unremitting day-to-day shit they have to put up with?
jester214
11 years ago
Lol, Dugly is tolerant because he uses "faggot" as a pejorative. Just as delusional as Alucard.
alabegonz
11 years ago
This is like Donald Rumsfeld talking about ending war. Why would i pay attention. I live in a neighborhood where front yards are kept and on weekends they go on to be weekend warriors.

I really dont see the point of this uselessnessssss
tumblingdice
11 years ago
Gonzo,define "Uselessness."
Dougster
11 years ago
Jestie just can't handle when the world and people aren't as sucky as he wants them to be - truly the delusional one.
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
Um, I guess I missed Alucard's comments on this subject?
sclvr5005
11 years ago
@looneylarry- alsi very well said.

@alabegonz - wtf are you talking about?
skibum609
11 years ago
Ridiculous thread worthy of MSN or others of that ilk.
sclvr5005
11 years ago
^^^ you don't like it then don't read it and don't post here. Better yet just take your "ilk" and leave completely.
rockstar666
11 years ago
Skibum: There's a lot of off topic threads here. Why does this one compel you to post that you think it's ridiculous? If did that for every thread I thought was ridiculous I'd become a troll.

No, you don't think this thread is "ridiculous" at all. You find it angers you to even discuss the subject. You might want to either figure out why that is and deal with it, or pretend it doesn't anger you and just ignore posting here. The fact you DID post speaks volumes on how far we still need to go to live up to Christian ideals (and I'm a pagan, not a Christian).

ATACdawg
11 years ago
Even a lot of mainline churches are reexamining their stances on homosexuality. I'm not going to say that it's been easy! The Presbyterian, Methodist and Episcopal churches, among others, have made significant changes that will allow gay clergy. A number of their churches are attempting to leave the denominations. If it was simply an academic debate, I could easily defend either position. Of course, it is not an academic debate - it is about real people who I believe have been made gay by their genes. The next leap is to believe that God has created people to be sinners, clearly not something a merciful God would do. I think that people's perception of homosexuality as a terrible sin is due to their personal revulsion concerning the act. In reality, it is really just another manifestation of adultery, and frankly heterosexual adultery is a far bigger problem in the Church. And we haven't even touched on the other biggies like idolatry, theft, murder, lying and covetousness.

One of our denomination's adopted tenets says a person who lives a chaste life or is partnered in a married relationship with one other person can be ordained. I can live with that.
kingknight
11 years ago
Nice and eloquent post Slick.
ime
11 years ago
Some people will agree with this and some won't it's most likely generational. But calling someone a fag doesn't mean you're homophobic. It's just a word to and it's all about context. A lot of people will call their friends fags as just a common putdown not meaning anything sexual. Not saying it's right or wrong but it happens, and it's more about intent than the word.

Doug Stanhope has it right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pmat0Vay…
sclvr5005
11 years ago
@ime- I don't think that many gay people would agree with you, especially when it comes to kids calling something "gay" as a put down. Imagine that a term for a core aspect of who you were that you had no control over suddenly began being used in a derogatory way. Say that you were Italian and suddenly it was cool to put down someone by calling them Italian? I don't think that you'd like it very much.
ime
11 years ago
@sclvr5005 I understand what your saying.

Is it okay for gay people to call each other the word fag? I've seen it done in the same way by gay people, as it's done between straight people. Like I said the intent of how it's used is a big thing.

jester214
11 years ago
Ime you could use that justification for anything, including racial insults. When it's used as a pejorative there's a underlying suggestion that homosexuality is a negative. I also don't think you can compare casual insults between friends with personal attacks against people you don't know.
jester214
11 years ago
By "don't know" I meant know only through an internet forum.
Dougster
11 years ago
Bottom line is you see what you want to see jestie, as opposed to accurately, as a confirmation of bias to your view that the world is a sucky place full of sucky people. Now go run off somewhere and cry...
jester214
11 years ago
The classic Dugly nonsense insult when confronted with an uncomfortable truth. Next comes the alternate accounts that Dugly "doesn't have".
Dougster
11 years ago
^^^ spazzs out as usual proving my point. Too funny! :-)
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