How to have fun in a strip club, the new rules.

Yeah, God forbid that anybody would miss the irony of this thread.

just for newbies, the above is sarcasm, however it may give ideas to a couple here.

1. You're on vacation and a stripper you just met really seems to like you and gives you her phone number. You say you'll call her tommorrow at noon and your memory is so good that you can remember her number. (even though you are drinking) Remember it for a couple of hours so you can repeat it back when she keeps asking. Then don't call and return to the club the next day. When she says she waited by the phone for whatever time it was, just smile and say her incorrect phone number didn't work. Sure way to get a smile on her face.

1. (This works in a large club.) If a stripper on stage asks if you're interested in a dance while you are tipping her a dollar and you say yes or maybe and she asks where you are sitting at, go sit there and then move to the other side of the club before she finishes her set. When she finds you an hour or two later and she tells you that she thought you left, tell her you were sitting over here the whole time but you're not interested anymore. A good way to make her feel good.

Who is getting strippers to spend time with him OUTSIDE THE CLUB for FREE?

1. With out saying anything try to give the Club the impression that you are a cop walk around looking very suspicious if you spot any contact between a dancer and customer pull out a note book and pen and act as if you are keeping notes.

2. Start a tab then when you go to tip the girls on stage instead of actually giving them a dollar tell them to put it on your tab.

3. Look for the most broke looking customer then convince all of the dancers that he is really a billionaire in disguise.

Hell, nobody believes it without a link. I knew yours were a joke. I thought it rather obvious mine was too.

In my case I want to make it clear when I am joking and when I am not. You actually want people to believe your strawmen and lies are true. That's the difference.

Wow, you are really getting shoddy davids. The date is for Fri, Nov 18, 2006. Even your satire is unconvincing.

Let's compare with AN's advice:

My Thoughts on Science Fri, Nov 18, 2006 @ 7:25 pm Posted by: AbbieNormal

Actually, davids, I think science does indeed have its limitations in terms of explanatory powers. At this point other paradigms of knowledge such as astrology, ESP, and palmistry come into play. You should look into these things before you go off spouting your unbounded optimism about science.

Me too, please.

#2 " If you need to spend money make sure it is only on the dancers you don't find attractive and the waitresses."

What the fuck is this crap? Nice strawmen, AN: you fucking retard.

A blast from the past, brought back for those of you nostalgic for the old days.

QED. Thanks davids.

JC, AN: Yeah like it matters what pathetic loser lap dance buying regulars opinions on things are. In fact, I think just by applying the rule: do the opposite what they say to do you could get pretty far (with some reasonable exceptions of course, if they say don't fire a gun in a strip club I would have to side with them).

All that matters is what works and what doesn't.

Absolutely, AbbieNormal.

I agree, however the next time we discuss anything from our experiences to a past favorite he will chime in that we are all pathetic losers in denial because we want sex, but pay for lapdances. It is very old by now, and one would think that someone as intelligent as davids implies he is would have caught on by now that his opinion is understood and for most of us rejected.

If that is how davids wants to spend his money (on strip club cover charges and overpriced drinks) and time (trying to befriend strippers for dating), so be it. I think he gets it by now that we think what he's trying is foolish.

Nothing new for me to say here beyond what I've already posted.

We've had a new rules discussion before. Here's the bump of our summary of davids' advice. True, we were annoyed with davids and trying to get him to go away, and he is so much more pleasant now, but I think the point that going to a club should be fun, and davids makes it into a job is a valid one.

DavidS, I'm still waiting for you to explain that to me. How will I ever learn otherwise?

It's all covered in the new book, "How to Be Interesting"!

Rule # 18) Applies to AN: When all your attempts at proving your INTELLIGENCE (e.g. Godel's theorem: still laughing my ass off about that one) have FAILED MISERABLY see if you can COMPENSATE with SARCASM and STRAWMEN.

Yeah, someone doesn't get it. Be interesting... WOW, never thought of that one...

You guys are close to being right, but some of this stuff is rather mangled: e.g. spending money on unattractive strippers. WTF?

You are also overlooking key points like be interesting to talk to and have a good sense of humor and make fun of the strippers.

I fear you guys just don't get it. Anyway...

1. Whatever you do remember this, NOBODY has EVER thought these thoughts before. You are THE FIRST to ever CONCEIVE of these thoughts. The simple fact that most guys would like to score with strippers for free doesn't mean anyone has ever tried to come up with a new way to do it. Also remember that strippers rarely get hit on in the club, so that's the best place to catch them off guard.

1. The best advice on all this stuff doesn't come from anybody with experience. No, it's self-help books like 'You Too Can Score With Beautiful Women'.

1. Remember, just because your attitude and approach all scream "I'm special" and you expect the strippers that lie to and string along other customers to be up front and honest with you, that does not mean you are a PL. You're special, and the strippers will notice.

1. Tell them you're asking "for a friend".

1. Even though they're lying deceiving bitches talk to the strippers to get their views about customers. The information the lying deceiving bitches tell you is useful for planning your strategy on how to date the lying deceiving lowlife bitches.

Heh.

1. If you're old, then stop being old. Strippers don't like that.