Christmas Jokes

SlickSpic
Here's my contribution. Feel free for zingers of your own.

Q:Why do Mexicans get Tamales for Christmas?

A:So we can have something to unwrap.

8 comments

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crazyjoe
11 years ago
Lol I haven't heard that oneone

Why is Santa always so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.


Did you about Santa's bad day? He was frustrated because the elves were on a work slow strike because they were mad about their low pay. Toy production was way behind so Santa was doing everything he could to catch up.

He tries to gather up all his reindeer and he can't find half of them because they are at the bar drinking because they felt unappreciated.

Next he gathers up toys to loaf the sleigh. He slips in the snow and falls down and toys go everywhere.

He is mad and goes stomping into the house. He is ready for a shot of whiskey. He opens the liquor cabinet and grabs his bottle and its empty! The elves had drank it! He slams it on the floor and it breaks in a million pieces.

Next there is a knock on the door. When he answered there is a little angel with a Christmas tree there. The angel says, "Santa, where do want me to put this Christmas tree? "...

That is the story of how the angel got to be on top of the Christmas tree.
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Santa came down a chimney on Christmas and found a beautiful blonde in a robe laying on the couch. She said " Santa, will you spend the night with me?"

Santa says, "Ho ho ho got to go. Got to get toys to all the boys and girls".

The blonde takesn off her robe to reveal some very sexy lingerie and she asks, "Are you sure you can't stay?

Santa says, "Ho ho ho got to go. Got to get toys to all the boys and girls".

The blonde takes off her lingerie and shows her sexy body and asks, "Are you sure you can't stay?"

Santa says, "Hay hay hay got to stay. I can't get up the chimney with my dick this way".
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Why is Rudolf the only reindeer with a red nose?

He stops faster than the rest
ATACdawg
11 years ago
So Rudolph, the local commissar is driving his Lauda with his wife in the passenger seat. After a little while, it began to precipitate.

"Look, darlink, it is beginning to snow," said Rudy.

"No, my bubka, it looks like rain to me," replied his wife.

"No, you are wrong. Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear"
mikeya02
11 years ago
Homer Simpson crashes the car into a reindeer statue during the holidays
Homer: "DOH!"
Marge: "A deer!"
Lisa: "A female deer!"
SlickSpic
11 years ago
I'm loving them!
ATACdawg
11 years ago
Aaaaaabhhhhhhhhhh!

Tearing my eyes out Shadow.. Darkness is definitely better!
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