You know what's a bitch?

avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
You finally get a stripper to meet up out the club and you get stuck babysitting. It's not even her kids! It's her damn sister's kids. I said, 'where's your sister?' 'Going to see her boyfriend.' Going to see her boyfriend?? Why didn't she take her damn kids? She had to run to work. I said 'I came here to see a stripper.' 'I know, I'll be back after work then we can have some fun.' Mother fucker.

It's alright, by the end of the day I had the oldest one, the seven year old rolling my joints. Took them to a buffet, acted like they never been to fucking restaurant before, raising seven kinds of hell. Went to the park and that was a nightmare. Came back to her apartment, finally got them in bed, now I'm going to sit here and get drunk.

34 comments

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avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
You could be in legal trouble for corrupting a minor by exposing the child to illegal marijuana. NOT to mention getting drunk while minors are in your care. You could get REALLY screwed over here Sir.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
I think Doc is in Colorado where MJ is legal, no?
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Fire her and find a new favorite
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
Marijuana use is a Federal crime, which overrules State law.
avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
11 years ago
Good point. Next time, I'll call you over to babysit.
avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
11 years ago
Michael Jackson is never legal, Doug.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
You sure about that? Think the Supreme Court would uphold it? Would the Feds risk them not by even trying to prosecute? And if they did don't you think they would pick a more favorable target to prosecute then Doc?
avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
11 years ago
Hey, I kept these kids from jaywalking! I'm a model citizen.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
Would you roll my?
Could you roll my?
Won't you roll my doobie?
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
"Next time, I'll call you over to babysit"

Just refrain from using illicit drugs.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
^^^tries to tell everyone how to live and claims he is merely expressing his opinion
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
11 years ago
Doc, I've heard a lot of stripper stories but this is a first.

I've never been a babysitter for a stripper, but I've met some of the kids of strippers I was doing OTC. The boys were little thugs and the girls were destined to be working the pole.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
It is my opinion, I have NO way to make him do anything & don't wish to make him do anything. If he wishes to take a chance on a drug arrest & conviction - that's his choice. But that doesn't stop you from attacking me dummy.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
^^^ nobody cares what your stupid opinion is, psycho
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
^^^ NOR yours Asshole.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
11 years ago
Yep and it was me telling him what to do. Try getting a clue one of these days, homo!
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
11 years ago
Hey Alucard, going to a whorehouse and paying girls to suck your dick is illegal, but you like it. See what an ass you are when you preach against what others like. I really think you are out of your motherfucking mind.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
This guy knows what he is talking about^^^
avatar for jestrite50
jestrite50
11 years ago
Sounds like you were snookered on this one the worst OTC I ever experienced was when she said she had to get her son to sleep first and then fell asleep herself trying to get him to sleep. If she told me she was going to work and leaving me to babysit I probably would have said no way ! You ain't leaving me with that kid ! Now is a different story though since we've been meeting for 2 1/2 years. Now I really like him and would do it. So I guess it depends on how close you are in your relationship. I would do a lot of things now I wouldn't have done 2 1/2 years ago when I first met her.
avatar for baconator
baconator
11 years ago
I'm gone for like six months, come back.... First thing I wanna do is make a post telling Alucard to shut up. Same old tuscl.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
11 years ago
Kids under 3 eat for free at Old Country Buffet.

Just make fake ID's for all seven of them.

And don't let Alucard tell you fake ID's are illegal under Federal Law Making fake ID's is NOT illegal under our President. That's how a dude from Kenya got to be Prez
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
I can't believe that you let a 7 year old roll your spliffs. I use 9 year olds. There fingers are better suited for joints.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
11 years ago
But the 9 year olds are too expensive. They teach labor law in the 4th grade now. They know about that pesky minimum wage rule.
avatar for bang69
bang69
11 years ago
Pot,weed is leagle in Colorado
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
I just don't trust anyone under 5 with a bong. They might drop it.
avatar for bang69
bang69
11 years ago
Alucard does have a good point
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
We've gotten distracted by all the weed talk. The question I have is HOW MUCH DID DOC PAY? That number would be the PL quotient.

And don't worry 'bout the 5 year old and the bong. If they break it you can always teach them how to make one out of an apple.

JUST JOKING...seriously boys and girls, don't buy drugs.

Become a pop star and they give them to yo for FREE!
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
Sotto voice...OK, I know that I stole the last line from "Love Actually" but it is frickin' funny.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
I thought that a bitch was a female dog. :)
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
I guess altard is a female dog then. I will bring milk bones next time
avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
11 years ago
"The question I have is HOW MUCH DID DOC PAY? That number would be the PL quotient." - zipman68

It cost me a day of my life is what it cost me! And by the time she got home, I didn't even want to have sex, because all I could think about was another one of those little shits popping out of her vagina.

I did get a blow job in the car and I have to say it was worth it. But, it's like after a hard day of work or going camping where you're so physically depleted, that final meal of the day fills the void of everything you spent. Shit was good.

No more babysitting Bebe's kids, though. I'm done with that.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
Tell her ass to pay you. You just did babysitting service. or make it compensate with free sex because shit, babysitting is a job too maricon
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Doc, all I want to know is, where you her huckleberry?
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
@motorhead he was born in America bro.
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